Parenting & Family

First time expecting parents - what to prepare?

  • Last Updated:
  • Sep 28th, 2017 5:01 pm
Deal Guru
Dec 31, 2005
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t3359 wrote:
Jan 22nd, 2017 1:21 pm
A lot of good advice. Looking back, I would suggest:
- get some help in the first few days - they are the most exhausting, especially with feeding every hour
- see a lactation consultant - we saw one three times before we figured everything out
- start sleep training early, like at 4mos
- NEVER start co-sleeping - it'll be a habit that will be difficult for the baby to break

bjl
Not true at all!

We used the Arms Reach co-sleeper for all three of our kids. The whole point of the co sleeping is that you are right there to provide contact for the baby/infant. This means less likely to reach hysterics, you can feed without having to make a production of it. I do believe that both you and the kid get better sleep.
Newbie
Oct 17, 2013
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Ontario
Another co-sleeping, well rested family here. Mom, dad, babies got plenty of sleep. We stressed way too much with our first about not co-sleeping, after a few weeks we decided it worked for us, researched on how to do it safely and didn't look back. The boys easily transitioned to their own beds when it was time. Each family needs to do what works for them and not judge others for doing things differently.
Sr. Member
Mar 24, 2015
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Ottawa, ON
Co-slept here too with both kids. First boy moved to his own bedroom at around 2 yrs old, second one when he turned 1. Both sleep through the night now, except when they have nightmares. I found it easier to breastfeed and being half-asleep helped me fall back to sleep quickly. Before co-sleeping, going back and forth at night for several times meant I was awake too long and it took me a while to fall back asleep and when I did, baby was up again! If you decide to co-sleep just be careful not to place baby next to dad because he can roll over. My husband slept in another bedroom when I was co-sleeping. His snoring would wake us up!
Deal Addict
Aug 19, 2013
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I've had babies with an OB and my last was with a midwife. I loved the experience of having a midwife. I got much more personal attention, they even came to my home a couple days after birth to check on me and the baby. You can have the baby in the hospital with a midwife. They are well trained to notice any potential issues. If they think you are high risk they transfer you to an OB. Also anything happens during birth they will transfer care to an OB. You can even decide to have an epidural etc (then an OB will step in to assist). And yes it's covered by Ohip.

But midwives fill up quickly so it may already be too late.
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Apr 8, 2007
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Gibbscr wrote:
Jan 25th, 2017 1:52 pm
Where do we go about getting one? We were told by the fam doctor that midwife would be something we need to look for ourselves?
Are they covered by OHIP? Would we still be delivering in hospital? What happen if there are some medical emergencies during delivery?

Do you go around interviewing a few "candidates" before deciding which midwife to go with?
Can we decide to switch from midwife to OB or the other way around, if we started with OB and decided to go with midwife?



Likewise above, is this something covered by OHIP? Where do we find one?
To find a midwife, go to http://www.ontariomidwives.ca/care/ - as others mentioned, there can be a huge waitlist depending on your city. Toronto is better than other areas - e.g. Peel Region only has 18 midwives for the whole area!

A doula is not covered by OHIP - costs range - we paid $1100 for ours. I found one through my midwife, but there's the doula registry at dona.org..and if you're in Milton, you can check out thewomb.ca -
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May 25, 2009
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Everyone is going to tell you what to do, what you shouldn't do, what worked and didn't work for them and their kids and therefore you should and shouldn't do the same etc.

Here's the thing, do what works for you. If someone tells you what to do, or offers a suggestion, take it under advisement. Give it a shot, try it out, if it works, great, if it doesn't, drop it and don't bother and move on.

Babies, kids, are all different. There's no one universal rule, or thing, or method that works 100% of the time for every baby. Heck, we just had our second recently, and we've found that everything we did that worked for our first, has been thrown out the window because number two has literally been the polar opposite.

When we had our first, we were bombarded from all sides and told what to do and not to do, and given strict rules to abide by. And for the first few weeks, we did our best to follow these rules and guidelines, and all we got out of it were headaches, no sleep or rest, depression, all the bad crap out the wazoo. The best decision my wife and I made, was that we were going to eff it, and do whatever worked. As long as it wasn't blatantly dangerous or anything, we didn't care... and it was fantastic and our lives turned around.

