I get friend-zoned even when I get approached by girls! Need Help!

[Troodon]

So a few days ago, I got approached by a girl after class. We chatted for a bit but I didn't get her number. However, on Friday, she gave me her number. I thought she was definitely interested in me because that's pretty ballsy especially for a girl. I got friend-zoned a many times in the past so I decided that I'm not going to get friend-zoned by her. I asked her out on a date but she said "lets just be friends.. i don't even know you". WTF. She then talked about how she dated the wrong people in the past because she didn't know them well enough before dating.

It's so hard to avoid being friend-zoned. If girls who show interest in me still friend-zones me then how can I avoid getting friend-zoned when I'm the one showing interest.

Also, it feels like a Catch-22. She won't date me unless she knows me. But then that almost guarantees getting friend-zoned. She probably has tons of other male orbiters as friends. What's the likelihood that she'll pick me?

I think I'm going to just give up dating until my 30s when women become more serious about relationships.

EDIT: She's an Asian (7-8/10) and somewhat conservative (I guess ?).

[gibguitar]

You went "nice guy" somewhere along the way. Move onto the next one. Stop being a nice guy.

[Troodon]

You went "nice guy" somewhere along the way. Move onto the next one. Stop being a nice guy.

I actually asked her why she wanted my number and she said it's because she thinks I'm nice. T_T

[gibguitar]

I actually asked her why she wanted my number and she said it's because she thinks I'm nice. T_T

Well, first of all, you don't ask a girl why she wants your number, unless you're trying to tease her or make her work for your number.
And you "asked" her on a date? You used the word date when you asked her? Why didn't just call her up and tell her to grab a coffee with you or to chill and get a few drinks.

[Buggy166]

I actually asked her why she wanted my number and she said it's because she thinks I'm nice. T_T

...and you gave it to her after that line?

you try that. go up to a chick and ask her for her number and tell her because you think shes "nice". lol

[Syne]

Basically, there's two schools of thought here. You can try to project a more 'alpha' personality, in the hopes that women will fall uncontrollably in love with you - or you can try to find a woman who has overcome the neurotic compulsion to 'test' guys, to make sure that they aren't needy or broken, and instead are the 2-D cutout of a man they've always dreamed of.

The "mistake" (in quotes because it's not really a mistake) that most guys make, is that they show a moment of humanity or weakness early after meeting someone, and that is like insect repellant. Women typify and idealize men as people who don't show emotion and don't have needs, and are strangely impressed by guys who can suppress their feelings to sociopathic levels - bonus points if this is used to screw over someone else.

In my experience, there is an unspoken caste system with guys. If it's not in your constitution to be 'man-like' 24/7, then you have to work on other things like getting ripped at the gym, having a great sense of fashion and becoming well educated and gainfully employed. Even still, she might dump you for an alcoholic basement-dweller who has better honed 'alpha' personality once she gets over your new car smell.

In the end, it's not something you can really dissect on an intellectual level, because the sum of its parts never adds up to the net effect. Guys have been trying for decades to demonstrate to women that what they want is not based in reality, and only a shallow ***** -for-brains would find some of these qualities sexually attractive. It doesn't matter though because it's subconscious. You can either hate it and be bitter, or play to your strengths and be confident with what you have to offer.

[pablonutribar]

Basically, there's two schools of thought here. You can try to project a more 'alpha' personality, in the hopes that women will fall uncontrollably in love with you - or you can try to find a woman who has overcome the neurotic compulsion to 'test' guys, to make sure that they aren't needy or broken, and instead are the 2-D cutout of a man they've always dreamed of.

The "mistake" (in quotes because it's not really a mistake) that most guys make, is that they show a moment of humanity or weakness early after meeting someone, and that is like insect repellant. Women typify and idealize men as people who don't show emotion and don't have needs, and are strangely impressed by guys who can suppress their feelings to sociopathic levels - bonus points if this is used to screw over someone else.

In my experience, there is an unspoken caste system with guys. If it's not in your constitution to be 'man-like' 24/7, then you have to work on other things like getting ripped at the gym, having a great sense of fashion and becoming well educated and gainfully employed. Even still, she might dump you for an alcoholic basement-dweller who has better honed 'alpha' personality once she gets over your new car smell.

In the end, it's not something you can really dissect on an intellectual level, because the sum of its parts never adds up to the net effect. Guys have been trying for decades to demonstrate to women that what they want is not based in reality, and only a shallow ***** -for-brains would find some of these qualities sexually attractive. It doesn't matter though because it's subconscious. You can either hate it and be bitter, or play to your strengths and be confident with what you have to offer.

Well put.

[Mykester]

delete her facebook and hit the gym

[DJ_Peanuts22]

She probably feels that she can easily manipulate you, hence she is calling you "nice".

It's your move next what you want to pursue from her.

[lordnikon]

A lot of relationships start out as friends anyway. I don't see how you got friend zoned....so you're just going to quit now? And the so called universal rule that "nice guys" don't get any girls is BS.

[fluidmax]

Basically, there's two schools of thought here. You can try to project a more 'alpha' personality, in the hopes that women will fall uncontrollably in love with you - or you can try to find a woman who has overcome the neurotic compulsion to 'test' guys, to make sure that they aren't needy or broken, and instead are the 2-D cutout of a man they've always dreamed of.

The "mistake" (in quotes because it's not really a mistake) that most guys make, is that they show a moment of humanity or weakness early after meeting someone, and that is like insect repellant. Women typify and idealize men as people who don't show emotion and don't have needs, and are strangely impressed by guys who can suppress their feelings to sociopathic levels - bonus points if this is used to screw over someone else.

In my experience, there is an unspoken caste system with guys. If it's not in your constitution to be 'man-like' 24/7, then you have to work on other things like getting ripped at the gym, having a great sense of fashion and becoming well educated and gainfully employed. Even still, she might dump you for an alcoholic basement-dweller who has better honed 'alpha' personality once she gets over your new car smell.

In the end, it's not something you can really dissect on an intellectual level, because the sum of its parts never adds up to the net effect. Guys have been trying for decades to demonstrate to women that what they want is not based in reality, and only a shallow ***** -for-brains would find some of these qualities sexually attractive. It doesn't matter though because it's subconscious. You can either hate it and be bitter, or play to your strengths and be confident with what you have to offer.

