Does your girlfriend/wife gets along with your mom?

[Jasonandme]

As stated in topic, does your girlfriend/wife gets along with your mom?
I used to think 'why not'. But after a certain period of time, it seems like things arent as 'straight forward' as I thought.

Share your experience. Thx

[stealth]

In my family, we all got along with our in laws until our babies were born....then in almost every instance, the relationships with the in laws got very tense and even included a big blow up or 2, with long periods of awkwardness afterwards.

[longitude]

They get along so well that sometimes they conspire against me........ :D

[LaserEnvy]

As stated in topic, does your girlfriend/wife gets along with your mom?
I used to think 'why not'. But after a certain period of time, it seems like things arent as 'straight forward' as I thought.

Share your experience. Thx

You first.

[yucksta]

So far, so good...but they've just met recently. One thing is creepy though, they have the same birth month and day, but technically my mom's birthday is fictional, since they didn't track that when/where she was born.

[valinrace]

I would say yes until now but I really cant say in the future because I just got married like last month.

[pai]

not married, dont really not get along, but we just dont talk much..
i avoid seeing his mother unless its the really big holidays ie/ christmas...

i dont see the need to hang out with his folks, when we are not even married.
he comes to my family gatherings, coz of the free food and drinks, and dont really talk much.
but when i go to his parents, its alwaysjust them two, and me and bf.... often quiet .....so i dont quite enjoy my stay

[stealth]

not married, dont really not get along, but we just dont talk much..
i avoid seeing his mother unless its the really big holidays ie/ christmas...

i dont see the need to hang out with his folks, when we are not even married.
he comes to my family gatherings, coz of the free food and drinks, and dont really talk much.
but when i go to his parents, its alwaysjust them two, and me and bf.... often quiet .....so i dont quite enjoy my stay

sorry, I lol'd...you guys sound like an old married couple.

[Vanno]

They get along so well that sometimes they conspire against me........ :D

Haha...same here.

[Piro21]

I don't even get along with my mom, so I don't expect her to.

[pai]

i should add that his family speaks another language at home, and my family speaks something else..
so that's why we just kinda stay polite and nod. dont really talk much

[stealth]

I don't even get along with my mom, so I don't expect her to.

same here.

[sweeper]

Don't have a gf atm but my mother has an intense dislike of my brother's gf. She's scared he's going to marry her lol.

[diggler649]

On the flip side, I hated my in-laws. I hated my mother-in-law, had absoultely no respect for the father-in-law (lazy ****) and hated the sister-in-law. I would say the in-laws were probably around 25% the reason for my separation. I would literally get depressed everytime I had to visit them, which was only around 5-6 times a year.

[tsat]

In my family, we all got along with our in laws until our babies were born....then in almost every instance, the relationships with the in laws got very tense and even included a big blow up or 2, with long periods of awkwardness afterwards.

This. But it's me and her parents that don't mesh... Once the kids were born they didn't like my stance of "thanks for the input but they're my kids and I'll raise them how i see fit". That pretty much ended the honey moon right there, which I'm ok with b/c there's nothing more annoying than someone telling you how you should be raising your kids and I'd tell my parents the same thing.


I don't even get along with my mom, so I don't expect her to.

+1

But i have an easy method to keep my mother in check. I just told her that if she wanted to regularly see her grand kids she'll play nice, going on 6 years with no problems.

[Jasonandme]

I dont know if its just me, but as I grow older, i find it hard to get along with my mom; even harder after I introduce her my girlfriend.
We seem to have different opinions on everything now. Its kindda a headache.

[boonjaca]

They get along very well, my mom is pretty happy I ended up with her. I'm pretty sure my in-laws like me. It kind of works for me since I don't really understand what my mother-in-law is saying to me most of the time.

[LaserEnvy]

+1

But i have an easy method to keep my mother in check. I just told her that if she wanted to regularly see her grand kids she'll play nice, going on 6 years with no problems.

Blackmail...I like it!

[setell]

Had no issues with the ex's family. Nor did I have any issues with ex's extended family as well. If you got issues with the in-laws then the best thing to do is get the child to tell the parent to not muck around vs the "other" party do the dirty work. Usually that works as the message is "don't crap with me or I will block you out of my life". Once they get that message they back away and things are much better.

[flashy_mcflash]

I get along well with everyone in my gf's family (sometimes feel like they like me better than her, ahaha) and she got along well enough with my late parents. My gf was an absolute rock and tremendous support when they died as well. Not sure how I would've held up otherwise.

[stupidducky]

As of right now I have been living with my in-laws for the past 4 years so basically ever since me and the boyfriend got together. I love his family like my own we get along pretty good and even his aunts and uncles love me lol. In fact I am pretty close with his cousins :) When the boyfriend got me a promise he wanted to spend 1K on it but his mother refused to let him buy it here and so she took the money and went to Washington to buy it.

