Does personality trump looks?

[diggler649]

Slow day at work so far. Having a debate with a female colleague.

I threw out a scenario to her. Who would she rather date? A guy that was a 3 out of 10 in terms of looks, but an 8 out of 10 in terms of personality. OR, a guy that was 3 out of 10 in terms of personality, but an 8 out of 10 in terms of personality. And she can't say neither.

She chose 3 out of 10 in terms of looks, but great personality. I called BS on her. True he may have a great personality, but can you really imagine yourself kissing a guy whose face looked like a workman's bench? And how would you not be grossed out about having to go to bed with him? Keeping in mind that this female colleague rates about a 7.5 out of 10 so it's not like she's pug fugly or anything.

So, my question to you noobs is: Can a winning personality trump hideous looks?

Discuss.

[kennyhohoho]

Slow day at work so far. Having a debate with a female colleague.

I threw out a scenario to her. Who would she rather date? A guy that was a 3 out of 10 in terms of looks, but an 8 out of 10 in terms of personality. OR, a guy that was 3 out of 10 in terms of personality, but an 8 out of 10 in terms of personality. And she can't say neither.

She chose 3 out of 10 in terms of looks, but great personality. I called BS on her. True he may have a great personality, but can you really imagine yourself kissing a guy whose face looked like a workman's bench? And how would you not be grossed out about having to go to bed with him? Keeping in mind that this female colleague rates about a 7.5 out of 10 so it's not like she's pug fugly or anything.

So, my question to you noobs is: Can a winning personality trump hideous looks?

Discuss.

No. Girl is lying. Women say these things to not sound superficial, but in reality they actually are.

Just go to any club in the downtown area on a Friday night and you'll see what I mean.

[SoBored]

not really, especially if you are actually hideous - most women won't even bother to get to know your personality before they'd write you off.

[Psubs]

No. Girl is lying. Women say these things to not sound superficial, but in reality they actually are.

Just go to any club in the downtown area on a Friday night and you'll see what I mean.

Depends on "date". In a club, the girls have guards up and will only allow the 7's-10's to talk to them and entertain them.

Girls will "date" the 3, but will only be friends UNLESS she's blind or screwed over enough by 7+'s to be in a relationship with someone less hot.


not really, especially if you are actually hideous - most women won't even bother to get to know your personality before they'd write you off.

A girl will only drop so low below herself down the rating scale.

OP's female colleague must be around a 5 or 6.

An example would be height. A girl would be okay with a guy taller than herself, but if he was more than 2 inches shorter than it becomes a rarity where other factors may be evident to explain things.

[longitude]

What about a 10 in personality and a 10 in looks?


The girl may not have a chance.

[setell]

I'll take the 3 in looks as personality lasts WAY longer than looks. Besides, a 3 to you may not be truly a 3 to the other person so it's insanely subjective. I rather a guy shower me with love and affection than some a-hole that think he's a constant hot shot.

[kennyhohoho]

Depends on "date". In a club, the girls have guards up and will only allow the 7's-10's to talk to them and entertain them.

Girls will "date" the 3, but will only be friends UNLESS she's blind or screwed over enough by 7+'s to be in a relationship with someone less hot.



A girl will only drop so low below herself down the rating scale.

OP's female colleague must be around a 5 or 6.

An example would be height. A girl would be okay with a guy taller than herself, but if he was more than 2 inches shorter than it becomes a rarity where other factors may be evident to explain things.

I also forgot to mention the rule of 2 always comes into play in every situation. Men and women tend not to date outside 2 points lower or higher than where they stand themselves.

Unless of course there's money involved. Money is an instant 5 point increase. Which is why Donald Trump, who would otherwise be a 2, is constantly bagging 9s. His money bumps him up to a 7 :D

[olssy]

In the long run personality will always trump looks.

[xalex0]

The issue is that IRL the appearance is readily visible, while personality takes more time to recognize. So assuming random distribution, it makes more sense to filter out bad looks first, and then spend some time learning the personality.
While in this scenario, everything is known in advance.

[kennyhohoho]

In the long run personality will always trump looks.

In the long run, yes. When people grow old together and their looks start to fade, it's the personalities that keep people together.

However, looks are important in creating that first impression and initial spark between two people. If someone doesn't have the looks to start and develop a relationship, how would they get to know their personality in the first place?

[neutral]

There are limits with everything. Plus your idea of a good personality and hers are likely very different. You may associate personality with being 'nice', but for her that likely means a personality associated with someone who is confident about themselves, and probably their looks too.

[dakota2001]

hideous is a rating of -0 and beyond 1 being okay looking, 10 would be damn...
So yeah a 3 in looks and a 7+ in personality is my pick.

Can't compare to a club pick up (How do you find someones personality in a loud drunken dark place?) That's where people wake up the next day and say OMG what did I bring home!

I do not think anyone wants a mangled faced person for a partner, but an average looking person may have nice eyes, cute smile, or many things that are attractive.
Can you imagine dating a hottie, and they are boring, or brain dead?
I Personally like the difference in a guy! the uniqueness of his looks, usually (not always) seems they have a great personality, from not being perfect! Which they seem to have more to offer and are perfectly unperferfect!

Most people are superficial when they first look at a possible mate, but if you are in a setting with a group of people talking, or the person rated at less then a 5 comes up and talks to you, the better chance is personality trumps hottness.

If the person is hot, and has no personality, that leads to a short period of knowing the person, long lasting relationships depend on personality. Looks fade, personality is forever!

[the_fm]

snip

you forgot one thing: age. age plays a big factor in this. young people tend to go for the hot stuff but really drab personality. it's all about fitting in and being popular. as you get older (30 and beyond), you tend to be a bit more lax in looks

[diggler649]

I'll take the 3 in looks as personality lasts WAY longer than looks. Besides, a 3 to you may not be truly a 3 to the other person so it's insanely subjective. I rather a guy shower me with love and affection than some a-hole that think he's a constant hot shot.

Setell, you're a chick right? Hi, I'm diggler by the way.

So what you're saying is you wouldn't be grossed out by kissing/sleeping with a 3? I would say that there would have to be at least some sort of initial physical attraction otherwise you wouldn't even give the guy a chance. For example, your walking past a comic nerd convention. Out walks an Asian Shrek eating Kraft cheese singles from the wrapper and whose face looked like an abortion on toast. He accidentally bumps into you because he was reading a comic book price guide and wasn't watching where he was going. You two strike up a convo and he asks you out for a coffee. Personality seems great. Would you go?

[MrMimizu]

She chose 3 out of 10 in terms of looks, but great personality. I called BS on her. True he may have a great personality, but can you really imagine yourself kissing a guy whose face looked like a workman's bench? And how would you not be grossed out about having to go to bed with him? Keeping in mind that this female colleague rates about a 7.5 out of 10 so it's not like she's pug fugly or anything.

Discuss.

She is not lying. I have seen way too many superhot 12/10 girls with 1/10 guys.

[kennyhohoho]

She is not lying. I have seen way too many superhot 12/10 girls with 1/10 guys.

See previous post about rule of 2. :D

[eudaii]

if you're ugly you better have both personality and money
just sayin

[Simaahoy]

Slow day at work so far. Having a debate with a female colleague.

I threw out a scenario to her. Who would she rather date? A guy that was a 3 out of 10 in terms of looks, but an 8 out of 10 in terms of personality. OR, a guy that was 3 out of 10 in terms of personality, but an 8 out of 10 in terms of personality. And she can't say neither.

She chose 3 out of 10 in terms of looks, but great personality. I called BS on her. True he may have a great personality, but can you really imagine yourself kissing a guy whose face looked like a workman's bench? And how would you not be grossed out about having to go to bed with him? Keeping in mind that this female colleague rates about a 7.5 out of 10 so it's not like she's pug fugly or anything.

So, my question to you noobs is: Can a winning personality trump hideous looks?

