Parenting & Family

Child support prior to having a baby?

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  • Mar 29th, 2017 8:48 pm
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Mar 9, 2012
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Messerschmitt wrote:
Mar 5th, 2017 10:05 am
Used that calculator. Even with 0 years in cohabitation, you still end up paying as much as 3x more in spousal support than in child support if she has 0 income.
Not sure where you get that. When I tried, I went with $80,000 and gave her the kids. At worst, spousal support was marginally higher than child support.

Spousal is dependent on incomes of both parties as well as length of co-habitiation.

Anyway, I tried on two different calculators and neither gave me the figures. And in one case, it said I would have to pay between 0 and 4 years. But it equalled child support.
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jeff1970 wrote:
Mar 5th, 2017 9:27 pm
Not sure where you get that. When I tried, I went with $80,000 and gave her the kids. At worst, spousal support was marginally higher than child support.

Spousal is dependent on incomes of both parties as well as length of co-habitiation.

Anyway, I tried on two different calculators and neither gave me the figures. And in one case, it said I would have to pay between 0 and 4 years. But it equalled child support.
My critera was me 80k, her 0, her have the kids, 0 years cohabitation. Both calculators have 2400k monthly (1800 for spousal and 600 for child on the high end). But one said 18 years, the other calcualtor said up to 6
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Messerschmitt wrote:
Mar 5th, 2017 9:51 pm
My critera was me 80k, her 0, her have the kids, 0 years cohabitation. Both calculators have 2400k monthly (1800 for spousal and 600 for child on the high end). But one said 18 years, the other calcualtor said up to 6
Wow....I wonder if it's because of your province. Really would make you realize that 'shared' custody would be the way to go in cases like this. Best interest of the child too, to have both parents.
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I was looking at the justice department website, just to understand it a little better. Duration would be different when kids are involved.

Thank-ful that I have my kids. Yikes....
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My questions is why would you even consider having a child with this person if you're even thinking about child support. Either something is causing you to worry about her or you're doing something fishy yourself. When planning on having a child, most parents would be more worried on how to properly raise the child TOGETHER.
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Momof3cuties wrote:
Feb 24th, 2017 6:29 pm
Spousal support does not kick in until you have been married for a certain amount of time. And I agree spousal support is stupid. It should be temporary and only in certain cases.

But child support, it's your child you should pay. And if people don't want to pay then take care of your child from day one Don't be a weekend parent.

And no birth control is 100% effective. even the birth control pill isn't.
It's not black and white like you think it is. I believe I already told this story once on here so I'll keep it brief. My cousin and his wife split (she cheated on him). They have two young kids. When they got together they both had good paying jobs. During their relationship she quit in order to follow her dreams of owning her own personal training business. She worked at GoodLife as a personal trainer, making very little. He supported her and pretty much paid everything. At this point he has the kids a majority of the time (a large majority).

They both got lawyers and everything is now being done officially. His lawyer recommended he give her $1500 per month as a good will gesture until it goes to court.

I know other guys who would love to have their kids at least half the time if not more but it wasn't permitted. One guy even had his ex move with his daughter to the US and there was nothing he could do to stop it. These are co-workers and I can clearly remember working beside them while they were on the phone fighting tooth and nail to see their kids more than they do. They pay very large amounts of support.

The system may be getting better, but it's not unbiased like you think it is. it applies to the entire system. I couldn't even open an RESP account for my own child. I had to get the wife to open it, due to some government regulation. It's ridiculous
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Momof3cuties wrote:
Feb 24th, 2017 3:50 pm
Yeah cause food, shelter, clothes etc is so cheap. Sounds like your just bitter your husband couldn't spend all his money on you.

A very simple way for either parent to cut down what they pay for child support is to actually be a real parent. Get joint physical custody. And I don't by the "courts don't do that bs". Every man I know that has asked for joint custody has gotten it. The occasions where I've heard anything other then that being awarded there has been very good reasons for it. The reality is that most people complaining about paying child support were happy being weekend parents and not actually having the responsibility of taking care of their kids on a day by day basis.

