Deleted

[ameko]

Also, change the lock of your home.

[Rehan]

Lol my wife follows the Islamic ways to the T. But she gives me 100% of the money she works for.

that's well within her right, too. Here in North America where it often takes two salaries to meet the "needs" of a family, having the wife's income go to the family's expenses can be a good option. But if she chose to, she has the right to leave that burden to the husband.

Anyway, although the OP is an immigrant in Mississauga, we don't know if he's Muslim. So let's not go off on this tangent too much.

[MrBurns]

Religion aside, it seems to me that this relationship has ended.
I don't understand how you would ruin your kid's lives by divorcing? I guess you feel that they would lead a great love with parents who bicker and fight and demand money from eachother and run off when annoyed.

In two years you won't give a damn. Just take care of your kids and yourself, let her pay for her damn family.

[Deal-lon]

I would close that joint bank account faster than the speed of light. She can't be trusted with money.

Next time, have a secret account.

[fakishan]

The problem here might be that you've always managed the money and she doesn't know anything about money management.

Perhaps you already have, but you should try again to explain her your family budget in detail with all the bills and income stubs as evidence. Make it clear, buy a large sheet of paper and put it up against a wall and clearly draw the incoming money and exiting money for bills, and how much is left in savings.

If she still doubts you, then offer a compromise, tell her she can keep her entire salary, but will have to pay 50% of all the bills(mortgage, utilities, food, taxes, school supplies, gas, family trips, etc).

Tell her that is how an "equal" family works. I don't think she understands how much you both have to lose if your budgeting fails.

Remember, as a middle class earner, you lose everything in a divorce. It is not the solution for you. Some people will claim your marriage has lost its love but in my experience that's how most marriages operate after the first few years. Living constantly with someone makes one take the other for granted. She will be even more miserable than you if you two seperate.

The kids should be fine either way, this is Canada, many other kids have divorced parents and they'll be able to relate and understand.

[sheilab]

Unless she needs new outfits to impress the guy she has on the side.

The kids should be fine either way, this is Canada, many other kids have divorced parents and they'll be able to relate and understand.

No they do not have it fine - there is nothing like having a REAL family with two parents to love and take care of them.

[fakishan]

Unless she needs new outfits to impress the guy she has on the side.

No they do not have it fine - there is nothing like having a REAL family with two parents to love and take care of them.

Fly away troll.

[sheilab]

Fly away troll.

What is a "troll" and why am I one?
Sorry I am new here and don't understand the terminology.

[nyrz]

For the last few months, my wife started complaining that, I do not give her money and she demanded that I give her half of her salary ($900)and do not ask how she is spending.

I do not want to have a divorce because this can ruin my kids life but at the same time I think that if I accept her back, my love for her will not be the same as before

Why not contact her and apologize?

She feels like she has no freedom and you are controlling everything.

Why don't you ask her why she's unhappy?

And compromise.

[setell]

I have a question. Why does she have to ask for money to spend? Sorry OP but you seem to be um a the controlling type. If you ask me I wouldn't be able to live like that too. Maybe in your home country it's "ok" but women tend to be more independant in Canada and want more freedom, especially financially.

Like nyrz said, ask her why she feels she needs the $900/mth? She have to have a good reason to want to have personal money.

[Piccolo]

I have a question. Why does she have to ask for money to spend? Sorry OP but you seem to be um a the controlling type. If you ask me I wouldn't be able to live like that too. Maybe in your home country it's "ok" but women tend to be more independant in Canada and want more freedom, especially financially.

Like nyrz said, ask her why she feels she needs the $900/mth? She have to have a good reason to want to have personal money.

You read my mind.

Have more trust in your wife. Talk to her able the finances. Let her be a decision maker aswell. You have all the control and have given her nothing accept "my way or the highway". but I'm sure there is a lot your are not saying so who knows what really is happening.

[Piccolo]

My wife also started her job in my company and she makes 30K.

For the last 2 years all of our money was going to our joint account and I was paying all my bill including Mortagee. Our take home income was $5000 per month and after all the expeses I was saving $750 per month.

Total saving for the last 2 years was $18000 out of which I spent approx $8000 on the closing cost of our new home and for the rest $10000 I spent $3500 for my wife's/ kids jewelry, $1500 to support her parents in financial need, $1000 on a trip to Montreal with her family on her wish.

Remaining $3500 I invested in stocks as investment for my kids which are now grown to $4500

I did not spent anything on myself (well maybe less than $500 in two years on some hot deals on RFD), I dont drink, dont gamble, dont go to clubs for entertainment, no vacations, I only thought for my kids and how to save money for them so that they can have a better life in future.

You spend money on your wife and kids, but you dont allow your wife to spend money? You use her salary to pay the bills but you refer to it as your money and your bills? Sounds like your wife has a case... if what your saying is true. Man, reading over your blog makes me sick to my stomach thinking about a man having that much control over his wife and believing it is right and just.

[v_tofu]

I have to take the wife side as well dude. i mean, I get what you're trying to do, with paying the bills and what not, but you sound like a controlling person.

[setell]

You spend money on your wife and kids, but you dont allow your wife to spend money? You use her salary to pay the bills but you refer to it as your money and your bills? Sounds like your wife has a case... if what your saying is true. Man, reading over your blog makes me sick to my stomach thinking about a man having that much control over his wife and believing it is right and just.

+1 He used a lot of MY vs OUR (sorry for the caps, my stupid laptop is bilingual and trying to figure out how to turn off the french to get quotes.) in referring to their money. Honestly, this is why I am a fan of the three pot deal vs one pot.

[deltone]

+1 He used a lot of MY vs OUR (sorry for the caps, my stupid laptop is bilingual and trying to figure out how to turn off the french to get quotes.) in referring to their money. Honestly, this is why I am a fan of the three pot deal vs one pot.

Try this.........when you press the quote key, it won't appear but then type the next letter and it should show up. When you press the space key, that works too.