This post pretty much sums it up...Especially true for the newer generations of girls now a days. I guess too many movies like twilight and stuff from Disney gave them an unrealistic outlook of their future romance at an early age.

[Tabooger]

Move on, she will NEVER want to date you. I have girl friends like that too, annoying. I have never been able to get a couple of girls to go out on a date but we often hang out and talk a lot, of course different periods of time. To me, it`s mind boggling, would you not want to be with someone you hang out and talk to and enjoy time with? Yes they were/are single. :facepalm:

[stealth]

I actually asked her why she wanted my number and she said it's because she thinks I'm nice. T_T

No. That's your problem.
She wanted your number because she was attracted to you. She wouldnt say that though becaus its embarassing....and kind of obvious.
There's a fine line between being nice and being boring. You crossed it.
Sorry, I don't mean to sound harsh. But girls don't want a guys number because they want to go to church with them.:razz:

Don't try and be mean, just try and be a little more outspoken, take a stand on issues, have an opinion, try and be funnier..and still be nice.

And next time, instead of giving her your number tell her you'll take hers instead and will call her. It adds some suspense to the game for her, and puts you back in the drivers seat.

[No Frills]

There are 2 types of nice guys, ones that finish first and ones that finish last. There is a big difference between them.

[zoltorg]

From my experience, there is a vast difference from >22 year old girls and under. When they are younger, all they want to do is party and they go after guys in Ed Hardy t-shirts. After, when they realize that life costs money, they gravitate to any warm male body that has a stable job and a car. Being "Alpha" in your min-twentys is about not having to rely on mommy, having a decent apartment, car and job. Everything else should take care of itself.

[tsxnation]

Basically, there's two schools of thought here. You can try to project a more 'alpha' personality, in the hopes that women will fall uncontrollably in love with you - or you can try to find a woman who has overcome the neurotic compulsion to 'test' guys, to make sure that they aren't needy or broken, and instead are the 2-D cutout of a man they've always dreamed of.

The "mistake" (in quotes because it's not really a mistake) that most guys make, is that they show a moment of humanity or weakness early after meeting someone, and that is like insect repellant. Women typify and idealize men as people who don't show emotion and don't have needs, and are strangely impressed by guys who can suppress their feelings to sociopathic levels - bonus points if this is used to screw over someone else.

In my experience, there is an unspoken caste system with guys. If it's not in your constitution to be 'man-like' 24/7, then you have to work on other things like getting ripped at the gym, having a great sense of fashion and becoming well educated and gainfully employed. Even still, she might dump you for an alcoholic basement-dweller who has better honed 'alpha' personality once she gets over your new car smell.

In the end, it's not something you can really dissect on an intellectual level, because the sum of its parts never adds up to the net effect. Guys have been trying for decades to demonstrate to women that what they want is not based in reality, and only a shallow ***** -for-brains would find some of these qualities sexually attractive. It doesn't matter though because it's subconscious. You can either hate it and be bitter, or play to your strengths and be confident with what you have to offer.

Holy crap. This is right on. I couldn't have worded it better myself.

In my experience, the girls that have shown the most interest in me were the ones I ignored or was a little bit of Douche toward. You can't be overly nice. Just doesn't work.

My female friends are mostly attracted to guys that great them Poorly. It boggles the mind, but it's the way things are. Of course when I bring it to their attention they get defensive and deny it, but actions speak louder than words lol

[stealth]

From my experience, there is a vast difference from >22 year old girls and under. When they are younger, all they want to do is party and they go after guys in Ed Hardy t-shirts. After, when they realize that life costs money, they gravitate to any warm male body that has a stable job and a car. Being "Alpha" in your min-twentys is about not having to rely on mommy, having a decent apartment, car and job. Everything else should take care of itself.

Ya that's true...most girls in their mid 20's and above look back at the sort of guys they used to date/be attracted to, as "losers".

But I think a lot of guys are confused with what "being nice" is....you can still be a stand-up guy without becoming sterile, asexual, boring, desperate or needy/whiny.

[thestar99]

As some mentioned in the past girls under 25 have complete different mentality than over 25. Under 25 are usually not attracted to nice guys. Tease her always and talk about other girls in front of her how hot they are and another thing is bring other girls while you are hanging out.

I swear this girls are messed up and treating them like crap works but once they get older they want nice guys. Be a bad boy until you are 25 and change to nice guy with edge. Personally being nice got nowhere teasing them and not being nice has worked

[Superboot]

Basically, there's two schools of thought here. You can try to project a more 'alpha' personality, in the hopes that women will fall uncontrollably in love with you - or you can try to find a woman who has overcome the neurotic compulsion to 'test' guys, to make sure that they aren't needy or broken, and instead are the 2-D cutout of a man they've always dreamed of.

The "mistake" (in quotes because it's not really a mistake) that most guys make, is that they show a moment of humanity or weakness early after meeting someone, and that is like insect repellant. Women typify and idealize men as people who don't show emotion and don't have needs, and are strangely impressed by guys who can suppress their feelings to sociopathic levels - bonus points if this is used to screw over someone else.

In my experience, there is an unspoken caste system with guys. If it's not in your constitution to be 'man-like' 24/7, then you have to work on other things like getting ripped at the gym, having a great sense of fashion and becoming well educated and gainfully employed. Even still, she might dump you for an alcoholic basement-dweller who has better honed 'alpha' personality once she gets over your new car smell.

In the end, it's not something you can really dissect on an intellectual level, because the sum of its parts never adds up to the net effect. Guys have been trying for decades to demonstrate to women that what they want is not based in reality, and only a shallow ***** -for-brains would find some of these qualities sexually attractive. It doesn't matter though because it's subconscious. You can either hate it and be bitter, or play to your strengths and be confident with what you have to offer.

Pretty much captured the whole fz issue, op just needs to be a straight up jerk to girls, ignore them, make fun of them, etc...

[smartfood]

She approached you after class, she's just making friends with you for homework help/to share class notes if she arrives late/misses class.
Sorry dude.



