Did you grew up "privileged" or "unprivileged"?

[Takami]

I read on the internet (HAHA!) that people's success is determined by the amount of "privilege" or "special attention" that they were exposed to during their up bringing. People received these special attentions or "privilege" due to their qualities, certain physical attributes, or sometimes sheer luck.

For example, people in gifted programs receives more attention because they proved at some point of their childhood that they are bright and can learn at a faster pace than average people. Many of these people grew up to be successful individuals.

A more personal example is, in my (maternal) family, my grandpa was a smart businessman and he managed to make a good fortune and even retired in his 30's. My mom have over 10 siblings but my grandpa put a lot of attention into his 2 elder sons. He taught them his secrets to being a good business person. Today, one uncle is a CEO for a Fortune 1000 company, and the other is a seafood distributor in Asia with channels in several countries. You can say that they both are doing okay. My aunts and younger uncles however, were not taught on how to make serious dough, partly because they are either women in an Asian family, or being the youngest.

My mom was also a younger sibling, however she was (as I was told) very pretty and she was my grandpa's favorite. Partly because of that, my grandpa spent a lot of time with my mom in her homework, and she received the most and highest education level compared to her siblings.

So this "privilege"/special attention can also occur in the family. My question is, did you feel that you were "privileged"/"special attention" by others (your parents, teachers, etc) in your upbringing and did it put you in a better position in life after you grew up?

Edit: it seems some people are confused with the term "privilege". Having privilege means not only there is somebody, be it a parent, a teacher or a mentor who not only favor you, but also spend the extra time and energy (and money to a certain extend) to help you. That extra push/hand out is something that other people didn't get.

EditX2: I added the word "special attention" also, but don't confuse this with someone receiving special attention because he/she is too stupid or mentally challenged.

Lastly, this has NOTHING to do with wealth!!!!!!!!!

You can be an unprivileged person in a rich family! Think of those kids whose parents who are never home and are always out working or socializing. These parents often buy nice things like game consoles and train sets for their kid, mostly out of guilt. Having all major game consoles in your possession is not called having "privilege", neither is having money, or a roof on your head.

[NiMSo]

Ummm, the term 'privileged' is so vague... it can mean anything, so your poll is somewhat meaningless without context. Also, it's a fairly relative term - for example, anyone born in Canada can be considered 'privileged' with respect to those from 3rd world countries.

[florider]

I know someone who came from a very poor family and she's now a lawyer.

She wasn't the smartest in the class (her teachers probably wouldn't remember her).

It was her determination which helped her become a lawyer.

You can learn from her (no need to be obsessed about making your kids smart).

[gman]

What is the definition of "privileged" here?

I thought "privileged" means you are in a rich/educated family instead of poor/under-educated family when I read the title. It seems it means something else here. It seems it means "favorite" more.

[Takami]

Ummm, the term 'privileged' is so vague... it can mean anything, so your poll is somewhat meaningless without context. Also, it's a fairly relative term - for example, anyone born in Canada can be considered 'privileged' with respect to those from 3rd world countries.

You're right, I'm not really an expert in this.

Perhaps what I mean by privilege is that at some point in your early life, somebody, be it a parent, a teacher, a kung fu master or shaolin monk, put in the extra effort to help you (either with time, energy, or money) which was not given to the same peer (your sibling, classmates) in your situation.

[Takami]

What is the definition of "privileged" here?

I thought "privileged" means you are in a rich/educated family instead of poor/under-educated family when I read the title. It seems it means something else here. It seems it means "favorite" more.

Again, I apologize for my inability to use a better word. It doesn't have to be money, it can be time and effort, which a lot of time, means more.

[florider]

What is the definition of "privileged" here?

I thought "privileged" means you are in a rich/educated family instead of poor/under-educated family when I read the title. It seems it means something else here. It seems it means "favorite" more.

Takami already gave his definition of priviledged.

And he's right.

Good-looking people are treated nicer by society.

[Takami]

I know someone who came from a very poor family and she's now a lawyer.

She wasn't the smartest in the class (her teachers probably wouldn't remember her).

It was her determination which helped her become a lawyer.

You can learn from her (no need to be obsessed about making your kids smart).

Again, she doesn't have to be rich... she could have at some point been given a job by her aunt who have worked as a legal clerk in a law firm, and one of the partners liked her and taught her his/her secret to becoming a successful lawyer, given her unlimited access to old cases and law books in the firm's library, and directions to where to get financial resources to advance her education. That is a privilege that normal people could not have gotten.

I hope you guys are beginning to catch where I am going with this by now.

[gman]

Takami already gave his definition of priviledged.

And he's right.

Good-looking people are treated nicer by society.

Well, I don't think that is what his definition implies. It is more like

society likes good looking people more, hence, gives them more attention/care. Hence, they are more successful.

[I am not saying the above statement is true or false]

[sexpuppet6000]

roof over head,
food on table,
free elementary, middle, and secondary education,
good health,
loving family and friends,


Yes. Yes indeed I grew up privileged.

