unmotivated and depressed for years - any tips on help?

[murderer]

I want to start this off by saying this is in no means a troll post, but rather the actual truth and figured I would post here to seek advice. If others can tell me of more appropriate forums to join, I would be glad to know.

I have been depressed for years now because of a variety of issues triggered initially because I lost my core group of friends around the age of 20 and was outcasted socially. I ended up leaving university after my first try right out of highschool and started working.

Life turned around for the better after I worked for many years, but I felt like it wasn't complete without a degree under my belt. I decided to go back to university and was VERY focused. I studied in the library on friday evenings and saturday evenings which was unheard of before for me. I did well, and had a good GPA. In my second year, I failed a course which I was told I could retake at another university to avoid going behind - turns out my chair of student affairs lied to me when I showed him the equivalent class that I would take, and denied me - this caused me to go behind by 1 year, and that is where my current depression starts.

Since then I have been very depressed knowing I will have to spend an extra year in school and as stupid as this may sound, it has caused me to lose focus on even finishing my degree in 5 years, if ever at all (my school is now telling me I should take the rest of the year off and forfeit courses I am enrolled in because of my mental health). I am completely unmotivated and depressed, and sleep all day whiles I am up all night thinking. I ususally avoid people and invites to go out, as I tell them I have to study but in reality I just sit home and do nothing. I have had a very understanding and caring girlfriend, but I am not happy with her. I always looked at friends as people that were supposed to be there through thick and thin - but the people I surround myself are no where near that - they are around for good times, but when the bad times strike I definitely cannot rely on them. My parents are not understanding at all - their whole thing is "hurry up and finish school so you can start earning and we don't have to worry about you anymore". I have also been seeing a psychiatrist for months on an almost weekly basis but he hasn't helped at all.

I managed to lose most of my savings in the stock market as well, and have little money left. I feel trapped and no matter what I do doesn't make me feel better. I stopped working out and have been packing on weight.

How the hell do I get out of this funk? I do not want to go another year behind in school but it seems inevitable - I tried to tell my school councellor that if they force me to take the year off that I will be even more depressed and unmotivated.

EDIT: I have also been seeing a psychiatrist almost weekly for the past few months, but he hasn't helped much.

[sandikosh]

Drop everything and see the world. Then you will realise that there are people who are in a worse position than you are right now. Then you will feel blessed that there are people like your parents and your girlfriend that actually care about you. That is when you return the favour and enjoy life.

[ali123]

Step 1 - Ignore what people around you care and think since they don't care about you anyways
Step 2 - Have a goal to look forward to (ex. what you want to happen when your done school)
Step 3 - If your not happy with your gf dump her
Step 4 - Go back to the gym and start working hard towards your goal
Step 5 - Develop a massive ego and use it to get girls
Step 6 - Find a best friend

[aplayaz2000]

you got a gf bud, a lot of us don't

[anyasok]

you got a gf bud, a lot of us don't
I disagree with this completely as it implies that having a gf automatically makes someone happier than someone in an equivalent situation but without a gf

"To wisely live your life, you don't need to know much
Just rememeber two main rules for the beginning:
You better starve, than eat whatever
And better be alone, than with whoever"

Omar Khayam

[ji2o0k]

man, is it just me or does the OP's name worry anyone? Given his current state?


OP: You shouldn't worry so much about the time to finish your degree....kudos to you in going back to school to finish it (as I think that is a major accomplishment that no one can take away) but don't worry yourself about the timeline to complete the degree.

If you have to forfeit the rest of the year, then do that. Or maybe consider doing part-time studies so that your mind isn't depressed about not doing any courses and then you can take it easy, either find a part-time job or take some short trips.

It sounds like your gf is pretty good to you. What is about her that you don't like? She sounds like she cares about you and wants the best for you. You have to decide if she is a good friend or a good girlfriend. There has to be an attraction, you have to be attracted to her..and there has to be romance.

If you don't think there is, then you have to tell her.

Life is a journey OP, not a destination. You have to enjoy the ride and see that there are things in life that should stress you out (ill family member etc) and there are things that you shouldn't sweat. The completion of your degree and the timeline isn't something that you should be stressed out about.

You should be enjoying this time and soaking in the experience. Because once it passes and you start working full-time, it is a whole different world.

[eldiablo]

Seeking serious help in this fashion is nuts. Get yourself to a psychotherapist. The first thing about depression is admitting that you have an illness and second is seeking professional help. Stay away from public forums. Good luck and hope you get help.

[diggler649]

Everything in life happens for a reason. And everything always works out in the end. No matter how bleak things became, this was always the case for me.

You will be a stronger person down the road by going through this ball of s#!t right now.