So a few days ago, I got approached by a girl after class. We chatted for a bit but I didn't get her number. However, on Friday, she gave me her number. I thought she was definitely interested in me because that's pretty ballsy especially for a girl. I got friend-zoned a many times in the past so I decided that I'm not going to get friend-zoned by her. I asked her out on a date but she said "lets just be friends.. i don't even know you". WTF. She then talked about how she dated the wrong people in the past because she didn't know them well enough before dating.

It's so hard to avoid being friend-zoned. If girls who show interest in me still friend-zones me then how can I avoid getting friend-zoned when I'm the one showing interest.

Also, it feels like a Catch-22. She won't date me unless she knows me. But then that almost guarantees getting friend-zoned. She probably has tons of other male orbiters as friends. What's the likelihood that she'll pick me?

I think I'm going to just give up dating until my 30s when women become more serious about relationships.

EDIT: She's an Asian (7-8/10) and somewhat conservative (I guess ?).

[kuhai2001]

Pretty much captured the whole fz issue, op just needs to be a straight up jerk to girls, ignore them, make fun of them, etc...

I am sure being a ***** has worked for many of you. But you know some of us (me for example), being a nice guy is in his root. It is hard to just "pretend" or "act up" a douche, you know?:(

[No Frills]

But I think a lot of guys are confused with what "being nice" is....you can still be a stand-up guy without becoming sterile, asexual, boring, desperate or needy/whiny.

+1, that guy can attract many more girls than the cookie cutter jerk, no matter what the age

[gibguitar]

But I think a lot of guys are confused with what "being nice" is....you can still be a stand-up guy without becoming sterile, asexual, boring, desperate or needy/whiny.

Yes! Exactly. Don't listen to the people who tell you:
"you can still be a nice guy and girls will like you."

People want to hear that because they don't want to change. Then they don't want to change because they think it's not honest.

You know what's not honest? Being nice to girls and treating them like friends, then jumping them with your emotions or words like "dates".
If you never sexualized the conversation or flirted in your interactions with her and instead were always nice to her and opened all her doors, baked her cookies, etc., she'll think you just want to be friends and lose interest in you. Then, when you tell her you like her or want to go out on a date, don't be surprised if she only sees you as a friend, after you built yourself up to look like a friend!

Being nice to her to get in her pants is dishonest. You should make your intentions known upfront, obviously without telling her! You have to tease her, flirt with her, touch her, treat her like a kid, sexualize conversations.

You need to move on from this one and keep trying. It's a lost cause at this point. Maybe she'll come running back if she sees you with someone else but at this point to keep working ONLY on her, would be crazy.

[aplayaz2000]

Nice guys finish last, that's why you gotta treat them like trash.

[Superboot]

Nice guys finish last, that's why you gotta treat them like trash.

Or just get super ripped at the gym and throw some money around.

[al3x89]

OP, you failed. you only get 1 shot, and now she thinks you're too much of a ***** to do anything, but she wanted your number to be friends.

"i didn't get her number" what the *****. man the hell up.

[TheRed]

So a few days ago, I got approached by a girl after class. We chatted for a bit but I didn't get her number. However, on Friday, she gave me her number. I thought she was definitely interested in me because that's pretty ballsy especially for a girl. I got friend-zoned a many times in the past so I decided that I'm not going to get friend-zoned by her. I asked her out on a date but she said "lets just be friends.. i don't even know you". WTF. She then talked about how she dated the wrong people in the past because she didn't know them well enough before dating.

It's so hard to avoid being friend-zoned. If girls who show interest in me still friend-zones me then how can I avoid getting friend-zoned when I'm the one showing interest.

Also, it feels like a Catch-22. She won't date me unless she knows me. But then that almost guarantees getting friend-zoned. She probably has tons of other male orbiters as friends. What's the likelihood that she'll pick me?

I think I'm going to just give up dating until my 30s when women become more serious about relationships.

EDIT: She's an Asian (7-8/10) and somewhat conservative (I guess ?).

Oh I thought its about high school dating dilemma, nvrm.

[Xiaohaibao]

There are 2 types of nice guys, ones that finish first and ones that finish last. There is a big difference between them.
Yes I always finish too soon is that why I'm single?

[Buggy166]

Yes I always finish too soon is that why I'm single?

There's no such thing as too soon, not your problem she's slow.:lol:

[dragon_drift]

Jumped too fast. Be friends first, why so desperate?

[Mars2012]

So much cynicism on this thread...I've been married to a nice guy for over twenty two years, and we started out as friends. Sure am glad not to be wading into the dating pool these days...sounds like a real shark tank. I do agree that a lot of women see the superficial, but then guys are guilty of that too...it's human nature to focus on looks before personality.

I say, get to know a variety of people and if the chemistry works, then you'll know...

[Nazey]

OP did you really expect her to go out with you before she even barely knows you?

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6nqob2nCq1rzz3r3o1_500.gif



Stop being desperate.

[thestar99]

Most of us have been in your shoes. We liked the girl and showed too much interest in her doing things she asked but she never found attractive. That girl is a lost cause. Do the following to work on your confidence:

1. Hit the gym (university/college gyms are affordable)
2. Wear fitted clothing (again nothing expense required)
3. Become more social (simple as saying hi to everyone you come across is a start)
4. Join clubs that interest you (more chance to meet girls that shares your interest)
5. Volunteer (again more chance to meet girls)
6. No girl is worth it if she wastes your time dump that b##tch takes this to heart
7. Keep up with current news

[aTriangle]

In my group of friends there is a big a-hole and a super nice guy. The former has had multiple long term relationships and a handful of shorter relationships, and he was the one who broke it off and never had much drama. The latter has never had a long term relationship because every short term relationship was full of drama. IMO, the nice guy is always trying to please the girl, and for some reason or another, that never works out.

[navyseals]

http://img.izismile.com/img/img3/20101206/1000/new_funny_gif_03.gif

[Tornado F2]

This post pretty much sums it up...Especially true for the newer generations of girls now a days. I guess too many movies like twilight and stuff from Disney gave them an unrealistic outlook of their future romance at an early age.

That's another strange thing: Why are girls attracted to vampires? (But not other monsters). Is it the stay young forever vanity aspect? Or just very effective PR?

[Tornado F2]

In my group of friends there is a big a-hole and a super nice guy. The former has had multiple long term relationships and a handful of shorter relationships, and he was the one who broke it off and never had much drama. The latter has never had a long term relationship because every short term relationship was full of drama. IMO, the nice guy is always trying to please the girl, and for some reason or another, that never works out.