[gman]

Based on my understanding of the definition, I was a favorite one at home but not a favorite one in school. Although I was a favorite one at home, I was not the one my parents spend their energy to. Basically, they did not need to 'care' for someone who did not need to be care.

So, I don't know if I was a 'privileged' one or not.

[CSR]

My psych prof. said that professional success is a result of a combination of intelligence and effort! Of course there will always be exceptions.

[Gloaming]

we were really poor until my father finished school, but then things got really good for us. The thing was- school was ALWAYS our top priority, even when we were eating KD twice a week for supper. The cost of education DOES discriminate against people with low incomes- BUT- people in today's society need to get their head's out of their buts and start giving our tradespeople the respect they deserve- just because you don't pull straight A's in school doesn't mean you can't make a great living as a contractor/electrician/plumber/mechanic.

[Bskll]

there is always going to be anecdotal evidence of people who beat the odds and come from a very low socioeconomic level to reach a much higher one. However, statistically speaking, your socioeconomic background still plays a major part in your eventual socioeconomic level. most of the people with access to post-secondary education today are from a middle class background. it is still quite rare to see someone who is living below the poverty line and complete a post-secondary degree in Canada today.

that's what my sociology prof said in class :).

[manixc]

I thought we already cover this topic or a similar one last month.

http://www.redflagdeals.com/forums/showthread.php?t=683839&highlight=rich

actually, you are the same OP.

[gman]

I thought we already cover this topic or a similar one last month.

http://www.redflagdeals.com/forums/showthread.php?t=683839&highlight=rich

actually, you are the same OP.

Actually, it is not the same. It is not about how rich or poor the family is. It is about something else. However, most people including myself is confused with the title of the thread. The word "privileged" he used in the title is not the conventional meaning we expect.

[CanadianMike]

I thought we already cover this topic or a similar one last month.

http://www.redflagdeals.com/forums/showthread.php?t=683839&highlight=rich

actually, you are the same OP.
owned.....:lol:

http://www.funnyforumpics.com/forums/fail/4/Fail-cat.jpg

[manixc]

Actually, it is not the same. It is not about how rich or poor the family is. It is about something else. However, most people including myself is confused with the title of the thread. The word "privileged" he used in the title is not the conventional meaning we expect.

The term should've been "favored" then.

Either way, both topics are discussing similar issues, which are success due to environment/circumstance.

[the_fm]

roof over head,
food on table,
free elementary, middle, and secondary education,
good health,
loving family and friends,


Yes. Yes indeed I grew up privileged.

+1
that pretty much summed it up *high five* :razz:

[Takami]

Ohh.. for the last time, this has NOTHING to do with wealth!!!!!!!!!

You can be an unprivileged person in a rich family! Think of those kids whose parents are never home and are always out working or socializing. These parents often buy nice things like game consoles and train sets for their kid, mostly out of guilt. Having all major game consoles in your possession is not called having "privilege", neither is having money, or a roof on your head.

[gman]

Ohh.. for the last time, this has NOTHING to do with wealth!!!!!!!!!

You can be an unprivileged person in a rich family! Think of those kids whose parents are never home and are always out working or socializing. These parents often buy nice things like game consoles and train sets for their kid, mostly out of guilt. Having all major game consoles in your possession is not called having "privilege", neither is having money, or a roof on your head.

You better stop using the word "privileged" because nobody really gets your self-defined definition. Find a better word to replace that. In normal term, all those are considered 'privileged'.

[NiftyScent]

If you're born here, you're "privileged". You didn't do squat to earn what you're given. There are people in the roughest parts of the world who spend their whole lives with their asses bent over picking rice all day.

[Takami]

You better stop using the word "privileged" because nobody really gets your self-defined definition. Find a better word to replace that. In normal term, all those are considered 'privileged'.

Very good point my friend! It seems like right now, you are the only one who understand exactly what I am trying to ask.

Would favored be a better word? Even though someone who likes or favor you don't always have the resources to help. Howabout "special attention"?

[heymikey]

roof over head,
food on table,
free elementary, middle, and secondary education,
good health,
loving family and friends,


Yes. Yes indeed I grew up privileged.
+1

Being born into a stable and tight-knit family whose culture strongly values education is privilege enough.

[florider]

Would favored be a better word?

Did you grow up "lucky" or "unlucky"?

Did you grow up "blessed" or "deprived"?

Did you grow up "supported" or "ignored/neglected"?

[Takami]

Did you grow up "lucky" or "unlucky"?

Did you grow up "blessed" or "deprived"?

Did you grow up "supported" or "ignored/neglected"?

I think your words are too broad for this application.

