Shared driveway dilemma - opinions needed

[clax66]

So I am not quite sure how to feel about this. We live in the inner city and have a shared driveway. This means that both we and our neighbour own the land that the driveway is on. The driveway runs between our two houses and 100 years ago was used to access garages at the back of the house that both houses owned. That was 100 years ago when the need for a wide driveway was unnecessary. The driveway is only about 6.5 feet wide and because of this it is impossible to park behind the houses so this leaves the street and the driveway at the front of the house. We and our neighbour had an 'unwritten' rule that if parking on the street is unavailable the driveway can be used until a spot becomes open.

I applied and was successful in getting a parking pad that is directly beside the driveway in front of our house. I had offered to help the neighbours get one as well and they agreed. I drew diagrams and provided them with all the applications, but in the end they never sent in the paper work. So now I have a parking pad and they don’t…..I am sure they are kicking themselves but what can I do.

Now the problem….they have 3 kids who want to use the driveway for basketball and skateboarding and whatnot….this will all take place 3 feet from my car that is parked on the parking pad. I don’t want to be the bad guy and tell them they can’t play on the driveway but this is how I feel. Maybe I am way off base and should let the kids play on the drive but it will just be a matter of time before my car gets dinged or a $800 mirror gets smashed…It may be one of neighbour’s kids or their various friends but it will happen.

The original legal purpose of the driveway was to provide access to the back of the house only. Not for parking or anything else. Since I have the parking pad I am willing to let the neighbour park on the shared driveway as long as they stay as far over as possible so I can come and go…the kids playing on the driveway is the issue.

Please tell me if I am being unreasonable. Maybe I am and have to take a step back and rethink. I just don’t want a war with the neighbour and that is what will happen if I say anything.

Sorry for the long post but there was a lot of background.

[Thai]

I think it's better the kids play on the driveway than on the road - speaking as a parent of course. Personally I think you should leave them be. Just make a point that they stay away from your vehicle. Not really a big deal, IMO.

[fratello25]

I think you're making a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be. They own the property as much as you do, and therefore, their kids are entitled to use the property. If they cause any damage, have a talk with them, but to tell them that they can't play on their driveway, property that they own, makes you seem a little snooty.

[clax66]

I think it's better the kids play on the driveway than on the road - speaking as a parent of course. Personally I think you should leave them be. Just make a point that they stay away from your vehicle. Not really a big deal, IMO.

This is part of the problem. when someone doesn't really think about the situation and gives an off the cuff answer. Put your right arm out....that is the distance from where they are playing with their skateboards to my car.....

I don't want them playing in the street either but it is not my fault their parents bought a house with no where to play.

[Sylvestre]

IF you make a big deal of the car, you'll lose a good neighbour. Is that relationship worth a couple dings on an inanimate object that you'll sell within 10 yrs?

[clax66]

[QUOTE=fratello25;15139690]I think you're making a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be. They own the property as much as you do, and therefore, their kids are entitled to use the property. If they cause any damage, have a talk with them, but to tell them that they can't play on their driveway, property that they own, makes you seem a little snooty.[/QUOTE

Hmmm, I can see where this is going...you do understand that it is not their property to play on. It is our property for access to the back of the house only...
I can just as easily park my car on the shared driveway and call it a day but i am not going to do that...

[badass]

I agree that you can't tell them not to play on the driveway but you have to make it clear that your car is close by and that they need to be careful.

Make sure the parents understand that they will be liable for any expense in repairing if anything should happen.

About it just being a car, it doesnt matter if its some American car or a Porsche it's your car. I Personally Take care of my car and hate when people ding it and take off.

Everyone works hard for their money and I personally take care of my investment and my property.

Cheers !

[akira1971]

So if the rear of the property is no longer used as a parking garage, can it be converted to a paved court? Perhaps suggest that to your neighbours when the topic comes up and list all the positives - safer and away from traffic, easier to watch the kids from backyard, free up parking space up front, etc.