Discuss.

Nope, no matter what great personality they have I wouldn't date a guy that looks hideous to me.

[manixc]

There is probably a threshold where personality can overcome not-so-great looks. Kinda like the crazy vs hot line.

[spintheblackcircle]

For the sake of this argument, these "/10"'s are all subjective to the individual (obviously).

Let's face it, 3/10 in looks TO YOU is pretty damn low. They would have multiple physical flaws that you do not find attractive and it would take a lot of doing to change (presuming they could be changed i.e. weight). You would not give this person a second look on the street. Even with an 8/10 in personality you would likely just be their friend and not have a relationship (read sexual) with them.

Looks get you in the door, personality keep you there. I guess it would depend on the threshold of looks that you personally would "tolerate" (assuming that personality shone threw simultaneously), but 3/10 is LOW.

[Lostwords]

No it does not Trump looks but it does make up the negative in looks. Ex: if you are 3/10 on looks and 7/10 on personality, it probably bring up your total score to 10-15 out of 20.

[kennyhohoho]

There is probably a threshold where personality can overcome not-so-great looks. Kinda like the crazy vs hot line.

http://theunqualifiedeconomist.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/image001.jpg

[AudiDude]

You've seen it before. Marry the hot guy and try to force him to change or marry the ugly dude and try to force him to change...

I met this one woman who I would rate a seven out of ten. I think most guys might. When you meet her, she casts a spell on you and you'll say she is a hard nine. She has a super personality and a weird kind of hypnotic magnetism that attracts guys like moths to a flame.

[sylpherware]

Only the "personality" of your wallet will trump looks, and your wallet better treat her like a 10

[Manatus]

I don't think it's a straight line, there comes a point where no matter how good your personality is, it can't make up for your lack of looks (and vice versa). Kind of like the Mendoza line in baseball. I think the reason that personality appears to trump looks in many cases is that there are very few people who are truly hideous, but many people who appear to have a bad personality, since in my opinion personality is more subjective (different people are interested in different things, can tolerate different things in others etc). So if you choose someone with a good personality, most likely they'll look at least not too bad. If you pick someone with good looks, it's very likely that you won't get along well as people because that pool is so much smaller.

[canas1an]

Looks will get you there, personality will keep you there.

[stuntman]

She will go out with the good looking guy for a while before dumping the (or being dumped).
The guy with personality would be able to stick around longer until some good looking guy takes her away...but she would/might go back.....3 our of 10 is a very low score.

Stupidity is a big turn off.....stupid girl is not a turn on but can be endured for a bit.

There are some other major factors:
-Fitness
-Money (not usually a big requirement).
-maturity

[spintheblackcircle]

Only the "personality" of your wallet will trump looks, and your wallet better treat her like a 10

I can honestly say that I have never dated a woman that I felt was overtly taking advantage of me for money. By that I mean that I don't have an excess of it, just them not "pulling their weight" on dates and whatnot. If I did sense it, then I would say something like "you're paying" or whatever lol. Guys who let themselves get walked on like this are the definition of beta (and not going out with the right girls).

Another non-physical/monetary factor that somewhat plays in is what this article (random google search) calls "juice".

http://uvtblog.com/2009/02/the-womans-real-scale-of-1-10/

Basically it's affiliation, "coolness", or "in's" that a guy/girl might have. I think that plays a huge roll as well.

[pacman101]

No. Girl is lying. Women say these things to not sound superficial, but in reality they actually are.

Just go to any club in the downtown area on a Friday night and you'll see what I mean.

Agreed 110%.

I have hardly met any decent to beautiful looking girl giving a "3 out of 10" type of guy a real chance at love lol.

Sure at your office the beautiful ladies will tell you straight to your face they would choose personality over looks any day.
But when they are out and about at the club or mall, who do you think they will get all blushy and flirty with??

The dude who is well dressed, has a nice physique, good facial features and good personal hygene
vs
The dude who looks like an obese meth head with shaggy looking clothing and hair???

^ Honestly who do you think most girls would pick to flirt with??

I know there are exceptions to the norm but I don't see it too often.

What I notice is a lot of women out there want guys who would "accept her for who she is" but in turn he MUST BE WELL BUILT, HAVE $$$ AND LOOKS.
And this is not just the beautiful girls either. Even the average to less than average girls are often like this.
Just look on Craigslist on the W4M dating section. You'll see girls who have some extra pounds on them expecting their male counterparts to be romeo's with Bruce Lee muscles or something ;)

[mysticalinfluence]

No one is going give you a truthful answer on this afraid in reality with all the BS aside Looks trumps personality but money will trump looks. This just how life is and always has been.

[r1lee]

Personality only trumps looks after you have approved the looks department.

No one looks at a person they have never met before and say, "hey I want to do date that no so good looking guy/girl".

[CanadaGooseForumAdmin]

I also forgot to mention the rule of 2 always comes into play in every situation. Men and women tend not to date outside 2 points lower or higher than where they stand themselves.

Unless of course there's money involved. Money is an instant 5 point increase. Which is why Donald Trump, who would otherwise be a 2, is constantly bagging 9s. His money bumps him up to a 7 :D

Money trumps Trump. You heard it here first. :D

[thecheeseman]

Personality always will overcome looks.

Looks fade, whereas personality stays.

[peanutz]

Slow day at work so far. Having a debate with a female colleague.

I threw out a scenario to her. Who would she rather date? A guy that was a 3 out of 10 in terms of looks, but an 8 out of 10 in terms of personality. OR, a guy that was 3 out of 10 in terms of personality, but an 8 out of 10 in terms of personality. And she can't say neither.

She chose 3 out of 10 in terms of looks, but great personality. I called BS on her. True he may have a great personality, but can you really imagine yourself kissing a guy whose face looked like a workman's bench? And how would you not be grossed out about having to go to bed with him? Keeping in mind that this female colleague rates about a 7.5 out of 10 so it's not like she's pug fugly or anything.

So, my question to you noobs is: Can a winning personality trump hideous looks?

Discuss.Most of the guys' hunches here are true.

3/10 in looks is quite bad and the only thing that possibly trumps it is a 9+/10 in MONEY/ASSETS in the real world (unless the girl herself is 3/10 in looks.)

No one seeks a mate that is a 3/10 in anything. A more realistic example would be to compare:
i) 5/10 in looks with 8/10 in personality
VS
ii) 8/10 in looks with 5/10 in personality

In that case, the 8/10 personality wins by far.

[no_username]

Looks don't fade, you see it in your children.

[peanutz]

Looks don't fade, you see it in your children.HAHAHAHA so true... :) :(

[thecheeseman]

not true. ugly parents sometimes give birth to good looking kids and vice versa.
I've seen it myself

[diggler649]

not true. ugly parents sometimes give birth to good looking kids and vice versa.
I've seen it myself

That's true. My wife is probably a 7.5 out of 10 but her parents look like rabid Asian Ewoks.

[peanutz]

Asian Shreks and Asian Ewoks... what universe am I in? :cheesygri

[sylpherware]

That's true. My wife is probably a 7.5 out of 10 but her parents look like rabid Asian Ewoks.

Them genes don't lie, dude ;)

[diggler649]

Asian Shreks and Asian Ewoks... what universe am I in? :cheesygri

The RFD universe!!!

Hi Nutz, by the way.

[diggler649]

Them genes don't lie, dude ;)

So, in other words, I should get out while there's still time?

Hey, EB. I'll be available shortly. Ice cream at Greg's next week?

[FrogPrince]

That's true. My wife is probably a 7.5 out of 10 but her parents look like rabid Asian Ewoks.

Give her time.

[pacman101]

But I also think a lot of women out there have very very high expectations (dare you say unrealistic??)
towards men while not looking at their own reflections in the mirror.

Everybody has flaws, both physically and personality wise. Regardless if you look like a goblin from a b horror movie or a beauty pageant queen. Its there. Nobody is "perfect" and sooner or later your flaws will show.