He gets along with my parents as well, we try to see my mom about once a week and my dad every weekend because my parents are divorced. I guess I got it good :)

[holden]

As of right now I have been living with my in-laws for the past 4 years so basically ever since me and the boyfriend got together. I love his family like my own we get along pretty good and even his aunts and uncles love me lol. In fact I am pretty close with his cousins :) When the boyfriend got me a promise he wanted to spend 1K on it but his mother refused to let him buy it here and so she took the money and went to Washington to buy it.

He gets along with my parents as well, we try to see my mom about once a week and my dad every weekend because my parents are divorced. I guess I got it good :)

How old is he? Can we put this one under the column for guys living with their parents?

[transitguy1]

My in-laws are continents away and they can't just get here as they need a visa. Little chance of them getting that. They're good but I like them far away.

My wife gets along very well with my parents and siblings though. Joint family, so far so good.

[Manatus]

My in-laws are continents away and they can't just get here as they need a visa. Little chance of them getting that. They're good but I like them far away.

My wife gets along very well with my parents and siblings though. Joint family, so far so good.

Same but switched... my parents are across the world, just where I like 'em. We meet them maybe twice a year, if that, and it's all polite and whatever. I get along pretty well with the in-laws (who I see much more frequently than my parents), they're good people.

[sandikosh]

Not me. My gf parents calls me a loser. Then I say so is your daughter! Then we all laugh in agreement!

[4flava]

not me. My gf parents calls me a loser. Then i say so is your daughter! Then we all laugh in agreement!

loser!

[deltone]

.

[stupidducky]

How old is he? Can we put this one under the column for guys living with their parents?

We are both 21.

[armadillo]

Can I speak as the wife? I get along really well with my mother-in-law, considerably better than I do my own mother (though, as my husband says, "familiarity breeds contempt"). I've been her daughter-in-law for over six years and lived with her a few months at the beginning of my marriage. I have heard horror stories about in-laws, so I guess I should feel pretty blessed.

[wilsonlam97]

Not me. My gf parents calls me a loser. Then I say so is your daughter! Then we all laugh in agreement!

Lol whut?

[starkiller2010]

Lets step up the question; do your parents and family get along with your SOs parents and family? Does that matter?

[tsxnation]

My mom hated one of my exes with a passion but really got along well with my most recent ex.

[tsat]

Lets step up the question; do your parents and family get along with your SOs parents and family? Does that matter?

yes they do... But my mom thinks that my SO's parents are morons, but she has some kind of god complex so it doesn't really matter. No-one likes my mom.

[zoltorg]

Like all mothers, mine is fiercely protective. She wanted me to be with someone that was intelligent, self-sufficient, able to tolerate me (not so easy) and above all, make me happy. She's seen a few poor choices but thoroughly loves the one I've been with for four years. So yeah, it works out well, we are all pretty easy going. You just have to get used to the fact that noone is exempt from being made fun of.

[Rainne]

Yes she does.

[Catherine111]

But as a girl i would also say that "why not". Although i have not married yet but i must cherish my mentality that i would have to stay with my husband's mom. Actually what are the problems there if i will accept her like my own mom. But for other family members like a joint family i may say "No" but with mom it's ok. :)

[sandikosh]

Lol whut?

If they think I am a loser, then their daughter is also a loser since she is dating me!

[ji2o0k]

My gf and my mom get along ok....though I know my mom over-analyzes things too much and scrutinizes what she does...

I get along with her parents ok but not too keen on her mom....she appears all nice but is a little two-faced apparently....and she can be very stubborn in her ways and opinions...

This. But it's me and her parents that don't mesh... Once the kids were born they didn't like my stance of "thanks for the input but they're my kids and I'll raise them how i see fit". That pretty much ended the honey moon right there, which I'm ok with b/c there's nothing more annoying than someone telling you how you should be raising your kids and I'd tell my parents the same thing.not equating your kids to my puppy but something similar occured when I bought a puppy for my gf and I.

I did a ton of research on how to raise and train my puppy and had agreement with my family on how I wanted to raise my puppy....but her parents had other opinions and didn't agree with my training methods and approach.

My response was "thanks for your opinions but seeing as this is MY puppy, I'll do it my way thanks".....lead to numerous discussions and even my gf thought it was too much...during these discussions/arguments, her mom's true nature appeared and since then, I haven't been too keen on what she says or take it with a grain of salt...

2 years later, we have a very obedient and well-behaved doggy but of course no one thanks me or my side of the family for our approach...to make matters worse, her parents have fallen in love with our doggy and now I have to split time with my doggy with them....sheeeshh.....

[Forhad]

I don't have a girlfriend so get a gf first;)

[windforcexx28]

yes they do... But my mom thinks that my SO's parents are morons, but she has some kind of god complex so it doesn't really matter. No-one likes my mom.

:lol:

[BuddyGuy]

yes they do... But my mom thinks that my SO's parents are morons, but she has some kind of god complex so it doesn't really matter. No-one likes my mom.

I think we may be long-lost siblings.

You'd be surprised on how common BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) is... especially amongst mothers.

[Kunman]

yes they do... But my mom thinks that my SO's parents are morons, but she has some kind of god complex so it doesn't really matter. No-one likes my mom.

is your mom my dad??

