Why don't parents take responsibility?

[bluemount]

While I feel very sorry for the parents of 11-year-old Brunthan Nadarajah that fell through the ice and drown yesterday, I am disgusted how the parents are blaming "others" for safety issues around the pond.

WOW - what ever happened to tell your children to stay off the ice!
Especially in this rather mild weather when ice is not thick.

The kid was a dumb-ass
The parents were dumb-asses

Blame yourselves not the rest of us.


Police Insp. Mary Lee Metcalf said the incident stresses the need to be vigilant around freezing bodies of water.

“It’s a very serious situation,” she said. “We’d like to remind the public that these bodies of water are not safe. The flimsy ice is not solid at this time of year.”

Tragedy as Toronto teens fall through thin ice
http://www.canada.com/globaltv/national/story.html?id=b104b5a8-9e96-45f9-a72b-60bb1d312a3e

[w4rrior]

what can you do? however, this was a teen, if it was a kid he probably wouldnt be there w/o his parents anyways. some teens tend to do stupid things anyways and unfortunately, they die from it.

[Shaner]

Maybe the parents did warn him to stay off the ice. Have you ever thought he didn't listen to his parents? Kids tend not to always listen to what their parents say. Many kids think they are invincible.

Also, where did you read that the parents are blaming others? I didn't see that in the article anywhere

[bluemount]

On Global TV - the father was blaming the city.

Also - father was watching while others were trying to rescue his son.
Why did he not try to rescue the son if he was on the scene before others.

[SamInfinity]

It's the way the world is now - people blame others because it's a whole lot easier than reflecting on yourself on how you can improve. Even better if you can litigate and make some money off of it! Really sad when you think about it.

Sometimes I really think that people should be approved to have kids before they actually do. Case in point, when I was working at a department store, I see this kid pulling things off the shelf and just dropping it on the ground. I go and pick up some things. Next thing you know, the kid goes off into the next aisle and continues to do it. I don't blame the kid, who was probably not much older than maybe 4 years old? But when the kid drops things on the ground, looks at the guardian, and the guardian says nothing, so continues to do it...:mad: People get paid to make the store look clean, but not to pick up after you making a mess intentionally.

[wanna_be]

It's the way the world is now - people blame others because it's a whole lot easier than reflecting on yourself on how you can improve.

Oh how true. This day and age it all about blame and deflecting away from ourselves.

Why can't we all take a little ownership for our own actions!

Excellent statement SamInfinity

[chococrazy]

Although I haven't seen the Global TV piece so I dont know if the father was making a statement on his own accord...

But come on, the guy just lost his son. He's angry. He's looking for someone to blame. His head isn't on straight.

Five stages of grief:

- Denial
- Anger
- Bargaining
- Depression
- Acceptance

What I -HATE- is when the media harasses the family. Not saying this happens all of the time. But leave them in peace, no need to show clips of them coming and going into their houses.

And honestly, OP, do you think that the parent is responsible for his kid falling through the pond?

I'm curious to ask how old the OP is. Perhaps when you have kids of your own, or at least close to that point in your life, you'll be more understanding.

[JAGpilot]

His parents think like this: I am going to let my child do whatever the **** they want and if something happens I'll just sue everyone else because everything is someone elses fault. I could use the extra cash anyway. Welfare isn't quite enough for me to live a nice life.

[chococrazy]

His parents think like this: I am going to let my child do whatever the **** they want and if something happens I'll just sue everyone else because everything is someone elses fault. I could use the extra cash anyway. Welfare isn't quite enough for me to live a nice life.

Honestly, if you have such an opinion you should at least read up on the story.

1. The kid who drowned went in to help his cousin.
2. It's not just the father, but the community who is calling for something to be done about the pond: http://www.citynews.ca/news/news_6052.aspx
3. Nothing was ever said about sueing.
4. Nothing was ever said about welfare.


Community Has Asked For Dangerous Pond To Be Obstructed Before
Monday December 11, 2006

They didn't have to know the 11-year-old victim to be saddened and infuriated by what happened to him.

Neighbours who live in the Morningside and Finch area had tears of sorrow and rage in their eyes Monday, after learning of the death of Brunthan Nadarajah in a pond the day before.