The problem I find is that a lot of women in Toronto seem to project themselves with this air of self entitlement. Everything is about them.
In their eyes they are "perfect" and if a guy shows ANY sort of physical or personality flaw, he is not good for her.

Meanwhile in reality
she may have a few extra pounds here, or a couple of wrinkles there. But she just doesn't see it because she was brought up believing she is the modern day incarnation of an ancient Greek or Roman female sculpture.

I don't look for perfection in a woman. What I look for in a woman is somebody who is physically attractive to ME (I don't care if my friend Peter or Evan doesn't find her hot lol) and also if she has a compatible personality with mines.

I wish women from around here thought the same way as I and many other guys do.

[diggler649]

But I also think a lot of women out there have very very high expectations (dare you say unrealistic??)
towards men while not looking at their own reflections in the mirror.

Everybody has flaws, both physically and personality wise. Regardless if you look like a goblin from a b horror movie or a beauty pageant queen. Its there. Nobody is "perfect" and sooner or later your flaws will show.

The problem I find is that a lot of women in Toronto seem to project themselves with this air of self entitlement. Everything is about them.
In their eyes they are "perfect" and if a guy shows ANY sort of physical or personality flaw, he is not good for her.

Meanwhile in reality
she may have a few extra pounds here, or a couple of wrinkles there. But she just doesn't see it because she was brought up believing she is the modern day incarnation of an ancient Greek or Roman female sculpture.

I don't look for perfection in a woman. What I look for in a woman is somebody who is physically attractive to ME (I don't care if my friend Peter or Evan doesn't find her hot lol) and also if she has a compatible personality with mines.

I wish women from around here thought the same way as I and many other guys do.

My only criteria is that she doesn't smell like a dumpster.

[Psubs]

The problem I find is that a lot of women in Toronto seem to project themselves with this air of self entitlement. Everything is about them.
In their eyes they are "perfect" and if a guy shows ANY sort of physical or personality flaw, he is not good for her.

Meanwhile in reality
she may have a few extra pounds here, or a couple of wrinkles there. But she just doesn't see it because she was brought up believing she is the modern day incarnation of an ancient Greek or Roman female sculpture.

Everyone coddles them. All over Facebook. Girl you so hot. So pretty. Really they are all insecure but project perfection and expect perfection.

Ideally, they should marry a guy that could be their best-friend. They won't date guys that are dropped into the friendzone first, so they get imperfect mates and try to change them to be their best-friend, thus the massive amounts of divorce. :facepalm:

[setell]

Setell, you're a chick right? Hi, I'm diggler by the way.

So what you're saying is you wouldn't be grossed out by kissing/sleeping with a 3? I would say that there would have to be at least some sort of initial physical attraction otherwise you wouldn't even give the guy a chance. For example, your walking past a comic nerd convention. Out walks an Asian Shrek eating Kraft cheese singles from the wrapper and whose face looked like an abortion on toast. He accidentally bumps into you because he was reading a comic book price guide and wasn't watching where he was going. You two strike up a convo and he asks you out for a coffee. Personality seems great. Would you go? A 3 to me is not Shrek. It’s been mentioned, but the stupid scale is very subjective. To me a Shrek or Quasimodo is a 0 in looks but hell they got a 10 in personality! So your rebuttle is moot as I’ve never encounter a Shrek in real life. I mentioned it before but if a guy had the balls to ask me for coffee by talking via bumping into each other than he deserves a chance. Shows that he’s one to take charge of his life and able to chase after what he desire. Traits I admire in a potential partner. So yeah, I’ll go get coffee with this “shrek”.

As to dating down, meh lots of people have told me I went way lower than I should with my ex in the looks department. I never found looks to be a big thing for me as the initial attraction was personality to me.


Agreed 110%.

The dude who is well dressed, has a nice physique, good facial features and good personal hygene vs
The dude who looks like an obese meth head with shaggy looking clothing and hair???

^ Honestly who do you think most girls would pick to flirt with??

whoaaa shouldn’t EVERYBODY have good hygiene regardless of your looks!


But I also think a lot of women out there have very very high expectations (dare you say unrealistic??)
towards men while not looking at their own reflections in the mirror.

Everybody has flaws, both physically and personality wise. Regardless if you look like a goblin from a b horror movie or a beauty pageant queen. Its there. Nobody is "perfect" and sooner or later your flaws will show.

The problem I find is that a lot of women in Toronto seem to project themselves with this air of self entitlement. Everything is about them.
In their eyes they are "perfect" and if a guy shows ANY sort of physical or personality flaw, he is not good for her.

Meanwhile in reality
she may have a few extra pounds here, or a couple of wrinkles there. But she just doesn't see it because she was brought up believing she is the modern day incarnation of an ancient Greek or Roman female sculpture.

I don't look for perfection in a woman. What I look for in a woman is somebody who is physically attractive to ME (I don't care if my friend Peter or Evan doesn't find her hot lol) and also if she has a compatible personality with mines.

I wish women from around here thought the same way as I and many other guys do. You sound insanely bitter. I’ve been burned bad by the ex (who happens to be a male version of what you described) and you don’t see me lump all men into this stereotype that they are rotten. You just haven’t found the right gal that’s all. I for one (and all my girlfriends) are far from high maintenance but yet run into rotten men. Meh just our luck I guess.

[diggler649]

A 3 to me is not Shrek. It’s been mentioned, but the stupid scale is very subjective. To me a Shrek or Quasimodo is a 0 in looks but hell they got a 10 in personality! So your rebuttle is moot as I’ve never encounter a Shrek in real life. I mentioned it before but if a guy had the balls to ask me for coffee by talking via bumping into each other than he deserves a chance. Shows that he’s one to take charge of his life and able to chase after what he desire. Traits I admire in a potential partner. So yeah, I’ll go get coffee with this “shrek”.

As to dating down, meh lots of people have told me I went way lower than I should with my ex in the looks department. I never found looks to be a big thing for me as the initial attraction was personality to me.

whoaaa shouldn’t EVERYBODY have good hygiene regardless of your looks!

You sound insanely bitter. I’ve been burned bad by the ex (who happens to be a male version of what you described) and you don’t see me lump all men into this stereotype that they are rotten. You just haven’t found the right gal that’s all. I for one (and all my girlfriends) are far from high maintenance but yet run into rotten men. Meh just our luck I guess.

Really? Come on. So if an ugly guy asked you out, you had absolutely no physical attraction to him at all, but you respected the fact that they had the grapefruits to ask you out, you would go? Then you're in the slim minority. I think most would've said no. Just my opinion.

We need some other RFD chicks to weigh in as well. Biee? EB? Pocahontas?

[Simaahoy]

Really? Come on. So if an ugly guy asked you out, you had absolutely no physical attraction to him at all, but you respected the fact that they had the grapefruits to ask you out, you would go? Then you're in the slim minority. I think most would've said no. Just my opinion.

We need some other RFD chicks to weigh in as well. Biee? EB? Pocahontas?

I wouldn't date someone just because they asked, that's just weak.

[particleman]

In practical terms personality is more important than looks. The problem with the dating scene is people need to make a decision based on only a small amount of information. It is hard to decide if you are going to date someone based on personality because it takes a very long time to fully understand someone's personality. Looks on the other hand, people can make a snap decision on.

In a bar, on a dating website, or even in everyday life it is very easy to gauge someone's looks, but next to impossible to judge someone's personality in a short time frame.

[EmperorOfCanada]

Really? Come on. So if an ugly guy asked you out, you had absolutely no physical attraction to him at all, but you respected the fact that they had the grapefruits to ask you out, you would go? Then you're in the slim minority. I think most would've said no. Just my opinion.

We need some other RFD chicks to weigh in as well. Biee? EB? Pocahontas?