[aquacrayon]

i'm timid around them. they're well-rounded people...and i'm not. lol.

[dragon_drift]

My ex used to until she pissed off my mom too.

[goodguy90]

My ex's parents disliked me.. haha. She'd tell me they weren't comfortable with her dating an Indian guy.

[flyinggonzo]

As stated in topic, does your girlfriend/wife gets along with your mom?
I used to think 'why not'. But after a certain period of time, it seems like things arent as 'straight forward' as I thought.

Share your experience. Thx

Things are never straightforward between two women. Remember that.

[dibksbgon]

Lets step up the question; do your parents and family get along with your SOs parents and family? Does that matter?

Been with hubby for five years.
My parents have only met with my husband's mom and step-dad twice. Same with his step-mom and dad but they frequently email and so forth and as my mom says she can relate to them more. And one of both of those times was the wedding. I also only met my husband's father and step-mom the night before our wedding. Also happened to be the first time in 10 or so years that my husband had spoke to his father/seen his father.
My parents love my husband and my husband loves my parents. Especially my mom.


To original question: Definitely love my husband's step mom. She is crazy and awesome and just a real doll. My husband's mom is seldom around and I can't really relate to her. Neither can my husband anymore. There is no fighting or anything. God no. I am polite and get along with her. Just in terms of compatibility, I have nothing really in common.

[setell]

Lets step up the question; do your parents and family get along with your SOs parents and family? Does that matter?

Yup. My parents got along with the ex's folks. No issues. They weren't best buds but got along well enough that there wasn't any headaches.

[nalababe]

Get a long..sure.
Would they ever be best friends? No.
Do I care? Nope.

[at1212b]

Mine are good.

You have to learn to get your mom in line as well as your gf/wife.

In reality, it is also a strong reflection of your own self, how others respect you and your ability to shape your own life and influence others as a Man.

[Chuck Garabedian]

If you have a girlfriend/boyfriend, and:

1. You think this could become serious in the future
2. You value your relationship with your family
3. They do not get along with each other now and you've made serious efforts to improve the relationships between the two

Then do yourself a favor now, time to find anew girlfriend/boyfriend and save yourself a TON of hardship in the future. Trust me, I am there now and it's no fun whatsoever as I got married to the girl and my family and her still do not get along. If I would have done it again, early on I would have likely left the relationship. I'm married now and am serious about the committment but the stress of the situation really gets me down.

[dibksbgon]

^But in making the decision (to move on or continue), the reasons for the discord should be looked at.

There are a lot of really bullish parents out there that need to be shut down by their son's/daughter's to mind their own business if they refuse to be supportive and are overtly critical for stupid reasons. But alas a lot of son's/daughters allow their parents to trample on their relationship. On the other hand, sometimes concerns and conflict is rightful.


I know it sounds so bad, but I watched an episode of Dr. Phil last week (I was bored do not hold it against me) and there was the most insulting mother on the show who was saying the most demeaning and horrible things about her son in law and the daughter just stood there saying nothing. She was truly offensive demeaning this guy who happened to be a firefighter/paramedic. She was also pushing stupid notions of 50s feminism on her daughter

Edit: Forgot to say, sorry for your issues however and I hope it resolves itself.

[uber_shnitz]

Well at the end of the day it's the other person's life whether we agree on it or not. Parents will sometimes disapprove because they think it won't work or that the other person is taking advantage of you (and you can't see it) and sometimes they will disapprove simply because they nitpick and are difficult. As a person, you have to learn to differentiate between both. Ask other people (friends, workmates, anyone who knows you half well) what they think as they're sometimes more objective and if you have recurring answers maybe that's a red flag.

That being said, my gf and mom get along great but my cousin's gf for example nobody in the family likes her because we think she oversteps her boundaries (she always stays over at his place). However, my aunt is very lenient so she lets things slide because she wants her son to be happy. We don't like it, but since it's his life we tolerate and accept it (we've also had discussions with him over this) so at the end of the day that's all you can and should do IMO as family in regards to significant others.

[i6s1]

My wife and mom (and sisters) get along great.

[myversa]

Married and she can get along with my mom but she does not like her.

[saint2e]

I get along famously with the in-laws and my wife gets along famously with my family.

I really think the notion of getting on with your in-laws is a key component of a strong marriage. Not an essential one, per se, but if you don't get along with the in-laws it can cause stress on the marriage itself.

[King of Clones]

As stated in topic, does your girlfriend/wife gets along with your mom?
I used to think 'why not'. But after a certain period of time, it seems like things arent as 'straight forward' as I thought.

Share your experience. Thx

My Mom is great lady...over 70 years she's had no major rifts with anybody. If anybody has trouble getting along with her I know who caused.

[sleepyguy]

Been with GF for 11yrs now. Almost EVERYONE she meets instantly really likes her... she's very social and friendly to everyone. Both my parents liked her right of the bat... my mom especially. Kinda funny, 3rd time they met her... my mom says "when are you going to marry this girl before she gets tired of you!" lol.