Best friends with an ex?

[Troodon]

I'm dating a girl and she says her best friend is her ex. They talk everyday and she still has feelings for him. I'm not comfortable with the fact that she shares more of her feelings with him than me. If we were to have a serious relationship, then I'd want to be the most important person in her life because that's what she'll be to me.

Most of my friends are not close friends with their ex. I don't mind being amicable or even friends with an ex because a lot of couples have mutual friends and common interests. But, I think being best friends with an ex is taking it a bit too far. Also, my friends who were close friends with their ex usually went back to dating them... so it seems like being close is more like a temporary suspension of relationships rather than a clean termination.

Apparently, they broke up because he didn't want to commit to a relationship. She probably has much more than just "a little bit" of feelings for him.

Would you be comfortable with the idea of your significant other being best friends with an ex? Also, wouldn't talking to him everyday and sharing intimate details of one's life count as emotional cheating?

Also, do you think I should even talk to her about this situation or should I just let go of her?

[bobbings]

It's very possible when they broke up they decided that being friends is better than dating because they didn't want to cut each other out. That means they have feelings for each other and could very well get back together later on. Even worse, they could just be friends with benefits as I know a few people in those situations. They're dating other people but will go back to each other behind their current bf and gf's backs to get a quickie.

Good luck!

[stealth]

I picked "maybe" because I think it shouldnt be a problem...but I could also see how awkwardnes and jealousy could make it difficult.
I wonder if this poll would have a gender bias?

[Captain Snazzypants]

I'm dating a girl and she says her best friend is her ex. They talk everyday and she still has feelings for him. I'm not comfortable with the fact that she shares more of her feelings with him than me. If we were to have a serious relationship, then I'd want to be the most important person in her life because that's what she'll be to me.

Most of my friends are not close friends with their ex. I don't mind being amicable or even friends with an ex because a lot of couples have mutual friends and common interests. But, I think being best friends with an ex is taking it a bit too far. Also, my friends who were close friends with their ex usually went back to dating them... so it seems like being close is more like a temporary suspension of relationships rather than a clean termination.

What do you guys think? Would you be comfortable with the idea of your significant other being best friends with an ex? Also, wouldn't talking to him everyday and sharing intimate details of one's life count as emotional cheating?

RED FLAG, Will Robinson!! Sounds like you've already hit the nail on the head. How long were they together, and how long ago did they break up? Is this other guy even happy to be getting calls from her, or is she just being "clingy"?

Personally, I don't think this is natural at all. Aside from the age-old question of whether men and women can ever really be "just friends", it's even trickier when it's people who used to date. Didn't we learn anything from Ross and Rachel? :lol:

You could be the "transitional boyfriend". That can still be great if you know what you're getting yourself into, but not so much otherwise.

[anyasok]

I picked "maybe" because even though all the red flags are there, you never know...

[Corleone187]

are you sure she's "dating" you? You're probably just friends but YOU think you're a couple maybe? :lol:

[ippon]

this is fantastic news.
it means you can surround yourself with other women and she can't say anything about it.
live the dream, bro.

[kennyhohoho]

No. Weird and awkward. I wouldn't want my girlfriend constantly hanging out and sharing feelings with the guy who used to be up in her business.

Not cool. If she respects you as a boyfriend at all, she wouldn't do it.

Let her know about how you feel first. If she's adamant about continuing to be friends with her ex. Dump her.

If there's any trouble between you and her, guess who she's going to confide in?

[xvizardx]

I do not know you and you do not know me, but here's a friendly advice and I really need you to consider this.

Fact # 1 : You are a patch, a rebound, a remedy.
Fact # 2 : She will not be able to resist the temptation if something arises, in other words, chances of her cheating on you is extremely high.
Fact # 3 : You are guaranteed to get hurt.

DROP IT, MOVE ON.

I have been in your shoe 3 years ago, I got cheated on. She was with him for 5 years, her and I started dating 3 months after they broke up, which I found out by accident from a friend who she did not know I knew. Her and her ex-bf remained friends behind my back, a year later I found out she was cheating on me, so I ended it. A fact that she continuously denied, but I proved it myself when she forgot her laptop at my place with her messenger open, so I got curious and I checked chat history.

