Parenting & Family

Early Birth / Travelling and couple of other questions for first time parents

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  • Apr 3rd, 2017 3:52 pm
[OP]
Newbie
Mar 21, 2015
7 posts
Markham, ON

Early Birth / Travelling and couple of other questions for first time parents

Hello,
My wife is expecting our first child in June 2nd week. I am curious about couple of things

- I have to travel for a week just a week before Dr said about expectancy date. I obviously don't want to miss out on this exciting moment, but this travel is work related and would cost a lot if I don't go. While I will return a week before the delivery date suggested by Dr, how accurate are they ? I have been told that kid can come out anytime after 36 weeks. When is the delivery date 100% confirmed ?
- Can my wife travel in car with me driving during last dates on long drives ( 4-5 hours ) ?
- What if we are in a different city at time of birth because it was early. I imagine every hospital will entertain us right ?
- What costs should I expect within 6 months of birth in terms of medical / hospital etc ? I am Canadian and have the OHIP
- I am self-employed with firm making over 150K/year. What's the best tax strategy to maximize on child benefits ? My wife doesn't work

Thanks in advance.
19 replies
Deal Addict
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Jun 8, 2008
3338 posts
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Toronto
When is the delivery date 100% confirmed ? - when the head emerges ;) No, seriously, unless you have a scheduled C-Section, there's really no 'confirmation'. Both my kids came a week before their due dates.

- Can my wife travel in car with me driving during last dates on long drives ( 4-5 hours ) ?
- she could but she'll probably be quite uncomfortable and you'll be stopping all the time so she can go to the bathroom - if she's got Braxton Hicks contractions, she won't want to be in a car
- What if we are in a different city at time of birth because it was early. I imagine every hospital will entertain us right ? assuming you're in Ontario, you should be fine. If your baby is born a 6 hour drive away then consider how you're going to get a post-partum mother home (who will not want to sit) and a baby that likely needs to be fed every hour or two. I don't recommend it.
- What costs should I expect within 6 months of birth in terms of medical / hospital etc ? I am Canadian and have the OHIP assuming she's in the same position, then you shouldn't expect any costs related to the birth
I am self-employed with firm making over 150K/year. What's the best tax strategy to maximize on child benefits ? My wife doesn't work - no idea

In general though, I think you need to start reevaluating what comes first, your family or your job. Sounds like you're putting your job first right now at the very time your wife probably needs to be closer to home. I'd strongly suggest you ensure that you're around home for that time around the due date (and if its impossible for you to be home, I'd make sure she's at home with a really strong support network around her).
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May 25, 2009
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adampostal416 wrote:
Feb 21st, 2017 9:16 am
Hello,
My wife is expecting our first child in June 2nd week. I am curious about couple of things

- I have to travel for a week just a week before Dr said about expectancy date. I obviously don't want to miss out on this exciting moment, but this travel is work related and would cost a lot if I don't go. While I will return a week before the delivery date suggested by Dr, how accurate are they ? I have been told that kid can come out anytime after 36 weeks. When is the delivery date 100% confirmed ?
As noted, it's never 100% confirmed. Even scheduled c-section, baby could still come out earlier, you never know. Anything can happen.

The "safe" line is 37 weeks, prior to 37 weeks they are considered premature. 40 weeks is considered full term, anything between 37 to 39 weeks is considered early. I also have friends and family who have given birth at 33 weeks, and those who went almost 42 so pretty much anything can happen.

FWIW, neither of my two kids made it to 40 weeks or their expected due dates, first was 37 weeks and 2 days and was almost premature, our second was 38.5 weeks.
"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)
Deal Addict
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Apr 8, 2007
1668 posts
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Mississauga
When is the delivery date 100% confirmed ?: As others have said, there's absolutely no way to know when your baby will come. My first one came at 36.5 weeks, second one came at 41 weeks. I wanted to be close to home 36 weeks onwards.
- Can my wife travel in car with me driving during last dates on long drives ( 4-5 hours ) ? - The last 5-6 weeks are tough. I found the angle sitting in the car very hard - lots of braxton hicks contractions and I felt like I was smushing her head all the time.
- What costs should I expect within 6 months of birth in terms of medical / hospital etc ? I am Canadian and have the OHIP If you don't have health insurance, will be staying in hospital, only a ward room is covered. If you want a semi private or private room, there will be additional charges. There are also charges for TV/internet in the hospital as well.
Newbie
Jan 13, 2017
18 posts
1 upvote
I am surprised that bringing your wife along for (unnecessary for her) travel is even a consideration, to me personally that sounds like a very selfish option.

