Change Last Name After Marriage?

[iEyeCaptain]

Fellars

Would you want your new perma-ladyfriend to change her last name to yours? (*her first name* *your last name*)

Would you want her to "hyphen" your last name at the end of hers? (*her first name* *her last name*-*your last name*)

Would you want her to keep her last name?

Ladies

Would you change your last name to your new perma-dudefriends? (*your first name* *his last name*)

Would you want to "hyphen" his last name at the end of yours? (*your first name* *your last name*-*his last name*)

Would you want to keep your last name?

I personally do not mind. It's her choice. I would not take her keeping her last name as a sign that she doesn't love me enough.

P.S. There is a new "modern" option of MERGING two last names together and both husband and wife adopt the new last name. The mayor of LA, Antonio Villaraigosa, merged his old last name (Villar) with his wife's maiden name (Raigosa).

[diggler649]

I would only ask her to change her last name if it was embarassing like Fuks or Hardmeat.

By the way, one more post to 2000. Congrats!

[Hairball]

I'd personally prefer my wife just keep her own last name, it's less hassle, and I think in a way it lets her continuing to be herself and have her own identity. Just because you're married doesn't mean you have to be tied at the hip. Historically changing names is like having "ownership" over the woman, obviously it's not now, but it's still symbolic. Plus it saves her the work of changing it back if things go downhill.

Hyphenated names are just silly though, I wouldn't want her to do that. As for kids, in my opinion they should use the father's name even if the mother didn't change her own.

[wszeto28]

I just got engaged.

I would want her to change her name but I would leave the decision up to her. It's way too troublesome changing your name because in addition to the process of changing your name itself, you have to notify all your banks, credit card companies, etc etc.

[Hairball]

I just got engaged.

I would want her to change her name but I would leave the decision up to her. It's way too troublesome changing your name because in addition to the process of changing your name itself, you have to notify all your banks, credit card companies, etc etc.

But, is this a major issue for you though? Is this something you can really "discuss" with her before the wedding as it's her personal identity?

[wszeto28]

But, is this a major issue for you though? Is this something you can really "discuss" with her before the wedding as it's her personal identity?

Nope, this is a minor issue. Either way I would be fine with whatever decision she makes. We have actually already discussed this and pretty much agree that it's not a pressing issue. If it turns out to be too troublesome, then she can just stick with her last name.

[tsat]

Personally i'd want her to change her name but if she didn't want to then whatever, it's up to her. I'm a traditional person so the odds of me marrying someone who wouldn't want to change their name anyways is slim to nil. I never brought it up to my wife, just assumed she would, and she did.

What happens when you have kids? Do you then fight over whose last name goes on the birth certificate? If your kid has some crazy-a$$ long hyphenated last name, how do you make it up to them when they start getting teased at school?

[iEyeCaptain]

I had my legal name changed to use my English name as my first name and Chinese names as middle name.

I agree the process is troublesome and a hassle. The government took 6 months to process my application. Then had to change all my CC, library card, drivers license, passport etc.

$$$ and more $$$.

Edit: 2000th post!

[Hairball]

What happens when you have kids? Do you then fight over whose last name goes on the birth certificate? If your kid has some crazy-a$$ long hyphenated last name, how do you make it up to them when they start getting teased at school?

The kids can just have the father's last name?

[Hairball]

I had my legal name changed to use my English name as my first name and Chinese names as middle name.

I agree the process is troublesome and a hassle. The government took 6 months to process my application. Then had to change all my CC, library card, drivers license, passport etc.

$$$ and more $$$.

Edit: 2000th post!

Yeah, I imagine it is such a pain.

Did you know that all legal name changes in Ontario are published in the Ontario Gazette? It's a legal newsletter of sorts.

[tsat]

The kids can just have the father's last name?

But... What if your wife kept her last name because she like yours, or to keep her own family name alive? Then what do you think she's going to want when kids come around?

What if she's a bra-burner and thinks you're trying to oppress her by giving the kids your last name and not hers?

[mbg]

Since you are making a new life together, I would prefer both people change their last name to something they picked together.

i.e. Ndugu Smith and Nghia Williams decide to get married as Mr. and Mrs. Braithwaite.

[tsat]

that's a good idea, I'm going to change my family name to wiggum

[d182]

I wouldn't care either way. She either keeps hers or takes mine. I wouldn't go for the hyphenated thing. The kids would obviously have to take my last name though.

[Hairball]

But... What if your wife kept her last name because she like yours, or to keep her own family name alive? Then what do you think she's going to want when kids come around?

What if she's a bra-burner and thinks you're trying to oppress her by giving the kids your last name and not hers?

I think those are separate issues, but even if a woman keeps her own name I don't think it necessarily means she can't accept having my name for the kids.

I don't think I'd wanna date or marry a bra-burner, those women are let's say, un-appealing.