Parenting & Family

Busy working parents life vs Doing nothing after work

  • Last Updated:
  • May 20th, 2017 9:41 am
[OP]
Deal Fanatic
Jun 7, 2005
7414 posts
389 upvotes

Busy working parents life vs Doing nothing after work

As busy working parents, my wife and I are super busy with two young kids everyday including weekdays (for extracurricular classes). I wonder what other couples without kids would do after work. They probably have all the time enjoying their life. On the hand, I guess most parents would agree that they are enjoying the moments as parents seeing kids growing every day, even it is super tiring and we sacrifice all personal time & sleeping time ;)

In facts, I do know female friends who do not work nor have kids, that I really wonder how they spend all time every day. Can't really watch TV and browse internet for the whole day and every day Grinning Face With Smiling Eyes
18 replies
Deal Addict
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Mar 23, 2008
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Edmonton
Guy here, kids are living with my ex, and are old enough that they're out on their own most of the time anyway...

Evenings/weekends... House project (still in reno mode), hobbies (wood-working), exercise (golf, running/walking). We seem to spend more time than one might expect "snooping" as my GF says, which is basically window shopping for "whatever".

C
[OP]
Deal Fanatic
Jun 7, 2005
7414 posts
389 upvotes
Thanks for sharing. You are in different stage and situation though, with kids living with ex and they are old enough to go out by themselves. I actually have friends with grown up kids (high school and university) and they told me that they now need to book "an appointment" with the kids if they want to have a dinner together. Thus, they told us to enjoy the busy time now Face With Tears Of Joy
CNeufeld wrote:
May 8th, 2017 10:27 am
Guy here, kids are living with my ex, and are old enough that they're out on their own most of the time anyway...

Evenings/weekends... House project (still in reno mode), hobbies (wood-working), exercise (golf, running/walking). We seem to spend more time than one might expect "snooping" as my GF says, which is basically window shopping for "whatever".

C
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Mar 23, 2008
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rdx wrote:
May 8th, 2017 10:42 am
Thanks for sharing. You are in different stage and situation though, with kids living with ex and they are old enough to go out by themselves. I actually have friends with grown up kids (high school and university) and they told me that they now need to book "an appointment" with the kids if they want to have a dinner together. Thus, they told us to enjoy the busy time now Face With Tears Of Joy
You asked what couples without kids spent their time doing... I'm effectively "without kids". Basically, if you didn't have kids with schedules that ate up your lives, you'd have time for hobbies and activities of your own, whatever that might be.

Sorry if that wasn't the answer you're looking for. Maybe I'm not sure what you're asking.

C
[OP]
Deal Fanatic
Jun 7, 2005
7414 posts
389 upvotes
Got it ;)
CNeufeld wrote:
May 8th, 2017 10:48 am
You asked what couples without kids spent their time doing... I'm effectively "without kids". Basically, if you didn't have kids with schedules that ate up your lives, you'd have time for hobbies and activities of your own, whatever that might be.

Sorry if that wasn't the answer you're looking for. Maybe I'm not sure what you're asking.

C
Deal Addict
Apr 28, 2004
1685 posts
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Toronto
rdx wrote:
May 8th, 2017 9:59 am
I wonder what other couples without kids would do after work.
Maybe doing the "work" to make kids...!?!

But in all seriousness, why are your kids so booked in extracurricular actitivies that you have zero time for yourselves? Sure, I feel like I'm a chauffeur sometimes, but my wife and I usually bring a book to read or download some of the latest episodes onto our ipad/phones to catch up on. Better yet, my wife's even decided to take up karate along with my daughter years ago and is now a black belt. Or you can get them to take up some of your hobbies/activities like biking or skiing.

Even some of the stuff CNeufeld brought up, I've included my kids sometimes. When we went through some renos, I've had my daughter "help" out in her younger days. Of course, everything was safety first, but she got her hands dirty and learned a bit too. This past summer, when the 12-yr old wanted to redo her bedroom, she did all of it by herself (repainted walls/trims, installed new faucets and shower hardware, caulking, assembled new bed, desk and shelves, installed curtain rods, etc.)

As a last point, you can always use your kids to make evenings less "busy". Both our kids helps out prepping meals (ie washing rice or vegetables, older one does some chopping, etc), setting & clearing tables, loading & unloading dishwasher, etc.
Newbie
Feb 28, 2011
98 posts
21 upvotes
Ottawa
Ha - well, I'm living with my boyfriend and we don't yet have kids. I have a pretty busy after-work life: I volunteer as Treasurer for a charity (takes up an evening a week; until recently, I was doing the same for another not-for-profit), I tutor a few kids in Math and French (2-3 nights a week), we spend an evening a week with my in-laws and/or other family members, get together w/ friends once a week or every other week. The rest of the time it's maintaining the household: shopping, laundry, chores. And of course things like taking care of personal appearance, i.e. gym. Trust me... I am NOT bored. Far from it. And I hardly watch any TV... maybe have the game in the background while doing some stuff on the computers. Oh, and my parents/sibling live out of town, but within driving/train-ing distance, so one weekend every month, I'm visiting them.