Any person must not be in a relationship unless they are totally over their past relationship. Otherwise, it's just selfishness. Why would someone want to be with a person that selfish in the first place?

You can find better and you deserve better.

Give yourself more value.

[ShinNoodles]

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSdNX4wYH3CCvHahlijVJ4H5JkIUWUAa vCj_MG49r8EWJD1SMeAgnIMxjaZCw

[flashy_mcflash]

The two red flags are, obviously, her feelings for him as well as the circumstances of their breakup. What if he, all of a sudden, decides he wants to commit? You are out of luck, Poindexter.

I don't think being friends with exes is inherently bad or renders a person undateable and no, talking to others about your relationship is not emotionally cheating, but from the information you've given, these two people are going to end up back together sooner or later.

[linsook]

this is fantastic news.
it means you can surround yourself with other women and she can't say anything about it.
live the dream, bro.

This. :D

[deltone]

All of your answers are in you OP. You said that she admitted to having feelings for the guy and that she shares her feelings and thoughts with the ex. That is really all you need to know. If you think you have a future with her, you can forget about it as you will never be her number one. You are a "rest stop" in her journey. Move on and find someone who puts you as her number one.

I do believe it's possible to be amicable and friendly with an ex but this is over the top. She has already admitted how she feels so the writing is on the wall. You just need to read it. GOOD LUCK

[skyblue12]

first of all, if she still has feelings for him then you two shouldn't be dating right now. plain and simple. the fact that she's still best friends with him makes it even worse.

otherwise, whether or not somebody is ok with their girlfriend being best friends with their ex really depends on who they are. on a personal standpoint, i wouldn't be ok with it, but i know friends who would be if they were put in a similar situation.

all i can say is, if you're uncomfortable with something, talk to her about it. if the issue can't be resolved, then break it off. you don't want to be in a relationship where you're paranoid about whether your girlfriend will get back together with her ex. it's just not worth it.

[Electricute]

for a quick bang here and there why not

for a serious long term relationship, it aint gonna work

[d182]

^100% agreed with what he/she said. if you're gonna keep dating her, stick with the expectation that she probably will cheat on you and/or dump you to get back with her ex

[r1lee]

lol friends with benefits.. good movie!

[Jon Lai]

If she didn't have feelings for her ex, then I think it's fine. But you explicitly said she does, so...

Otherwise, I think it's quite normal for the girl to be good or even best friends with her ex. They've obviously known each other very well in the past and it's hard to break that bond up. Girls usually can't get all problems solved by their other girl friends, so naturally she will have to go to a guy friend for some of her problems, and commonly, an ex who you are still close with is the ideal choice as they know you very well.

[Blockwork]

HELL NO
theyve been together, had a relationship, been intimate, probably banged.. now theyre friends? the feelings and attractions are just magically gone? the ex wont try hitting or making moves on your now gf/bf.. really naive to think that..

without a doubt youre eventually gonna get hurt.. so dont get involved

[RolandCouch]

Coming from a guy who generally gives a girl all the freedom in the world, this is something that I would not be very cool with, especially in your given situation. It's obvious that at the drop of a hat she would take him back if he was interested, so why are you even with her?

Dating girls like this or girls who have ALL guy friends and no girlfriends (in my experience) is never worth the headaches.

[sandikosh]

I would date one but not for a serious relationship, just for s ex. I will never be able to trust that person.

[tr!xxy]

Still friends with an ex of mine, so I voted no...hahaha:D

[kenze]

Being friends with an ex is plain illogical and mostly done by girls and girly guys. They do it because they feel bad about being weak and dumping someone. It gives them some sort of moral comfort that they can still be around the person but in reality they are just lying to themselves and hurting people like the OP.

OP, don't be involved seriously with this worthless girl. She's using you as a rebound and will eventually go back to the other guy. The signs are too clear.

The only thing I encourage you to do is act and tap that **** and throw her away when you finished using her.