Makes me cringe when I hear people say "stuck" paying it for years. Yes you have children, you do need to support them for years. What a shock.
I've been on both sides of this (my ex was a total deadbeat dad in every sense of the word), but I've also known many good men who don't even get to see their kids and have to pay and pay and pay through the nose. Sorry if you don't like my words, but they are definitely STUCK paying these biotches. And it happens a lot that people who want to be a dad get alienated and denied access by their ex.
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boonjaca wrote:
Mar 6th, 2017 12:29 pm
My questions is why would you even consider having a child with this person if you're even thinking about child support. Either something is causing you to worry about her or you're doing something fishy yourself. When planning on having a child, most parents would be more worried on how to properly raise the child TOGETHER.
I know many guys that planned for this, but their wives leave (it is usually the woman who initiates divorce) and now their lives take a very bad turn. They pay and pay and pay. The courts are not set up in men's favour either no matter what they might say. I've seen it over and over again. I am honestly glad I don't have a son. If I did, I'd have a hard time recommending marriage and family to him based on what I've seen happening to so many men I've known.
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Nov 13, 2013
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Momof3cuties wrote:
Feb 24th, 2017 6:29 pm
Spousal support does not kick in until you have been married for a certain amount of time. And I agree spousal support is stupid. It should be temporary and only in certain cases.

But child support, it's your child you should pay. And if people don't want to pay then take care of your child from day one Don't be a weekend parent.

And no birth control is 100% effective. even the birth control pill isn't.
Even with 50-50 custody child support still applies if there is an income differential. My (female) colleague has to pay a substantial amount to her ex even though they split 50-50 and they both work.
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Momof3cuties wrote:
Mar 5th, 2017 11:21 am
I have zero sympathy for any person who whines about paying support, and then only sees their child every other weekend if that. Honestly most people I hear complaining about child support have never even tried to have joint custody.
What about those people who have to pay support but the woman (or man) has completely blocked them from seeing their child, you can't just say what you do without thinking it through. Sometimes joint custody is impossible especially if the courts have made so that they can only see their kid(s) on the weekends.

There are so many variables to the legal system, the only way you are going to win is if you pay for a big time lawyer who can yield you results - this will clearly be better in your favour.
Last edited by markopas on Mar 14th, 2017 2:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Chickinvic wrote:
Mar 10th, 2017 5:20 pm
I know many guys that planned for this, but their wives leave (it is usually the woman who initiates divorce) and now their lives take a very bad turn. They pay and pay and pay. The courts are not set up in men's favour either no matter what they might say. I've seen it over and over again. I am honestly glad I don't have a son. If I did, I'd have a hard time recommending marriage and family to him based on what I've seen happening to so many men I've known.
Make sure your potential spouse has an equal (or greater) income to yours and problem solved.
Today it is the husband taking a risk if the woman quits her job and stays home with the kids.
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This is why I love the Philippines so much. Divorce is illegal, and adultery can result in criminal charges and prison time if the cheated spouse wills it. It is even written in their constitution that the state has a duty to safeguard marriage as the bedrock of civilization.

Western society is a zoo. It is messed up and getting messier every year, and it will keep getting worse. The only cure is to leave it for another society with proper values centered around family.
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CensoredByRFD wrote:
Feb 23rd, 2017 11:52 pm
OP, it sounds like you provably shouldn't be married to this woman.
Ha thanks for the link. It was interesting to know (never thought about it or researched it), but the amounts are actually less than I thought they'd be. Realistically, you'd come out ahead if you just left your kid with his mom and paid child support vs staying and being a parent.
Yes, the amounts are actually less than I thought they'd be. One of my friend is not willing to stay with his wife and being a parent. His wife has sued him to the court. As a parent, he should not get married at the very beginning to avoid such things happened.
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