Personal Finance

Finances squeezed - baby

  • Last Updated:
  • Oct 16th, 2017 3:47 pm
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Deal Addict
Jul 18, 2016
1860 posts
680 upvotes
raichu1 wrote:
Oct 6th, 2017 11:31 pm
Concerning "Kids happen"

There are many outs from parenthood for women that one can take from contraceptives, morning after pill, abortion to adoption services to name some.

Kids just don't happens unless the woman wants them. If one refuse to use the tools available, not my problem.

Breaking a leg or getting cancer is unexpected while carrying a fetus to full term is not.
Good luck with that. Enter a long term loving, married relationship and then talk to me about abortion. Sorry, I don't care about money: I would NEVER pressure my wife to abort a pregnancy. This leaves quality, emotional women, rattled and struggling, for a lifetime! By the way, no birth control is perfect. Pregnancies happened, planned or not.
Deal Addict
Feb 9, 2009
4628 posts
2323 upvotes
Do you guys have parents that can help out (even just for day care?). At least you can go back to work full time
[OP]
Penalty Box
Mar 23, 2016
773 posts
209 upvotes
Sanyo wrote:
Oct 7th, 2017 4:45 pm
Do you guys have parents that can help out (even just for day care?). At least you can go back to work full time
Parents in AB - we can move back if things don't work out. Thanks for the suggestion.
"Obama is the quintessence of all that is wrong with America today.. people looking at the superficial which is skin color and ignoring idiotic behavior." - the poster AndySixx 😲 :facepalm:

*Faux transparency / censorship warning for RFD*
[OP]
Penalty Box
Mar 23, 2016
773 posts
209 upvotes
Thanks also to bewiseman, Jeff1970, Don, and funkynassau123
"Obama is the quintessence of all that is wrong with America today.. people looking at the superficial which is skin color and ignoring idiotic behavior." - the poster AndySixx 😲 :facepalm:

*Faux transparency / censorship warning for RFD*
Member
Apr 14, 2015
494 posts
111 upvotes
Tsuu T'Ina, AB
Don't listen to the critics. It's easy to say stupid stuff when you have no idea what you're talking about.

Babies don't have to cost much. You already have cloth diapers. Baby washcloths dipped in water make decent wipes you can wash with the diapers. Try to find hand-me-down clothes if you can. Parents who are done having kids usually love passing the clothes on to someone who can use them. If you have siblings, cousins or know people in a church or neighbourhood group who have older kids, ask around. Mention to people you meet at the park you're looking for cheap clothes and you might be surprised what leads you get.

Don't forget about your public library as a resource. We never bought books. You can check out board books for the baby, and movies or video games for your own entertainment. They often also offer classes for parents and babies, which is a great way to meet other parents and learn little rhymes and games your baby will enjoy. Sometimes they can help you find other resources in your area as well. It's all free.
Deal Addict
User avatar
Nov 17, 2004
1967 posts
327 upvotes
raichu1 wrote:
Oct 6th, 2017 11:31 pm
Concerning "Kids happen"

There are many outs from parenthood for women that one can take from contraceptives, morning after pill, abortion to adoption services to name some.

Kids just don't happens unless the woman wants them. If one refuse to use the tools available, not my problem.

Breaking a leg or getting cancer is unexpected while carrying a fetus to full term is not.
As an individual with a baby and already expecting another one, I agree whole heartedly. My wife and I have been together for 11 years now and waited until we were financially ready before having kids. No "oops" before then by being responsible.

With that said, now that you've had the kid, there isn't much that you can do. Apply for all the benefits possible through the government. If your income is as low as you're basically saying, you should easily get $500 a month for child benefits, as it's income based. In regards to baby clothes and other supplies, join the "mommy forums" on Facebook and also kijiji and you'll be able to find tons of clothes, toys, crib, strollers, etc. for very very cheap. Some people sell garbage bags full of old baby clothes for $100 and it'll be all your baby will need for the next year.

If money really is an issue though, I would agree with others that it's most likely best not to take a month off of work. Hopefully be the time your baby is one, you'll have a steady job and your wife can also go back to work. Depending on your income, you may also qualify for daycare subsidies.