"I was shaken by it, it really upset me," confesses Andrew Madden, the project manager for the neighbourhood. "Whenever something like this happens, you take it more personally because you're involved."

He's so upset, he's thinking of tearing out all the walkways that lead to the water to prevent curious kids from getting easy access to the area. Construction - or in this case, deconstruction - could start in the summer.
(for more click the link above)

[brute33]

same story happened here in quebec. I work as a news photographer and i covered a story about a 7 or 8 year old girl who fell through the ice and luckily survived.

The girl fell through thin ice of a nearby pond (large) of a local housing development. The father contacted the newspaper i work for and wanted the city to force the owner of the pond to fence the entire thing. I wanted to ask the father what his 7 year old daughter was doing out on the ice alone but my job is just to take photos so i bite my tongue.....

In montreal a kid once drowned in the lachine canal and the parents wanted the entire lachine canal fenced off. Would have cost tens of millions of dollars! I don't have kids yet but i don't beleive in safeguarding everything. People need to educate their kids and stop relying on the gov't and everyone else to do the job. Thanks for letting me vent.

[DGSYS]

Some parents are just lazy. First off, it's winter, in the minuses...your going to let your kids go outside and play soccer? Isn't it a little too cold? Why do we even have these ponds, I live fairly close to one and it's depressing to look at it. People use it to dispose their waste, theirs always mosquitoes there and the water is not even blue..it's brown.

[rb]

Guy has lost a son - he's allowed to be emotional - However if he did sue the city later on - that I wouldn't agree with. City can't be everywhere all the time

[blexann]

This is a sad story to say the least but sometimes bad things happen and there is really nobody to blame. Maybe more needs to be taught in the schools on water safety. I firmly believe that every kid in this country should be taught about water safety including how to swim - it should be a mandatory class.

[chococrazy]

I firmly believe that every kid in this country should be taught about water safety including how to swim - it should be a mandatory class.

QFT!

[curtis]

2. It's not just the father, but the community who is calling for something to be done about the pond: http://www.citynews.ca/news/news_6052.aspx

From your link:
"Maybe we should be making them less accessible to people," he muses. "There's always water in the ponds. They're getting deeper and deeper."

Yea.. maybe we should make the lake less accessible, how about giant mats at the side of the road instead of curbs?

'there's always water in the ponds.'... no.. really? what kind of pond doesn't have water in it?

[chococrazy]

From your link:
"Maybe we should be making them less accessible to people," he muses. "There's always water in the ponds. They're getting deeper and deeper."

Yea.. maybe we should make the lake less accessible, how about giant mats at the side of the road instead of curbs?

'there's always water in the ponds.'... no.. really? what kind of pond doesn't have water in it?

:lol:

Just for the record, I posted it, I don't necessarily agree with constructing a barrier for the pond.

You can't obstruct EVERY single thing that might pose a danger to kids. The best thing is to try to get kids to understand the dangers. I hope that all parents reiterate to their kids these dangers, and do so on a bi-annual basis (pre-Winter and pre-thaw).

[curtis]

So I'm still invited to the wedding?


:lol:

Just for the record, I posted it, I don't necessarily agree with constructing a barrier for the pond.

You can't obstruct EVERY single thing that might pose a danger to kids. The best thing is to try to get kids to understand the dangers. I hope that all parents reiterate to their kids these dangers, and do so on a bi-annual basis (pre-Winter and pre-thaw).

[chococrazy]

So I'm still invited to the wedding?
<inserting mandatory 'curtis eats a lot joke'>

Are you kidding me, there'd be no food for the other guests :)

[nano]

Its the parents fault they should have warned their child about thin ice

[Bullseye]

Its the parents fault they should have warned their child about thin ice

How do you know they didn't? Maybe they warned him a hundred times. 15 and 11 year olds are not exactly known for their risk assessment and avoidance skills. That doesn't make either the kid or his parents 'dumbasses' as some dumbass here put it. That makes it life, these things sometimes happen because kids will be kids, and they sometimes make bad decisions because of their immaturity.

The city is not responsible, either, of course, but the father is just acting as all males do in crisis...find something to redirect your pain, take action.

