Help! What to give as a wedding gift??

[rpw_1]

I'm invited to a wedding this weekend. The card says nothing about a wedding gift registry. And, obviously, I have left it too late to call up the family and ask. Any thoughts on what I can do in the situation?

Should I buy a gift? Or, just give money? If giving money, how much is appropriate? And, should it be cheque, cash, or gift card? Is it tacky to give cash? And, if it's a cheque, who should it be made out to?

Thanks!

[kingofwale]

I'm invited to a wedding this weekend. The card says nothing about a wedding gift registry. And, obviously, I have left it too late to call up the family and ask. Any thoughts on what I can do in the situation?

Should I buy a gift? Or, just give money? If giving money, how much is appropriate? And, should it be cheque, cash, or gift card? Is it tacky to give cash? And, if it's a cheque, who should it be made out to?

Thanks!

cash is fine. I personally would give cheque.

how much is based on how close you are to the person and how fancy the party is. I am not going to tell you what to give, I know nothing of you.


as for the cheque, make it out to the government of Canada..... DUH!!!

[rpw_1]

cash is fine. I personally would give cheque.

how much is based on how close you are to the person and how fancy the party is. I am not going to tell you what to give, I know nothing of you.


as for the cheque, make it out to the government of Canada..... DUH!!!

lol, no I meant should it be made out to the bride or the groom (I'm friends with both)? I don't think it can be made out to both of them together because they might not have a joint account.

Thanks for the other advice!

[althetrainer]

Cash is always good but gift card should do too. The closer you are to the couple the more $$ you are expected to give. It also depends on their culture too. I usually give $50 for someone I don't know very well. For closer friends I definitely will give $100 or more.

[kingofwale]

lol, no I meant should it be made out to the bride or the groom (I'm friends with both)? I don't think it can be made out to both of them together because they might not have a joint account.

Thanks for the other advice!

so? didn't need a joint account to deposit a cheque. Did you know you can deposit anyone's cheque as long as they give you the permission to do so?

ALways.. ALWAYS make it out to both, how would you feel that if you get married and the gifts are only address to the other person?

[deltone]

Actually, it's not always best to make it out to both. Some people don't have joint accounts. Also, don't make the mistake of making it out to the bride, UNLESS you know whether she is keeping her name because if she is taking her husband's name, it will take some time before her accounts wiill show the new name and it will delay them being able to cash the cheque. I know of many who had problems with this. Seeing you don't know their circumstances, I would make the cheque in the groom's name but make sure it's clear on the card that it's for both (although I'm sure they'll figure that out on their own).

As far as how much, depends on so many things and you didn't give enough details BUT at the end of the day, don't give more than you can comfortably afford.

[Hairball]

The best wedding gift is a toaster, just give that. Don't waste so much time in life worrying so much about these minute details.

[deltone]

so? didn't need a joint account to deposit a cheque. Did you know you can deposit anyone's cheque as long as they give you the permission to do so?

ALways.. ALWAYS make it out to both, how would you feel that if you get married and the gifts are only address to the other person?

Actually, some banks won't cash a third party cheque. I tried to cash a bank draught the other day which was made out to my husband but I could not deposit it into my own chequing account and we do have the same last name. Third party cheques never used to be a problem but they can be now.

[kingofwale]

Actually, some banks won't cash a third party cheque. I tried to cash a bank draught the other day which was made out to my husband but I could not deposit it into my own chequing account and we do have the same last name. Third party cheques never used to be a problem but they can be now.

the difference is a 'bank draft". which is a certified cheque. And it's ONLY in your husband's name. If it's in both you guy's name, then do you think there will be a problem?

Don't know why you would tell OP to make the cheque only to the guy's name, when yourself had such a problem with it.

[deltone]

the difference is a 'bank draft". which is a certified cheque. And it's ONLY in your husband's name. If it's in both you guy's name, then do you think there will be a problem?

Don't know why you would tell OP to make the cheque only to the guy's name, when yourself had such a problem with it.