There should only be 2 options: 1) Sacrifice work to make sure you are around, or 2) Potentially sacrifice being around for delivery.

To even consider bringing your wife around and potentially deliver at another hospital (who have 0 knowledge of your wife medical history) is not only selfish, but also unnecessarily put your baby and wife at risk.
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May 25, 2009
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Gibbscr wrote:
Feb 21st, 2017 3:57 pm
I am surprised that bringing your wife along for (unnecessary for her) travel is even a consideration, to me personally that sounds like a very selfish option.

There should only be 2 options: 1) Sacrifice work to make sure you are around, or 2) Potentially sacrifice being around for delivery.

To even consider bringing your wife around and potentially deliver at another hospital (who have 0 knowledge of your wife medical history) is not only selfish, but also unnecessarily put your baby and wife at risk.
I agree, either you sacrifice work or you sacrifice the opportunity/experience of being there during your child's birth. Under no circumstances do you prioritize your needs or wants above your wife's and your child's (which is what you're doing by bringing your wife along with you).
"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)
Deal Addict
Aug 19, 2013
2299 posts
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A due date is never a sure thing. It's just their best guess. My youngest came 2 weeks early. Baby comes whenever it wants to. Really when you are given a due date you should expect the baby anytime between 2 or 3 weeks before the date or up to 2 weeks after.

No you should not take your wife along with you on long car trips if she doesn't need to go, when she's at the end of her pregnancy. She could be very uncomfortable. not to mention you are taking her away from her doctors etc. Not a good idea when she could go into labour.

Honestly you need to decide what is more important being there for your wife and child or taking this trip.
Sr. Member
Sep 3, 2013
611 posts
103 upvotes
Toronto
I agree of those above. The only thing I'm going to add is to make sure you bring your car seat and hospital bag/s if you do need to travel with the missus. They would not discharge you unless you have a car seat.

I am currently almost 34 weeks and I am expecting the baby to come between now and in the next 7 weeks. Like my OB said, they don't have a magic ball to really say when the baby will come. Better be prepared than not... we went up to the cottage for family day weekend and brought our hospital bags and car seat. You just never know.
Deal Guru
Aug 22, 2011
12835 posts
2864 upvotes
Ottawa
adampostal416 wrote:
Feb 21st, 2017 9:16 am
Hello,
My wife is expecting our first child in June 2nd week. I am curious about couple of things

- I have to travel for a week just a week before Dr said about expectancy date. I obviously don't want to miss out on this exciting moment, but this travel is work related and would cost a lot if I don't go. While I will return a week before the delivery date suggested by Dr, how accurate are they ? I have been told that kid can come out anytime after 36 weeks. When is the delivery date 100% confirmed ?
- Can my wife travel in car with me driving during last dates on long drives ( 4-5 hours ) ?
- What if we are in a different city at time of birth because it was early. I imagine every hospital will entertain us right ?
- What costs should I expect within 6 months of birth in terms of medical / hospital etc ? I am Canadian and have the OHIP
- I am self-employed with firm making over 150K/year. What's the best tax strategy to maximize on child benefits ? My wife doesn't work

Thanks in advance.
Maximize your RRSP contributions to lower your income.
Based on your income, you're looking at less than $2000 CCTB.
Sr. Member
Jan 2, 2015
856 posts
285 upvotes
My answers are similar to the other answers.

- I have to travel for a week just a week before Dr said about expectancy date. I obviously don't want to miss out on this exciting moment, but this travel is work related and would cost a lot if I don't go. While I will return a week before the delivery date suggested by Dr, how accurate are they ? I have been told that kid can come out anytime after 36 weeks. When is the delivery date 100% confirmed ?

A. ANy time after 36 weeks is fair game. 100% confirmation is when your wife goes in to labour or if it's a scheduled c-section. My first was born 8 before due day, the second was born 9 days and was induced.