Give her a taste of her own medicine.

[Zarmyers]

definitely not, I might always think something everytime I saw them together even though if they're saying their just best of friends.

[bobbings]

Still friends with an ex of mine, so I voted no...hahaha:D

Please elaborate on what happens in that type of friendship lol

[Kingmoo]

this is how I see it:

-ex gets to have no relationship with all the benefits

-girlfriend gets a relationship (with you) with the benefits with ex

-you get screwed. Not the good kind...

[tr!xxy]

Please elaborate on what happens in that type of friendship lol

Let's just say OP should strongly consider the poll...

[Mr.Sea]

I'm dating a girl and she says her best friend is her ex. They talk everyday and she still has feelings for him. I'm not comfortable with the fact that she shares more of her feelings with him than me. If we were to have a serious relationship, then I'd want to be the most important person in her life because that's what she'll be to me.

Keep her for sex. Nothing more.

[toalan]

This reminds me of inflation theory, everyone says that soon after the big bang that gravity was a repulsive force and the universe expanded at many times faster than the speed of light, I do not think that is true. Now they say that the cosmic background radiation picture validates inflation theory, but I think that the background radiation went past the edge of the universe and wrapped around, much like sailing in 1 direction will eventually get you back to the same spot.

Friends with ex, inflation theory, my anti inflation theory, are all just stuff that should only live in thought, if any is real then it is a really f*cked up universe we live in.

[thestar99]

Anyone who is really close with their ex will jump when the opportunity presents itself

Do not get too attached with her. Its all possible she is using you to make her male friend jealous i.e. saying great things about you when she is sharing.

[LostInTruth]

for a quick bang here and there why not

for a serious long term relationship, it aint gonna work

+1

[AudiDude]

for a quick bang here and there why not

for a serious long term relationship, it aint gonna work


I would date one but not for a serious relationship, just for s ex. I will never be able to trust that person.

What they said.^^

If she thought you were such a catch, the only time she would want to talk to her ex is to brag about you and say "in your face, this is what a real man looks like". She's just going to end up confiding in the guy about your faults and that leads to him consoling her. Treat this like a potential bait car. Don't close the door so you won't get locked in and drive with one foot out ready to leap.

I've been there and if she wasn't smoking hot I wouldn't have bothered, but I knew she talked to her ex and it wouldn't last and I don't think I wanted it to either.

I ended up letting go of her AFTER we had sex. The whole school was after her and thought she was little miss innocent. She certainly shattered that perception for me...

Your offer from her is only a limited time offer. Please use and discard before the expiry date.

[kennyhohoho]

What they said.^^

If she thought you were such a catch, the only time she would want to talk to her ex is to brag about you and say "in your face, this is what a real man looks like". She's just going to end up confiding in the guy about your faults and that leads to him consoling her. Treat this like a potential bait car. Don't close the door so you won't get locked in and drive with one foot out ready to leap.

I've been there and if she wasn't smoking hot I wouldn't have bothered, but I knew she talked to her ex and it wouldn't last and I don't think I wanted it to either.

I ended up letting go of her AFTER we had sex. The whole school was after her and thought she was little miss innocent. She certainly shattered that perception for me...

Your offer from her is only a limited time offer. Please use and discard before the expiry date.

Can we get in on the Group Buy? :D

[UrbanPoet]

I'm dating a girl and she says her best friend is her ex. They talk everyday and she still has feelings for him. I'm not comfortable with the fact that she shares more of her feelings with him than me. If we were to have a serious relationship, then I'd want to be the most important person in her life because that's what she'll be to me.

Most of my friends are not close friends with their ex. I don't mind being amicable or even friends with an ex because a lot of couples have mutual friends and common interests. But, I think being best friends with an ex is taking it a bit too far. Also, my friends who were close friends with their ex usually went back to dating them... so it seems like being close is more like a temporary suspension of relationships rather than a clean termination.

Apparently, they broke up because he didn't want to commit to a relationship. She probably has much more than just "a little bit" of feelings for him.

