Parenting & Family

Boy threw big tantrum on registration day at school..( Report card in Feb ...All good now..)

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[OP]
Deal Addict
Jan 7, 2014
1904 posts
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Boy threw big tantrum on registration day at school..( Report card in Feb ...All good now..)

Took the boy to school for registration.
He started behaving his usual way ...trying to touch and pick everything , running around in the hallway ..asking for something to eat in the middle of we filling forms and then there was big mess .. he started rolling on floor, crying , yelling ....big drama..

Are we toast?

My boy ( 4 years) never went to any day care.. stayed with mom all the time .. He is intelligent but big time naughty.. atleast thats the way we feel..

We met the admin lady who took all the forms and documents etc but a teacher also came to talk to us..Along with many tips she gave she also told to talk to family doctor who she said will recommend a pediatrician who will do a full developmental exam/assessment and will give a report for school....We already have a pediatrician....My question is .... Is our admission to KG not guaranteed...What will the pediatrician do?

Never thought we would need to go to doctor or something....

She asked to put the kid in the private pre KG school which we kind of now regret not doing it earlier.....

Love my boy a lot but he is way too naughty..... Can the school refuse to put my boy in KG if he is too naughty?
Last edited by Asker123 on Apr 6th, 2016 4:27 pm, edited 2 times in total.
55 replies
Sr. Member
Jun 5, 2011
846 posts
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LONDON
sounds like mommy may have spoiled him and school will be real wake up call for him ;)

i would hold off on the developmental exam until he has been in school for a couple weeks. Its a tough transition and it'll probably be rough for the first couple weeks but he won't be the only one.

If it continues with no signs of him levelling out then he may have some behavioural issues that will require attention but don't jump to that conclusion yet. I would recommend you find some structured activities for him to do with other kids his age (day camps at the YMCA) so he can get used to the change in advance.
[OP]
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Jan 7, 2014
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phideltreefer wrote:
Apr 6th, 2016 4:36 pm
sounds like mommy may have spoiled him and school will be real wake up call for him ;)

i would hold off on the developmental exam until he has been in school for a couple weeks. Its a tough transition and it'll probably be rough for the first couple weeks but he won't be the only one.

If it continues with no signs of him levelling out then he may have some behavioural issues that will require attention but don't jump to that conclusion yet. I would recommend you find some structured activities for him to do with other kids his age (day camps at the YMCA) so he can get used to the change in advance.
Thanks ...But she has asked to do this development exam etc so how can we not do it....there is " welcome to Kindergarten" orientation next week. when we go there wouldn't she ask again?
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Sep 5, 2009
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You don't have to do anything. Your kid was dealing with a pretty major transition and had an outburst. That is normal. If he has outbursts once a day like that then you might need some help.

But I have a major problem with a school that meets a child for a few minutes and then decides they need a developmental assessment. Experienced educators would have acknowledged that this is a difficult transition and would have been more supportive in helping your son feel more comfortable. They could have done this by bringing out toys and spending time talking to him.
Newbie
Oct 27, 2014
24 posts
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Barrie, ON
My Dad would've slapped me on the back of the head and told me to shut up.

Parents today are too busy trying to be the kids friend instead of actually raising an adult.

Then they wonder why kids today are largely entitled brats who are in need of a serious ass kicking.
Moderator
May 28, 2012
9335 posts
1734 upvotes
Saskatoon
If he acts like this normally, you are doing to have to do something about changing his behaviour. It won't be easy, especially if you've let him get away with tantrums and passing off them off as him simply being "naughty". The teacher will have enough on her hands just getting the children used to the school routine without having to deal with several disruptive children. In our province, we don't have Jr and Sr kindergarten, only the one and they can start earlier than age five (they have to be five by end of the year they enter kindergarten). A lot of teachers recommend starting later rather than sooner if there are maturity issues, regardless of how smart they may be.
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Nov 16, 2008
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public school? They have no choice but to take him
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Oct 6, 2005
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Asker123 wrote:
Apr 6th, 2016 4:27 pm
Love my boy a lot but he is way too naughty..... Can the school refuse to put my boy in KG if he is too naughty?
Yes, your child maybe labeled as a special needs child and sent to an alternative school / program. Principals can also exclude problematic children if the school doesn't have resources to deal with them.

If you do have an assessment done, do it privately - via work insurance or other means, not via the school board. That way only you have access to the results and you can decide whether or not your child needs treatment.

Also it may take a few months for the child to adjust to kindergarten, my child has some issues at school but nowhere near your child and he's was already recommended for assessment! So in some sense, some teachers maybe a bit too eager to recommend assessment of children that are not sedate. After about 5 months in school, things are now getting much better...
Sr. Member
Jan 2, 2015
924 posts
312 upvotes
Lots of areas I want to comment on.

If it's a public school, they will have to let him initially. However, that doesn't mean it is the best fit and they can ask for assessment to try to find a better which may mean extra resources (if coded) or recommend a different school.

It could be the way that you worded your post, but it doesn't like you were surprised that he acted this way and her is often 'naughty'. If this was registration, and not actually school, then that wasn't a transition for him at all. It was the parents running an errand. Does he normally act like this or often? What is done at home to correct the behaviour? Is it that despite all efforts on the parents, he still acts like this, and is struggling to understand what appropriate behaviour is or act that way or is it that he has been allowed to get away with it because it has been allowed?


Depending on the answer may depend on if he needs an assessment. If you and his mom have honestly tried everything to teach him and he is unable to have regulate himself, then it could be developmental. An assessment would help to see if there is anything else that may be impact his behaviour. In this case, why wouldn't you want to get an assessment to help figure out how to best meets your sons need?