I have also had a problem with a regular check. They flat out wouldn't let me deposit it. As far as putting it in the groom's name, it's only because I know of many people who have had a problem with cashing and or depositing cheques put in both names and also there is the issue with people putting the cheque in the bride's new married name but it takes time for her to get all of her id and accounts changed over. I'm not just talking out of my butt. I know many who have had problems with cashing the cheques but if it's in the groom's name, it's trouble free.

As far as my having a problem with the cheque being in my husband's name, in MY case, it was because I needed to deposit in my own personal account (not a joint account) and because it was in his name, they wouldn't let me. Seeing that the OP doesn't necessarily know if this couple has a joint account, and what name the bride is going to have, it's just much easier, trouble free and tidier to put it in the groom's name as the liklihood that he will be changing his name is pretty slim.

[BluePhirePB]

inb4IT'SOURFAULTFORINVITINGTHEM

Don't do what two cheapasses did for my wedding:

A $35 GC to Mastermind Toys
Two regular admission Cineplex movie vouchers

This post-it note in place of a wedding card:

http://i50.tinypic.com/dr7es9.jpg

I should also add she bragged/insulted some of my other guests by telling them she knew she'd be invited and took three full packed boxes of deserts when she left. Her bf (who's a complete tool) followed her around.

[Simaahoy]

Don't do what two cheapasses did for my wedding:

A $35 GC to Mastermind Toys
Two regular admission Cineplex movie vouchers

This post-it note in place of a wedding card:

http://i50.tinypic.com/dr7es9.jpg

I should also add she bragged/insulted some of my other guests by telling them she knew she'd be invited and took three full packed boxes of deserts when she left. Her bf (who's a complete tool) followed her around.

My condolences

[george__]

A expensive coffee maker or blender or toaster with a card :D

[armadillo]

Why not just save the bride and groom the hassle and give them cash in a nice card, rather than having them worry about whether they can cash the cheque?
I typically get a nice, crisp $100 bill and put it into a pretty card with a kind note. The amount to give depends on who's wedding it is (i.e. their relationship to you). As we don't attend many weddings, and most are family, I like to give $100 if it's extended family and a bit more if it's immediate family. Of course that also depends on how much you're able to give - less or more. I just figure that $100 is a nice, round number that everyone can appreciate. When my brother got married, I gave significantly more and also purchased them some nice, practical totes from Lands End. Many people feel that cash is impersonal, but isn't that what everyone really wants? :) I just want to give the bride and groom what's most helpful. Hope that helps!

[1892HCO]

What is the going gift rate for a lunch ceremony?

[Simaahoy]

Pre-Paid Visa cards

[jaxx lite]

Go to bank and ask for new $50 bills

$100 - $200 should be enough

-

[armadillo]

What is the going gift rate for a lunch ceremony?

Is there a difference between a lunch and dinner ceremony? I got married in the morning and had a brunch for my guests, but it wasn't less formal than it would have been if I'd held it at night. To my knowledge, the 'going gift rate' really depends on your relationship to the person getting married and how much you feel you can afford. As I mentioned above, that's what I give personally - in our case, we're comfortable but paying a mortgage. When my husband and I got married, we got mostly cash gifts all along the scale and were extremely grateful for anything we received.

[Cafe_333]

Weddings are very expensive and most couples prefer cash. The standard cash gift is $100, more if you're close. This rule of thumb doesn't change regardless the fact if it is being held at a banquet hall/hotel/resort/golf club/manor. You do not give more just because it is at an expensive venue. The location is the couple's choice and the excess cost should not be incurred back on the guests.

[wilsonlam97]

My condolences

Hahaha

[wilsonlam97]

Weddings are very expensive and most couples prefer cash. The standard cash gift is $100, more if you're close. This rule of thumb doesn't change regardless the fact if it is being held at a banquet hall/hotel/resort/golf club/manor. You do not give more just because it is at an expensive venue. The location is the couple's choice and the excess cost should not be incurred back on the guests.

Wow I need you to teach me wedding etiquette. I did not know that.

[adelfoxy]

How much money do give for a wedding gift?????

[wilsonlam97]

How much money do give for a wedding gift?????

A sibling = a lot
A good friend = a decent amount
A family relative = be cheap
A friend = be cheap but not too cheap

[sandikosh]

I'm invited to a wedding this weekend. The card says nothing about a wedding gift registry. And, obviously, I have left it too late to call up the family and ask. Any thoughts on what I can do in the situation?