Would you be comfortable with the idea of your significant other being best friends with an ex? Also, wouldn't talking to him everyday and sharing intimate details of one's life count as emotional cheating?

Also, do you think I should even talk to her about this situation or should I just let go of her?

Stay away. She admited that she still has feelings? Thats bad news!

I was once friends with an ex. She wasn't really an ex... She was a woman whom I'd engaged in sexual relations with from time to time. None the less, we were good friends.
The one issue I notice and started to feel bad about was... Her boyfriends. She confided in me with most things and told me a lot about her life. I just felt bad that every guy she dated would hate me with a passion or be extremely suspicious. However I'd set limits and despite being a man (like any other) filled with testosterone and carnal urges, I'd stay far away physically whenever she told me that she was dating someone. It was a mutual understanding of ours.

I do see it as a bit of emotional cheating. Even though me and this woman didn't want to be in a relationship with each other... The way we would talk to each other would probably make most boyfriends uneasy... Even if nothing was going on.

My friend... It looks like deep inside your heart, you want more then just a fling or randevous. After all, you are seeking advice on a medium where most people would either make inappropiate comments, or make fun of you. So keep this in mind before you pursue her any futher. Proceed with caution I might add. But again, love does funny things to people! Sometimes in life we have to get burned before we learn from our mistakes...

[DarkMasterMX]

I dated someone and few a while we didn't really talk but later on literally became best of friends to the point that she was like family. I don't really see the problem. Also often a lot of people talk to their close friends or confidants more than their spouse/partner lol life seems to be weird that way.

[7jai]

OP - you sound like a good guy who's looking for a real relationship. Something solid, and something to build on. I can tell you (based on my horrific history with my ex's) that she is not a keeper for something to build something with. HOWEVER, if you are able to seperate those thoughts and just want to "have fun" while finding the "right one", then by all means, here's your chance.

Based on my past, I wasn't able to do that. I couldn't "hang out" with someone, and then try and find the "right one" at the same time. Kinda difficult as I couldn't control and set aside my emotions. But if you can do it, then hey, this is the perfect opportunity to get "some" and find another lady who you can build with. When you do find the right one, then you can dump the other one.

All in all, if your trying to build something together like a real relationship, this lady isn't right for you. You will end up getting hurt if you invest more time/effort into this. Trust me, I learnt the hard way. I don't regret it, but if I could go back and change things again, I would've done things differently.

Good luck bro

[sexyj]

If they are friends, its ok.

Best friends... no. Unless the guy is gay.

Like others have said, if the opportunity is there your "gf" will sleep with the ex in no time.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfjtpp90lu8

[chibsta08]

for a quick bang here and there why not

for a serious long term relationship, it aint gonna work

+1

I find it hard for girls + guys to be "bestfriends" (see each other often, call/text everyday, etc.) without having one of them develop feelings for the other person.

You seem serious about having a long term relationship with this chick, I'd suggest to move on..unless she does a 180 and cut off talking to her "bestfriend ex" lol Even then, I'd still have my doubts lol

[peanutz]

My answer is No, and it's not because the best friend is an ex.

I don't consider myself to be the jealous type but I have to be the #1 girl in his life. If the guy's best friend is another girl, bye.

I suppose the converse is true for other guys.

[EbonyRose]

Wow, the opinions of guys in here are astounding. Apparently, if a girl is best friends with her ex, or has some other character defect that is a valid excuse to use her just for sex. It doesn't make you any better than her when you decide to hump and dump her. It puts you on the same level and maybe even on a worse level than her, because you're purposely using her for sex. :facepalm:

Anyway, back on topic, I would never date someone who is close friends with the ex. My recent ex was close friends with his ex. She use to call him all the time and they'd meet up once in a while to hang. Me being young and naive didn't think that was a problem, because I trusted him. I thought it was cool that they could still be such good friends. He told me that they no longer had feelings for each other and I foolishly believed him. I find out months down the road that she is still in love with him and she had been sending him naked pictures of herself. He never told me this, I only found out, because he told me to send out a text using his phone and it opened the last message he received. I called him out on it and he told me that he was done with her. He said that he couldn't help if she was sending him naked pictures. Long story short, it caused a lot of grief in our relationship and although I truly believed that he had no intention of going back to her, I knew that he liked the fact that his ex was still fawning over him and that's just not acceptable.