So much for women's lib. Obviously women don't want men to put them first after all. Boss them around, treat them like dirt, and they come running. Why are so many women stupid like that? After decades of "equality" you'd think things would have changed. Oddly enough, after marriage the woman seems to take on the boss role, and the man either settles for that or leaves, adding to the divorce rate.

[the_fm]

2. Wear fitted clothing (again nothing expense required)

depends what. i'd say dress like Irbe to cover every possible types of girls

[jaxx lite]

I asked her out on a date but she said "lets just be friends.. i don't even know you". WTF. She then talked about how she dated the wrong people in the past because she didn't know them well enough before dating.

She won't date me unless she knows me. But then that almost guarantees getting friend-zoned. She probably has tons of other male orbiters as friends. What's the likelihood that she'll pick me?


1) You sound impatient.

2) She chatted with you because she wants school friends.

3) After high school, girls should give up becoming friends with guys.

4) You have given up on this girl
why not try another girl?

5) Improve your physical appearance

6) Try not to be too nerdy, girlish (effeminate), wimpy

=

[No Frills]

Yes I always finish too soon is that why I'm single?

hahaha just practice on your finish, nice guy!

[Tornado F2]

3) After high school, girls should give up becoming friends with guys.


Why?

[Kunman]

damn...forget her and the friendzone, just be who you are

Forget BS societal values

dont try to be a nice guy if your are an @sshole

and dont try to be a @sshole if your a nice guy

When the right girl comes or when you find the right girl, love will happen without you even knowing it.

[kingofwale]

lol, the biggest mistake is asking her on a 'date'.

why not just go hang out. When you 'classify' things too early, she backed off.

Clearly she feels that you are either too 'square' or too 'pushy'. Just go hang out a few times. WHo knows, you might not even like her that way.

once you get to know her a little better, then you ask her out officially.


Worked for me many times.

[Troodon]

UPDATE:

Okay. Well I got the dating thing cleared up with her. We talk about an hour per day. I really like talking to her even though I know it'll lead to a definite friend-zone. Sigh..

[kingofwale]

We talk an hour per day. It's ridiculous but I like talking to her.

http://outspokennyc.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/article-0-00C0B7F5000004B0-789_468x427.jpg

when you say 'talk'... you mean actually conversing?

[d182]

UPDATE:

Okay. Well I got the dating thing cleared up with her. We talk about an hour per day. I really like talking to her even though I know it'll lead to a definite friend-zone. Sigh..

What were you exact words when you asked her? Did you say "hey let's go on a date?" Cuz that's not gonna cut it (you might've scared her off). You should've asked her to hang out but say for example, "There's a magician performing at the campus pub, wanna go?" Then at some point on the date, and if think there's mutual attraction, make a move and break that physical barrier (hold her hand, kiss her at the end of the night etc). If she doesn't hold your hand bakc, THEN you know you've been friend zoned.

Edit: Alternatively, ask her to come out to party with you and your friends. Then if she's willing to grind with you, I think you already know your answer :D

[007craft]

You're not even closed to friend zoned. In fact youre in a better place then most. Youve been placed in potential zone. Theres lots of girls who wont date friends, but wont date strangers either. I was (friends) with a girl for 2 months before we finally hooked up. She made the same excuses about (I dont know you) crap. The trick is dont stop showing interest. Dont act like you cant have her... thats when you get friend zoned. What you need to do is keep the friend zone out of her mind. Make sarcastic remarks about how you 2 are going to hook up sooner or later. Say other sexually suggestive stuff. All youre doing is pushing these thoughts into her head. Shes not going to friend zone you if shes constantly thinking about what its like to bang you. Then eventually she will give in. Alcohol on a night out will help.

Its when you dont remind a girl of sexual interest and be friends with her for a year+. Thats when you become true friend zoned

[d182]

You're not even closed to friend zoned. In fact youre in a better place then most. Youve been placed in potential zone. Theres lots of girls who wont date friends, but wont date strangers either. I was (friends) with a girl for 2 months before we finally hooked up. She made the same excuses about (I dont know you) crap. The trick is dont stop showing interest. Dont act like you cant have her... thats when you get friend zoned. What you need to do is keep the friend zone out of her mind. Make sarcastic remarks about how you 2 are going to hook up sooner or later. Say other sexually suggestive stuff. All youre doing is pushing these thoughts into her head. Shes not going to friend zone you if shes constantly thinking about what its like to bang you. Then eventually she will give in. Alcohol on a night out will help.

Its when you dont remind a girl of sexual interest and be friends with her for a year+. Thats when you become true friend zoned

I agree, Keep talking to her and make sure you're still flirting with her and making her laugh. That being said, I also think OP shouldn't be talking to her for an hour every night. If you really wanna get into her pants, save the interesting conversation for the times that you see her in person.

[tebore]

Really? Really?

All the advice about telling the OP to be someone he's not and catch all tips to help get girls?

Just do what you gotta do but don't make her the centre of you universe.




In my experience, there is an unspoken caste system with guys. If it's not in your constitution to be 'man-like' 24/7, then you have to work on other things like getting ripped at the gym, having a great sense of fashion and becoming well educated and gainfully employed. Even still, she might dump you for an alcoholic basement-dweller who has better honed 'alpha' personality once she gets over your new car smell.


If you're trying to pick up dudes maybe...

[Nazey]

OP watch this video best...advice for you.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7e1jW9r2ps&feature=g-u-u

[Syne]

Just do what you gotta do but don't make her the centre of you universe.

Easier said than done. If you've ever fallen for someone, you know it's tough to just 'turn off' your emotions and just be casual. You tell people to be real, but then tell them not to get too attached. What if falling hard for girls is just the way someone operates?


If you're trying to pick up dudes maybe...

I don't think so. Being in good shape and knowing how to take care of yourself are attractive features and women respond to this.