- Can my wife travel in car with me driving during last dates on long drives ( 4-5 hours ) ?
A. She can as long as the dr says so, but why would you do this. There is a high chance of being in labour, and she will be very uncomfortable. Also something to hbe ink about is you have know idea how long the labour will be. My first was born in less than 15 minutes from when I arrived at the hosipital. I almost didn't make it, even though at home I didn't really labour very long, maybe an hour before my car ride. The second they wanted more control, so broil me in a little early to induce me. They broke my water, instead of any drugs, and my second was born in just over an hour from the time my water broke. Three contractions, then full labour.

- What if we are in a different city at time of birth because it was early. I imagine every hospital will entertain us right ?
A. I think if you are in canada, you will be fine.

- What costs should I expect within 6 months of birth in terms of medical / hospital etc ?
A. If canada, you should be fine.

- I am self-employed with firm making over 150K/year. What's the best tax strategy to maximize on child benefits ? My wife doesn't work
You can set up your wife and child in your corporation. Talk to your accountant. .

My thoughts are, have your wife stay here, you go on your trip, and have a very good back up plan and support for her in case you can't make it in time. Make sure she is okay with it, or tell work you can't go.
On a 'smart' device that isn't always so smart. So please forgive the autocorrects and typos.
Deal Fanatic
Sep 21, 2004
7691 posts
427 upvotes
Highly recommend you take the next few months reading up on pre/post labour, what to expect, what to do, etc. Have you done a birthing course to understand how it all plays out?

Also recommend you reflect on how you're going to proceed with your work with a new member in the family. You can't proceed status quo. For both my kids I took the first month completely off work and it was rough. I know you're the sole breadwinner but you're going to have to seriously reconsider how you're going to manage work.
[OP]
Newbie
Mar 21, 2015
7 posts
Markham, ON
wirebound wrote:
Feb 21st, 2017 9:32 am
When is the delivery date 100% confirmed ? - when the head emerges ;) No, seriously, unless you have a scheduled C-Section, there's really no 'confirmation'. Both my kids came a week before their due dates.

- Can my wife travel in car with me driving during last dates on long drives ( 4-5 hours ) ?
- she could but she'll probably be quite uncomfortable and you'll be stopping all the time so she can go to the bathroom - if she's got Braxton Hicks contractions, she won't want to be in a car
- What if we are in a different city at time of birth because it was early. I imagine every hospital will entertain us right ? assuming you're in Ontario, you should be fine. If your baby is born a 6 hour drive away then consider how you're going to get a post-partum mother home (who will not want to sit) and a baby that likely needs to be fed every hour or two. I don't recommend it.
- What costs should I expect within 6 months of birth in terms of medical / hospital etc ? I am Canadian and have the OHIP assuming she's in the same position, then you shouldn't expect any costs related to the birth
I am self-employed with firm making over 150K/year. What's the best tax strategy to maximize on child benefits ? My wife doesn't work - no idea

In general though, I think you need to start reevaluating what comes first, your family or your job. Sounds like you're putting your job first right now at the very time your wife probably needs to be closer to home. I'd strongly suggest you ensure that you're around home for that time around the due date (and if its impossible for you to be home, I'd make sure she's at home with a really strong support network around her).
- Thanks for the help. I understand the challenges. My parents will be around and so is her family. I however want to experience this moment together. Unfortunately, this assignment came up for a week and I am left with no choice :(
Winkle wrote:
Feb 21st, 2017 11:41 am
As noted, it's never 100% confirmed. Even scheduled c-section, baby could still come out earlier, you never know. Anything can happen.

The "safe" line is 37 weeks, prior to 37 weeks they are considered premature. 40 weeks is considered full term, anything between 37 to 39 weeks is considered early. I also have friends and family who have given birth at 33 weeks, and those who went almost 42 so pretty much anything can happen.

FWIW, neither of my two kids made it to 40 weeks or their expected due dates, first was 37 weeks and 2 days and was almost premature, our second was 38.5 weeks.
- So basically I should always be standby. But how does a woman know it's the time and how much is the response time ? Hospitals usually have terrible wait times and I hope this is dealt on priority basis.
jandumm wrote:
Feb 21st, 2017 2:36 pm
When is the delivery date 100% confirmed ?: As others have said, there's absolutely no way to know when your baby will come. My first one came at 36.5 weeks, second one came at 41 weeks. I wanted to be close to home 36 weeks onwards.
- Can my wife travel in car with me driving during last dates on long drives ( 4-5 hours ) ? - The last 5-6 weeks are tough. I found the angle sitting in the car very hard - lots of braxton hicks contractions and I felt like I was smushing her head all the time.
- What costs should I expect within 6 months of birth in terms of medical / hospital etc ? I am Canadian and have the OHIP If you don't have health insurance, will be staying in hospital, only a ward room is covered. If you want a semi private or private room, there will be additional charges. There are also charges for TV/internet in the hospital as well.
- I have a luxury nice car and I am confident she will be comfortable in it, but I do get your point with regard to comfort. Also how do you know it's coming ? How much response time do you have
Gibbscr wrote:
Feb 21st, 2017 3:57 pm
I am surprised that bringing your wife along for (unnecessary for her) travel is even a consideration, to me personally that sounds like a very selfish option.