Should I buy a gift? Or, just give money? If giving money, how much is appropriate? And, should it be cheque, cash, or gift card? Is it tacky to give cash? And, if it's a cheque, who should it be made out to?

Thanks!

If nothing was requested, don't give anything. Just show up for the wedding and party!

[yabadaba]

Cheap venue = $75.00 cash or equivalant in gifts (per person)
Nicer venue = $100.00-$200.00 cash or equivalant in gifts (per person)

I think that as a guest, it is only fair to cover the cost for you to be there. Weddings can be very expensive, so unless the couple are wealthy, they can use some cash to help start their lives together. If you are closer to them, then pay more obviously.

[Offspring22]

Why not just save the bride and groom the hassle and give them cash in a nice card, rather than having them worry about whether they can cash the cheque?


At a friends wedding, a couple cards with cash went missing (at least the givers swore they put them in the basket, at least one replaced the missing gift later). I'd personally give a cheque in case some waiter, venue staff or unscrupulous "+1" decided to pocket a card or 2. There isn't usually a crack security team at weddings.

[sandikosh]

inb4IT'SOURFAULTFORINVITINGTHEM

Don't do what two cheapasses did for my wedding:

A $35 GC to Mastermind Toys
Two regular admission Cineplex movie vouchers

This post-it note in place of a wedding card:

http://i50.tinypic.com/dr7es9.jpg

I should also add she bragged/insulted some of my other guests by telling them she knew she'd be invited and took three full packed boxes of deserts when she left. Her bf (who's a complete tool) followed her around.

Misery loves company.

[sandikosh]

Cheap venue = $75.00 cash or equivalant in gifts (per person)
Nicer venue = $100.00-$200.00 cash or equivalant in gifts (per person)

I think that as a guest, it is only fair to cover the cost for you to be there. Weddings can be very expensive, so unless the couple are wealthy, they can use some cash to help start their lives together. If you are closer to them, then pay more obviously.

I don't get this "cover the cost". To me it is insulting to invite people and have them pay their share. If you can't afford a large wedding, don't have one.

[armadillo]

At a friends wedding, a couple cards with cash went missing (at least the givers swore they put them in the basket, at least one replaced the missing gift later). I'd personally give a cheque in case some waiter, venue staff or unscrupulous "+1" decided to pocket a card or 2. There isn't usually a crack security team at weddings.

I can definitely see that. Granted, we don't attend many weddings (and most are family), but every wedding we've been to, including ours, had a nice box with a slit in the top for cards. I imagine it's possible for someone to open and rifle through the box (can you imagine the audacity?), but one could glue it or tape it shut to avoid this. To be honest, we received both cheques and cash at our wedding and had no problem depositing either. We personally give cash because it's easy for us and instant gratification for the recipients.

[Simkins]

I don't get this "cover the cost". To me it is insulting to invite people and have them pay their share. If you can't afford a large wedding, don't have one.

You cheap bro?

[sandikosh]

You cheap bro?

Of course I am cheap when I am asked to pay for someone else's celebration.

[Simkins]

Of course I am cheap when I am asked to pay for someone else's celebration.

I hope you receive movie tickets and gift cards for wedding gifts.

[kingofwale]

I hope you receive movie tickets and gift cards for wedding gifts.

he would need to have friends to attend his wedding to get even that. LOL

[sandikosh]

I hope you receive movie tickets and gift cards for wedding gifts.

I wouldn't. I will simply ask for their presence and not to pay for my wedding.

[VonMatterhorn]

Cash is the best gift, helps the couple in recovering from the wedding expenses.

[deltone]

Cheap venue = $75.00 cash or equivalant in gifts (per person)
Nicer venue = $100.00-$200.00 cash or equivalant in gifts (per person)

I think that as a guest, it is only fair to cover the cost for you to be there. Weddings can be very expensive, so unless the couple are wealthy, they can use some cash to help start their lives together. If you are closer to them, then pay more obviously.