Good luck.
Deal Addict
Oct 16, 2013
1830 posts
414 upvotes
Toronto
bewiseman wrote:
Oct 7th, 2017 4:30 pm
Good luck with that. Enter a long term loving, married relationship and then talk to me about abortion. Sorry, I don't care about money: I would NEVER pressure my wife to abort a pregnancy. This leaves quality, emotional women, rattled and struggling, for a lifetime! By the way, no birth control is perfect. Pregnancies happened, planned or not.
Never said that. Please reread what i wrote with an open mind. What I stated is that women in the modern western world have many tools beyond contraceptives to oped out of parenthood if they wish/ want to.
Deal Fanatic
Sep 21, 2004
7887 posts
566 upvotes
Having a child is a big life moment. Congrats!

The cost is what you make of it. I grew up in a low single income family with 2 kids. My parents made the best of what they could and I reaped the benefits of it. I am forever grateful for their choices and sacrifice. My parents made it work, so can you.

$ is just $. It comes and goes. Earn what you can. Spend only what you need. Be realistic about your needs and expectations. Sometimes sacrifices have to be made.

Mrs Stock has taken approx 3.5 years of unpaid leave so far to take care of our 2 kids. Based on our income, this has left us barely floating (and often we're sinking) but we do not regret a moment of it. Time with our kids is better than any fancy hotel or Michelin star restaurant. We live quite simply now but with no regrets.
Member
Apr 14, 2015
494 posts
111 upvotes
Tsuu T'Ina, AB
CensoredByRFD wrote:
Oct 7th, 2017 10:12 pm
As an individual with a baby and already expecting another one, I agree whole heartedly. My wife and I have been together for 11 years now and waited until we were financially ready before having kids. No "oops" before then by being responsible.
Responsible people can have an "oops" too. I know people that have gotten pregnant on almost every form of birth control. Even one person who got pregnant (twins!) after a tubal.

Nobody knows why OP had a baby and it's none of their business anyway. Maybe he just really values family over money. Who cares? Most people feel squeezed on their finances sometimes but when they want some advice, blame is never helpful.
Sr. Member
Jan 2, 2015
980 posts
366 upvotes
springdays wrote:
Oct 4th, 2017 4:32 pm
We just had a healthy baby boy, but I'm starting to get really stressed about finances. I was just working casually and have asked for a month off. We are trying to economize what to spend but it's quite hard. We're even using cloth diapers but I don't know how much longer I can keep that up.
Anyone know how much extra babies actually cost? :P
Babies can cost a lot or they can cost very little. When I had my second child, my spouse got laid off three weeks later with 3 days severance, my company was going through restructuring so I left my self vulnerable if I returned. We were living on roughly 17% our regular salarly. AND We decided to keep our nanny full time and ur oldest needed to finish her year in private school. We had savings, but didn't have to dip into very much. It was the best thing that happened to us because for the first ever we had to really evaluated EVERY cent we spent.

First, what is your income and expenditures? This will really help.

Here are my tips without knowing much about your situation, I can give more advice of you post more details.

-Look at every expense. We got rid of our house phones, cable and switched to VOIP. We had to keep Internet because we are In Technology field However, we found different and cheaper service provider.
-Call your insurance companies and see if you can negotiate better rates
-Only buy on sale, check ads and coupons. I was spending probably 15-20 hours a week (because we weren't working) looking for coupons and deals on line, then planning my grocery trips. I cut the it grocery bill at the time by 60% even with the new baby.
-Everything is made from scratch, no wastage. For example I was saving vegetable peelings and cutting meat off the bone before serving it and freezing it to make soups stock. I learned to break bread.
-Diapers we bought on sale, but I early diaper trained both my kids, primary because I hate diapers. By 12 months, they were down to one diaper in the day one at night.
-Made my own wipes. You can see that in a post in the parenting section.
-Kept the lights offs, heat low, and saved wherever I could.
-We tracked every cent for months. Obviously when both of us returned to work, we have loosened up, but I learned so much in that one mat leave that it has served me well in the times where my spouse wasn't working. I was quite surprised at how much less we could live off if we needed to.