[setell]

OP watch this video best...advice for you.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7e1jW9r2ps&feature=g-u-u

Lol thanks for the good laugh! I'll be watching more of his videos lol

[Mars2012]

OP watch this video best...advice for you.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7e1jW9r2ps&feature=g-u-u

I don't quite know what to say...I've never known an Asian man to be so comfortable at channeling their "inner Black woman" than that guy.:razz:

[HTTP04]

RFD where everyone is a Master PUA

[Tornado F2]

UPDATE:

Okay. Well I got the dating thing cleared up with her. We talk about an hour per day. I really like talking to her even though I know it'll lead to a definite friend-zone. Sigh..

That was quick! Just 15 hours into the thread! :lol:

[Tornado F2]

http://outspokennyc.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/article-0-00C0B7F5000004B0-789_468x427.jpg

when you say 'talk'... you mean actually conversing?

Why does Debra Messing keep getting stuck with the wrong guys? Even on Ned & Stacey it was a phoney marriage (though a funny show). If I knew her I'm sure I'd more than just talk. :D

[manixc]

OP watch this video best...advice for you.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7e1jW9r2ps&feature=g-u-u

wow this guy is hilarious. thx

[Junigenmukyoku]

lol David So is awesome.

Well, OP, I'm glad that you got the dating thing over with her, but what's with the sigh? :-0 I thought you like talking to her...

[nalababe]

Best and longest/strongest relationships have been those that were friends first.

[tsat]

ITT: Men trying to explain how women think

Reality: Not even women understand how they think

[Ziggy007]

You're not even closed to friend zoned. In fact youre in a better place then most. Youve been placed in potential zone. Theres lots of girls who wont date friends, but wont date strangers either. I was (friends) with a girl for 2 months before we finally hooked up. She made the same excuses about (I dont know you) crap. The trick is dont stop showing interest. Dont act like you cant have her... thats when you get friend zoned. What you need to do is keep the friend zone out of her mind. Make sarcastic remarks about how you 2 are going to hook up sooner or later. Say other sexually suggestive stuff. All youre doing is pushing these thoughts into her head. Shes not going to friend zone you if shes constantly thinking about what its like to bang you. Then eventually she will give in. Alcohol on a night out will help.

Its when you dont remind a girl of sexual interest and be friends with her for a year+. Thats when you become true friend zoned

This is a ridiculous statement. Girls know if they want a guy fairly easily, if the guy asked her out and she said no, he is friend zoned.

Judging from the OPs posts ("we talk an hour a day" etc) he seems like one of those clingy pushover nice guys. This is going to get him nowhere in a hurry.

He may still have a small shot with the girl since it hasn't been that long now from what I understand, but he would have to play it balls out and see how it lands. He needs to tell her he doesn't need any more female friends and if that's where its going cut her out a bit. Being unavailable, a bit of an a-hole, and all that is what you need if you want to get the girls. Sad, but true.

[uber_shnitz]

The main way out fo the friendzone is to make your intentions clear. We're guys not girl; we don't beat around the bush and play mind games and try to ease our way into things. No, we just go into places and ask a question directly, bluntly and as precise as possible. So if you want to date a girl, you have to make it clear to her those are your intentions. If she's not interested that's fine, keep the option open if you really like her and go look elsewhere so as to not waste your time and emotions.

[SomeBodyElseisme]

So a few days ago, I got approached by a girl after class. We chatted for a bit but I didn't get her number. However, on Friday, she gave me her number. I thought she was definitely interested in me because that's pretty ballsy especially for a girl. I got friend-zoned a many times in the past so I decided that I'm not going to get friend-zoned by her. I asked her out on a date but she said "lets just be friends.. i don't even know you". WTF. She then talked about how she dated the wrong people in the past because she didn't know them well enough before dating.

It's so hard to avoid being friend-zoned. If girls who show interest in me still friend-zones me then how can I avoid getting friend-zoned when I'm the one showing interest.

Also, it feels like a Catch-22. She won't date me unless she knows me. But then that almost guarantees getting friend-zoned. She probably has tons of other male orbiters as friends. What's the likelihood that she'll pick me?

I think I'm going to just give up dating until my 30s when women become more serious about relationships.

EDIT: She's an Asian (7-8/10) and somewhat conservative (I guess ?).


OP, my opinion as a female:
Girls genereally want to be with someone they will feel comfortable with from the start. For some reason, Girls have decided that when a guy is too much of a Mr. Nice Guy, that's a "warning" sign as potentially violent down the road. Not sure why.

However, if the guy is not entirely Mr. nice guy, but a little hard to get, she finds him attractive. It's almost like she senses alpha male in the guy, because he shows he can take care of himself, and not let himself fall apart easily. And if she feels safe, she's comfortable. and that's of course will give her the signal the guy is a good catch.


Guys, you think girls nowadays act like LG's and being immature, I think the main problem is girls don't want to waste time dating around anymore, or they want to be careful not to get played. That's why they appear to be picky. They're being careful. They want to find the one guy they can see themselves with.

[SomeBodyElseisme]

So she asked for your number, she is interested. But she doesn't actually want to go on dates just yet, but curious what type of person you are.
Just play it smoothly.

[Psubs]

ITT: Men trying to explain how women think

Reality: Not even women understand how they think

THIS!!! That's why when they look back it doesn't make sense to them. :facepalm:

Really they just don't want to be bored. The a-hole will get her riled up, though it may not be healthy but it will turn her on. This is what they perceive as "chemistry". Guy chemistry is hotness and if they can get-along.

Just watched the movie "Take This Waltz". Girl is married to nice guy, they have boring sex. She meets normal guy but they have "chemistry" and she wants more than chicken.

Spoiler: They split and moves in with guy and some softcore scenes and "the new gets old too". She asks if there's a chance to get back with first guy and thank goodness he says no. Then she finds out how to be happy by herself.

You should also be distinct. Something about you. Some girls like hairy guys, some like artists, some like funny guys, just not nervous and boring.

[Buggy166]

THIS!!! That's why when they look back it doesn't make sense to them. :facepalm:

Really they just don't want to be bored. The a-hole will get her riled up, though it may not be healthy but it will turn her on. This is what they perceive as "chemistry". Guy chemistry is hotness and if they can get-along.

Just watched the movie "Take This Waltz". Girl is married to nice guy, they have boring sex. She meets normal guy but they have "chemistry" and she wants more than chicken.