Scenario 1: You have a friend, cousin, nephew, uncle, whatever who is a complete jerk and you're not close to the person but you get invited to the wedding. The wedding is being held at Casa Loma or some other high end place and it's all top-notch, and ooooozing with expense.

Scenario 2: You have a friend, cousin, nephew, uncle, whatever who you are very close to and you love them with all your heart and you get invited to the wedding. The wedding is being held in a legion hall or someother low end place and it's all pretty simple and obviously not costing a lot of money.

So, the question is, who do you give the biggest monetary gift to? The person who decided to go all Kim Kardashian and wanted to have the most lavish wedding, or to the person who just couldn't afford the high-end wedding and had a wedding that was financially comfortable for them? I know which couple I'd give the highest amount to.

At a friends wedding, a couple cards with cash went missing (at least the givers swore they put them in the basket, at least one replaced the missing gift later). I'd personally give a cheque in case some waiter, venue staff or unscrupulous "+1" decided to pocket a card or 2. There isn't usually a crack security team at weddings.

[yabadaba]

I was saying if you have a regular relationship with the bride and groom that is what I would give.

Scenario 1: If I don't like the person, why would I spend my time to attend their wedding? If you are attending a wedding for a billionaire, then that would be the exception, your $200 won't help, and they don't need it. No matter how lavish their wedding is, my cap is $200.00. Beyond spending $200.00 per person, they are just showing off.

If you are attending a wedding, like it or not, there are social conventions that we are expected to follow. It's like when you attend a dinner party, you should bring a bottle of wine, or a cake, don't bring a bottle of 2 litre Pepsi and put it on the table. Right or wrong, that is up to everyone's own interpretation. However if you are cheap at someone else's wedding, it can be the start of the end, because word gets around.

In my personal experience, I knew someone in our distant family who has a reputation for being cheap at weddings 20 years ago. Word got around, and growing up, I have never seen them at any weddings or large family gatherings. . . Until my own wedding. I decided to give them a chance, thinking maybe they weren't so bad as their reputation, so I invited them. Not only did their entire family come, but they even brought an extra guest to take up an entire table. All they brought was 2 small bottles of alcohol, and 4 dollar store glasses. Needless to say, their entire family won't be attending anyone else's wedding for another 20 years.

I'm not saying that they absolutely have to cover their entire cost, because they won't know and can only guess the amount I paid, they won't know exactly. Each seat at my wedding cost us around $150.00 (obviously not including the cost of dress, photographer, and officiate), but I would have been happy if they gave us $100.00 per person.

Scenario 2: Give more. If someone is nice to you all your life, you should be nice back. People won't complain if you give more : )


Scenario 1: You have a friend, cousin, nephew, uncle, whatever who is a complete jerk and you're not close to the person but you get invited to the wedding. The wedding is being held at Casa Loma or some other high end place and it's all top-notch, and ooooozing with expense.

Scenario 2: You have a friend, cousin, nephew, uncle, whatever who you are very close to and you love them with all your heart and you get invited to the wedding. The wedding is being held in a legion hall or someother low end place and it's all pretty simple and obviously not costing a lot of money.

So, the question is, who do you give the biggest monetary gift to? The person who decided to go all Kim Kardashian and wanted to have the most lavish wedding, or to the person who just couldn't afford the high-end wedding and had a wedding that was financially comfortable for them? I know which couple I'd give the highest amount to.

[wilsonlam97]

Scenario 1: You have a friend, cousin, nephew, uncle, whatever who is a complete jerk and you're not close to the person but you get invited to the wedding. The wedding is being held at Casa Loma or some other high end place and it's all top-notch, and ooooozing with expense.

Scenario 2: You have a friend, cousin, nephew, uncle, whatever who you are very close to and you love them with all your heart and you get invited to the wedding. The wedding is being held in a legion hall or someother low end place and it's all pretty simple and obviously not costing a lot of money.

So, the question is, who do you give the biggest monetary gift to? The person who decided to go all Kim Kardashian and wanted to have the most lavish wedding, or to the person who just couldn't afford the high-end wedding and had a wedding that was financially comfortable for them? I know which couple I'd give the highest amount to.

The nicer people obviously gets more of my money. The KimK ballers will be lucky to even receive my money.