In terms of how much babies cost, it will depend on child care, that has been our biggest expense. Breastfeed, make your wipes, use cloth diaper. Baby clothes you can get cheap or usually free. EVERYONE I know has a bag of clothes that are too cute throw out but will give to someone for good use. When they start solids, make your own baby food, and freeze it. Do free activities and meet other parents, having a dependable support system will help.

Really the costs are low with kids if you choose.
It's food, which you can make more healthy and cheaper by scratch,
Clothing Which you can get free or used. Dont over buy
Some saftey items like a crib, car seat, stroller. Everything else is pretty much optional.
Activities , keep them free

Childcare , I don't have the answer for this.
On a 'smart' device that isn't always so smart. So please forgive the autocorrects and typos. If it brothers you, then don't read my posts, but don't waste my time correcting me. If you can get past the typos, then my posts generally have some value.
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User avatar
Dec 13, 2016
1045 posts
793 upvotes
unknownone wrote:
Oct 4th, 2017 6:21 pm
I know you're not looking for a lecture, and it's politically incorrect to say stuff like this, but it sounds to me like maybe you shouldn't have had a kid that you can't really afford.

If I want a dog, I make sure I can afford the costs of dog ownership.

If I want a car, I make sure I can afford the costs of car ownership.

If I want a fancy car, I darn well make sure I can afford the costs of fancy car ownership.

But if someone wants a kid, they have the kid, and then think about the costs later after realizing it's expensive?

You probably need to go back to work. Otherwise, you probably need to cut all your other discretionary spending to the bone, because basically you made the choice to have a kid and that takes a lot of money. As I say to almost everyone, because it applies to almost everyone, you could probably save a lot of money by not going to restaurants, and not buying coffees at Tim Hortons/Starbucks. I say this, because it applies to almost everyone, and I see people making minimum wage spending huge percentages of their income on this kind of stuff. So if you're like most people, you can probably save hundreds of dollars per month by never going to restaurants, never buying overpriced coffee, and instead making the stuff yourself. I'm proud to say that I've only gone out to a restaurant only twice in 2017, and instead buy better quality food that I make at home, for far less money.

Personally, I made the choice to not have kids, a big reason for that is because they are so expensive and I'd rather put my money to other things. To me, the enjoyment per dollar equation works out badly, considering how expensive kids are.
Extremely shameful post that got so many upvotes. I wonder why? I also don't have kids because I'm a cheap coward like yourself. However, I would never give a lecture to someone who decided to bring children to this world even if they don't have means to do so. These people deserve a medal for sacrificing their lives for the next 18 years at least.

News flash! We need people and we need parents who will make sure their kids will become good people. Money has nothing to do with it. Like most kids in Thailand, my wife grew up with very little and now has a good job in the international company and a lot of money. This is Thailand, not Canada where kids survive and grow up just fine on $300 a month combined salary. So did I when growing up in Serbia. The OP lives in a first world country. He will survive.

What a bunch of carp.....really.
Deal Addict
Jan 2, 2015
1127 posts
263 upvotes
Toronto, ON
To the OP, if you or your spouse gave birth in a hospital, you probably automatically applied for child tax as part of the child registration procedure. They pay based on your 2016 income. You will probably get direct deposit, but you could get it by cheque is you really wanted to.

Modern culture has gone out of its way to make childcare expensive, and I don't just mean daycare/babysitting. It just seems like parents are supposed to be terrified for their children every minute.

Modern communication technology (TV, and the Internet) make it seem like children are perpetually unsafe. People are told they need a much larger vehicle (for safety), a big stroller (ditto, though I've yet to see a stroller that could prevent a car accident), a baby monitor, hidden cameras if you get a babysitter, an iPhone for when the child is learning to speak (because not having one is unsafe!), you must drive your child to and from school every day so you must arrange your work schedule for this (or give up work) because it's not safe to let a child walk to school or use transit that's filled with witnesses, etc.