[at1212b]

You know what you're getting into so no excuses. Plenty of good advice here.

If you choose to ignore, question is, how often are you going to bend over, and who's going to take it first from the Ex.. you or her?

[kennyhohoho]

Wow, the opinions of guys in here are astounding. Apparently, if a girl is best friends with her ex, or has some other character defect that is a valid excuse to use her just for sex. It doesn't make you any better than her when you decide to hump and dump her. It puts you on the same level and maybe even on a worse level than her, because you're purposely using her for sex. :facepalm:

So? lt's not a gender thing. Had OP had been a girl, she could still hit it and quit it too. :lol:

How come women are the only ones who can be victimized when it comes to sex?

[kenze]

So? lt's not a gender thing. Had OP had been a girl, she could still hit it and quit it too. :lol:

How come women are the only ones who can be victimized when it comes to sex?

Exactly. What's wrong with humping and dumping if the girl isn't being serious?

Personally, I would let her know that it makes me uncomfortable and see what she does before doing it.

[jillaryit]

Stay away. She admited that she still has feelings? Thats bad news!

I was once friends with an ex. She wasn't really an ex... She was a woman whom I'd engaged in sexual relations with from time to time. None the less, we were good friends.
The one issue I notice and started to feel bad about was... Her boyfriends. She confided in me with most things and told me a lot about her life. I just felt bad that every guy she dated would hate me with a passion or be extremely suspicious. However I'd set limits and despite being a man (like any other) filled with testosterone and carnal urges, I'd stay far away physically whenever she told me that she was dating someone. It was a mutual understanding of ours.

I do see it as a bit of emotional cheating. Even though me and this woman didn't want to be in a relationship with each other... The way we would talk to each other would probably make most boyfriends uneasy... Even if nothing was going on.

My friend... It looks like deep inside your heart, you want more then just a fling or randevous. After all, you are seeking advice on a medium where most people would either make inappropiate comments, or make fun of you. So keep this in mind before you pursue her any futher. Proceed with caution I might add. But again, love does funny things to people! Sometimes in life we have to get burned before we learn from our mistakes...

It's a win-win situation in my opinion whether you date or don't date.

[redkid]

there's a saying for this
where there was fire, ashes remain

meaning beware, you can get burnt

[Ziggy007]

It is possible to be friends with your exes, just not right away.

If there has been space for a few months after a breakup then both people can probably go on being friends. If they went from relationship to friendship, lingering feelings are probably a no go from that perspective

[Yu_Qing]

tried it. doesn't work.

my ex was an idiot (really). i'm surprise he managed to stay alive.

[peanutz]

tried it. doesn't work.

my ex was an idiot (really). i'm surprise he managed to stay alive.Were you worried that he might one day forget how to breathe? Or did you wish him bodily harm? :razz:

[peanutz]

See my subtitle above (dating someone whose best friend is the opposite sex.)

Would any of you?

I already said I wouldn't - call it ego, jealousy, whatever - if I'm going to date someone, I want to be the #1 girl without interference, judgment or competition from some other girl who might be considered "irreplaceable" to the guy.

Somewhat relatedly, I prefer to date guys that have good guy friends. I've dated one guy who pretty much only had female friends, for whatever reason, and while he didn't stray (and surprisingly kept his eyes on me even though the waitress on our first date was HOT), I just somehow found it a bit of a turnoff. He just seemed awkward around other guys. I like guys who know how to speak br0.

[masterhapposai]

I'm dating a girl and she says her best friend is her ex. They talk everyday and she still has feelings for him. I'm not comfortable with the fact that she shares more of her feelings with him than me. If we were to have a serious relationship, then I'd want to be the most important person in her life because that's what she'll be to me.