[particleman]

One year does not sound that bad. Life is long, one year is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things. I am surprised your University doesn't offer summer courses or anything. Try not to worry about it too much, there are probably going to be other bumps along the road in life and in University, in the end it this might not be the only course you need the 5th year for. I have to admit though, University was the most depressing time in my life too. There is pressure to do well, in my case I had moved to new city for the first time and knew no one, and all the while you are racking up student loans. Life after University is far less stressful IMO.

Try to use that as your motivation, University sucks, but if you rough it out for 4-5 years, things get better.

[MrKap]

unmotivated and depressed for years - any tips on help?

Get off the medication, unless you are on heavy anti-psychotics. Also remember that the more you drink, the more your brain is going to shrivel up, causing even more depression.

You can also go volunteer somewhere to get yourself more active.

That is all.

[wszeto28]

Start accepting the invites to go out and try to keep your mind occupied. The more you stay home to dwell on your current situation, the worser it gets.

If it makes you feel better, it took me 5 years to finish school as well (and most of my friends).

[vero95]

watch yes man. it may give you some clues

[t3359]

I think different methods work for different people. Some people keep themselves occupied to stop thinking about the situation, others need a change of environment, others need to face it head-on to deal with it. The first method doesn't really work with me as I tend to just end up in the same situation during my down time. I ended up taking a few days in solitude in the middle of nowhere hiking around, taking photos of things, doing creative writing, reading newspapers, etc... stuff I don't normally do. Anyway, took a while but I got out of it. I guess the situation was slightly different, but I figured I'd share.

For smaller situations, I used to blow money on tons of CDs (usually heavy metal) and then work out at the gym with them full-blast.

Good luck with things.

bjl

[Maymybonneliveforever]

Although you may not want to hear this right now, you're not the only person that has had what you believe to be "major setbacks". I'm sure you're familiar with the term "the glass is half full", well it truly is. Members have mentioned already that there are people that have it far worse, for eg. there are people that have lost there lifes saving at age 65, your glass is half full since you're young enough that you can make up what you lost 100 times over. You are young and have your physical health, so that way I see it, you're very lucky.

Let me ask you a question would you rather have a wife and son and a newborn and your wife just left you and ya just lost your job. Now you have to motivate yourself to find a job so you can find a place to live and your kids are relying on you for child support. It happens more often than you think and I'd have to say, your life is looking pretty good compared to them.


Set your set new realistic goals that you feel will inspire you to move on with your life and only you can make it happen. Whether you believe it or not, luck is on your side and "Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life".

[Lazy Susan]

There has been evidence to suggest the psilocybin helps to cure depression.

[danfromwaterloo]

I want to start this off by saying this is in no means a troll post, but rather the actual truth and figured I would post here to seek advice. If others can tell me of more appropriate forums to join, I would be glad to know.

I have been depressed for years now because of a variety of issues triggered initially because I lost my core group of friends around the age of 20 and was outcasted socially. I ended up leaving university after my first try right out of highschool and started working.

Life turned around for the better after I worked for many years, but I felt like it wasn't complete without a degree under my belt. I decided to go back to university and was VERY focused. I studied in the library on friday evenings and saturday evenings which was unheard of before for me. I did well, and had a good GPA. In my second year, I failed a course which I was told I could retake at another university to avoid going behind - turns out my chair of student affairs lied to me when I showed him the equivalent class that I would take, and denied me - this caused me to go behind by 1 year, and that is where my current depression starts.

Since then I have been very depressed knowing I will have to spend an extra year in school and as stupid as this may sound, it has caused me to lose focus on even finishing my degree in 5 years, if ever at all (my school is now telling me I should take the rest of the year off and forfeit courses I am enrolled in because of my mental health). I am completely unmotivated and depressed, and sleep all day whiles I am up all night thinking. I ususally avoid people and invites to go out, as I tell them I have to study but in reality I just sit home and do nothing. I have had a very understanding and caring girlfriend, but I am not happy with her. I always looked at friends as people that were supposed to be there through thick and thin - but the people I surround myself are no where near that - they are around for good times, but when the bad times strike I definitely cannot rely on them. My parents are not understanding at all - their whole thing is "hurry up and finish school so you can start earning and we don't have to worry about you anymore". I have also been seeing a psychiatrist for months on an almost weekly basis but he hasn't helped at all.

I managed to lose most of my savings in the stock market as well, and have little money left. I feel trapped and no matter what I do doesn't make me feel better. I stopped working out and have been packing on weight.

How the hell do I get out of this funk? I do not want to go another year behind in school but it seems inevitable - I tried to tell my school councellor that if they force me to take the year off that I will be even more depressed and unmotivated.

EDIT: I have also been seeing a psychiatrist almost weekly for the past few months, but he hasn't helped much.

