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Cover Letter Advice

  • Last Updated:
  • Jan 11th, 2019 1:42 pm
[OP]
Newbie
Jan 8, 2019
3 posts

Cover Letter Advice

Hi, I'm a co-op student looking for jobs this summer and this is the cover letter I've developed.
I would really appreciate if someone could point out any improvements or suggestions.
Do I need to change my wording to make it easier to read and flow better?
Any type of feedback is very much appreciated. It's not very clear to me what a good cover letter should read like.
Thanks for your help!
Last edited by beastfang on Jan 11th, 2019 5:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
4 replies
Deal Fanatic
Jan 27, 2006
9538 posts
3506 upvotes
Vancouver, BC
Question - is all of that stuff you mentioned also in your resume? If so, trim it down to what's important for the job posting (ie what's the employer looking for). Also, you want to express why you are applying to that position with that company - you want them to know that this isn't a generic covering letter that you send to everyone and just copy and pasted the company name into the letter.
Newbie
Jun 2, 2012
97 posts
70 upvotes
NORTH YORK
Agreed with poster above. It’s too dense in the middle and to be honest I would have barely skimmed if it was sent to me.

There are also some contradictions. You can’t develop entire projects if you only handle one aspect of a project.

The cover letter is also overly boastful. “From your very first week” and “take command”, “entire projects”. For a coop student, you make it seem like you are a seasoned pro. Unfortunately, the reality is you are not.

There are also several grammatical errors and unusual turns of phrase that make it seem like you were too liberal with a thesaurus.

You also make no connection to what the employer is looking for making this too generic.

If you paste the text, we can probably make better edits.
Jr. Member
Jun 18, 2018
109 posts
39 upvotes
- Way too wordy leading to a lot of confusion
- Too much 'fluff'' that has no meaning because everyone says it, ie. I manage my time efficiently

This reads like a story of your resume, which makes your resume redundant. Recruiters can see where you worked and what you did in your resume, but the CL should be how that experience will help you in the role you're applying for and the benefits to the company specifically. I know you mentioned you made it generic because of the time restriction, but to me it shows poor time management on your part. I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't get an interview, but you might be lucky because most companies don't read CL's or they have a resume screener done by technology.
Deal Fanatic
Jan 27, 2006
9538 posts
3506 upvotes
Vancouver, BC
beastfang wrote:
Jan 11th, 2019 11:21 am
Hi Electrah,

Here is my last year's cover letter:



It worked well for me to land interviews last year.
But what do you think of this one compared to my latest one?

Thank you very much for your help!
The question is not that it landed you interviews but did it land you all of the interviews you would have gotten if it was properly written? Don't confuse some success with a lot of success.

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