Not calling you a liar Setell, but I have to say I think most women (and probably most guys) wish they were like this, but in reality would not give said person the time of day. Not because they are bad people but because it is not easy to overcome instincts which scream at you ('Not symmetrical!/Not fit!/Has defects! = Not suitable mating material = Do not waste time!). I think A lot of people wish they could fall in love based more on logic and less on primal attraction.

[the_fm]

Everyone coddles them. All over Facebook. Girl you so hot. So pretty. Really they are all insecure but project perfection and expect perfection.

extremely annoying! it's up to a point where you can't even approach them anymore without them thinking you want to get into their pants because of them guys throwing compliments left and right

[diggler649]

In practical terms personality is more important than looks. The problem with the dating scene is people need to make a decision based on only a small amount of information. It is hard to decide if you are going to date someone based on personality because it takes a very long time to fully understand someone's personality. Looks on the other hand, people can make a snap decision on.

In a bar, on a dating website, or even in everyday life it is very easy to gauge someone's looks, but next to impossible to judge someone's personality in a short time frame.

I would imagine online dating sites would be the most superficial at all. If the person's face looked like the inside of a used diaper, there's no way anyone would ever click on their profile. Big fat DELETE. FACT.

[setell]

Not calling you a liar Setell, but I have to say I think most women (and probably most guys) wish they were like this, but in reality would not give said person the time of day. Not because they are bad people but because it is not easy to overcome instincts which scream at you ('Not symmetrical!/Not fit!/Has defects! = Not suitable mating material = Do not waste time!). I think A lot of people wish they could fall in love based more on logic and less on primal attraction.

Been badly burned by the ex who happened to have a rotten personality. I have no desire to land myself another toxic waste of a guy so personality means a lot to me. I judge on other criteria’s that people might find me insane for. I like a guy that take or care about their presentation. Ie no holes in shirts, not insanely wrinkly clothes cause I think by my age you should learn to be more presentable, have good personal hygiene etc. I can’t for the love of god go out with you if you haven’t showered in like a month!

[Syne]

extremely annoying! it's up to a point where you can't even approach them anymore without them thinking you want to get into their pants because of them guys throwing compliments left and right

This is true. Dudes can be skags and ruin it for those of us who want to give that sparing and genuine compliment.

[spintheblackcircle]

I mentioned it before but if a guy had the balls to ask me for coffee by talking via bumping into each other than he deserves a chance. Shows that he’s one to take charge of his life and able to chase after what he desire. Traits I admire in a potential partner. So yeah, I’ll go get coffee with this “shrek”.

I'm speaking as a non-jaded guy who's gone out with a fair number of hot, normal girls in his life. Not the grossly superficial, money-grubbers that RFD seems to talk about... Good looking, independent, educated women who don't "need a man" to get by in life. They want a partner who is an equal and shares mutual attraction on many levels...

I call BS...

So in the link I posted they describe Jarrod (the subway guy) PRE-WEIGHTLOSS as a 3/10 (based on a number of criteria, including looks). If pre-weightloss Jarrod rolled up to you on the street, or in the bar or whatever and asked you for a drink/coffee you'd be like "Ya ok, it takes a lot of guts to do that so..."

No you would not, unless you believe you are in the same general "physical attractiveness" category as him OR find overweight men attractive. Everyone has their preferences where they give maybe a +1/10 to a certain "look" or body type or ethnicity or whatever that may not fit the "norms" of the average attractiveness scale person.

In the end everything is VERY subjective, but there HAS TO BE some physical attraction on some level for you to at least get to that first date. A 3/10 does not meet that personal criteria for any individual.

[EmperorOfCanada]

Been badly burned by the ex who happened to have a rotten personality. I have no desire to land myself another toxic waste of a guy so personality means a lot to me. I judge on other criteria’s that people might find me insane for. I like a guy that take or care about their presentation. Ie no holes in shirts, not insanely wrinkly clothes cause I think by my age you should learn to be more presentable, have good personal hygiene etc. I can’t for the love of god go out with you if you haven’t showered in like a month!

Are you pro or against men with titles? :D

[setell]

Are you pro or against men with titles? :D

What sort of titles? :cheesygri

[EbonyRose]

Didn't want to sort through 4 pages, but this is my take on it. Personality does rank higher than looks for me, but I'm not gonna be delusional. If the guy is butt-ugly, I know we won't work, because I won't want to jump his bones. The way I see it, there's a threshold for looks, once you meet that threshold, personality is the only factor deciding whether or not we'll work. Even if you're the hottest thing on the planet, your looks will not give you an advantage once you meet that threshold. Having said that, my threshold isn't really high. Pretty much, you just have to not look like a troll. Plus, if the personality is amazing, it makes the person more physically attractive to me. Personally, I'm not into pretty boys.

[SoBored]

Didn't want to sort through 4 pages, but this is my take on it. Personality does rank higher than looks for me, but I'm not gonna be delusional. If the guy is butt-ugly, I know we won't work, because I won't want to jump his bones. The way I see it, there's a threshold for looks, once you meet that threshold, personality is the only factor deciding whether or not we'll work. Even if you're the hottest thing on the planet, your looks will not give you an advantage once you meet that threshold. Having said that, my threshold isn't really high. Pretty much, you just have to not look like a troll. Plus, if the personality is amazing, it makes the person more physically attractive to me. Personally, I'm not into pretty boys.

the problem is, if there's two guys, one much better looking than the other, even if they both meet your 'threshold standard', you would be more inclined to meet the better looking one, because at that point you don't know anything about either of their personalities.

and maybe pretty boys arn't into YOU.

[Psubs]

Been badly burned by the ex who happened to have a rotten personality. I have no desire to land myself another toxic waste of a guy so personality means a lot to me. I judge on other criteria’s that people might find me insane for. I like a guy that take or care about their presentation. Ie no holes in shirts, not insanely wrinkly clothes cause I think by my age you should learn to be more presentable, have good personal hygiene etc. I can’t for the love of god go out with you if you haven’t showered in like a month!

There you go. You got badly burned, thus that changes the selection criteria. Some don't change until it's happened enough times.

Presentation is also looks. Also smell, plus anything that can be observed without talking to the person is superficial.

[diggler649]

Didn't want to sort through 4 pages, but this is my take on it. Personality does rank higher than looks for me, but I'm not gonna be delusional. If the guy is butt-ugly, I know we won't work, because I won't want to jump his bones. The way I see it, there's a threshold for looks, once you meet that threshold, personality is the only factor deciding whether or not we'll work. Even if you're the hottest thing on the planet, your looks will not give you an advantage once you meet that threshold. Having said that, my threshold isn't really high. Pretty much, you just have to not look like a troll. Plus, if the personality is amazing, it makes the person more physically attractive to me. Personally, I'm not into pretty boys.

So EB. You like...

This...
https://encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSTk10ushbvZsMvPR6TmBfh2wLAPCv0L khZMbzvUXR_dwtIn_k0

Or this...
https://encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSpu5mfYviprlIJzXOfr8FVmlMjDG4lY F_61ilnvOl_9XgvCyDQBg

[Syne]

^ I don't know what's more disturbing, that there isn't a white guy option, or that there isn't an option without man nipples.

[SoBored]

also, i'd like to add that most of the women commenting in this thread (no offense) are probably not the best looking girls in the world

probably a 6-7 at the most in most guys minds, which is why they are more willing to forego looks in lieu of personality.

a knockout 10 (irregardless if she has a great personality or not) is not going to be attracted to a guy who is a 5 or 6 - these are basic human instincts that go beyond conscious reasoning

[manixc]

Been badly burned by the ex who happened to have a rotten personality. I have no desire to land myself another toxic waste of a guy so personality means a lot to me. I judge on other criteria’s that people might find me insane for. I like a guy that take or care about their presentation. Ie no holes in shirts, not insanely wrinkly clothes cause I think by my age you should learn to be more presentable, have good personal hygiene etc. I can’t for the love of god go out with you if you haven’t showered in like a month!