[Heero01]

I would tell them not to play. Or else park your car in the driveway so they can't.

I hate to say this, but you will have to go to war with your neighbor. No 2 ways around it. Mention your concerns politely first, then after start parking it in the driveway to prevent them from using it.

Have no doubt, your car WILL get damaged.

[clax66]

Is that relationship worth a couple dings on an inanimate object that you'll sell within 10 yrs?

This is just ridiculous

[psyko514]

Hmmm, I can see where this is going...you do understand that it is not their property to play on. It is our property for access to the back of the house only...
I can just as easily park my car on the shared driveway and call it a day but i am not going to do that...

The original purpose of the driveway is moot. That's like saying the kids can't play in the kitchen because it was intended for cooking.

You have two options and you know them. If you prevent the kids from playing in the driveway, you'll become the bad guy and potentially create problems with your neighbour. You might be stuck with a neighbour who hates you for years. Alternately, you let the kids play and deal with any damage if & when it happens.

Personally, I'd have a chat with your neighbour, share your concerns and go from there. You should also recognize the fact that if the kids play in the street, they can just as easily damage your car. Growing up, I cracked a neighbour's windshield while playing with my brother in the street.

[fratello25]

[QUOTE=fratello25;15139690]I think you're making a bigger deal out of this than it needs to be. They own the property as much as you do, and therefore, their kids are entitled to use the property. If they cause any damage, have a talk with them, but to tell them that they can't play on their driveway, property that they own, makes you seem a little snooty.[/QUOTE

Hmmm, I can see where this is going...you do understand that it is not their property to play on. It is our property for access to the back of the house only...
I can just as easily park my car on the shared driveway and call it a day but i am not going to do that...

As Psyko stated, this is where you're wrong. Unless there was a deed restriction that limits the use of this part of the property to vehicular travel to the back of the house, you both own it, and can do whatever you want on it. You can park his car on it, but so can he. He can build a lemonade stand, and so can you. Their kids can play on it, and so can yours. Sorry, but that's what co-ownership means. You can't dictate how he uses the joint property, but neither can he.

Now... should it ever get to the point where he prevents you from the enjoyment of this property (i.e. he builds a gate), then I agree a that civial action may be warranted, but kids playing on their OWN property (albeit shared with you) is nowhere close to that. As others have suggested, go talk to him and voice your concerns. But know that you can't do anything to prevent it from happening.

[sickcars]

What if you suggested they play at the back near the garage since your car will be parked at the front of the yard? That would leave much more room and less chance of something happening to your car. It's a difficult situation but hopefully the parents will understand & realize its not worth it to let the kids play right beside the car and possibly pay for future damage.

[clax66]

The original purpose of the driveway is moot. .

I appreciate the advice and will likely go this route but I believe the above statement is incorrect. The shared driveway is legally described as egress only to the back yard. No parking since this obstructs the others access the back. This is unlike a kitchen that has no legal description.

[Cheap Cat]

I'm with the OP on this. I wouldn't want kids playing that close to my car. For those saying it is just an inanimate object, it is an expensive inanimate object which for most people is the second most expensive thing they own, after their house. Any little ding will also be expensive to fix. If the kids want to play, they should be going to the local park.

I would go to the neighbour and explain your concerns including that you will consider them responsible for any damage to your car.

[psyko514]

I appreciate the advice and will likely go this route but I believe the above statement is incorrect. The shared driveway is legally described as egress only to the back yard. No parking since this obstructs the others access the back. This is unlike a kitchen that has no legal description.

I'm not a lawyer so I have no idea what grounds the legal description holds. For example, I don't know if you can take legal action against your neighbours for allowing their kids to play in the driveway. If you could, would you really? Seems like a pretty big hassle over a "what-if" not to mention something that will certainly sour your relationship with your neighbour.

Keep in mind that you admittedly used the driveway yourself for purposes other than 'egress only to the back yard' by parking in it.

