Chinese Gold Medalist told grandparents died a year ago after win

[mucat]

This is tough call. Lets say, when your kid is 14 and you find out your kid is a genius. Princeton wants your kid to study there this September and provides a full scholarship with living expense. Will you let him go? This assume you have to stay here because of other obligations such as you have other kids to take care of.

Damn, this sounds like someone I know (again). Multiple prestige universities want the kid to study there. Schools actually provide flight tickets to fly you there to check out the campus. Professors invite you to their home to have supper. It is crazy.
But going to university is a little bit different. The kid is already "young adult". And if he/she is that good in school, he/she ought to be a very independent and responsible kid. So it is really not the parents decision. The parents usually just laugh in their sleep.

Edit: Typo again, need sleep...

[gman]

I know what you're saying but I'm not sure what I would do. I "think" I would not let him go but then again, something tells me I "might" let him go. It's a tough call because if it's going to make a difference in the kid's future, then why would I want to put up roadblocks but at the same time, it's my kid and I want to be the one to raise my own kid. I do know someone who actually had this happen. The kid (she's now a grown woman, a lawyer, living in Chicago) but when she was a kid, she was offerend just that. A scholarship to go to some private boarding school in the US. She remained there, even though her parents live in Canada and she did eventually marry and stay there. It worked for them but I'm just not sure I could go along with such a thing. I figure if the kids THAT bright, he or she should do okay anyway.

Anyhow, it's an interesting question and I'm being honest when I say I really don't know what I would do.

As I started with "It is a tough call", it is a tough call. The tough part is not about the decision. The tough part is you know regardless which decision you choose, it will totally change the life of the kid. There is no right or wrong decision. Both can be right and both can be wrong because we cannot see the future.

Usually, I would do the coward thing by sticking with one decision (including "kid, you decide") and never bring up "what if" in the rest of my life. ..... However, I cannot stop the kid to bring that up in the future though.

[aplayaz2000]

Some people don't fit in any of the catergories

you mean like kids in the future? after being mixed so much they cannot be categorized at all through ethnicity

thus the future of the human race
long live sacred germany

[divx]

Huh !!!!????? You can't be serious.

speaking from experience, yes, i'm dead serious.

[divx]

"Historically", almost every country was the same. It is just how far back you look at it. FYI, I am Chinese and I am way older than you are. What happened in the history does not mean it should continue to happen. It does not mean it is okay to endorse it (I am not saying you are).

I'm looking at the years between 4000BC to 1997 AD. I do not endorse child abuse at all, it's a such horrible country.

[gman]

I'm looking at the years between 4000BC to 1997 AD. I do not endorse child abuse at all, it's a such horrible country.

Are you suggesting there was no child abuse in other countries within the years you mentioned? And China is the only one? Or, you mean to say something else? I am a bit slow today.

[divx]

^I'm just saying child abuse has been engraved into the Chinese culture, will be a hard thing to change when they've done it for thousands of years. What's more important, is that these widely accepted child abuse does generate results, in which case, is child abuse justified?

[poedua]

^I'm just saying child abuse has been engraved into the Chinese culture, will be a hard thing to change when they've done it for thousands of years. What's more important, is that these widely accepted child abuse does generate results, in which case, is child abuse justified?

Child abuse is never justified IMO...whether child abuse has been engraved into the Chinese culture or not in my view.

btw ...you seem well versed on Chinese culture, do you have Chinese parents by any chance ?

[gman]

^I'm just saying child abuse has been engraved into the Chinese culture, will be a hard thing to change when they've done it for thousands of years.

I disagree. It is not hard to change at all. I am a Chinese parent. I don't see the need to push the kids to do something they don't want to do.

What's more important, is that these widely accepted child abuse does generate results, in which case, is child abuse justified?

I disagree for both.

It is not the Chinese culture that caused child abuse. It is the uneducated people and poverty that caused that. Yes, there are a lot of in China, unfortunately.
The same thing can happen to any countries that has the similar condition.

[Aznsilvrboy]

I disagree. It is not hard to change at all. I am a Chinese parent. I don't see the need to push the kids to do something they don't want to do.



I disagree for both.

It is not the Chinese culture that caused child abuse. It is the uneducated people and poverty that caused that. Yes, there are a lot of in China, unfortunately.
The same thing can happen to any countries that has the similar condition.

You can change because you probably had western influences or education. You are not living under the "system". It's a different story when you're living under the system. Chinese people like to compare and be better than each other, so they constantly push their kids (child abuse) to reach for the top. When everybody else is comparing and when your teachers compare you with other classmates at school, you just end up being the same, because it's "normal". Most people are normal within their own society.

[yucksta]

Olympic gold medals are more rare than grandparents. They are old and they're going to die anyway. If this is what it took to win, it's not that terrible.

[divx]

You can change because you probably had western influences or education. You are not living under the "system". It's a different story when you're living under the system. Chinese people like to compare and be better than each other, so they constantly push their kids (child abuse) to reach for the top. When everybody else is comparing and when your teachers compare you with other classmates at school, you just end up being the same, because it's "normal". Most people are normal within their own society.

finally someone who gets it. it matters not what poedua and gman thinks regarding this issue, everyone try to be the norm of their society so that will definitely continue. It is only natural for gman to be less abusive than his parents because we are striving to conform to the norm of this society.

[mucat]

You can change because you probably had western influences or education. You are not living under the "system". It's a different story when you're living under the system. Chinese people like to compare and be better than each other, so they constantly push their kids (child abuse) to reach for the top. When everybody else is comparing and when your teachers compare you with other classmates at school, you just end up being the same, because it's "normal". Most people are normal within their own society.

Pushing the kids is not child abuse.

I think first, you need to define what is child abuse. Delay information about grandparent's death is NOT child abuse.

[blzn]

I don't get the big deal.. if she was close to her grand parents how the hell did she go a year without talking to them? Lol child abuse.

[laihama]

It's not really a Chinese thing anyway. I'm reminded of Russell Peters' line, "Someone's gonna get hurt real bad!". And I heard stories about corporal punishment among the older generation of Canadians. Some classic quotes are, "If you're going to cry, I'm going to give you a reason to cry" and "I don't care who started it, I'm going to end it." And when you see your dad taking out the belt, you know you're in deep sh*t.

Child abuse is raising a spoiled brat who does not respect elders. (You should never swear at your parents.)

"Time-outs" are stupid.