What did your ex do to you? You mentioned that quite a few times in this thread and several other threads.

[EbonyRose]

the problem is, if there's two guys, one much better looking than the other, even if they both meet your 'threshold standard', you would be more inclined to meet the better looking one, because at that point you don't know anything about either of their personalities.

and maybe pretty boys arn't into YOU.

I always get to know the person before I start dating them, so I'd hang out with them both and decide after I've gotten to know them. You may not believe me, but I won't even notice their looks, when I'm getting to know them. There might be some unconscious thing that I may not realize, but then that's human psychology and I can't help it.


So EB. You like...

This...
https://encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSTk10ushbvZsMvPR6TmBfh2wLAPCv0L khZMbzvUXR_dwtIn_k0

Or this...
https://encrypted-tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSpu5mfYviprlIJzXOfr8FVmlMjDG4lY F_61ilnvOl_9XgvCyDQBg

Oh god, neither!


also, i'd like to add that most of the women commenting in this thread (no offense) are probably not the best looking girls in the world

probably a 6-7 at the most in most guys minds, which is why they are more willing to forego looks in lieu of personality.

a knockout 10 (irregardless if she has a great personality or not) is not going to be attracted to a guy who is a 5 or 6 - these are basic human instincts that go beyond conscious reasoning

lol, you don't know how wrong you are. Peanutz and Setell are actually very hot girls. If given a choice between 10 personality and 5 looks, OR 10 looks and 5 personality, personally, I think we'd see a divide between the sexes and a divide between age groups. The younger females and a larger number of males will go for the 10 in looks, while the older females and some older males will go for the 10 in personality. I'm generalizing, but that's just what I think from my experience. We learn as we get older, looks aren't as important.

[peanutz]

Didn't want to sort through 4 pages, but this is my take on it. Personality does rank higher than looks for me, but I'm not gonna be delusional. If the guy is butt-ugly, I know we won't work, because I won't want to jump his bones. The way I see it, there's a threshold for looks, once you meet that threshold, personality is the only factor deciding whether or not we'll work. Even if you're the hottest thing on the planet, your looks will not give you an advantage once you meet that threshold. Having said that, my threshold isn't really high. Pretty much, you just have to not look like a troll. Plus, if the personality is amazing, it makes the person more physically attractive to me. Personally, I'm not into pretty boys.+100000;


also, i'd like to add that most of the women commenting in this thread (no offense) are probably not the best looking girls in the world

probably a 6-7 at the most in most guys minds, which is why they are more willing to forego looks in lieu of personality.

a knockout 10 (irregardless if she has a great personality or not) is not going to be attracted to a guy who is a 5 or 6 - these are basic human instincts that go beyond conscious reasoningI'm about a 5/10 in non-made up non-fancy-dressed up looks but I've got my wily ways... :) And at least I'm not expecting my guys to be HOT... just reasonably average (and anything else is icing on the cake). And yes I have seen knockouts with average-ish guys, too. Good-looking people (or people who truly in the depths of their hearts wish they were exceptionally good-looking for whatever reason) put too much value in good looks; I have found for the majority of people as long as someone doesn't make the eyes bleed they are judged on other criteria. By the way, same for very intelligent people too - many overvalue intelligence IMO... (yeah you heard it from me, being smart isn't the most important feature either.)


Not calling you a liar Setell, but I have to say I think most women (and probably most guys) wish they were like this, but in reality would not give said person the time of day. Not because they are bad people but because it is not easy to overcome instincts which scream at you ('Not symmetrical!/Not fit!/Has defects! = Not suitable mating material = Do not waste time!). I think A lot of people wish they could fall in love based more on logic and less on primal attraction.It's a good thing I know myself. And I've already dated someone who might be close to a 3-4/10 in looks (short, fat, starting to bald) because he was a 10/10 in CONVERSATIONAL AWESOME but he had low EQ. You know when you have to steel yourself to tolerate the sex it's time to run... (yet for the record it was he who dumped me.)

[diggler649]

\lol, you don't know how wrong you are. Peanutz and Setell are actually very hot girls. If given a choice between 10 personality and 5 looks, OR 10 looks and 5 personality, personally, I think we'd see a divide between the sexes and a divide between age groups. The younger females and a larger number of males will go for the 10 in looks, while the older females and some older males will go for the 10 in personality. I'm generalizing, but that's just what I think from my experience. We learn as we get older, looks aren't as important.

Whoa, I didn't know that!

Peanutz: PM me a pic!

[setell]

There you go. You got badly burned, thus that changes the selection criteria. Some don't change until it's happened enough times.

Presentation is also looks. Also smell, plus anything that can be observed without talking to the person is superficial. Of course we’re superficial! Who isn’t! You’ll be kidding yourself if you didn’t admit you are. We all got a threshold as to what is acceptable and to me having basic hygiene is a must for me that is all!


Didn't want to sort through 4 pages, but this is my take on it. Personality does rank higher than looks for me, but I'm not gonna be delusional. If the guy is butt-ugly, I know we won't work, because I won't want to jump his bones. The way I see it, there's a threshold for looks, once you meet that threshold, personality is the only factor deciding whether or not we'll work. Even if you're the hottest thing on the planet, your looks will not give you an advantage once you meet that threshold. Having said that, my threshold isn't really high. Pretty much, you just have to not look like a troll. Plus, if the personality is amazing, it makes the person more physically attractive to me. Personally, I'm not into pretty boys.



I'm about a 5/10 in non-made up non-fancy-dressed up looks but I've got my wily ways... :) And at least I'm not expecting my guys to be HOT... just reasonably average (and anything else is icing on the cake). And yes I have seen knockouts with average-ish guys, too. Good-looking people (or people who truly in the depths of their hearts wish they were exceptionally good-looking for whatever reason) put too much value in good looks; I have found for the majority of people as long as someone doesn't make the eyes bleed they are judged on other criteria. By the way, same for very intelligent people too - many overvalue intelligence IMO... (yeah you heard it from me, being smart isn't the most important feature either.)

+1 sooo true ladies!!!!

You get bumped up a point or two by how you dress and present yourself and in the case of women, put on makeup.

[diggler649]

It's a good thing I know myself. And I've already dated someone who might be close to a 3-4/10 in looks (short, fat, starting to bald) because he was a 10/10 in CONVERSATIONAL AWESOME but he had low EQ. You know when you have to steel yourself to tolerate the sex it's time to run... (yet for the record it was he who dumped me.)

At first I didn't read because too long, but whoa! That's how vaginismus starts. FACT.

[Psubs]

You get bumped up a point or two by how you dress and present yourself and in the case of women, put on makeup.

Makeup on women is a neutral thing for me. A little is good but it's not highly correlated.

[setell]

At first I didn't read because too long, but whoa! That's how vaginismus starts. FACT.

lol it was um other issues peanutz was referring to.

[diggler649]

lol it was um other issues peanutz was referring to.

We need to find nutz a real man. Not a George Costanza stunt double.

[EbonyRose]

We need to find nutz a real man. Not a George Costanza stunt double.

Peanutz already has a man and he's a sweet one at that. We need to set up a Bachelorette thing for Setell though. ;)

[diggler649]

Peanutz already has a man and he's a sweet one at that. We need to set up a Bachelorette thing for Setell though. ;)

Oh yeah. I think she mentioned that when I crashed your chatroom. He's Somalian, right? Setell is hot?

Setell: WTF?!? Stop playing games and a post a damn pic.

I'll probably get an infraction for "uncalled for rudeness" but that's ok. I think an infraction dropped off so I've got some wiggle room.

[EbonyRose]

Oh yeah. I think she mentioned that when I crashed your chatroom. He's Somalian, right? Setell is hot?

Setell: WTF?!? Stop playing games and a post a damn pic.