[Sylvestre]

This is just ridiculous

why? People make value choices all the time. All I'm saying is that if he values the relationship more than the car, choose the relationship. If he values the car more, choose the car.

I am adding my own opinion that anyone who chooses a vehicle over a relationship with a neighbour has priorities I don't agree with. A car is a replaceable, inanimate object; a neighbour's good relationship is irreplaceable.

Keep in mind the car WILL get damaged, the OP will get angry at kids, the OP will get into an argument with his neighbour (and potentially other neighbours since other kids may be responsible for some damage) etc. Is all that worth it? OP's gotta decide.

[Xeros]

I was thinking that if you see them outside playing near your car, that would be best time to go speak with the family; BEFORE anything happens. It's always easier to go through some "rules" before things get broken.

Just mention that you're a bit concerned about the play near your car and if anything should happen, that you hope things can be resolved by the responsible party.

[licenced]

OP, I think you should take the advice of others to talk first to your neighbour if you are concerned. It will take true tact and diplomacy though to not offend them by suggesting they could, might, possibly sometime in the future damage your car. It will be tough if they haven't come close to such an incident. They do have a right to its use but if you think it can only be used for access to the now defunct parking in the back then consider for a minute that you're standing in front of a judge arguing for an injunction against these kids playing on shared property because they might damage the car parked squarely on your property.

What do you suppose the judge might say?

[packardbell]

i think you should just let it be until your cars gets dinged or damaged.
why stir up a can of worms for?

[chickibum]

I'm with the OP on this. I wouldn't want kids playing that close to my car. For those saying it is just an inanimate object, it is an expensive inanimate object which for most people is the second most expensive thing they own, after their house. Any little ding will also be expensive to fix. If the kids want to play, they should be going to the local park.

I would go to the neighbour and explain your concerns including that you will consider them responsible for any damage to your car.

+1

[iwells]

Go one step further and place a camera/dvr in the front pointing toward your car - excessive but today it's basketball, then its hockey. You'll get a ding but it will be a matter of time - at least you will have proof.

Still express your concerns though.

As far as the good/bad neighbor - there is no proper answer. Question is do you really care what your neighbor thinks? Do you invite him over for dinner, does he watch your house, etc. Is that at risk? Does it bother you if the relationship goes sour - likely be difficult since you share the driveway.

[nalababe]

We lived for ten years sharing a mutual drive.

First, 6.5 feet is more than enough for most cars, so you have a pad, garage in the back. Our neighbourhood is filled with them. We had the same (actually a few inches less), and had no trouble getting either the old 240sx or the subsequent Cherokee and Blazer through.

As for the front, we wanted the kids to play the drive (both side felt this way)...even with our second car parked on the road. Yes, there isachance for dings...there would be as well if the played on the road. If you really cared that much, you would be parking in the back...otherwise you take the risk.

Don't know what you drive, but we had a loaded Mini cooper S, all around us are various BMWs.

If you are parking on the road or a pad, it is a risk you assume....

[clax66]

First, 6.5 feet is more than enough for most cars,....

Thanks, but maybe it is 5'10". This is not the point. We cannot get our car in the back , nor can they. If we could this would all be a non issue plus the city would have laughed at us when we applied for the parking pad.

Lots of good suggestions and lots of suggestions that make me wonder. It looks like the best solution is the most obvious and easiest. I will have a word with the neighbour and just talk it out. I will not suggest they can or cannot do anything since it is a shared driveway and I would never take anyone to court over something like this. I think I would move first. If they accept responsibility for dings all is good although I do not want to have to inspect the car every day. If they do not accept responsibility then there is going to be trouble and I will have to take it from there. I will post back to let people know how it went.....

[nalababe]

Thanks, but maybe it is 5'10". This is not the point. We cannot get our car in the back , nor can they. If we could this would all be a non issue plus the city would have laughed at us when we applied for the parking pad.