Simply: man up.

Life is hard. It sucks at times, but those who work through it, succeed.

I think it's only natural that people go through bouts of depression, especially when you're in your late teens and early twenties, but you have to learn how to handle the depression and succeed in spite of it.

As children, many of us are unfamiliar with failure and dissappointment. Schools nowadays are so dumbed down that high schools regularly graduate people with high-90 averages. Then, when they go off to school, people cannot handle the fact that university-level subjects are HARD. Things that require real work. So they fail, and often, it's the first time they've ever failed. They don't know how to cope. Especially when you start to heap upon that the disappointment of parents, and the fact we've been spoon-fed propaganda since birth that a university education is the only way to ever be a success.

There are two types of depression: those who cannot help it and require medication to remedy it, and those who have been mentally wounded and need to recover. Sounds to me like you're the latter. You originally thought that life would be a cakewalk; that a university degree would be as easy as a high school diploma, and that you likely already had your entire life mapped out. Graduate by 22, 100K by 25, hot wife by 27, kids by 30, etc. You tried to run before you learned to walk. Now, you've been thrown for a loop because things aren't going to turn out exactly as you planned. So what. Suck it up. The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Stop making benchmarks. Focus on the present. You'll never live up to the plans you've set out for yourself - and you likely won't live up to the next plans, or the ones after either, as things will always conspire to ensure they don't happen.

Live life in the present. Focus on what you're doing. Do it in good time, and let things happen in due course.

[Corleone187]

Motivation? Gotta stay hungry, stay foolish :D

Everyone feel sad sometimes I guess...but some people too hungry (literally) to be sad or depressed cause when you're hungry it forces you to have to live


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=129kuDCQtHs

[ji2o0k]

You originally thought that life would be a cakewalk; that a university degree would be as easy as a high school diploma, and that you likely already had your entire life mapped out.

Graduate by 22, $100K by 25, hot wife by 27, kids by 30, etc. wait a sec...you mean that isn't going to happen?!?

Lies man, lies!! Stop telling lies! That is my goal, I expect to make six figures when I graduate and my wife will be hot...she will be!!

Book it!!! :lol:

[danfromwaterloo]

wait a sec...you mean that isn't going to happen?!?

Lies man, lies!! Stop telling lies! That is my goal, I expect to make six figures when I graduate and my wife will be hot...she will be!!

Book it!!! :lol:

You'd be absolutely shocked at how damaging those plans can be when (not if) things don't work out.

In our adolescence, we magically assume that our future is easy and the road is clear. When there's a bump in the road, and those plans cannot be realized, people get suicidal.

Those plans are the crutches many of us use to get by in high school. We're not the jocks who were popular in school and got all the women. We weren't the cool kids that lived the dream. When things got rough, we clung to the promises of the future, one we were sure would vindicate all the sh*tty times in high school. That girl didn't like you? Oh well, I'll be successful and she'll miss out. That guy bullying you? He'll work for me someday. The future is the security blanket we relied on to get us by. When that future dissolves, we have nothing to hold on to. That's precisely why setbacks like this are so traumatic.

FWIW, I had similar problems a decade ago, and I felt the same anguish. Things today are bright and sunny. I think it's my duty to help those in the same situation I was in, because it was so incredibly disappointing.

[murderer]

Thanks for putting it in perspective everyone. And danfromwaterloo has hit the nail on the head - future was always a security blanket, and when it didn't go as planned a lot of things came crashing down. I am already doing my degree in 5 years and it is looking like it will now take me a 6th year - for this alone I feel like a massive loser especially given my age.

The other issue aside from my future, is the entire time growing up through elementary and highschool, I put a lot of trust and importance on friendship. When that failed me, I felt betrayed and alone - this is what caused my depression and inability to focus on things like studying.

[jillaryit]

watch yes man. it may give you some clues

Maybe ops really should watch this. Great movie and might be what you need.

[Agafaba]

You'd be absolutely shocked at how damaging those plans can be when (not if) things don't work out.

In our adolescence, we magically assume that our future is easy and the road is clear. When there's a bump in the road, and those plans cannot be realized, people get suicidal.

Those plans are the crutches many of us use to get by in high school. We're not the jocks who were popular in school and got all the women. We weren't the cool kids that lived the dream. When things got rough, we clung to the promises of the future, one we were sure would vindicate all the sh*tty times in high school. That girl didn't like you? Oh well, I'll be successful and she'll miss out. That guy bullying you? He'll work for me someday. The future is the security blanket we relied on to get us by. When that future dissolves, we have nothing to hold on to. That's precisely why setbacks like this are so traumatic.

FWIW, I had similar problems a decade ago, and I felt the same anguish. Things today are bright and sunny. I think it's my duty to help those in the same situation I was in, because it was so incredibly disappointing.