I'll probably get an infraction for "uncalled for rudeness" but that's ok. I think an infraction dropped off so I've got some wiggle room.

lol, they've both been on cam countless times in chat. None of the girls that I've met on RFD have been ugly, so the stereotype that some guys seem to have about us being ugly is not true.

[dakota2001]

We are not discussing dirty homeless men! we are talking about normal men from 1-10. anything toothless and smells like hot garbage, isn't really looking for love! lol
Personality all the way, I do believe as you get older your views change, but I'm far from ugly, and I prefer a nice smile, or a sparkle in the eyes, or a nice back... There are many things that trump a big nose, or funny ears, or too skinny, or slightly overweight, or receeding hairline...
Look at even a hot person long enough, you can find flaws in them all kinds, yet a great personality is like airbrushing a photo! It adds so much more to a persons look!
And when walking up to a girl on the street, looking at her creepily and saying something stupid usually will get an ewww and scram from her, but just to walk up and ask her out for coffee or tell her she's pretty will make a huge difference.

Plus 2 ugly parents tend to make really good looking kids, yet 2 hot parents tend to make ugly kids, not always, but it seems more in that order!

[zz000ter]

How many of you guys would give an ugly girl a chance?

[diggler649]

we are not discussing dirty homeless men! We are talking about normal men from 1-10. Anything toothless and smells like hot garbage, isn't really looking for love! Lol
personality all the way, i do believe as you get older your views change, but i'm far from ugly, and i prefer a nice smile, or a sparkle in the eyes, or a nice back... There are many things that trump a big nose, or funny ears, or too skinny, or slightly overweight, or receeding hairline...
Look at even a hot person long enough, you can find flaws in them all kinds, yet a great personality is like airbrushing a photo! It adds so much more to a persons look!
And when walking up to a girl on the street, looking at her creepily and saying something stupid usually will get an ewww and scram from her, but just to walk up and ask her out for coffee or tell her she's pretty will make a huge difference.

Plus 2 ugly parents tend to make really good looking kids, yet 2 hot parents tend to make ugly kids, not always, but it seems more in that order!

So pull my finger doesn't work? Guilty.

[Simaahoy]

How many of you guys would give an ugly girl a chance?

Seems like like only you, since your asking the question right?

[zz000ter]

Seems like like only you, since your asking the question right?

Oh God - not you again - are you stalking me or something?

[EbonyRose]

Oh God - not you again - are you stalking me or something?

You have a girl stalking you! The other RFD guys are gonna worship you! ;)

[ishfish]

You have a girl stalking you! The other RFD guys are gonna worship you! ;)

Don't let her daddy find out, I hear he is very protective.:)

[Dilton]

The trick to getting the girl... is the hair:

http://www.costumeshopper.com/mm5/graphics/00000001/rtp4946.jpg


Doesn't matter how ugly your face is if you got the hair.

[sandikosh]

How many of you guys would give an ugly girl a chance?

I will. Provided from her neck down, she is a knockout. The face I can cover with a brown bag.:D

[paradigmGT3]

It is human nature to go for the best looking person you can get. Up to a certain point, looks always trump personality - to say otherwise is not being real to yourself or anyone else you are lying to.

[LostInTruth]

No. I look for someone with both. It's not that hard to find.

[no_username]

What does "personality" mean in the first place?

[the_fm]

No. I look for someone with both. It's not that hard to find.

hard to find? no. hard to get? yes. you may meet someone who has what you are looking for but are you what they are looking for? most of the time, no

[ak-47]

Funny how no one mentioned height yet.

Would you date someone who is 7/10 in looks but short, or someone who is 3/10 in looks but tall?

[danfromwaterloo]

Money
Looks
Personality

There's no full preference but a weighting across the three. Someone who has a lot of money and is really nice, but looks like a troll will have problems.

Someone who looks like a model with a horrid personality and no money will get nowhere.

[SoBored]

i think it's safe to say that EVERYONE is different / has different standards.

there's no 'one' combination that everyone looks for.

some girls will date a really good looking guy even if he is dead broke / extremely shallow

some girls will date a hideous looking guy if he is rich

some girls will date a normal guy who fares average in the other categories

etc, etc, etc.

I know plenty of woman (normal, successful) who could care less about the income the guy makes, and i know plenty who place significant importance on it - same goes for looks. personality is a tricky one - it's not so much 'nice guy' vs 'bad guy', but rather what two personalities are compatible with each other

i'd say most guys in here trying to generalize do so because they may not have been the most successful in dating and feel it's due to the fact they are lacking in something, when really everybody has their own preference in what they look for

[Syne]

Funny how no one mentioned height yet.

Would you date someone who is 7/10 in looks but short, or someone who is 3/10 in looks but tall?

http://blog.zap2it.com/frominsidethebox/Peter%20Dinklage.jpg

Peter Dinklage also curious.

[peanutz]

The next season of Game of Thrones is starting sooooooon!!!!

[Syne]

Heck ya! :D

[Strategy]

If you guys are saying money triumphs over looks and personality, how much money are we talking year (yearly income?). It can't be Bill Gate's money or anything like that...

[xvizardx]

99% of women lie.

They say things to make themselves look and sound lady-like.

They'd bang any hot guy they could until they can't walk anymore IF they can keep it a secret.
(I do have A LOT of close female friends, trust me. My bestfriend is a female and she tells me A LOT of stories.)

That's the reality about women.

On the other hand, there are those few women who actually wants to get to know someone first and look past physical appearance.

So yes, ONCE IN A BLUE MOON, one of those very few decent looking women would go for a man who isn't too great looking with great personality, but on a normal day, pfft! good luck.

I got a little secret to share.

A couple of months ago, I made an account on pof, I had mostly half body shots, i had a few girls message me maybe once or twice a week within the first month to first two months. Some time last week, I posted a whole body shot of myself while on a boat, made it my profile picture and I have been getting messages every single day.

My profile description has not changed ever since, same words on my profile. What has changed? MY Profile picture.

An average height (5'8) Asian guy with athletic body build.

I only had Asian girls message me before and I think only 3 white girls and some black girls, but now that I have that full body picture, I'd say I've been getting messages from every race and definitely more white girls this week.

I've always had his question on my mind and it's been cleared recently through POF.

If a woman ever tells you that looks don't matter, tell her to go choke on a big fat sausage from walmart. She's lying.

Go make a hot dude's profile on POF and see how many girls message you if you don't believe me.

[dragon_drift]

It depends. If your personality can keep someone happy on a consistent basis, yes it will trump looks, but if you're superficial and prefer a trophy bf/gf, then personality does not matter.

[the_fm]

If you guys are saying money triumphs over looks and personality, how much money are we talking year (yearly income?). It can't be Bill Gate's money or anything like that...

i'd say you need at least 100k of disposable money (after tax)

[No Frills]

What does "personality" mean in the first place?

+1, 'Personality' is the name given to my you know what.

[Syne]

I got a little secret to share.

A couple of months ago, I made an account on pof, I had mostly half body shots, i had a few girls message me maybe once or twice a week within the first month to first two months. Some time last week, I posted a whole body shot of myself while on a boat, made it my profile picture and I have been getting messages every single day.

My profile description has not changed ever since, same words on my profile. What has changed? MY Profile picture.

OH. My. GOD.

Seriously though, how is this a secret? I wouldn't message a woman who just posted a body shot either. If I'm going to go out with her, I'd much rather she have an attractive face, because the body you can always work on later. You can't do situps to make your nose smaller. I would never, ever consider dating anyone who just posted body shots on a dating site. It makes you look like trash if you're a woman, or like a massive dbag if you're a guy.

Might as well pose with a barbell in your hand.

[xvizardx]

OH. My. GOD.