Spoiler: They split and moves in with guy and some softcore scenes and "the new gets old too". She asks if there's a chance to get back with first guy and thank goodness he says no. Then she finds out how to be happy by herself.

You should also be distinct. Something about you. Some girls like hairy guys, some like artists, some like funny guys, just not nervous and boring.

im a triple threat? :lol:

[iEyeCaptain]

I read in a book once that girls like guys to open doors for them.

True story.

[spike1128]

I read in a book once that girls like guys to open doors for them.

True story.

Not true. You open door for them = friend zoned. You need to treat them like a jerk, then treat them like a princess, than jerk again. Confusion is your best friend.

Now, I don't know why OP is always posting he is getting friend zoned. It's obvious he has no game.

[danfromwaterloo]

So a few days ago, I got approached by a girl after class. We chatted for a bit but I didn't get her number. However, on Friday, she gave me her number. I thought she was definitely interested in me because that's pretty ballsy especially for a girl. I got friend-zoned a many times in the past so I decided that I'm not going to get friend-zoned by her. I asked her out on a date but she said "lets just be friends.. i don't even know you". WTF. She then talked about how she dated the wrong people in the past because she didn't know them well enough before dating.

It's so hard to avoid being friend-zoned. If girls who show interest in me still friend-zones me then how can I avoid getting friend-zoned when I'm the one showing interest.

Also, it feels like a Catch-22. She won't date me unless she knows me. But then that almost guarantees getting friend-zoned. She probably has tons of other male orbiters as friends. What's the likelihood that she'll pick me?

I think I'm going to just give up dating until my 30s when women become more serious about relationships.

EDIT: She's an Asian (7-8/10) and somewhat conservative (I guess ?).

Here's my rules. They worked for me. Hopefully, they'll work for you too.

Rule 1: Treat women as if they were your guy friends, or guys in general. You would be surprised - shocked actually - how easy it is to talk to women when you don't have this whole "I want sex" expectation in your head. Go in as if they were guys and you'll have an easier time of it.

Rule 2: Never, ever, ever put yourself in a passive role. This means, crudely, don't put the p*ssy on a pedestal. If she wants to go see The Notebook and you aren't feeling it, don't. If she asks you over to fix her router, and you had plans with your friends, don't bail on them. Don't go out of your way to be a jerk, but don't be taken advantage of. Back to rule 1, do for them what you would do for your guy friends.

Rule 3: Man up. After you've made contact, shown your no pushover, ask her out. If she says no or no thanks, write it off and move on.

Rule 4: (and I can't stress this enough) Don't play games. Play straight up. You know the whole "don't call her for three days after your date"? Screw it. Call her the next day and say "I know I'm supposed to wait three days before calling you, but I had a great time last night, and I wanted to make sure I asked you out for next Saturday before someone else beat me to it."

Rule 5: Let her chase - a little. Don't be too available. This isn't a game, which would contradict rule 4, but rather a juxtaposition of gender roles. Guys are supposed to be the hunters, and women the prey. Only problem is, in the modern world (last ~30 years), women have taken a liking to being the hunters. Let them. Give her your phone number, not the opposite. This goes double for pretty girls, who are fully used to being hit on all over the place. If you shock her at the end of a meeting at a bar with "Hey, look, my buddies and I are headed out now. I had a really great time talking to you - here's my number, you should call me" and leave. If there was any attraction on her part, she's gonna call you.


The biggest rule that I can give it though is to learn to identify women who aren't interested in you and move on. Repeat after me: girls that have friendzoned you will NEVER EVER SLEEP WITH YOU. Keep them as friends if you actually view them as friends. If she's just some girl that you're trying to bed, it isn't gonna happen. Move along to the next possibility. IMO, friendzoning is the way women tell you that they're not interested without ever saying no.

[RFDexter]

what's wrong with being friendzoned? being friends with girls mean they will bring you around their friends meaning MORE OPTIONS :)

[LaserEnvy]

Make one final, clear attempt at getting into her pants. If she doesn't open up, say goodbye and cut all contact. The only reason why women put guys in the friend zone is because having the guy around boosts their ego. If you have any self-respect, you wouldn't put up with that crap.

[Rainne]

lol @ the op

you already lost the battle before it was fought

[Psubs]

im a triple threat? :lol:

:-0

Time for a Bear Sandwich!!!

[d182]

what's wrong with being friendzoned? being friends with girls mean they will bring you around their friends meaning MORE OPTIONS :)

Not if you're talking to her for an hour every night. You think she'll tell her girls that you would be quite the catch if you did that? I have my doubts :razz:

[Mars2012]

Rule 1: Treat women as if they were your guy friends, or guys in general. You would be surprised - shocked actually - how easy it is to talk to women when you don't have this whole "I want sex" expectation in your head. Go in as if they were guys and you'll have an easier time of it.

But with less farting and belching, please.

[Kingmoo]

Just so you know, 99% of the great advice that you read here is only good because people on the internets can problem solve any situation methodically. Put these people into a real world situation and there is slim to no chance that they stick by their guns.

BTW there is no way you got "insta-friend zoned". It takes a lot of work to get friend-zoned

[JAC]

BTW there is no way you got "inta-friend zoned". It takes a lot of work to get friend-zoned

Nope. A woman decides within the first 30 seconds of meeting a guy if she's going to sleep with him, so some guys will be friend-zoned immediately. Others, like you say, will blow it later on.

The best way to get out of the friend zone is to use her as your wingman. If you pick up another chick right in front of her, and ditch her at the bar with the new chick, it'll drive her nuts.

[nalababe]

Nope. A woman decides within the first 30 seconds of meeting a guy if she's going to sleep with him, so some guys will be friend-zoned immediately. Others, like you say, will blow it later on.

The best way to get out of the friend zone is to use her as your wingman. If you pick up another chick right in front of her, and ditch her at the bar with the new chick, it'll drive her nuts.

Not really true. That is only true for a quick shag, not a relationship.

Most of the long term relationships I know within the first 30 seconds, they wouldn't have given the person the time of day...

[lordnikon]

Nope. A woman decides within the first 30 seconds of meeting a guy if she's going to sleep with him, so some guys will be friend-zoned immediately. Others, like you say, will blow it later on.


That kind of woman is a slut.

[CRAZYBUBBA]

That kind of woman is a slut.
I guess that makes me and my 3 sisters all sluts.