[shannn]

I grew up unprivilaged and on the wrong side of town
Hung out with teh wrong people, grew thick skin, did bad things

Was all going downhill but luckily I met my girlfriend
She turned things around
And now, my past is just that...the past...but it has taught me to be street smart and sensical during hectic times...and I can defend myself if the time comes
And hopefully, I will be in the community health field soon (hopefully as a doc ==> Doctor Acula, lol), and hopefully I can help kids, adults, the elderly, those w/ special needs, anyone in the community w/ their health and provide inspiration and aspiration

I wish I grew up in a more privilaged house, had parents that bought me a condo/car, and didn't waste so much time doing bad things, but, you can't change the past, you just have to appreciate what you have...just really thankful for my gf who helped turned things around though :cheesygri

[zoolander]

Teaching people to have a “growth mind-set,” which encourages a focus on effort rather than on intelligence or talent, produces high achievers in school and in life.
Parents and teachers can engender a growth mind-set in children by praising them for their effort or persistence (rather than for their intelligence), by telling success stories that emphasize hard work and love of learning, and by teaching them about the brain as a learning machine.

http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?id=the-secret-to-raising-smart-kids

[aquariaguy]

+1

Being born into a stable and tight-knit family whose culture strongly values education is privilege enough.

:arrowu:

That's all you need. A strong family with values.

[Justine]

My parents and I left a communist country when I was little and moved to Canada. I am the first in my family to graduate university. I haven't really been successful yet.

[ali123]

:arrowu:

That's all you need. A strong family with values.

+100 the rest is up to you

[MrMoo]

we moved here when i was little.. it was hard for my parents for the first few years.. but now my mom doesnt have to work, my parents drive a lexus and a bmw and have a cottage at blue mountain :cheesygri they both worked very hard for what they have..

[weare3]

I read on the internet (HAHA!) that people's success is determined by the amount of "privilege" or "special attention" that they were exposed to during their up bringing. People received these special attentions or "privilege" due to their qualities, certain physical attributes, or sometimes sheer luck.

For example, people in gifted programs receives more attention because they proved at some point of their childhood that they are bright and can learn at a faster pace than average people. Many of these people grew up to be successful individuals.


Interesting thought. But how did you not mention Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers? I mean it's only one of the hottests books out right now, and has created lively discussions on the internet about this issue of being "privileged", such as Bill Gates having a computer when no one else did, and look where it got him.

And just to say, you can't equate Gifted with success. That is where "privilege", as well as guidance comes in. This is also coming from someone who has been in the Gifted program.

[Takami]

And just to say, you can't equate Gifted with success. That is where "privilege", as well as guidance comes in. This is also coming from someone who has been in the Gifted program.

Being gifted at a young age made your teachers and parents notice you more (compared to your siblings or classmates in the regular programs), and that "special attention" you got because of that, puts you in a much better position to become successful later on in life.

Similarly, under this idea, the people who will come out from African-centric school in Toronto in a few years will have a higher likelihood of becoming successful, just from the sheer amount of effort put into their development; although that is not a financially sound idea and it is unfair for others without this "privilege" in an equal country like Canada. However, I prefer not to discuss that topic here. Please refer to another thread that talks about that.

[gordholio]

I grew up in a low-income family. My dad kept telling me we were poor.
I guess relatively speaking, we were, but I never really considered myself poor.
My dad and mom worked hard (in factories) to support our family and never took time off.
My dad would go to work every day with a lunch of a 1 or 2 cheese or peanut butter sandwiches and an apple and an orange - and a thermos of coffee. Every single day - basically the same thing.
He NEVER spent money at work. He could go through the whole week with $100 in his wallet and not spend a dime.
My mom would not buy new clothing for herself, she would buy from the Salvation Army store; but the kids did get new cloting, albeit from cheaper sources like Zellers or K-Mart (at the time, there was no Wal-Mart in Canada).
I got a few things for Christmas here and there.
We never starved or looked shabby.

[yucksta]

i believe i'm incredibly privileged/blessed but that's a relative term.

you tell me... here's my family's story:

- both of my parents are from the same rural village in pakistan, which less than 10 years ago did not have running water nor electricity
- my paternal grandfather was an illiterate subsistence farmer
- my dad's generation was the first to learn to read/write and go to school and he excelled in school but didn't enjoy it very much (was just gifted)
- my dad was the youngest of 11 children
- my mother never went to school (except later in Canada for ESL) but her father, who had been in the british army during world war 2, taught her how to read/write in urdu so she was one of the first literate in our entire home region
- she was one of 14 children, her mother died when she was young
- my dad was the first professional anything in my family
- he left pakistan because he lacked "connections" and felt out of place with his co-horts given his humble beginnings and needed to provide for his entire family
- i was the first member of my family born outside of pakistan, and in fact, in a hospital
- i grew up and went to school in a very WASPy area, so needless to say, spent a lot of time feeling very different and still have trouble connecting/trusting other people (that's been the only minus in growing up here and having all of these privileges compared to my cousins back home; guess there's a price to pay for everything)

[Fookmi]

I'm still growing

[jayisthebest88]

*grow*


..and I think you're mis-using the term "privileged".

[pai]

ar u reading outlier?

i dont think thats what the author meant, by ur definition of privilege..

[Takami]

ar u reading outlier?

i dont think thats what the author meant, by ur definition of privilege..

That's a very good book by the way, but I am asking something that is not exactly the same.

However, I don't like where this thread is going, especially with the number of people who posted how poor they are, which is not the point for the 1000000th time.