I'm busy enough that when we do have kids, I'll have to give up some of the things I do right now.
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Feb 15, 2005
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I look forward to having a more relaxed home life. Right now its:
18h00: get home from work, maybe watch the news... mostly Treehouse right now.
19h00: try to feed my kid or play outside. Or both...
20h00: bath time and some play time
Sometime after 20h30: bedtime. This takes up to 2 hours. Astonished Face :rolleyes:

There's not a lot of time to squeeze much in between on the weekdays. Weekends allow a few extra hours for activities but it's mostly the same. Basic things like eating can take SOOOooo long...
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Sr. Member
Mar 24, 2015
576 posts
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Ottawa, ON
Before we had kids, my husband and I used to dine out, cinema or watch movies at home, and play a LOT of online video games. Battlefield 1942 and BF2 were out favourite. Every night for 3hrs. We even were part of a clan and had matches. Then we decided to have kids and the games are collecting dust ahah.
Deal Guru
Dec 31, 2005
13191 posts
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Of course being without kids would be different than with kids...but doesn't mean you cannot have a life. With three kids, we do limit their extracurricular activities--they can each only have one during the school week. I try and go to the gym 3 or 4 times during the week. If there is an opportunity to go out, then since our oldest is now 13, he can babysit the middle and youngest. So while we don't go out a ton, we have gone out to movies, dinner, or a Leaf game.

Now that being said, we also love going out with the kids. We do go to Church on Sunday, but then will often go out for brunch (Dim Sum, Dosa, Ethiopian...something fun).

Out side of that we still read, watch some movies, garden, go to the cottage, go out with friends....just not all the time.
Sr. Member
Jan 2, 2015
974 posts
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With or without kids I always am busy. I actually don't like not doing something.

Before kids -
Work longer hours to establish my career, which included a lot of out of town travel
Socialize after work with colleagues and sports teams
Volunteer
Visit with friends - go to parties, bars, movies, whatever,
Go out of town with friends

With kids
Work with kids on their homework, sport, and activities
Take kids to play dates and socialize with parents of friends
Volunteer at kids related things
Visit friends, go out to kids birthday parties, movies, and family stuff
Go out of town with kids and travel

I find my activities are similar (except maybe bars and stuff) but just slightly different company.
I try to make the most of my time with the kids and with my non kid activities. The latter is less frequent only.
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May 22, 2016
809 posts
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I send my kids out to play with their friends to play sports, ride their bikes and just have fun. I lie on the couch and watch netflix or go play with them outside.
Deal Expert
Aug 22, 2011
15755 posts
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Ottawa
Without kids, wife and I would just spend more time at the office; without a "cutoff" time.
Now, I'm gone by 5pm to pickup the kid from daycare and she's either on the way straight home or running errands along the way.
Prior to having a kid, I was accessible 24/7, from our many different offices around the world and I truly believe it would have ended my marriage early on.
[OP]
Deal Fanatic
Jun 7, 2005
7414 posts
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vkizzle wrote:
May 9th, 2017 12:46 pm
Without kids, wife and I would just spend more time at the office; without a "cutoff" time.
Now, I'm gone by 5pm to pickup the kid from daycare and she's either on the way straight home or running errands along the way.
Prior to having a kid, I was accessible 24/7, from our many different offices around the world and I truly believe it would have ended my marriage early on.
I understand what you mean. with kids, our priority now is kids and family :)

A friend of mine who is an investment banker told me the sad story that his colleague had to travel all the time along with long office hours, couldn't spend much time with his young son until it was too late (don't want to go into the sad detail.........). At the end, he quitted his job but he still couldn't forgive himself as nothing could be reversed........ Crying Face
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Nov 13, 2013
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rdx wrote:
May 9th, 2017 1:09 pm
I understand what you mean. with kids, our priority now is kids and family :)

A friend of mine who is an investment banker told me the sad story that his colleague had to travel all the time along with long office hours, couldn't spend much time with his young son until it was too late (don't want to go into the sad detail.........). At the end, he quitted his job but he still couldn't forgive himself as nothing could be reversed........ Crying Face
Don't beat yourself up no matter what happens. Lots of kids who get nothing but good attention from their parents who drop out of school do drugs etc. Most of it is genetic in my opinion. I am the oldest and the personalities my siblings had as babies are still there today. One super determined, one lazy, one nervous and whiny etc.

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