[uber_shnitz]

Well my gf said she didn't want to go out with me when I asked so idk if she had already decided to sleep with me despite saying no :lol:

[stealth]

I guess that makes me and my 3 sisters all sluts.

Pics?

[mysticalinfluence]

Really? Really?

All the advice about telling the OP to be someone he's not and catch all tips to help get girls?

The irony here is the advice is coming from RFD members and he's actually taken it seriously. This like asking a short order cook to overhaul your truck engine. :facepalm:

[Buggy166]

What women think, say or mean are 3 separate things That are never directly related to each other (unlike most mens behaviour). There no manual to use. You like it, you try, you get rejected, next or stay around for another few rounds of rejection until the girl realizes shes got no other better options and she gives in. Thats the only 2 ways guys pick up partners. Yes on the first try or okay on the 10th.

[ottofly]

Nope. A woman decides within the first 30 seconds of meeting a guy if she's going to sleep with him, so some guys will be friend-zoned immediately. Others, like you say, will blow it later on.

The best way to get out of the friend zone is to use her as your wingman. If you pick up another chick right in front of her, and ditch her at the bar with the new chick, it'll drive her nuts.

LOL...Complete and utter nonsense brought to you by the PUA society. This just another of the many examples of the typical RFD'er getting all his experience not from real life but from reading the internet pick up sites.

In the late 80's mid 90's era there was no internet, no cell phones, no emails no texting and no Facebooks/MSN, at least no one I knew had them yet. Girls also would not give their phone numbers, more like parents phone numbers, liberally as well. If you wanted a date or any friends you had to pound the pavement/school/dances and do it face to face like a man and you also got shot down in public. I guess they call this "alpha male" today. :facepalm: In my experience not one girl ever said yes to a first invitation especially if you ask very quickly after meeting. The defense shield always goes up. It's normal to test and see how serious a guy is and no girl wants to look too desperate. OP's first mistake was asking way too quickly. Just collect yourself and try again after you've developed at least some comic/flirtatious rapport with her. And don't use the word "date" either. Friend zoned within 30 seconds happens only if you're a hideous troll IMO.

[desphinx]

http://thechive.com/2012/07/09/welcome-to-the-friendzone-24-photos/

[RolandCouch]

I wouldn't even bother contacting her. She's playing games with you. No time for BS.

[Buggy166]

:-0

Time for a Bear Sandwich!!!

no thank you sir. im more of a kitty taco kinda guy.

[LostInTruth]

Be that guy instead.

[hany1991]

If you seriously want to her attention, quickly proposed her not think.......

[iEyeCaptain]

http://thechive.com/2012/07/09/welcome-to-the-friendzone-24-photos/

I lol'ed.

[danfromwaterloo]

But with less farting and belching, please.

Women fart and belch more than guys.

[Mars2012]

Women fart and belch more than guys.

You haven't lived in my house.

[Troodon]

UPDATE 2:

I don't want to be friends with her anymore. I just realized how bad of deal it is.

There's no guarantee that being friends with her for a certain amount of time will turn the friendship into a relationship. Furthermore, since she probably has many other male friends vying for attention... the probability of me dating her is low.

Honestly, if I weren't interested in her sexually, I wouldn't even give her my number. I'm not interested in more friends right now and I'm very busy as it is.

If we don't make out by the end of the week then it's over.

[Wilmega]

^ lol - trying too hard OP - stop over thinking things. It's just a girl. no need to plan everything 3 steps ahead.

[spike1128]

^ lol - trying too hard OP - stop over thinking things. It's just a girl. no need to plan everything 3 steps ahead.

That's why he is not getting any.

[Homer88]

Hey oranr. Why isn't this thread closed yet? Half the posts here aren't even useful.

[LaserEnvy]

Hey oranr. Why isn't this thread closed yet? Half the posts here aren't even useful.

The man is just trying to get laid. Why you ***** blocking?

[Hairball]

The man is just trying to get laid. Why you ***** blocking?

Exactly, we should be helping each other get out of the friend zone.

[iEyeCaptain]

Exactly, we should be helping each other get out of the friend zone.

http://media.giantbomb.com/uploads/3/32178/2151976-dont-worry-sir-im-from-the-internet.jpg

[Buggy166]

Exactly, we should be helping each other get out of the friend zone.

i only care about the ozone

[Hairball]

i only care about the ozone

The ozone layer?

http://www.theozonehole.com/images/index.39.jpg

[Homer88]

The man is just trying to get laid. Why you ***** blocking?

Sorry bro. I'll go back to lurking.

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/082/456/Okay.png

[d182]

The ozone layer?

[/IMG]

No - The Ozone Drink http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS7A5Zg218AdPXg77J1m0Aj9F9GKRv6g FfirwJOifjcZe1D21-e:www.hatalska.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/OzoneDrink.png

[Homer88]

UPDATE 2:

I don't want to be friends with her anymore. I just realized how bad of deal it is.

There's no guarantee that being friends with her for a certain amount of time will turn the friendship into a relationship. Furthermore, since she probably has many other male friends vying for attention... the probability of me dating her is low.

Honestly, if I weren't interested in her sexually, I wouldn't even give her my number. I'm not interested in more friends right now and I'm very busy as it is.

If we don't make out by the end of the week then it's over.

Ask her out for drinks. 100000000% success rate guaranteed if she was interested in you.

[BuddyGuy]

No - The Ozone Drink http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS7A5Zg218AdPXg77J1m0Aj9F9GKRv6g FfirwJOifjcZe1D21-e:www.hatalska.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/OzoneDrink.png

"New, bigger size."

[wilsonlam97]

No - The Ozone Drink http://t3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS7A5Zg218AdPXg77J1m0Aj9F9GKRv6g FfirwJOifjcZe1D21-e:www.hatalska.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/OzoneDrink.png

Good PR team.

[thestar99]

Dont waste your time with her. Just ignore her and move on to other girls. Women love attention and when you ignore them they will do everything to get attention

[jaxx lite]

UPDATE 2:

I don't want to be friends with her anymore.

There's no guarantee that being friends with her for a certain amount of time will turn the friendship into a relationship.

Honestly, if I weren't interested in her sexually, I wouldn't even give her my number. I'm not interested in more friends right now and I'm very busy as it is.