Some of the costs are unavoidable. If you drive you have to use a carseat, and you might not want to get the cheapest one possible... but I see no problem getting a used carseat. It's not like a child is going to use one for all that long. You might want to get flat plastic plugs (I'm not sure what they're called) for "clogging" unused power outlets, but I think these are cheap, and the child is too young to crawl now, so you can probably order some from China with free shipping on Ebay by the time the child can crawl on the floor.
bewiseman wrote:
Oct 7th, 2017 4:30 pm
I would NEVER pressure my wife to abort a pregnancy.
I think that's the right attitude. IMO, a couple thinking of marriage should talk about abortion ahead of time. I saw a marriage fall apart because one was pro-life and one was pro-choice, and they didn't talk about it before an unexpected pregnancy. I'm not even picking a side, I just think it's common sense to talk about it. I presume the OP and spouse are against it, at least when considering their own family.

The even better answer is to use birth control. No method is 100% effective, but I think a lot of people aren't even trying to use it when they should be. Maybe the OP used birth control properly; anyone can have unexpected luck.
CNeufeld wrote:
Oct 4th, 2017 6:42 pm
Not all kids are planned. And the return policies suck.
Japan and Germany have a great policy on this. Other countries should "adopt"* this. (They literally have a baby box to give up a child anonymously. Both have very low birth rates, and Germany has a lot of Catholics too.)

*Pun intended.
[OP]
Penalty Box
Mar 23, 2016
773 posts
209 upvotes
Thanks Operatime (& for the Congrats :)), FoFai2015, Stock R, Macx2mommy and BiegeToyota - it's people and posts like yours that keeps me interested in this community and thankful to be part of human life :smile: I incidentally agree that we can do this, and we love our child and interested in his wellbeing above all, as well as being a responsible, kind person.

Macx2mommy
I won't post my income and expenses at this point because I am not interested in lectures by some but what you posted, I take on board.
Re: insurance: - are you saying that companies will negotiate mid-way through a year? I worked through a broker once but the rates keep just going up. Any tips on how to diaper train a baby, and at what age?

FoFai2015
You're right about modern child rearing, I will have to sift through all the "stuff" and work on instinct too - loving and caring is the most important, I believe.

Thanks again everyone - I will call the CRA about the child tax benefit as I didn't see anything come through.
"Obama is the quintessence of all that is wrong with America today.. people looking at the superficial which is skin color and ignoring idiotic behavior." - the poster AndySixx 😲 :facepalm:

*Faux transparency / censorship warning for RFD*
Deal Addict
User avatar
Nov 17, 2004
1967 posts
327 upvotes
Operatime wrote:
Oct 8th, 2017 12:40 am
Responsible people can have an "oops" too. I know people that have gotten pregnant on almost every form of birth control. Even one person who got pregnant (twins!) after a tubal.

Nobody knows why OP had a baby and it's none of their business anyway. Maybe he just really values family over money. Who cares? Most people feel squeezed on their finances sometimes but when they want some advice, blame is never helpful.
There are always options even after there is an oops- Canada allows that choice (as every where should, but that’s another discussion). The choice made affects your quality of life as well as the quality of life of your child.

With that said, I agree- the baby’s already out, so it’s time for OP to look forward. Unfortunately he didn’t plan as well as he could, but luckily Canada (generally speaking) has enough supports available that they’ll do okay. Things won’t be great for awhile most likely, but they’ll get by.
Deal Addict
Oct 16, 2013
1830 posts
414 upvotes
Toronto
bewiseman wrote:
Oct 9th, 2017 6:31 pm
You listed abortion, and I am making an observation about the the OP. I don't think this is a single women who made an irresponsible choice. I think she's in a long term relationship and is finding herself rather surprised by all the extra expenses. It certainly caught me by surprise. In hindsight, there are many many many ways I could have saved money. However, that is HINDSIGHT. When you're in the middle of it, your reality is often quite different.

And I am telling you that if you're in a loving, married relationship, you have less options than you might think. When you're single, the option to abort is a much easier choice to make. When you're married, the impact can be devastating not only to the individuals involved, but also to the marriage.
Seems that we are having different conversations here while you are saying things that I did not say. I never said that her partner should force here to abort or give up.

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