Couldnt have described it any better myself. Went through the same thing myself (well technically still going through) between losing my job, a manipulative girlfriend and OSAP payments for classes I was never able to attend I was loaded with debt, poor and depressed. I am still poor and loaded with debt, but slowly paying it off instead of collection agency threats has helped tremendously. An extra year sucks, but as long as you keep moving forward it makes little difference in the long run.

[Lazy Susan]

Thanks for putting it in perspective everyone. And danfromwaterloo has hit the nail on the head - future was always a security blanket, and when it didn't go as planned a lot of things came crashing down. I am already doing my degree in 5 years and it is looking like it will now take me a 6th year - for this alone I feel like a massive loser especially given my age.

The other issue aside from my future, is the entire time growing up through elementary and highschool, I put a lot of trust and importance on friendship. When that failed me, I felt betrayed and alone - this is what caused my depression and inability to focus on things like studying.

Just don't go buying a gun, murderer.

[UrbanPoet]

Depression is an uphill battle.

From here on out you must empower yourself and surround yourself with as many support systems as you can.

You said your gf is supportive, but you aren't happy with her. Thats one possible support system, although (bf/gf type of things can get volatile).
There are other support groups in the community that you can seek.

The only way for people to get out of real depression is through a proper support system of family, friends, peers, the community, and at times even the state (through social service agencies). Although you seem like you haven't gone to that level yet, you could most likely find these things yourself. The problem is finding positive people in your life. LAst but not least... It also requires your own will power.

You're lucky in that your depression is caused by things you can easily control. Remember that you have the power to change.

[aaronl3e7]

I knew that feel bro.

I think you should find something to work towards (further down the road than school).
For me, the change came when I started hanging out with a better group of friends.
I looked at their lives and have determined how I wanted mine to be (how I wanted to live, the kind of person I wanted to be, and stuff like that).
They served as role models, and drove me forward. I was much happier when I realized I was making progress towards the goals I had set for myself.
You are lucky you have a girlfriend that cares about you, when I went through this I had no one. I can tell you that a little support would have gone a long way.

but that's just my 2 cents.

[YLSF]

One thing I would highly recommend is to get back to the gym or start running or other excercise. I think this should be your first step as you really do feel an endorphin rush when you work out (you know, the "runner's high", etc). If you are feeling physically better you will also feel mentally better.

Re: your psychiatrist, maybe you should think about talking to another one if the current one isn't helping you. Have you told your current one that what he/she is doing isn't helping? Are you on meds? Have you tried Cognitive Behaviour Therapy? Heard a lot of good things about it.

Also, maybe what you have isn't depression but maybe the main issue is something else causing you to feel depressed. For example, read up on ADHD and see if any symptoms match up with what you are feeling. ADHD is often misdiagnosed as depression in later life if it wasn't diagnosed at an early age.

[EmperorOfCanada]

Thanks for putting it in perspective everyone. And danfromwaterloo has hit the nail on the head - future was always a security blanket, and when it didn't go as planned a lot of things came crashing down. I am already doing my degree in 5 years and it is looking like it will now take me a 6th year - for this alone I feel like a massive loser especially given my age.

The other issue aside from my future, is the entire time growing up through elementary and highschool, I put a lot of trust and importance on friendship. When that failed me, I felt betrayed and alone - this is what caused my depression and inability to focus on things like studying.

This may be easier said than done, but make an actual effort to focus on your accomplishments, not your failures. Make an effort to think of all the things you have, not the things you dont have. Perhaps a little (or a lot) cliche, but as the saying goes "It's not how many times you get knocked down; it's how many times you get back up.”. Its only a failure if you give up.

[rommelrommel]

Thanks for putting it in perspective everyone. And danfromwaterloo has hit the nail on the head - future was always a security blanket, and when it didn't go as planned a lot of things came crashing down. I am already doing my degree in 5 years and it is looking like it will now take me a 6th year - for this alone I feel like a massive loser especially given my age.

The other issue aside from my future, is the entire time growing up through elementary and highschool, I put a lot of trust and importance on friendship. When that failed me, I felt betrayed and alone - this is what caused my depression and inability to focus on things like studying.

Not to say go quit your AD meds right now, I needed them at a point in my life, but getting off of them was the best thing I ever did. I was just a unmotivated zombie on them.

[spike1128]

Get over it Op. My friend from waterloo graduated at 8th year. Almost got booted out of the program and needed to start over. He did 7 coop terms. Doesn't bothered him one bit.

Life doesn't have to suck. It is what you make of it.