[wilsonlam97]

I was saying if you have a regular relationship with the bride and groom that is what I would give.

Scenario 1: If I don't like the person, why would I spend my time to attend their wedding? If you are attending a wedding for a billionaire, then that would be the exception, your $200 won't help, and they don't need it. If you are attending a wedding, like it or not, there are social conventions that we are expected to follow. It's like when you attend a dinner party, you should bring a bottle of wine, or a cake, don't bring a bottle of 2 litre Pepsi and put it on the table. Right or wrong, that is up to everyone's own interpretation. However if you are cheap at someone else's wedding, it can be the start of the end, because word gets around.

In my personal experience, I knew someone in our distant family who has a reputation for being cheap at weddings 20 years ago. Word got around, and growing up, I have never seen them at any weddings or large family gatherings. . . Until my own wedding. I decided to give them a chance, thinking maybe they weren't so bad as their reputation, so I invited them. Not only did their entire family come, but they even brought an extra guest to take up an entire table. All they brought was 2 small bottles of alcohol, and 4 dollar store glasses. Needless to say, their entire family won't be attending anyone else's wedding for another 20 years.

Scenario 2: Give more. If someone is nice to you all your life, you should be nice back. People won't complain if you give more : )

Yeah some people never change. Its like inviting friends to eat with you. If I were to pay the bill this time I'd expect you to pay the next time and just make it fair for both of us. Or just split the bill

If you make me pay the bill twice with no hesitation then I'll never go eat with you again purely because you too cheap dawg.

[desidealer49]

I would give cash. Giving an item risks giving them something they may not want. Cash works beat. Recent wedding of a friend, they explicitly stated no gifts. Everyone just gave cash or cheques.

[deltone]

I was saying if you have a regular relationship with the bride and groom that is what I would give.

Scenario 1: If I don't like the person, why would I spend my time to attend their wedding? If you are attending a wedding for a billionaire, then that would be the exception, your $200 won't help, and they don't need it. No matter how lavish their wedding is, my cap is $200.00. Beyond spending $200.00 per person, they are just showing off.

If you are attending a wedding, like it or not, there are social conventions that we are expected to follow. It's like when you attend a dinner party, you should bring a bottle of wine, or a cake, don't bring a bottle of 2 litre Pepsi and put it on the table. Right or wrong, that is up to everyone's own interpretation. However if you are cheap at someone else's wedding, it can be the start of the end, because word gets around.

In my personal experience, I knew someone in our distant family who has a reputation for being cheap at weddings 20 years ago. Word got around, and growing up, I have never seen them at any weddings or large family gatherings. . . Until my own wedding. I decided to give them a chance, thinking maybe they weren't so bad as their reputation, so I invited them. Not only did their entire family come, but they even brought an extra guest to take up an entire table. All they brought was 2 small bottles of alcohol, and 4 dollar store glasses. Needless to say, their entire family won't be attending anyone else's wedding for another 20 years.

I'm not saying that they absolutely have to cover their entire cost, because they won't know and can only guess the amount I paid, they won't know exactly. Each seat at my wedding cost us around $150.00 (obviously not including the cost of dress, photographer, and officiate), but I would have been happy if they gave us $100.00 per person.

Scenario 2: Give more. If someone is nice to you all your life, you should be nice back. People won't complain if you give more : )

My point is like someone else said earlier. IF the bride and groom decide to go over the top with their wedding plans, then they can pay for it. It's not my obligation to pay for their extravegance. Make no mistake, my husband and I are always very generous with our gifts but we do it because we choose to, not because we must. (well, at least where I'm concerned as he may feel more of an obligation as he is Italian).

This whole "cover the plate" thing bugs the heck out of me. You want fancy, pay for it yourself. The Italians tend to go over the top for all of these celebrations: Showers, Engagement Parties, Weddings, Christening, First Communion, Confirmation, etc. When my two youngest had their First Communions, we did the celebration at home and invited our immediate family (hubby's family). I didn't feel like spending a small fortune on some big fancy celebration at a hall so we kept it fairly simple. Lots of good food and booze, but in our own home.