There should only be 2 options: 1) Sacrifice work to make sure you are around, or 2) Potentially sacrifice being around for delivery.

To even consider bringing your wife around and potentially deliver at another hospital (who have 0 knowledge of your wife medical history) is not only selfish, but also unnecessarily put your baby and wife at risk.
Winkle wrote:
Feb 21st, 2017 4:35 pm
I agree, either you sacrifice work or you sacrifice the opportunity/experience of being there during your child's birth. Under no circumstances do you prioritize your needs or wants above your wife's and your child's (which is what you're doing by bringing your wife along with you).

- I understand where you are coming from however, travel is so the family is around. I will have my parents and her family around as well. This is very important moment for me, and obviously family comes first.
Momof3cuties wrote:
Feb 21st, 2017 5:28 pm
A due date is never a sure thing. It's just their best guess. My youngest came 2 weeks early. Baby comes whenever it wants to. Really when you are given a due date you should expect the baby anytime between 2 or 3 weeks before the date or up to 2 weeks after.

No you should not take your wife along with you on long car trips if she doesn't need to go, when she's at the end of her pregnancy. She could be very uncomfortable. not to mention you are taking her away from her doctors etc. Not a good idea when she could go into labour.

Honestly you need to decide what is more important being there for your wife and child or taking this trip.
- Thanks for the opinion
Kayceern wrote:
Feb 21st, 2017 6:41 pm
I agree of those above. The only thing I'm going to add is to make sure you bring your car seat and hospital bag/s if you do need to travel with the missus. They would not discharge you unless you have a car seat.

I am currently almost 34 weeks and I am expecting the baby to come between now and in the next 7 weeks. Like my OB said, they don't have a magic ball to really say when the baby will come. Better be prepared than not... we went up to the cottage for family day weekend and brought our hospital bags and car seat. You just never know.
- Good luck . Hope it goes well for you.
vkizzle wrote:
Feb 22nd, 2017 11:52 am
Maximize your RRSP contributions to lower your income.
Based on your income, you're looking at less than $2000 CCTB.
- Income is on the rise and probably will touch 200k. I am looking to maximize it when I hit the max tax bracket.
Macx2mommy wrote:
Feb 22nd, 2017 12:09 pm
My answers are similar to the other answers.

- I have to travel for a week just a week before Dr said about expectancy date. I obviously don't want to miss out on this exciting moment, but this travel is work related and would cost a lot if I don't go. While I will return a week before the delivery date suggested by Dr, how accurate are they ? I have been told that kid can come out anytime after 36 weeks. When is the delivery date 100% confirmed ?

A. ANy time after 36 weeks is fair game. 100% confirmation is when your wife goes in to labour or if it's a scheduled c-section. My first was born 8 before due day, the second was born 9 days and was induced.

- Can my wife travel in car with me driving during last dates on long drives ( 4-5 hours ) ?
A. She can as long as the dr says so, but why would you do this. There is a high chance of being in labour, and she will be very uncomfortable. Also something to hbe ink about is you have know idea how long the labour will be. My first was born in less than 15 minutes from when I arrived at the hosipital. I almost didn't make it, even though at home I didn't really labour very long, maybe an hour before my car ride. The second they wanted more control, so broil me in a little early to induce me. They broke my water, instead of any drugs, and my second was born in just over an hour from the time my water broke. Three contractions, then full labour.

- What if we are in a different city at time of birth because it was early. I imagine every hospital will entertain us right ?
A. I think if you are in canada, you will be fine.

- What costs should I expect within 6 months of birth in terms of medical / hospital etc ?
A. If canada, you should be fine.

- I am self-employed with firm making over 150K/year. What's the best tax strategy to maximize on child benefits ? My wife doesn't work
You can set up your wife and child in your corporation. Talk to your accountant. .