[hybridfx2]

If you're really in pain then the two best things are:

1) Travel - leaving your comfort zone and truly finding yourself
2) Going to the gym - like one poster said if you are in good physical shape it will lead to a good mental state

other than that,

We all go through this op. I'm 19 years old and kinda going through the same thing. I feel like I'm finally seeing the world for what it is. When I was in high school I had a whole different world view. I was the king in high school: basketball team, girlfriends, parties, drugs, while still being at the top of my class and had mommy and daddy paying for everything.

All that means ****. In high school i lived off of my reputation. Now? I work a 9-5 job (co-op) and I cant act how I've grown accustom to in High School. I cant speak in slang anymore. I cant swear after every word now. I have to learn a whole new sense of humour.

I feel like I've lost who I am. It feels like this charismatic person I was in HS is gone and I'm just an 'average' person now.

Remember, life's a process, there are no rules and there are no guidelines.
Time passes, things change, people grow.
We all end up in the same place in the end, so have fun while you're here.

[Becks]

I think the first step is to do cardio. Every one here should be doing this as part of their life routine/maintenance. It is an attainable goal to do cardio every two days. When you are jogging, it is like spending quality time with yourself. You don't really have the usual distractions, and you can even try practising meditation while you're huffing and puffing.

Listening to music can also affect mood. Maybe try listening to dance music?

Yes, it sucks when you can't depend on your friends or family for support. Not everyone is that lucky. I think that, ultimately, you have to rely on yourself. You start by being your best friend. If you think that you're a loser for taking 5 or 6 years to get a degree, you have to challenge your negative thoughts and beliefs. Does this mean that, if you meet a nice person who took 8 years to finish their degree, that you are going to look down on them? Isn't there more to being a good person than how long it took them to finish a degree? What type of person with what kind of ego needs to judge others like that? So, why judge yourself like that?

If you're not interested in your gf, then you should break up. It's not fair to the other person. Let them know the situation. They need to move on with their life.

Try and set attainable goals that would make you happy. For example, it could be to learn how to cook. So, maybe try out a new recipe each week or every two weeks. As time goes by, you will have gotten to know new ingredients, where to buy these ingredients, etc., and you can even invite a date over for something to eat. Every step to attaining a goal involves learning something new. Just by doing that, you're keeping your brain healthy because it is making new connections.

If you don't want to do anything, they say that taking a walk in nature can be uplifting.

[LaserEnvy]

Been there done that. You just need enough willpower to keep going and actively try to improve your life. If you keep working at it, things will even out. It is the ones with self-defeatist attitudes or don't try and wallow in self pity that never pull themselves out of a funk.

EDIT: Also, exercise is essential. The endorphins will help improve your mood. Healthy body for a healthy mind.

[pchi]

If you can't go to school for a year, I'd suggest you get out of the house instead of wasting your life away. Get out there and explore your options whether it's getting a job, volunteering your time, or even travelling. Maybe, it's time for a mental break then going full speed to just finish your degree. If your physcologist isn't doing nothing for you, stop wasting your money on them. Go catch up with a friend instead or even a stranger on Craigslist. Who knows what you may find...

Good for ya on finishing your degree, I never did and regret it lots. I just don't have that big motivation like you did before. Think about it, everyone has regrets in their lifes. You're not alone. Good luck and take cares.

[steve-0101]

If you can't go to school for a year, I'd suggest you get out of the house instead of wasting your life away. Get out there and explore your options whether it's getting a job, volunteering your time, or even travelling. Maybe, it's time for a mental break then going full speed to just finish your degree. If your physcologist isn't doing nothing for you, stop wasting your money on them. Go catch up with a friend instead or even a stranger on Craigslist. Who knows what you may find...

Good for ya on finishing your degree, I never did and regret it lots. I just don't have that big motivation like you did before. Think about it, everyone has regrets in their lifes. You're not alone. Good luck and take cares.

What?

[anyasok]

What?
lol classic :D I liked the craigslist suggestion the best. I nominate it for the best suggestion ever :)

[windforcexx28]

Get over it Op. My friend from waterloo graduated at 8th year. Almost got booted out of the program and needed to start over. He did 7 coop terms. Doesn't bothered him one bit.

Life doesn't have to suck. It is what you make of it.

Holy !@#$... and I thought I was in school for a long time already.

Anyways, I'm in my '5th year' right now and tbh, it doesn't really affect me that much. Sure, most of the ppl you know have already graduated and are making good $$$ but life is not a race. When I was the uneducated student back in my first yr, I vow to finish my degree in 4 years and move on, but over time the way I saw things changed. To me, education is an opportunity for you to learn more things that you wouldn't have been able to if you didn't take your time to do so. What I encourage you to do is to put yourself back on track, and stay healthy (i.e. work out, eat well, get enough sleep, etc.)