[Harkonnen]

This story was in today's Metro as well. Some more information, none of which is related to the story at hand:

Family had 5 kids (3 sons (now 2) and 2 daughters) - ages were not mentioned
Fighting Immigration Canada for Deportation/Refugee Status (they were appealing deportation to Sri Lanka)
Deceased kid was a star soccer player for a soccer club/school in Scarbs

Sorry to hear that the kid died, heart goes out to the family. When I was a kid, I was always afraid of large bodies of water, frozen or not.

My parents forced me into taking swimming lessons and then I became a competitive swimmer. I still hate bodies of water, but at least I know how to swim fast :)

Also, when I was a kid in grade school, every winter we'd have police offers come in and tell us not to go onto ice ponds or otherwise without adults around, and if we fall in, what to do to get yourself out - and should you have to; get someone else out without compromising yourself.

Do such services still happen? I always remembered the police visits, because they came in a cop car whose front end was shaped like a cartoon elephants head.

[stevethewheel]

Do such services still happen? I always remembered the police visits, because they came in a cop car whose front end was shaped like a cartoon elephants head.

That was Elmer the Safety Elephant.

Those services have been cut back. I know they were pretty lame but it did sufficiently scare you about thin ice that you didn't 'accidently' go out on it.

For me and my friends it really took one person that we knew per school generation to die or be seriously messed up from.....crossing the highway unsafely, going on thin ice (walking/skating/snowmobiling), going swimming where you shouldn't, using playground equipment unsafely. Then we 'got it'. Sad to be that child or the parents of that child that end up making the unerasable mark on everyone else.

[ill_mango]

Sure, kids should be educated in water safety, but you guys are actually opposed to fencing off things that are dangerous?

In most places it is illegal to have a pool without a fence, it is illegal to have an outside dog without a fence, why are ponds exempt?

I find that the government always places a higher onus on taxpayers than themselves. Anything you do wrong you get fined, anything they do wrong you have to go through hoops and stuff to get fixed.

I'm not saying that it was the government's fault the kid died, all I am saying is that the residents asked to get it fenced and the government put it on the back burner. You can be sure if it was a pond on private property, the owner would be sued and fined.

[rc51]

Sure, kids should be educated in water safety, but you guys are actually opposed to fencing off things that are dangerous?

In most places it is illegal to have a pool without a fence, it is illegal to have an outside dog without a fence, why are ponds exempt?

I find that the government always places a higher onus on taxpayers than themselves. Anything you do wrong you get fined, anything they do wrong you have to go through hoops and stuff to get fixed.

I'm not saying that it was the government's fault the kid died, all I am saying is that the residents asked to get it fenced and the government put it on the back burner. You can be sure if it was a pond on private property, the owner would be sued and fined.

Fencing isn't the end all be all solution. There will be kids who find the fencing the attraction to climb over and still get into whatever they want to get into.

A friend of mine had a dog run in his back yard when I was in the military with him....he had a huge dog, Rotty-Shep X....never had a problem with him. He came home one day to find a kid about 7 or 8 years old who had climbed the dog run and fallen inside...IIRC the run was at about 8 feet high.

He wasn't sure if the dog had bit the kid on purpose or if the dog was playing aggressively..it was a big dog, about 120lbs..and it did play rough with his owner. Nevertheless, the parents did every thing they could to have the dog put down...and eventually they succeeded, because a kid is NEVER wrong..it's always the animals fault...so the city decided.

[bluemount]

Father of drowned Toronto boy faces deportation as a suspected terrorist: documents

Tue Dec 12, 1:36 PM

TORONTO (CP) - The father of an 11-year-old Toronto boy who drowned trying to save a friend is a suspected terrorist facing deportation from Canada, Federal Court documents show.
ADVERTISEMENT

Muralitharan Nadarajah, a native of Sri Lanka, is accused of being a high-ranking member of the Tamil Tigers terrorist group. It's alleged the 45-year old directed the group's operations in Switzerland before coming to Canada.

A CSIS report alleges that Nadarajah was one of the group's top international leaders. The report also says he claimed refugee status in Canada under a false name in 1998 after crossing the border in Montreal.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/061212/national/tamil_suspect_drowning_1

[nahim.a.a]

Put yourself in the shoes of a father who's son is drowned in such a random way and then come back and talk.