Most of my friends are not close friends with their ex. I don't mind being amicable or even friends with an ex because a lot of couples have mutual friends and common interests. But, I think being best friends with an ex is taking it a bit too far. Also, my friends who were close friends with their ex usually went back to dating them... so it seems like being close is more like a temporary suspension of relationships rather than a clean termination.

Apparently, they broke up because he didn't want to commit to a relationship. She probably has much more than just "a little bit" of feelings for him.

Would you be comfortable with the idea of your significant other being best friends with an ex? Also, wouldn't talking to him everyday and sharing intimate details of one's life count as emotional cheating?

Also, do you think I should even talk to her about this situation or should I just let go of her?

I only read the first sentence (and none of replies).

1 word, simple answer:

RUN


And do it now before your emotions kick in.

[masterhapposai]

If they are friends, its ok.

Best friends... no. Unless the guy is gay.

Like others have said, if the opportunity is there your "gf" will sleep with the ex in no time.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfjtpp90lu8

moar appropriate video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aofoBrFNdg

[UrbanPoet]

Wow, the opinions of guys in here are astounding. Apparently, if a girl is best friends with her ex, or has some other character defect that is a valid excuse to use her just for sex. It doesn't make you any better than her when you decide to hump and dump her. It puts you on the same level and maybe even on a worse level than her, because you're purposely using her for sex. :facepalm:

Anyway, back on topic, I would never date someone who is close friends with the ex. My recent ex was close friends with his ex. She use to call him all the time and they'd meet up once in a while to hang. Me being young and naive didn't think that was a problem, because I trusted him. I thought it was cool that they could still be such good friends. He told me that they no longer had feelings for each other and I foolishly believed him. I find out months down the road that she is still in love with him and she had been sending him naked pictures of herself. He never told me this, I only found out, because he told me to send out a text using his phone and it opened the last message he received. I called him out on it and he told me that he was done with her. He said that he couldn't help if she was sending him naked pictures. Long story short, it caused a lot of grief in our relationship and although I truly believed that he had no intention of going back to her, I knew that he liked the fact that his ex was still fawning over him and that's just not acceptable.

Well... Whats the difference if Women out there use men for the equivilent of emotional sex?
Do you get what I'm saying?

A lot of girls out there keep a guy on the side lines or even go as far as dating just to have a decent guy around... You know... So they can get all that sweet stuff like text messages, nice dinners and fun outtings... Sounds like the OP is one of those guys! Ouch.

[EbonyRose]

So? lt's not a gender thing. Had OP had been a girl, she could still hit it and quit it too. :lol:

How come women are the only ones who can be victimized when it comes to sex?

Let's face it, women often times attach more of an emotional significance to sex than men do. Out of 10 men, how many do you think will get upset, if a woman uses him for sex? Now out of 10 women, how many do you think will get upset, if a man uses her for sex? Women aren't the only ones that can be victimized, but more often than not, they are. Men are more likely to use women for sex than the other way around. That's just how things are.

And come on, if the OP was a girl, you really think people would be telling "her" to hit it and quit it? That would basically mean the OP was rewarding the guy for speaking to his ex. :razz:


Well... Whats the difference if Women out there use men for the equivilent of emotional sex?
Do you get what I'm saying?

A lot of girls out there keep a guy on the side lines or even go as far as dating just to have a decent guy around... You know... So they can get all that sweet stuff like text messages, nice dinners and fun outtings... Sounds like the OP is one of those guys! Ouch.

lol, equivilent of emotional sex . . . that's just a very funny phrase. :razz: I THINK I get what you're saying and I'm not defending these women (they're disgusting excuses for human beings), so don't misunderstand me. All I was saying is that it's appalling that some of the guys on here can justify using women for sex for whatever reason. The moral thing to do, when you encounter someone who you know just won't work long term is to break up with them and move on. Some guys are advocating that you try to keep the girl long enough, so you can have sex with her first, THEN dump her. Unless you've made it clear that all you're interested in is sex, then you are using her, just like she's using you, so you can't claim the moral high ground here. You're both just a bunch of users. I wouldn't want to date someone who used his girlfriend just for sex, even if she was a grade A biatch.