Seeing how I'll probably end up working for decades after graduating, I'd rather stay in school and enjoy the life as a student for a few more years :D It's really not that bad :)

[M-e-X-x]

I am slowly getting out of my funk. First step is to truly admit to yourself you are depressed. Next, support systems are absolutely vital. I found my original support systems (friends from University) to be inadequate. They weren't really helpful at all and actually made me more depressed. The reason was because they'd talk about work work work and such when I hung out with them. I didn't have a job at the time and when I did get a job, it was a job that I took because I needed the money. Needless to say, it paid crap and it wasn't permanent so it made things worse. I was just a quiet person around my friends (people that know me know I'm not quiet :lol:) and angry about life and the PLAN. Everything pretty much changed last month actually. I started hanging out with a friend I now consider to be one of my closest friends even though we didn't hang out that much ever since meeting them more than a year ago. They are wise in life experiences and such and again although I didn't hang with them much, I was able to confide in them about the depression and such. We now talk practically everyday and hang out almost once a week if not more. They became a REAL support system. The best advice they told me was to f*ck the PLAN. danfromwaterloo's comment makes total sense. The safety blanket is the PLAN we all follow, the rat race, or whatever you wanna call it. Have a house by this age, be a manager by that age, get married by this age, etc. Why care about that? It's the PLAN that really screws us over. After giving the finger to the PLAN, I felt more free and things started to change. I just started a new position that pays better after slaving away for more than a year at my old job and not getting the respect or recognition I deserved. I admit I did almost relapse, but that's where the REAL support system comes in to really keep you in line.

I'm slowly telling friends what I've gone through, admitting the depression. I was afraid before because I didn't want them to worry or see me differently. Now, I realize if they truly are good friends, they will stand by me no matter what. If not, then you know who they truly are and that there's other individuals out there in this world that are better fit as friends.

[Deadmau555]

Smoke some weed.

[kingrukus]

OP, I am going through something similar - went back to school pretty late in my 20s and it has been a huge adjustment being a poor student vs having a decent income job prior and living life relatively care-free. It is very tough, but you seemed to have adjusted well in your first year seeing as you pulled off good grades then. I know I would be devistated to have to stay longer than I need to seeing as I already consider myself old - but as others have mentioned in the grand scheme of things an extra year or even two isn't big if it means you will live a better life for the rest of your life.

And forget friends who drag you down, unsupportive, and trying to keep up with the Jones' - it isn't worth a damn to rely on such people. Keep a close support group of family, girlfriend, etc and rely on them - when the time comes you will have your moment to shine. Keep your head up man. Try to look for the good in your situation - not having to wake up for a 9-5 job, not having to deal with office politics, not having to answer to a boss. In Canada it is great to be a student - we have relatively cheap tuition, and social programs exist to make the poor student's lifestyle quite decent if needed. Sometimes I consider myself lucky to be a student now rather than working in this economy, especially in the private sector when somedays you don't know if you will be next on the chopping block. Cherish these moments - there probably won't be any other time that you have the ability to wake up whenever you want to and just go for random walks in the middle of the day, and stare / chat with young hot chicks at school (where there are so many!).

[Troodon]

You need to get focused.

Ask yourself what ONE thing you really want in life and focus on that. Once you start getting focused then you wouldn't have time feeling depresesd...

[hagbard]

There has been evidence to suggest the psilocybin helps to cure depression.

I was just going to recommend LSD under supervised conditions ('set and setting'). Of course, this will never be allowed on a large scale as its a threat to the useless drugs pushed on the public by the pharmaceutical companies. Laws are there to protect the monied special interests, not the people.

[vlado416]

I want to start this off by saying this is in no means a troll post, but rather the actual truth and figured I would post here to seek advice. If others can tell me of more appropriate forums to join, I would be glad to know.

I have been depressed for years now because of a variety of issues triggered initially because I lost my core group of friends around the age of 20 and was outcasted socially. I ended up leaving university after my first try right out of highschool and started working.

Life turned around for the better after I worked for many years, but I felt like it wasn't complete without a degree under my belt. I decided to go back to university and was VERY focused. I studied in the library on friday evenings and saturday evenings which was unheard of before for me. I did well, and had a good GPA. In my second year, I failed a course which I was told I could retake at another university to avoid going behind - turns out my chair of student affairs lied to me when I showed him the equivalent class that I would take, and denied me - this caused me to go behind by 1 year, and that is where my current depression starts.