Lots of good suggestions and lots of suggestions that make me wonder. It looks like the best solution is the most obvious and easiest. I will have a word with the neighbour and just talk it out. I will not suggest they can or cannot do anything since it is a shared driveway and I would never take anyone to court over something like this. I think I would move first. If they accept responsibility for dings all is good although I do not want to have to inspect the car every day. If they do not accept responsibility then there is going to be trouble and I will have to take it from there. I will post back to let people know how it went.....

I guess my question would be why cannot you get the car into the back. When we ended up selling our house, the prospective buyers were going to take down part of our deck, down the fence to create a space...and no the city would not have cared...there are many more factors such as multiple cars.

As for dings...part of having a car. Unless the kids are being malicious, its just part of life (maybe that's why everyone got along well on the street).

[Steve98]

I will have a word with the neighbour and just talk it out.

That would be my advice too. I don't agree with the posters who think the neighbour will get upset. It's a reasonable concern that if the space next to your car is the unofficial play area, then your car could get damaged. If nobody can park in the back, then why can't the kids play there?

[yao416]

Can you post a pics pleae3

[jordanr19871]

Go one step further and place a camera/dvr in the front pointing toward your car - excessive but today it's basketball, then its hockey. You'll get a ding but it will be a matter of time - at least you will have proof.

Still express your concerns though.

As far as the good/bad neighbor - there is no proper answer. Question is do you really care what your neighbor thinks? Do you invite him over for dinner, does he watch your house, etc. Is that at risk? Does it bother you if the relationship goes sour - likely be difficult since you share the driveway.

+1 GET A CAMERAAAAAAAAAAA
once you go say 'your kids basketball cracked my windshield' they'll say 'no it was a rock and you just noticed it now nice try'
then what?!
OR
you show him video of the basketball hitting your windshield!

[nalababe]

I also think everyone is getting too wound up. On our street, there were 10 kids, running, waving sticks, throwing balls all around cars parked on pads, mutual drives, the street....I don't recall once where a kid actually caused a problem.

Of course many of us were not so uptight either. If the dent, chip wouldn't be charged by a leasing inspection, then really no one would care...just a reference, regardless if people leased or bought. Sure if you knock off the mirror or broke a windshield....

[TrevorK]

I completely understand the concerns of the OP but the root of the problem is that they are anticipating an accident to happen. This accident can originate from the children playing on their property or his (in terms of the shared driveway) so there is nothing you can do to prevent the accident because at best they will be 3.25 feet further (on their side).

I would politely talk to your neighbour about your concerns. Remember that if you act like a demanding idiot to them when something does happen they'll happily smile and say "Go through insurance" and you'll have to sue them in small claims court for the cost (as you'll be out the deductible).


The best solution is the one you don't want to hear; park your car elsewhere while they are playing. It seems unlikely you can prevent children from playing on their property, no matter how nice you are to the parents. While it defeats the purpose of installing a parking pad it is the only way to ensure your car doesn't receive any damage.

[clax66]

I also think everyone is getting too wound up. On our street, there were 10 kids, running, waving sticks, throwing balls all around cars parked on pads, mutual drives, the street....I don't recall once where a kid actually caused a problem.

Of course many of us were not so uptight either. If the dent, chip wouldn't be charged by a leasing inspection, then really no one would care...just a reference, regardless if people leased or bought. Sure if you knock off the mirror or broke a windshield....

N, you must live in some kind of weird dimension utopia if the kids did not cause any problems while waving sticks and throwing balls. When I was a kid I broke the side mirror to my dad's car while playing ball hockey and then front window of the front door with a bow and arrow, both within 2 weeks of each other. Maybe the kids in your neighbourhood are a little more subdued than the kids I am used to.

The kids next door are trying skateboard tricks 3.5 feet from the car. Have you ever seen a skateboard rocket away from a trick gone wrong? Probably not in your utopia....