A couple of years later, our niece was having her First Communion but her parents decided to go all out and have a big celebration at a restaurant. When it came time to decide on the Boosta (money in the card) my husband started with the whole "cover the plate" garbage and I put my foot down. I told him flat out that I didn't want to spend a small fortune on our own kids celebration, I'd be darned if I am going to spend it on our nieces. I gave to her the same amount I gave to all of my other nieces and nephews whose parents didn't go all out and had it in their homes. I'm not going to show preference to that niece just because her parents decided to go all out.

As I said, you want fancy, pay for it yourself. My gift is based on how much I can afford and how I feel about you and how close we are. PERIOD

[newsflash]

I usually give $100 for both my partner and I. It's a gift for them to start their married life together. I'm not responsible for covering their wedding cost however lavish it may be. It's not my wedding!

[dor79]

For me it depends on the venue so much.
typical banquet hall open bar wedding I give $100 pp starting and then adding something extra depending on how close the person is to us

[dre145]

I usually give $100 for both my partner and I. It's a gift for them to start their married life together. I'm not responsible for covering their wedding cost however lavish it may be. It's not my wedding!

even if you were my family I wouldnt invite you if I knew you were that cheap

[newsflash]

even if you were my family I wouldnt invite you if I knew you were that cheap

If that's how you think then I wouldn't want to attend your wedding. For my wedding I just want people to come and have fun. I don't care how much they give us. I can't believe people now consider $100 GIFT to be cheap. wtf.

[jaysfan4life]

$100 per person.. Close family $500 plus. I'm not one for weddings if I get an invite and decide not to go $50-75 gift card.

[deltone]

.

[Simaahoy]

even if you were my family I wouldnt invite you if I knew you were that cheap

I believe that people should give what they can. Sad that you value money over your family

[JWL]

If the guy has any DIY aspirations, get him some power tools. Most of the wedding gifts are bride oriented so it adds some balance.

[Rocketo]

w/o reading everyone's response...when in doubt...cash ...in a card in an envelope...that way the happy couple can recoup their costs of the wedding without having to post gift cards for 10% off in the b/s/t forum if they aren't going to use their 200 gift card to a store they don't shop at

[Catherine111]

Personally I always prefer money would be a good thing to give for a couple just starting out. But yeah try to give what you can and what you are comfortable with. There is no set amount anymore. It will totally depend on your relationship to the bride and groom. Just remember it is a gift and as in any gift it should not be expected and should always be appreciated.

[lavar]

Cheap venue = $75.00 cash or equivalant in gifts (per person)
Nicer venue = $100.00-$200.00 cash or equivalant in gifts (per person)

I think that as a guest, it is only fair to cover the cost for you to be there. Weddings can be very expensive, so unless the couple are wealthy, they can use some cash to help start their lives together. If you are closer to them, then pay more obviously.

This is my understanding. A cash gift should typically be equivalent to the cost to host you and your +1 if you are coming with someone.

[saveadollardiva]

If it were me I would give them cash. Than they can use it as they see fit. Of course you try to pay your plate and give them a little something extra. Usually you give at least 100.00 a person, so if it is you and a guest 200.00 all together. If it is just you than 100.00 or a little bit more if you want to, maybe like 120-150.00. Good Luck!

[at1212b]

Is there a difference between a lunch and dinner ceremony? I got married in the morning and had a brunch for my guests, but it wasn't less formal than it would have been if I'd held it at night. To my knowledge, the 'going gift rate' really depends on your relationship to the person getting married and how much you feel you can afford. As I mentioned above, that's what I give personally - in our case, we're comfortable but paying a mortgage. When my husband and I got married, we got mostly cash gifts all along the scale and were extremely grateful for anything we received.

It's not just the going gift rate. If dinner is served and alcohol is free flowing, that costs more hence should gift more.

If one is doing it cheaply at a buffet let's say, than less should be given to the couple.

[chimaican]

Cash is King:
Family = min $125 pp
Friend = min $100 pp
Acquaintance (i.e. coworker) = $50-75 pp


Just don't be cheap. A friend of mine invited a co-worker and her husband to her open-bar wedding and they gave a $25 giftcard to fast food (Cara: Harvey's/Swiss Chalet/Montanas). Man, was she pissed. $12.50 each.