Since then I have been very depressed knowing I will have to spend an extra year in school and as stupid as this may sound, it has caused me to lose focus on even finishing my degree in 5 years, if ever at all (my school is now telling me I should take the rest of the year off and forfeit courses I am enrolled in because of my mental health). I am completely unmotivated and depressed, and sleep all day whiles I am up all night thinking. I ususally avoid people and invites to go out, as I tell them I have to study but in reality I just sit home and do nothing. I have had a very understanding and caring girlfriend, but I am not happy with her. I always looked at friends as people that were supposed to be there through thick and thin - but the people I surround myself are no where near that - they are around for good times, but when the bad times strike I definitely cannot rely on them. My parents are not understanding at all - their whole thing is "hurry up and finish school so you can start earning and we don't have to worry about you anymore". I have also been seeing a psychiatrist for months on an almost weekly basis but he hasn't helped at all.

I managed to lose most of my savings in the stock market as well, and have little money left. I feel trapped and no matter what I do doesn't make me feel better. I stopped working out and have been packing on weight.

How the hell do I get out of this funk? I do not want to go another year behind in school but it seems inevitable - I tried to tell my school councellor that if they force me to take the year off that I will be even more depressed and unmotivated.

EDIT: I have also been seeing a psychiatrist almost weekly for the past few months, but he hasn't helped much.


What are your addictions?
I know how you feel and I have figured out that any type of supernatural and easy to obtain stimulant gives one a quick boost but long term depression and lack of motivation.
It's tied mostly to modernism, lack of community and human touch, lack of natural connections and all the pitfalls of free market where people get emotionally lost.
These natural stimulants are essential for mental health but they are lacking today so this leads to depression and the need for super stimulation which only deepens the depression. All these other things are just scapegoats.

[peanutz]

I'm 19 years old and kinda going through the same thing. I feel like I'm finally seeing the world for what it is. When I was in high school I had a whole different world view. I was the king in high school: basketball team, girlfriends, parties, drugs, while still being at the top of my class and had mommy and daddy paying for everything.

All that means ****. In high school i lived off of my reputation. Now? I work a 9-5 job (co-op) and I cant act how I've grown accustom to in High School. I cant speak in slang anymore. I cant swear after every word now. I have to learn a whole new sense of humour.

I feel like I've lost who I am. It feels like this charismatic person I was in HS is gone and I'm just an 'average' person now.

Remember, life's a process, there are no rules and there are no guidelines.
Time passes, things change, people grow.
We all end up in the same place in the end, so have fun while you're here.Your story reminds me of my BF, but luckily at the least he has managed to keep his core group of friends close.


You'd be absolutely shocked at how damaging those plans can be when (not if) things don't work out.

In our adolescence, we magically assume that our future is easy and the road is clear.That's because optimism is a beautiful trait and may adolescents persevere in keeping that.


When there's a bump in the road, and those plans cannot be realized, people get suicidal.Only those who have never had to contend with some difficulty or challenge...the ones who are not armed with any tools or confidence to overcome obstacles. That is very unfortunate when it happens.


I want to start this off by saying this is in no means a troll post, but rather the actual truth and figured I would post here to seek advice. If others can tell me of more appropriate forums to join, I would be glad to know.

I have been depressed for years now because of a variety of issues triggered initially because I lost my core group of friends around the age of 20 and was outcasted socially. I ended up leaving university after my first try right out of highschool and started working.First of all, I had a similar thing happen to me, except it was in grade 7 when I suddenly lost my core group of friends, by some coincidences. (e.g. Liz's family moved to Texas; Christine and Sabrina went to a different middle school, Rachael was a year younger and stayed with the gifted grades 4-5-6 class.) If you've ever seen Mean Girls, I was the outsider girl who had to adjust quickly and become part of a new clique. Thing is, they were actually nice to and accepting of me, but I never really felt myself around them and I became withdrawn and depressed (and my depression is tinged with anger. I don't know why. I am an angry depressive.) This was happening when I was 12-13 years old. My parents were oblivious because my grades didn't suffer.

You made a great decision to work after your first year of uni not going well for you.


Life turned around for the better after I worked for many years, but I felt like it wasn't complete without a degree under my belt. I decided to go back to university and was VERY focused. I studied in the library on friday evenings and saturday evenings which was unheard of before for me. I did well, and had a good GPA. In my second year, I failed a course which I was told I could retake at another university to avoid going behind - turns out my chair of student affairs lied to me when I showed him the equivalent class that I would take, and denied me - this caused me to go behind by 1 year, and that is where my current depression starts.I see a clue here but let's keep going...


Since then I have been very depressed knowing I will have to spend an extra year in school and as stupid as this may sound, it has caused me to lose focus on even finishing my degree in 5 years, if ever at all (my school is now telling me I should take the rest of the year off and forfeit courses I am enrolled in because of my mental health).Ok, now you're back to where you were before. Take another year off, or recoup, focus, and finish school, man.