I hate insensitive pricks.

[sfu_engineer]

Father of drowned Toronto boy faces deportation as a suspected terrorist: documents

Tue Dec 12, 1:36 PM

TORONTO (CP) - The father of an 11-year-old Toronto boy who drowned trying to save a friend is a suspected terrorist facing deportation from Canada, Federal Court documents show.
ADVERTISEMENT

Muralitharan Nadarajah, a native of Sri Lanka, is accused of being a high-ranking member of the Tamil Tigers terrorist group. It's alleged the 45-year old directed the group's operations in Switzerland before coming to Canada.

A CSIS report alleges that Nadarajah was one of the group's top international leaders. The report also says he claimed refugee status in Canada under a false name in 1998 after crossing the border in Montreal.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/061212/national/tamil_suspect_drowning_1

Good for him! That's what you get for blaming the city for your own mess.

Also... the guys is quite a character. He has been deported and charged for various nefarious deeds in several countries!

[manixc]

Father of drowned Toronto boy faces deportation as a suspected terrorist: documents

Tue Dec 12, 1:36 PM

TORONTO (CP) - The father of an 11-year-old Toronto boy who drowned trying to save a friend is a suspected terrorist facing deportation from Canada, Federal Court documents show.
ADVERTISEMENT

Muralitharan Nadarajah, a native of Sri Lanka, is accused of being a high-ranking member of the Tamil Tigers terrorist group. It's alleged the 45-year old directed the group's operations in Switzerland before coming to Canada.

A CSIS report alleges that Nadarajah was one of the group's top international leaders. The report also says he claimed refugee status in Canada under a false name in 1998 after crossing the border in Montreal.

http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/capress/061212/national/tamil_suspect_drowning_1

This is an unexpected turn of events.

[ill_mango]

Fencing isn't the end all be all solution. There will be kids who find the fencing the attraction to climb over and still get into whatever they want to get into.


I never said that, but it's clearly safer than no fencing. Fencing will keep the smart/unrebellious kids out, which is probably >50% of them.

And for those of you who somehow think that the father got what he had coming to him because of his past are ridiculous insensitive pricks. A child is dead. Perhaps instead of placing blame people should try to figure out how to prevent another from the same fate.

[rock hard]

Gonna have to put up a fence around Lake Ontario soon! keep the idiots out of the water incase they are stupid enough to walk on thin ice.. I am sympathitic for the family loosing their son, I would be devistated!

Oh yeah, forgot about the fencing project around the coast line too.. But then the kids will just jump the fence and drown anyways!
After reading that post about the terrorist activity crap, the whole family should have been out of Canada. This wouldn't have happened in Sri Lanka, or would it?

my .02 worth.

[stevethewheel]

What is the point of releasing the information concerning the family status?

I admit I am as intrigued that two sensational events are connected and I have that can't-look-away feeling but....

Does it have anything to do with an accidental death or the prevention of future accidents?

I think it takes us away from the horror and that reduces the sense of grief over the loss.

I can't say I like the media playing such games :(

[Nightgod]

From your link:
"Maybe we should be making them less accessible to people," he muses. "There's always water in the ponds. They're getting deeper and deeper."

Yea.. maybe we should make the lake less accessible, how about giant mats at the side of the road instead of curbs?

'there's always water in the ponds.'... no.. really? what kind of pond doesn't have water in it?
I live in that area, I was outside BBQ when I saw the helicopter over my head.
I say one thing when it comes to vote for a fence around the pond I will vote not to have it put up. I believe the parents should watch there kids.

[Rembrandt100]

Some parents are just lazy. First off, it's winter, in the minuses...your going to let your kids go outside and play soccer? Isn't it a little too cold? Why do we even have these ponds, I live fairly close to one and it's depressing to look at it. People use it to dispose their waste, theirs always mosquitoes there and the water is not even blue..it's brown.

The reason that the pond is there is because it is a retension pond. It controls the water entering the sewer system if it is hooked to the system at all. Some are not hooked up to the municipl system and are the sole place for the areas rainwater to be collected.

Dave