Parenting & Family

Dirty looks when taking my daughter to the public restrooms.

  • Last Updated:
  • Aug 18th, 2018 5:47 pm
[OP]
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Jun 24, 2015
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Woodbridge, ON

Dirty looks when taking my daughter to the public restrooms.

So as a Father of a young daughter, my daughter has to often go to the bathroom when out in public, weather it be at the mall, at Church, weddings, or at restaurants or at the ball park or where ever. Most of the time I am fine and find a Family friendly bathroom, and take my young daughter there. She is at an age where she is "too young" to go alone by her self and needs help with her potty training. As a parent I go in and make sure she uses the bathroom and ensure she is properly cleaned afterward. There have been cases where there is no family bathrooms available, and have no choice but to take her to the "mens" bathroom. I notice I get a lot of "dirty looks" by other patrons. its like they are thinking why doesn't just the mommy take her to the women's bathroom, well sometimes MOMMY is working and only Daddy can go out with the kids. People do not realize these things? one time someone even told me the "women's bathroom is on the other side" and I just ignored them. Does this happen often? I am just going to continue bringing my daughter to the mens room if she needs to go bathroom and no family bathroom is available. I also have a second issue is that some mens bathrooms do not feature a change table, for diapers I have another child who is a baby and needs diaper changes and discovered the hard way that the change table is sometimes only in the women's bathroom, well the mom aint here and I need to change diapers when I go out sometimes. I will save this rant for another time
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Newbie
Jun 23, 2016
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I hear you. It must not be very fun. Women deal with this too although it's probably less harsh, but women do lose their minds once a little boy is over like 5 if he's in the ladies room. Here's a bump. Not sure what the answer is.
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Aug 22, 2011
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You noticed the "dirty" looks?
Who gives a shit on what others think or how they look at you.
[OP]
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vkizzle wrote:
Aug 8th, 2018 3:19 pm
You noticed the "dirty" looks?
Who gives a shit on what others think or how they look at you.
I said I get them a lot, I never said I cared about it though, but it is important to discuss.
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Jun 26, 2011
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No one really bats any eye for children under 4, but at about 5-6 years old, they may be able to go by themselves while you wait outside? If for any reason you don't feel safe, then screw how everyone else looks at you, you're doing what's best for your daughter.
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Jan 15, 2013
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They feel uncomfortable with the situation as would I. Everyone is doing their business and a very young child of the opposite gender enters. When that happens, I simply leave the washroom until they leave. I understand so not a big deal for me.
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Mar 10, 2005
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Not much of an issue. How old is your daughter?
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Aug 17, 2008
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Continue ignoring them. I had the same issue with our son.

When he was old enough to go to the men's room, I would hover right outside the door - now those were dirty looks I would get!

As for places which don't have a changing table in the men's room, bring it up to management.
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Oct 1, 2004
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Under 3 it's fine, but after that age they should be able to go by themselves.
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Nov 13, 2013
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greg123 wrote:
Aug 8th, 2018 8:43 pm
Under 3 it's fine, but after that age they should be able to go by themselves.
Really you let a 4 year old go into the bathroom by themselves at a stadium or mall?

I am pretty hands off let my 6 year old walk the last few blocks to school and other "risky" things but 4 seems to young to be in a bathroom by yourself.

With modern times if you have a young girl dad can just use the women's bathroom right?
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GoodFellaz wrote:
Aug 8th, 2018 3:58 pm
I said I get them a lot, I never said I cared about it though, but it is important to discuss.
Don't even worry about it or give it a second thought.
We all have different parenting styles and preferences and I also wouldn't let me kid at that age go into the bathroom by themselves.
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Jun 11, 2006
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I brought my boys to the women's washroom until 5 or so? Around that age, they wanted to go themselves to the mens washroom and I would hover around the door. I never felt any disapproval, though maybe men feel a little more uncomfortable as there are urinals. I have seen older boys in the womens washoom (7-8?) and while I might be a little taken aback, it doesn't bother me. However, one time I was in a women's locker room at the pool in a condo (no change rooms, just open area), and someone walked in with their 5-6 yr old grandson. I was partially undressed (though not naked) and felt a little weird about that...and wondered if he was uncomfortable as well!
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GoodFellaz wrote:
Aug 8th, 2018 3:58 pm
I said I get them a lot, I never said I cared about it though, but it is important to discuss.
Not important to discuss at all, IMO. What you're experiencing is signs that you're a very involved dad, something a lot of other dads aren't. I take my son everywhere with me. I go to kids playgroups all the time with him. I have never minded one bit carrying him or pushing a stroller. That's the nature of being a parent. Yet at playgroups, I'm the only dad there 99% of the time. When pushing him in a stroller (when he was in a stroller) I would regularly get comments from women about how cute or nice it was to see a dad pushing a stroller.

If you're getting dirty looks, it's because you're a more involved dad than most, just like I am. I shouldn't be the only dad at kids events that I go, but that's the reality. Society has come a long way when it comes to parental roles, but when it comes to raising children, it's still dominated by women. Men haven't picked up their slack yet. You're one of the good ones obviously so who gives a shit what other people think. They wouldn't be giving you those dirty looks if they had to go through the same things, but clearly they didn't.
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Shaner wrote:
Aug 9th, 2018 11:15 am
Not important to discuss at all, IMO. What you're experiencing is signs that you're a very involved dad, something a lot of other dads aren't. I take my son everywhere with me. I go to kids playgroups all the time with him. I have never minded one bit carrying him or pushing a stroller. That's the nature of being a parent. Yet at playgroups, I'm the only dad there 99% of the time. When pushing him in a stroller (when he was in a stroller) I would regularly get comments from women about how cute or nice it was to see a dad pushing a stroller.

If you're getting dirty looks, it's because you're a more involved dad than most, just like I am. I shouldn't be the only dad at kids events that I go, but that's the reality. Society has come a long way when it comes to parental roles, but when it comes to raising children, it's still dominated by women. Men haven't picked up their slack yet. You're one of the good ones obviously so who gives a shit what other people think. They wouldn't be giving you those dirty looks if they had to go through the same things, but clearly they didn't.
Good points and nice comment, but where do you live that a dad with a stroller is unusual?

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