[Oscillator]

I don't even acknowledge the existence of my exes, let alone become best friends with them. OP, stop being beta and next her. Remove her number from your phone and forget she ever existed, because if even you can pick up that she's more interested in her ex than you, then it's time to move on.

[-=phelan=-]

^^ +1

[thestar99]

They are your ex for a reason. Most people dont keep in touch. They lead separate lives

[puppylover]

I remembered I slammed someone in a party: "oh I am still friend with my ex"- "then why the hell did you break up?"

[Super strokey]

Seriously? I cant even put into words how stupid this question is. Jesus...

[MrKap]

I'm dating a girl and she says her best friend is her ex. They talk everyday and she still has feelings for him. I'm not comfortable with the fact that she shares more of her feelings with him than me. If we were to have a serious relationship, then I'd want to be the most important person in her life because that's what she'll be to me.

Most of my friends are not close friends with their ex. I don't mind being amicable or even friends with an ex because a lot of couples have mutual friends and common interests. But, I think being best friends with an ex is taking it a bit too far. Also, my friends who were close friends with their ex usually went back to dating them... so it seems like being close is more like a temporary suspension of relationships rather than a clean termination.

Apparently, they broke up because he didn't want to commit to a relationship. She probably has much more than just "a little bit" of feelings for him.

Would you be comfortable with the idea of your significant other being best friends with an ex? Also, wouldn't talking to him everyday and sharing intimate details of one's life count as emotional cheating?

Also, do you think I should even talk to her about this situation or should I just let go of her?

OP, what does it matter who shares what with who? If it were her best girlfriend, would you care that she shared more with her girlfriend?


You have control and jealously issues. Soak it up and learn from the experience.

There is no group of people who are going to be able to tell you which way is the right way and which is the wrong.

Just take it at face value, she has better friends than you.

[msoor19]

Being best friends with an ex is stupid. Why are people so stupid?
Friends, I can understand, if you have mutual friends, go to school together, have other common interests, or even become good friends with your ex's family. That makes sense, after a certain post-breakup period in which you both get over each other, realize why your relationship did not work out and maybe date other people.

Imo, if you want to be just friends with your ex, you should be able to live without that person in your life, and be happy. I don't think you should be talking to this person more than once a month, and you definitely should not be spending any alone time with them.

Yea sure, hit that and then run if you want, as long as you first tell her to stop talking to her beloved ex and/or discuss the mutual benefits of a strictly sexual relationship. She needs to know that's all she'll get (and all she deserves) if she keeps close to him.

[kenchau66]

Giggity

[Troodon]

OP, what does it matter who shares what with who? If it were her best girlfriend, would you care that she shared more with her girlfriend?


You have control and jealously issues. Soak it up and learn from the experience.

There is no group of people who are going to be able to tell you which way is the right way and which is the wrong.

Just take it at face value, she has better friends than you.

Okay, I get where you come from but I have no idea how you got "she has better friends than you". How does having an ex as a best friend means that she has better friends?

[MrKap]

Okay, I get where you come from but I have no idea how you got "she has better friends than you". How does having an ex as a best friend means that she has better friends?

Whether she knows it or not, at face value, she is expressing to you that she has someone who she confides in, whereas, she might not do the same with you.

So, basically, it doesn't mean anything, because over time it just means that she will either start to confide in you more, or perhaps not.

She has known the other guy for longer than you, so perhaps that's somewhat fair. On the other hand it devalues your relationship between each other in the sense that she has specifically stated, she see specific values with the other relationship, where she currently does not in yours.

Hey maybe confiding in others means nothing to her, and to confide in you, would be taking a risk, which she doesn't want to do, because she might be nervous as to whether or not you would judge her in a good light or a bad one.

I don't really know. If it bothers you, leave the situation, but if you can deal with it, stick around and see what happens.

Just don't put all your eggs in one basket. She might not be. So why should you?

[mbg]

If they broke up because he decided he was gay, it's OK.

Otherwise, not a good idea.