Seriously though, how is this a secret? I wouldn't message a woman who just posted a body shot either. If I'm going to go out with her, I'd much rather she have an attractive face, because the body you can always work on later. You can't do situps to make your nose smaller. I would never, ever consider dating anyone who just posted body shots on a dating site. It makes you look like trash if you're a woman, or like a massive dbag if you're a guy.

Might as well pose with a barbell in your hand.

I'm talking about from head to toe shot.

Most of my pictures were half body shots, as in half my body up to my head , YES, the upper head! lol.

The most recent picture I added had from UPPER head to toe wearing tight shirt so my body shape was showing.

[Syne]

Ok, I misunderstood. I had you pegged for one of those brodudes who has like closeups of their bicep while they pose mid arm curl.

I don't know what's worse, those guys or the women that encourage them.

[Strategy]

i'd say you need at least 100k of disposable money (after tax)

But this money factor is exactly like personality: you can't tell how much money a person has. How are you suppose to know a guy has 100k disposable money after tax?

[Syne]

But this money factor is exactly like personality: you can't tell how much money a person has. How are you suppose to know a guy has 100k disposable money after tax?

Instead of bicep curls, you get someone to take a photo while you're in the middle of 'making it rain' all over your kitchen floor.

Bonus points if you're wearing sunglasses indoors.

[xvizardx]

Didn't want to sort through 4 pages, but this is my take on it. Personality does rank higher than looks for me, but I'm not gonna be delusional. If the guy is butt-ugly, I know we won't work, because I won't want to jump his bones. The way I see it, there's a threshold for looks, once you meet that threshold, personality is the only factor deciding whether or not we'll work. Even if you're the hottest thing on the planet, your looks will not give you an advantage once you meet that threshold. Having said that, my threshold isn't really high. Pretty much, you just have to not look like a troll. Plus, if the personality is amazing, it makes the person more physically attractive to me. Personally, I'm not into pretty boys.

You forgot sexual compatibility that many women want. :)

[MrKap]

Looks leave an instant impression.

Personality takes years to figure out.

So if we are comparing looks to personality in any way where speed of impression is required. No...

[mtmp5k]

When a female walks by a guy he doesn't think "wow she must have a nice personality I want to marry her"

Unattractive women are forced to develope nice personlities whereas the attractive ones don't need a personality as guys are buying them things left and right

Let's not be delusional here

[windforcexx28]

Interesting thread.

For me, personality matters much more than looks, so as long as the looks portion meets my threshold, I'd give them a chance.

[dakota2001]

When a female walks by a guy he doesn't think "wow she must have a nice personality I want to marry her"

Unattractive women are forced to develope nice personlities whereas the attractive ones don't need a personality as guys are buying them things left and right

Let's not be delusional here

Exactly! GUYS (Plural) are buying them things left and right, and they end up with a different guy every week, complaining why they can't find love! Personality lasts forever, looks can only hold for so long, until your bored of the lack of personality, or your frustration kicks in with how useless this person truly is! You can only stare at a picture for so long, but a movie with a great story can be watched over and over again for years!

[stealth]

Slow day at work so far. Having a debate with a female colleague.

I threw out a scenario to her. Who would she rather date? A guy that was a 3 out of 10 in terms of looks, but an 8 out of 10 in terms of personality. OR, a guy that was 3 out of 10 in terms of personality, but an 8 out of 10 in terms of personality. And she can't say neither.

She chose 3 out of 10 in terms of looks, but great personality. I called BS on her. True he may have a great personality, but can you really imagine yourself kissing a guy whose face looked like a workman's bench? And how would you not be grossed out about having to go to bed with him? Keeping in mind that this female colleague rates about a 7.5 out of 10 so it's not like she's pug fugly or anything.

So, my question to you noobs is: Can a winning personality trump hideous looks?

Discuss.


No, it's a balance. But 1 persons 3 is another persons 6.5.

[Mr.Sea]

I can't have sex with your personality.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0RIKHfwAhA

[spike1128]

Setell, you're a chick right? Hi, I'm diggler by the way.

So what you're saying is you wouldn't be grossed out by kissing/sleeping with a 3? I would say that there would have to be at least some sort of initial physical attraction otherwise you wouldn't even give the guy a chance. For example, your walking past a comic nerd convention. Out walks an Asian Shrek eating Kraft cheese singles from the wrapper and whose face looked like an abortion on toast. He accidentally bumps into you because he was reading a comic book price guide and wasn't watching where he was going. You two strike up a convo and he asks you out for a coffee. Personality seems great. Would you go?

If she is a 3 herself, then of course it makes sense.

The nerd has no chance, that`s reality.

[VintagePhick]

That's true. My wife is probably a 7.5 out of 10 but her parents look like rabid Asian Ewoks.

Lmao I just about died @ the bolded there bruh.

Most (83%) people are average. If a guy is ok looking and has what I deem to be a great personality he definitely becomes more attractive. If a guy looks like some sort of ewok, no matter how great his personality is it will never happen. If I'm not sexually attracted to you on any level, it's never happeneing.

[spike1128]

Money
Looks
Personality

There's no full preference but a weighting across the three. Someone who has a lot of money and is really nice, but looks like a troll will have problems.

Someone who looks like a model with a horrid personality and no money will get nowhere.

+1. I completely agree with you. It has to be the balance of the 3.

1) Money, but no looks or personality. If you got 1 billion, I am sure you can land a lot of girls. Look at those playboys in their 80s.
2) Looks, but no money or personality. The ladies will still want a piece of you, but that`s all after that night.
3) Personality, but no of the other two. You are technically screwed, because without the flash of cash and good look, your personality will not have a chance to surface.

You can look at it as money and looks are quite superficial and can be flashed around. And personality as something true.

And how does one know he makes 100k a year. You can see their lifestyle, such as what they do for a living, what car and house he is living and drives. etc etc.

Girls usually prefer the combination of the 3. I have known girls who are like an average of 6 themselves, but picks and choose and wants at least a 8. Then they don`t get anywhere with that. I think usually looks is the first one ppl look for first, because from experience. I know female friends who go into relationship with people who has looks, then realize they are somewhat poor and a bit of a mama`s boy, then she dumps them.

So I think I want looks first, then a equal mix of money and personality.

[Oscillator]

A couple of months ago, I made an account on pof, I had mostly half body shots, i had a few girls message me maybe once or twice a week within the first month to first two months. Some time last week, I posted a whole body shot of myself while on a boat, made it my profile picture and I have been getting messages every single day.


You made an account on POF? You really need to step up your game, man. The women on that site are 5's at best, and think they are 10's. Better off trying with a real 10 in real life.

[Corleone187]

It depends on the person you're asking obviously.

Is a pizza slice better than a hamburger?

Is blue a better color than red?

:facepalm:

[stealth]

If she is a 3 herself, then of course it makes sense.

The nerd has no chance, that`s reality.

Does anybody look in the mirror and say, " ya I guess I'm only a 3"?

Other than those with body dysmorphic disorder, prob everyone thinks they're at least a 6.5. So believing that, why would I date someone I consider to be a 3?

[Strategy]

And how does one know he makes 100k a year. You can see their lifestyle, such as what they do for a living, what car and house he is living and drives. etc etc.


but a girl can't see any of that when simply looking at a guy, that was my point

[the_fm]

but a girl can't see any of that when simply looking at a guy, that was my point

true but it's a lot more easier to tell (either through a couple of quick questions, by looking at them if they are the show off type or if they happen to be publicly known) than with personality

[spike1128]

true but it's a lot more easier to tell (either through a couple of quick questions, by looking at them if they are the show off type or if they happen to be publicly known) than with personality

That's why I said it. The three qualities are not mutually exclusive, but works more like layers. Looks, than money, than personality.

I got a friend who thinks he is at least a 8 looks, but then my girlfriends all think he is a 5. In terms of personality he was a 8, but then he got all superficial with money took a nosedive to 4. Went up from a 6 in money to a 8, and started dressing up. So no matter what he does, he is still a 5 in looks, so he never gets taken seriously by a girl before, just getting used. Now, he is not, cause he has money and became a Ahole. Looks like he is getting somewhere with that. So I guess having money is better than having a personality. Let see how fair the money gets him.