I am completely unmotivated and depressed, and sleep all day whiles I am up all night thinking. I ususally avoid people and invites to go out, as I tell them I have to study but in reality I just sit home and do nothing.I've done all these things. Luckily I'm easily distracted and found my alone-home mopey time enjoyable. Doesn't lift the depression, but at least let me be amused while depressed.


I have had a very understanding and caring girlfriend, but I am not happy with her. I always looked at friends as people that were supposed to be there through thick and thin - but the people I surround myself are no where near that - they are around for good times, but when the bad times strike I definitely cannot rely on them.Does that include your GF??? Anyway, perhaps you should break up with her (if she is OK with it.) For her sake. If you are not offering her much, you need to be kind enough to let her go unless she truly still wants to be with you. Also, something I learned early on in my life of being with "friends" I wasn't close to (in grade 7) - don't rely on other people as much as you can rely on yourself.

When I'm feeling down, I actually seek isolation, even to this day. I don't want to afflict anyone else with the downer. My current friends are very sweet and know me well enough, that when I go into "hibernation" it's because I'm trying to deal with my own stuff, and definitely not because I don't care about them or miss being around them.

Likewise, don't be so hard on others for not being around you when times are tough. They have their own lives to live. In addition, don't blame your student affairs rep and say he "lied" to you. Likely he did NOT "lie" to you; far more likely that he was simply mistaken. What was most in YOUR POWER was in not failing the course to begin with. It is your fault for being in that predicament and it was never in someone else's hands to fish you out. It was nice to hope, but it turned out not to be. No matter, you brought it on yourself, so pick yourself back up and try your best to improve on your situation.

This has been my observation of people who are perpetually and deeply depressed (outside of chemical imbalances.) They collapse under their circumstances or environment rather than empowering themselves as being agents of change.


My parents are not understanding at all - their whole thing is "hurry up and finish school so you can start earning and we don't have to worry about you anymore"Your parents are probably blind and kinda dumb in this dimension, just as my parents (chiefly my mother) was when I was depressed. They probably don't know you are depressed. Minimize contact with them until you sort this thing out.


I stopped working out and have been packing on weight.So start working out again. Sorry to hear about your savings, but at least the weather is starting to get nice and you don't need a gym membership. I have found that little improvements in any area encourage improvements elsewhere. :)

GL buddy, we're not alike and our lives are different, but I feel like I can relate at least a little.

[Insider]

OP you sound like some guy I once knew. ditched all his friends, spends all his time at home, 'studying', and working.

just a shame people have to feel this way. time to man up.

[ji2o0k]

peanutz sounds like a girl I know....but the girl I know doesn't have a bf (at least not that I am aware of)...I wonder......lol.......

[peanutz]

peanutz sounds like a girl I know....but the girl I know doesn't have a bf (at least not that I am aware of)...I wonder......lol.......Really? Haven't met a gal quite like myself. Tell me more about her, I'm interested.

[ji2o0k]

Really? Haven't met a gal quite like myself. Tell me more about her, I'm interested.sure, sounds good...

We should best discuss this over a cup of coffee at a local coffeeshop..... or a few cold bevies on a nice patio somewhere...;)

[peanutz]

sure, sounds good...

We should best discuss this over a cup of coffee at a local coffeeshop..... or a few cold bevies on a nice patio somewhere...;)I have a better idea: Make her join RFD!

[ji2o0k]

I have a better idea: Make her join RFD!Hhahaha nooooo...then worlds will be colliding!!

[peanutz]

Hhahaha nooooo...then worlds will be colliding!!:D It could be a good collision. You can have the honour of being the catalyst.

[longitude]

MXE is good for depression.

[hagbard]

DMT is supposed to be good as well. Look for the documentary DMT, the Spirit Molecule.

[longitude]

DMT is supposed to be good as well. Look for the documentary DMT, the Spirit Molecule.

Tryptamines are too trippy.

[007craft]

if you truly cared about curing your depression you would try my below advice, as its simple and wont hurt to try. Its an actual working method on beating depression which works for everybody.

Solution: Smoke weed (you only need to do this once). at least 4-5 big inhales. Once high, you will fell good and notice you are not depressed anymore, at that moment. Start thinking about why you are not depressed. You will then discover what you want and what you need to do in order to not be depressed (weather that means droping out of school, building something, moving, etc etc). Dont listen to what anybody says here, or what you think you know right now. Get high, and figure it out, and trust yourself only. There is no need to make any drastic life changes based on what people tell you or to take any drugs/medication.

PS. Listen to some familiar feel good music you have heard several times before, while you are high and thinking. It will help.

[peanutz]

(weather that means droping out of school, building something, moving, etc etc).So inteligent and manley


Dont listen to what anybody says here, or what you think you know right now.Oh, the irony.


if you truly cared about curing your depression you would try my below advice