You are 100% correct.

She will never date you.

Move on to next girl

=

[brunes]

That's another strange thing: Why are girls attracted to vampires? (But not other monsters). Is it the stay young forever vanity aspect? Or just very effective PR?

Quote of the year. Adding to my sig.

[manixc]

I like your thread. Way better than Deals^3 ones and you provide us with updates too.

What did the girl say when he told her you don't want to be friends?

[missmaldita]

I think friendship is a foundation for a great relationship. So I friendzone all my guy friends first :P lol Even though when they tell me they like me, I just say "I want to be friends first".

[Kingmoo]

I think friendship is a foundation for a great relationship. So I friendzone all my guy friends first :P lol Even though when they tell me they like me, I just say "I want to be friends first".

you are a bad person

[forthewinwin]

Lol, this is the primary source of rants from men.

Anyways, the boundary between friends and lovers is a stiff wall... Don't get into her friends side.

If she appears to want to friend you, steer away quick before you take a blow to your ego, unless you're so adamant on being her friend and nothing more...

Women are generally quite good at expressing their intentions... If it doesn't seem like it it's most likely too good to be true. You'll know when something nice is happening.

[Wilmega]

I think friendship is a foundation for a great relationship. So I friendzone all my guy friends first :P lol Even though when they tell me they like me, I just say "I want to be friends first".

just remember when you're talking to them as friends just know that all they're thinking about is your tittays and banging you.

[arg30]

The thread's sort of ran its course already, but I figured I'd throw in my 2 cents for the future, OP.

Being friend-zoned is just another way of telling you that you're not attractive enough. This isn't necessarily based on looks - it can be because you aren't sexual, you're too nice, etc.

But it's also a myth that once you're friend-zoned, you're stuck there. I prefer the friend-zone because you learn more about the other person and I don't have trouble getting out of it. I only date best friends for that reason; especially since you'll actually know what you're getting into, instead of discovering how much a person can change a couple of months in.

But what you can change without losing yourself,(since you're an inherently nice guy) is your degree of assertiveness in situations. Just BE assertive. You don't have to be an ***** - you just have to be fair. And sometimes being fair means walking away 'cause you're not willing to be friend-zoned or you just don't deserve it.

The reason women separate the best friend from the boyfriend is because they don't want to risk putting all of their eggs in one basket. When their bf breaks up with them, they've still got the best friend. But what they don't realize, is that they get a fuller, longer-lasting relationship with the best friend. Again, nice vs. fair is a safe-enough change to undergo without losing who you think is really you. You'll also see that other parts of your life will fall into place when you're not overly nice.

[manixc]

I think friendship is a foundation for a great relationship. So I friendzone all my guy friends first :P lol Even though when they tell me they like me, I just say "I want to be friends first".

So have you ever let a guy go from friend to boyfriend?
And how long did that take?

[uber_shnitz]

My girlfriend was my friend before becoming my girlfriend (I asked her out maybe at the end of summer after meeting her). I actually don't know of many couples where the 2 people never knew each other and just randomly started dating :razz: I think that's more common as people grow older and go on "dates" as a means to get to know one another because of tight schedules.

[missmaldita]

So have you ever let a guy go from friend to boyfriend?
And how long did that take?

Yes, one was like a year..and the other 6-8 months?

[7jai]

OP, you are playing it WAYYY to quick my friend. Honestly, you have to play a bit of hard to get. Girls want a chase, they don't want you to immediately and bluntly ask them out after a few week so knowing them. Heck, nowadays, do people even say the words "will you go on a date with me?" I really dont think so.

What you need to start doing is to play it cool, and just be "friends". Let's say you ARE interested in a girl, just be 'around' her once in a while, and build a strong connection with her (ie: share funny stores, share personal stuff such as family/friends/ex's etc...). Once you build the strong connection, she will then start coming to you more often just to "talk"/"chat". When that happens, you start kinda give her "some" attention, but at the same time show her that you are "busy" as well with other people etc... She will then start to realize that she actually misses you and likes your company. When she does that, that's when you know you can actually slowly make something work with her.

You NEVER ever bluntly tell people you like them or you wanna date them. You do it through little actions and through "playing hard to get" techniques. To me, it sounds like your biggest mistake is that you come off as desperate and you just wnat to get a girlfriend ASAP. When girls feel that pressure/desperation, they immediately back off from you as they sense there is something really wrong with you.

My 2 cents, good luck!

[Mr.Sea]

If I girl asked me for my number, I would decline. And if she asked me why, I would say "because I don't know you."

See what I did there? Flip the script homeboy.

[iEyeCaptain]

If I girl asked me for my number, I would decline. And if she asked me why, I would say "because I don't know you."

See what I did there? Flip the script homeboy.

Happened in Hitch. Worked for Will Smith.

[sylpherware]

Happened in Hitch. Worked for Will Smith.

Yea, only for Will Smith.

[chimaican]

Just man up and act out your intentions. Too much time is wasted in younger years chasing tail and girls who aren't interested. If she ain't interested and wants to be friends, fine, be friends and move on. Maybe she'll have a hotter friend who won't be as screwy. Treat her like a friend, and check out other girls when you're with her. If she's just a friend, then she'll rate the other girls and this will help you, and if she really does want you, she'll get jealous and you'll still get your way. Either way, stop whining.

[sylpherware]

If she ain't interested and wants to be friends, fine, be friends and move on. Maybe she'll have a hotter friend who won't be as screwy. Treat her like a friend, and check out other girls when you're with her. If she's just a friend, then she'll rate the other girls and this will help you, and if she really does want you, she'll get jealous and you'll still get your way. Either way, stop whining.

+ 1/0

"Rage quit" is the problem with people today - You mistreat me once or twice, and I'm done with you. Why burn bridges? There are all these "networking" sites out there, but people seem to forget the REAL purpose of "networking".

OP, is that girl a loner? Is she bat-sh** crazy? Do you think you will not get a good "reference" if you stayed as a friend? I hung around the girl who friend-zoned me, and, guess what, I'm dating one of her friends now. AND with the first girl's blessings too!

Meeting a girl with a mutual friend is so much easier than meeting a random person. Unless OP likes the challenge, of course.