A few years ago Domino's ran a BOGO deal that also applied to walk in orders but it wasn't being advertised in the stores. I was able to pick up a free pizza almost every single day of the week for an entire month. I’d arrive at the restaurant and walk up to the cashier to lay the seeds/set the stage for the great pizza getaway. I’d always ask, “Hey, are you guys still doing the BOGO pizza deal?”, even though I already knew that the deal was ongoing. The cashier would typically reply “Yep, buy one and get the second pizza of equal or lesser value for free”. I’d say, “Great, I’m just waiting until my friend gets here until we order”.
I take a seat off to the side and wait for my mark to come prancing through the door doing the little pizza dance that everyone does when they’re about to stuff gooey cheese down their neck. I’d always wait for a single male to enter, at this point I quickly study his body language to determine if he was a walk in customer or if he had ordered ahead of time. It’s easy to tell when someone has already placed their order because they’re practically doing the Macarena by the time they get to the counter. If the guy isn’t in full on dance mode, but he's whistling or smiling for no apparent reason then I know I’ve got my mark. At this point I get up to intercept him just as he enters the line of sight of the cashier and I say, “wow, it’s cold out there tonight, eh? How’s the traffic?”. It’s pretty much game over at this point, unless of course this guy was already planning on ordering two pizzas. I walk a single stride behind him as he approaches the counter. I maintain the biggest smile on my face, a smile so big that you’d think I was about to eat pizza for just the second time in my life. The only thing I have to do now is maintain that huge smile on my face and keep nodding/bobbing my head for absolutely no reason , standing beside him but just outside of his field of vision. I contort my body and neck in a certain position, using a carefully crafted visual perspective so that it appears to the cashier that I’m practically resting my head on his shoulder. Once he finishes telling her what he wants on his pizza, all I have to say is “Ummmmm, I’m just gonna get a large pepperoni”.
There’s one final step after you relay your order to counter and it’s crucial, if you don’t time it properly you risk putting the whole operation in jeopardy, and believe me there’s nothing worse than getting busted trying to weasel a free pizza out of an honest guy. A few of my neighbours began asking my wife why they’d often me sprinting down the street with a pizza box clutched to my chest with pizza slices flying all over the street, running as if my life depended on it. I’ll admit I found myself in a few situations where my ruse started to unravel just as a scorching hot pizza was about to be put into my arms. If I had put a lot of effort into engineering that free pizza there was no way in hell I was letting my mark take it home only for it to end up getting squished at the bottom of his freezer.
I’ve been crafting a new ploy over the past several months with some of my closest associates. It’s a fairly sophisticated PAT (Pizza Acquisition Technique) and it involves using an additional person at the counter (probably my mom or my 6 year old daughter), but I’m fairly certain that this new technique will allow me to leave the restaurant with both of the pizzas, and on certain occasions I will also be driving his car back to my own house.