If he acts like this because he has been taught, or its allowed at home, then it is not he whom needs the assessment. You and his mom cannot expect the school to correct home behaviours. The home has a much stronger influence than the school, and you need figure out how you are going to fix this.

Most kids are not naughty by nature, it is a learned behaviour or there is something developmentally. He has either learned that being naughty gets him what he wants, or there is something that developmentally is causing it.
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Feb 1, 2009
757 posts
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Markham, GTA
My boy is naughty too, in a different way than what OP has posted -- easy to get distracted, like to distract others, having too much fun during recess, etc.

We've been told by different grade teachers that we "might want to consider seeing a doctor / getting an assessment done" if his behaviour doesn't improve. But we never did.

Not because we don't care, but because we believe it takes time to change behaviour; that it is too premature to suspect developmental issues (no dramatic improvement after a few talks = developmental issues? seriously?); and we felt that this kind of comments/suggestions are being tossed around a little too liberally.

Mis-behaviour needs to be addressed, period; but I don't like being pushed to see a doctor when the teachers (as busy and as diligent as they are) fail to affect behavioural change a couple times and decide that some other professionals should give it a go.
If my sanity has to go, it is my job to keep its absence to myself. :D
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May 29, 2005
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Nepean
Read this book: https://play.google.com/store/books/det ... QT48z4mpoC

We saw a psychologist for my son and found that he was gifted - meaning that we have to work on his behaviour. In the end they recommended that we read the Everyday Parenting Toolkit and Smart but Scattered. They are basically the same book but the Toolkit was super easy to read and very concise. I read it over the course of two weeks on my phone 10 min at a time.

After reading the book, it changed my perspective on raising my kids. In fact, I've been telling people that it has changed my life for the better. My son's behavioural problems improved dramatically and I've kept my temper down dramatically. I'll be using the toolkit as long as I have my kids.

Here are the key points:
1. Make sure the child is in a good mood before you ask them to do something - e.g. if they are tired and grumpy you are in for an up hill battle
2. Tell your child how to behave rather than how not to behave - for example, if your child flops on the ground when he doesn't get what he wants explain to your child to stand up and tell you that it isn't what he wants. The key then is to actually act it out a few times and when he does do it in real life praise the child. Also, when you give the praise really ham it up and make a big deal so that there is a big positive association.
3. Don't expect miracles right away - e.g. maybe start with 5 min of reading rather than expecting 20 min and work your way up
4. Reward charts for doing but never punishments
5. Work on one behaviour at a time otherwise you and the child will get frustrated and not keep up with the plan. Be specific about the behaviour too. Something like wanting your child to be polite isn't going to work because they don't know how to be polite, something like saying "hi" to guests when they arrive is better goal.

Anyway, read the book because I'm sure I'm missing something.
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Jun 28, 2007
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Worth reading this article: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/nat ... /?page=all

A key passage:
But some see a system of harried parents, school officials and general practitioners too ready to label rambunctious young males. While boys might be three times more likely than girls to develop ADHD, research suggests they are nine times more likely to be sent for a clinical assessment and five times more likely to be medicated for it.
Sr. Member
Mar 24, 2015
533 posts
90 upvotes
Ottawa, ON
jamzbe wrote:
Apr 7th, 2016 3:18 pm
Read this book: https://play.google.com/store/books/det ... QT48z4mpoC

We saw a psychologist for my son and found that he was gifted - meaning that we have to work on his behaviour. In the end they recommended that we read the Everyday Parenting Toolkit and Smart but Scattered. They are basically the same book but the Toolkit was super easy to read and very concise. I read it over the course of two weeks on my phone 10 min at a time.
I see you're in the Nepean area. Would you mind telling me which psychologist is it? We think our son might be gifted. Did you see other specialist before the psychologist?
My 6 yr old can be quite naughty at school. He gets bored because he's done his stuff way ahead of time and then he goes on disturbing others. There are many occasions where we don't know what to do after trying so many different approaches and I've lost my cool many times. Thanks for the book suggestion. I'm going to take a look at it.
Sr. Member
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May 29, 2005
552 posts
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Nepean
ckay,

We did not see anyone else. We went to our psychologist through a recommendation.

We saw Dr. James Brazeau https://www.cfir.ca/InitialAppointment.php. He is downtown though.

We had a full psychological assessment and it took two sessions of three hours each for my son. We also had an initial visit and a post visit. Overall it cost $2800. A gifted test will be cheaper. Note however that there are different degrees of giftedness and our exam used a different scale than the public school scale. Also, at age 6 the gifted program is not French immersion. The schools initial plan is to accommodate the child and switching schools is a last resort.

Good luck.
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Oct 1, 2004
3633 posts
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Toronto
beeknight wrote:
Apr 7th, 2016 2:25 pm
My boy is naughty too, in a different way than what OP has posted -- easy to get distracted, like to distract others, having too much fun during recess, etc.

We've been told by different grade teachers that we "might want to consider seeing a doctor / getting an assessment done" if his behaviour doesn't improve. But we never did.

Not because we don't care, but because we believe it takes time to change behaviour; that it is too premature to suspect developmental issues (no dramatic improvement after a few talks = developmental issues? seriously?); and we felt that this kind of comments/suggestions are being tossed around a little too liberally.

Mis-behaviour needs to be addressed, period; but I don't like being pushed to see a doctor when the teachers (as busy and as diligent as they are) fail to affect behavioural change a couple times and decide that some other professionals should give it a go.
Your in denial, you might want to think of the other 20 students in his class getting distracted and disturbed, some teachers have gone through hundreds of students and see your kids more hours than you in a day so you should probably take their advice and seek professional help. Typical helicopter parenting.

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