[wszeto28]

I start with $100. For family members, I give a bit more to a lot more depending on how close I am to them.

I also base my decision off of the venue. If it's a crappy place, I give less. If it's an expensive place, I give more.

[Cafe_333]

This is my understanding. A cash gift should typically be equivalent to the cost to host you and your +1 if you are coming with someone.Take a que from what deltone said here (http://forums.redflagdeals.com/help-what-give-wedding-gift-1205295/3/#post15074197). It is the couple's choice if they want to have it somewhere nice. The extra cost should not be incurred back on to your guests nor should you be expecting them to cover the entire cost to host them when you get married. By this logic, every couple should be able to get married at the Ritz Carlton or Graydon Hall, just because your guests should pay for it. Yeah right....

[deltone]

Take a que from what deltone said here (http://forums.redflagdeals.com/help-what-give-wedding-gift-1205295/3/#post15074197). It is the couple's choice if they want to have it somewhere nice. The extra cost should not be incurred back on to your guests nor should you be expecting them to cover the entire cost to host them when you get married. By this logic, every couple should be able to get married at the Ritz Carlton or Graydon Hall, just because your guests should pay for it. Yeah right....

Exactly. It's supposed to be a gift and that gift should be based on first of all, what you can afford, and second of all, what you want to give. My husband and I are going to a wedding in August for a young chap who is one of our youngest sons closest friends. I've known this kid since he was in JK. It won't be a fancy event and will be held at the local arena and it will be a cash bar. We've already decided to give this young couple around $200-$300 because it's what we want to give them. I wouldn't feel obligated to give them less because it's not a big fancy event. I want to give them that much because I like this young man a lot and it's what I can afford and it's what I want to give. If he got married at the Ritz Carlton, I'd still give the same amount as it's his problem to pay for a big wedding, not my problem.

This whole attitude of expecting some huge amount of money to offset the cost of the wedding is just wrong, IMHO because it's the bride and groom's decidion to have it wherever they want. I don't invite people to my home and expect them to foot the bill or cover the cost of the meal and booze. When you invite someone to a celebration then you pay for the celebration. It's a simple concept.

Several years back one of my older sons got married and it was a MAJOR FANCY event. Very over the top and one of his uncles didn't go to the wedding and I heard later that his reason was he couldn't afford to go. He was aware of this new way of thinking and he just flat out felt intimidated and knew he just didn't have the sort of money that some would expect to cover the plate plus. I felt very sad that he felt that way because I'm sure he would have loved to have been at his nephew's wedding. I personally felt he should have just come to the wedding and give what he could afford but he felt too embarassed to do that I suppose.

[danfromwaterloo]

I'm invited to a wedding this weekend. The card says nothing about a wedding gift registry. And, obviously, I have left it too late to call up the family and ask. Any thoughts on what I can do in the situation?

Should I buy a gift? Or, just give money? If giving money, how much is appropriate? And, should it be cheque, cash, or gift card? Is it tacky to give cash? And, if it's a cheque, who should it be made out to?

Thanks!

1.5 x the reasonable expectation for the cost of your plate x number of guests.

So, if the place is nice, one could say 75-100 per plate. So, if you bring a guest, 1.5 x 75-100 x 2 = 225-300

That's my rule of thumb. You also work it up or down depending on relationship, and whether you have to travel to get there (ie. out of town wedding).

[NG]

even if you were my family I wouldnt invite you if I knew you were that cheap

Surprised nobody replied with just declining the invitation and not going.

Never been to a wedding; never will.

[danfromwaterloo]

Surprised nobody replied with just declining the invitation and not going.

Never been to a wedding; never will.

Weddings are the best! As long as you're single and it's a open bar - good times will be had!

[NG]

Weddings are the best! As long as you're single and it's a open bar - good times will be had!

Meeting hot babes is all well and good but don't weddings attract women who are desperate to get married instead of having a good time?

[JWL]

Surprised nobody replied with just declining the invitation and not going.

Never been to a wedding; never will.

Kinda sad that you don't have any friends that you care enough about to go to their wedding. Or if you don't go just to avoid getting a gift that is a whole different kind of sad.