So to the OP, he is completely wrong. Looks trumps personality. Money trumps them both

[Tornado F2]

Money obviously does.

http://www.uglymales.com/wc/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/donald_trump.jpg

:lol:

[the_fm]

So I guess having money is better than having a personality.

people will do a lot of things just for money. as long as the well isn't getting dry

[Tornado F2]

people will do a lot of things just for money. as long as the well isn't getting dry

Look what happened when Charlie Sheen's well ran out. :lol:


Now he works in a Canadian Sears store. ;)

[DeimosBeros]

Looks will trump personality at some point, I think. It's biological for a woman, she will eventually want the best mate she can get so her children get the best genes pass down.

But if her survival depends on the security her "ugly" mate has to offer, she'll have to submit to that reality too. Money definitely screws with biology these days.

[mtmp5k]

looks fade, money doesnt

[Lunastarr]

Looks trumps personality.

I find this applies to men much, much more than women.

If you got money though - you'll win anyone over.

Sadly, I don't think I have either of the 3 so.../foreveralone.

[Agafaba]

Looks trumps personality.

I find this applies to men much, much more than women.

I wouldnt say so, maybe a little bit more but not to a huge extent.

[napoleon1769]

Never. The goal in life is to bang the hottest chick possible. A girl friend is only someone to keep you nether regions warm until someone better comes along.

[wolfkin]

Slow day at work so far. Having a debate with a female colleague.

I threw out a scenario to her. Who would she rather date? A guy that was a 3 out of 10 in terms of looks, but an 8 out of 10 in terms of personality. OR, a guy that was 3 out of 10 in terms of personality, but an 8 out of 10 in terms of personality. And she can't say neither.

She chose 3 out of 10 in terms of looks, but great personality. I called BS on her. True he may have a great personality, but can you really imagine yourself kissing a guy whose face looked like a workman's bench? And how would you not be grossed out about having to go to bed with him? Keeping in mind that this female colleague rates about a 7.5 out of 10 so it's not like she's pug fugly or anything.

So, my question to you noobs is: Can a winning personality trump hideous looks?

Discuss.The problem is that while she would certainly want the personality guy instead of the look guy. I honestly believe she would.

That means next to nothing. She's not going to look for him.

3/10 is bad sure but honestly if the person was really cool I think you could get by that. However, when you're talking first impression you'll never give that ugly person time to find out if they are cool or not. Maybe if you want to do the FourEyedMonster/Catfish thing and meet people online and never in person it might happen, but in reality the first thing you notice about a person is their looks.

The original question is "would you rather" and her answer is true. If you put that same scenario in a coffee shop say a crowded coffee shop and you have to pick one guy to sit next to the ugly guy (with a great personality) or the pretty guy (with a garbage personality) she's gonna sit with the pretty guy and if she says otherwise THEN she's lying. The problem with that is you can't see personality. Ugly people get treated badly and develop bad personalities. (or at least that's what we instinctively think)

Now what you could do is take the same coffee shop scenario, then say her best friend told her that the ugly guy is nice and the pretty guy is mean. Now ask her which one she sits next to. That's what you're trying to get to I think.

Me personally in this case I tend to be REALLY flexible on looks (i tend to apathy) so a 3 for me is really really bad. I'd sit next to the hot one.

[wachidarin]

I've dated and ugly dude before (who I thought was just ok to start with) but once I managed to get blinded by this puppy love it wasn't a factor.
It's only years later I realised what I mess I got myself into and my standards changed.

Dating someone with a great personality and ugly looks won't work in the long term, there's always that part of me that would be unsatisfied. It's also hard to be intimate.

I was also in a situation where the guy I dated put on a lot of weight and in my eyes his looks started to fade and I became less attracted. Even though shedding the pounds is a possibility, I couldn't withstand the time being with him.

[Drewis]

Funny you guys are talking about this..

I have a co worker at work, that I met about a year ago.. Never really talked to her, never thought she was attractive to me physically at all whatsoever, and I mean not in the slightest. I recently got to know her very well and suddenly her looks do not matter as much, if at all. This girl is extremely cool and fun to be around, her personality is amazing. I was/am just drawn to her. Suddenly I was extremely attracted to her.. I decided not to make a move and am trying to forget her in that way but she is all I think about.. Less and less now but you get the point.

This also has never happened to me before.. I know for a healthy relationship to work there HAS to be some form of physical attraction, I believe that a personality can create this, and therefore trumps looks, if you get that far.

Remember it only takes less then a second in your brain to decide if a person is attractive or not.

[peanutz]

I've dated and ugly dude before (who I thought was just ok to start with) but once I managed to get blinded by this puppy love it wasn't a factor.
It's only years later I realised what I mess I got myself into and my standards changed.Weird, that's exactly what happened to me too with that 3-4/10 guy I dated and with whom sex was icky.


Looks will trump personality at some point, I think. It's biological for a woman, she will eventually want the best mate she can get so her children get the best genes pass down.

But if her survival depends on the security her "ugly" mate has to offer, she'll have to submit to that reality too. Money definitely screws with biology these days."Best genes"? Well if personality includes intelligence, amicability, etc. then those may be good traits to pass on, too. Also, money and resources are another way of providing for and investing in offspring, so there is definitely a biological component to those instincts.

[PhillipJFry]

http://weburbanist.com/2009/02/07/hobovertising-hobo-signs/?ref=search

What about these fine men? They have plenty of personality.

[spike1128]

The girls here on this thread already answer that question. They would never do anything with a 3-4/10 kind of guy. It's very Icky.

Therefore Looks trumps Personality, OP got his answer.

[thrifthunter]

The girls here on this thread already answer that question. They would never do anything with a 3-4/10 kind of guy. It's very Icky.

Therefore Looks trumps Personality, OP got his answer.

And money trumps all.
A 1-2 suddenly becomes a 10 if he is a millionaire!

[Syne]

^ I don't think that's true. I think money might factor, but it will depend largely on the individual and age group. The younger the woman, the less money will matter, and the more strong and independent the woman, the less it will matter too.

[the_fm]

The younger the woman, the less money will matter

if you are butt ugly, yes, it wouldn't work. if you are average though and loaded, they'll flock to you

[Syne]

Nah, your average N. American 18-25 yo hottie doesn't care about money.

[the_fm]

Nah, your average N. American 18-25 yo hottie doesn't care about money.

they do but they won't date someone who's 30+ though (well, most of them)

take the facebook guy. they'll date him in a heartbeat

[blaznazn22]

i know for sure most girls will take perrsonality over appearance. Im not saying im ***** ugly and get chicks all the time, im saying ive seen some ugly dudes who have great personalities but have girls crawling all over them. My bro is one of those types, well hes not ugly, just a tall fat arse and he gets girls talking to him even when he doesn't want them to. Me on the other hand, I look better than my bro but my personality is a sewer, lol. Trust me he gets more girls talking to him in a day than id get in a month.

[paradigmGT3]

i know for sure most girls will take perrsonality over appearance. Im not saying im ***** ugly and get chicks all the time, im saying ive seen some ugly dudes who have great personalities but have girls crawling all over them. My bro is one of those types, well hes not ugly, just a tall fat arse and he gets girls talking to him even when he doesn't want them to. Me on the other hand, I look better than my bro but my personality is a sewer, lol. Trust me he gets more girls talking to him in a day than id get in a month.

A lot of it has to do with his height - height often can triumph a lot of other downfalls.

[thrifthunter]

^ I don't think that's true. I think money might factor, but it will depend largely on the individual and age group. The younger the woman, the less money will matter, and the more strong and independent the woman, the less it will matter too.

Nope, it's true.