My thoughts are, have your wife stay here, you go on your trip, and have a very good back up plan and support for her in case you can't make it in time. Make sure she is okay with it, or tell work you can't go.
- Thanks . My and her family will be with her.
Stock R wrote:
Feb 23rd, 2017 11:28 am
Highly recommend you take the next few months reading up on pre/post labour, what to expect, what to do, etc. Have you done a birthing course to understand how it all plays out?

Also recommend you reflect on how you're going to proceed with your work with a new member in the family. You can't proceed status quo. For both my kids I took the first month completely off work and it was rough. I know you're the sole breadwinner but you're going to have to seriously reconsider how you're going to manage work.
- Yes I am taking 2 months off. It's just one assignment that came in. Thanks for recommendation on the course. I will check them out.
Deal Addict
User avatar
Jun 8, 2008
3338 posts
840 upvotes
Toronto
With my first, I went into labour a week before my due date - my water broke at 3 AM, our midwife arrived at around 6, we went to the hospital around 7, my son was born before noon, we were all home by around 5 PM.
With my second, I went into labour a week before my due date, contractions started at 3 AM, inlaws came around 3:30 to pick up our oldest, midwives came around 4, my son was born shortly after 7 AM at home (it was a planned home birth)

There's often very little 'warning' other than you're feeling the weight of the baby, maybe have Braxton Hicks, and possibly are 'nesting' but honestly - I felt all those things a month before their births as well. My labours started pretty suddenly and thankfully, compared to a lot of labours, didn't last too long either.
Sr. Member
Nov 13, 2013
525 posts
168 upvotes
adampostal416 wrote:
Feb 21st, 2017 9:16 am
Hello,
My wife is expecting our first child in June 2nd week. I am curious about couple of things

- I have to travel for a week just a week before Dr said about expectancy date. I obviously don't want to miss out on this exciting moment, but this travel is work related and would cost a lot if I don't go. While I will return a week before the delivery date suggested by Dr, how accurate are they ? I have been told that kid can come out anytime after 36 weeks. When is the delivery date 100% confirmed ?
- Can my wife travel in car with me driving during last dates on long drives ( 4-5 hours ) ?
- What if we are in a different city at time of birth because it was early. I imagine every hospital will entertain us right ?
- What costs should I expect within 6 months of birth in terms of medical / hospital etc ? I am Canadian and have the OHIP
- I am self-employed with firm making over 150K/year. What's the best tax strategy to maximize on child benefits ? My wife doesn't work

Thanks in advance.
1. Depending on the nature of your business a good option is to retain earnings in the firm.
2. Have the company pay for a vehicle and any other expenses within the rules.
3. Pay your wife to do something for the company. Obviously don't lie, but it doesn't have to be essential tasks. For example she can answer the phone when you might never pay someone to do this otherwise. Instead of you paying 45% in taxes she will pay far less maybe approaching 0% when benefits are included. When your child is 2 you might want to send them to preschool and this will then be deductible from your wife's income lowering her bracket even more.
Sr. Member
Jan 27, 2015
813 posts
270 upvotes
Edmonton, AB
adampostal416 wrote:
Feb 21st, 2017 9:16 am
Hello,
My wife is expecting our first child in June 2nd week. I am curious about couple of things

- I have to travel for a week just a week before Dr said about expectancy date. I obviously don't want to miss out on this exciting moment, but this travel is work related and would cost a lot if I don't go. While I will return a week before the delivery date suggested by Dr, how accurate are they ? I have been told that kid can come out anytime after 36 weeks. When is the delivery date 100% confirmed ?
- Can my wife travel in car with me driving during last dates on long drives ( 4-5 hours ) ?
- What if we are in a different city at time of birth because it was early. I imagine every hospital will entertain us right ?
- What costs should I expect within 6 months of birth in terms of medical / hospital etc ? I am Canadian and have the OHIP
- I am self-employed with firm making over 150K/year. What's the best tax strategy to maximize on child benefits ? My wife doesn't work

Thanks in advance.
The whole labour process takes 24+ hours for the first child. How far is your travel destination? If the drive is 5 hours than I presume the flight would be ~2 hours or so. You could easily come back in time but don't take the risk and take your wife with you. Make her very comfortable. Which means comfort of the home, lots of rest, etc.
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