[valinrace]

Cash/Cheque is the best wedding gift because it gives them the opportunity to buy what they really want.

[danfromwaterloo]

Meeting hot babes is all well and good but don't weddings attract women who are desperate to get married instead of having a good time?

For a guy who's never been to a wedding, you have no idea.

Weddings are filled with three types of women: those who are married, those who are on the path to be married, and those who are nowhere near being married and want to lose themselves in a night of drinking and bad decisions.

[NG]

Kinda sad that you don't have any friends that you care enough about to go to their wedding. Or if you don't go just to avoid getting a gift that is a whole different kind of sad.

They say 1 in 25 ppl are a psychopath. The fewer people you know the better your chances are for running into a psycho.

[NG]

For a guy who's never been to a wedding, you have no idea.

Weddings are filled with three types... and those who are nowhere near being married and want to lose themselves in a night of drinking and bad decisions.

Interesting. I happily stand corrected then.

[Spor 13]

I always give cash. Noone really wants otherwise I figure. They can buy whatever they want. How much, depends on the scenario.

For my bro's wedding, I gave as much as I could afford. I didn't have much money at the time, so I gave $300. I would've given more if I could.
For my cousin's wedding, I gave $250 ($150 for me, $100 from gf)
For a friends wedding (I hadn't seen her in 5 yrs), her wedding was on a friday and really inconvenienced me, so I gave $150 ($75 from me and my gf)
For another friends wedding, I was given an invitation about 2 weeks before the event after some of my other friends were invited and asked if I was invited. I viewed it as a pity invitation so I gave $150 (again, $75 for me and gf)

[SomeBodyElseisme]

I always give cash. Noone really wants otherwise I figure. They can buy whatever they want. How much, depends on the scenario.

For my bro's wedding, I gave as much as I could afford. I didn't have much money at the time, so I gave $300. I would've given more if I could.
For my cousin's wedding, I gave $250 ($150 for me, $100 from gf)
For a friends wedding (I hadn't seen her in 5 yrs), her wedding was on a friday and really inconvenienced me, so I gave $150 ($75 from me and my gf)
For another friends wedding, I was given an invitation about 2 weeks before the event after some of my other friends were invited and asked if I was invited. I viewed it as a pity invitation so I gave $150 (again, $75 for me and gf)

thanks. I will keep these in mind:D

[Mattones]

Money.

[starboy869]

Close family? $500+ I would stuff $100/m or so under my matteress to save it.

Close friends? Follow the gift registey + $50 for the lcbo or something. One person wedding I went to let me use their house for the night of the wedding. I surprised them with a 40 of crown royal xr in the freezer as in to say thank you. I could've spent the $ on the hotel, but I hate hotels in general.

[EPcjay]

100$ gift card to grocery store.

[Vizla78]

so the general consensus seems to point to giving cash with a nice card. this is better than risking giving something that is not wanted or needed for the recipients, and for me, it is easier as I don't have to think too hard and hunt for some present..just go to the bank and get some cash, and then buy a card and sign it...done! I think 100 is the minimum, but I also don't think 100 is being cheap. cash is always welcome.

[MS MSP]

I usually give $100 for both my partner and I. It's a gift for them to start their married life together. I'm not responsible for covering their wedding cost however lavish it may be. It's not my wedding!

I hope you mean $100 per person.

If not, you're cheap.

Dinner and drinks (assuming open bar) will easily run $100 per person.

[n3o321]

I think the BEST is that you give enough to cover the cost of yourself (+1 if you go with company) or $100 a person (more if you are closer)

IF you know the venue is going to be expensive, give enough or try to find out how much a table would cost. split that by 10 people (10 people in a table) and that would be your gift.
It should be enough to cover yourself.

you're attending a wedding to enjoy it with the bride and groom...not to put them into a financial hole after the wedding. (a joyous occasion, if you can't afford it, just don't go..or find a way to get that money. if you're close and don't go, i'd give money like 20$ just for the invitation.)

If you are asian, the amount of money and name will be written down on a red strip of paper which is kept for future reference..and when you have your wedding, the gift/amount is reciprocated. (atleast from what i know).

there have been some douchey move where NO money were in the red pockets. it's such a shame that people will do this.