For example, our first, wouldn't sleep in their crib... they're just cry through the night no matter what we did... but we were told by everyone that the baby can only sleep in the crib and nowhere else, especially not the car seat! Well guess what, after a week of no sleep, we discovered that the baby hated the crib but slept perfectly soundly for hours on end in their car seat... eventually we just said eff it, and parked the car seat next to our bed and night and let her sleep in it and all was well again, and our kid slept in the car seat for like two months then we put them back in the crib and viola, no problems.

So do whatever works for you and your kid and anyone who insists on doing something their way you can tell them to shut up and go away.
"God's in His heaven. All's right with the world." - Robert Browning (1812-1889)
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Dec 26, 2005
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nalababe wrote:
Jan 25th, 2017 5:00 pm
Not true at all!

We used the Arms Reach co-sleeper for all three of our kids. The whole point of the co sleeping is that you are right there to provide contact for the baby/infant. This means less likely to reach hysterics, you can feed without having to make a production of it. I do believe that both you and the kid get better sleep.
earthygoat wrote:
Jan 25th, 2017 9:05 pm
Another co-sleeping, well rested family here. Mom, dad, babies got plenty of sleep. We stressed way too much with our first about not co-sleeping, after a few weeks we decided it worked for us, researched on how to do it safely and didn't look back. The boys easily transitioned to their own beds when it was time. Each family needs to do what works for them and not judge others for doing things differently.
Yeah, I was hesitant to write that last line. But I agree, whatever works.

bjl
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Sr. Member
Mar 24, 2015
576 posts
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Ottawa, ON
t3359 wrote:
Jan 26th, 2017 4:28 pm
Yeah, I was hesitant to write that last line. But I agree, whatever works.

bjl
My cousin co-slept and her daughter was in their bed till age 6! I don't think I would have co-slept with my second son if the first stayed that long in our bed ahha
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Nov 17, 2003
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Buy a stroller that has an adapter available that is compatible with the baby bucket seat you are intending to buy. Way easier to just remove the kid out of the car in the seat and snap on to the stroller
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Jun 24, 2006
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rinse wrote:
Jan 26th, 2017 11:00 pm
Buy a stroller that has an adapter available that is compatible with the baby bucket seat you are intending to buy. Way easier to just remove the kid out of the car in the seat and snap on to the stroller
This. For sure.

The sleeping stuff. Will be different for each family, child and HOUSE. Don't forget the layout of the house can influence how families sleep as well. Do whatever works but get some sleep when you can.
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Mar 15, 2004
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Does anyone know where to find a lactation consultant? How much do they cost? Is there a website like the one for finding a midwife?
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Apr 4, 2012
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Toronto
awestruck wrote:
May 30th, 2017 10:38 pm
Does anyone know where to find a lactation consultant? How much do they cost? Is there a website like the one for finding a midwife?
Try this http://ontariobreastfeeds.ca/services,
We went to a local hospital at first, consulted with a nurse (free), and then the International Breastfeeding Centre with a referral from the midwife and met with a lactation consultant and Dr. Newman ($65 plus tax).
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Nov 25, 2016
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awestruck wrote:
May 30th, 2017 10:38 pm
Does anyone know where to find a lactation consultant? How much do they cost? Is there a website like the one for finding a midwife?
Some hospitals have a lactation consultant on staff with whom you can book in person appointments (cost - free). You can call the maternity ward to see if they have one (or if they have a breastfeeding clinic).

If you attend a breastfeeding class (which I highly recommend, if you plan on breastfeeding), the person teaching the class may be a LC, in which case, grab their card before leaving! Also, if you attend a breastfeeding class, you likely won't need to see a LC until after you have your baby - but you'll want to have the contact information readily available.
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Oct 1, 2004
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jandumm wrote:
Jan 25th, 2017 9:51 am
Just had our 2nd baby 6 weeks ago - lots of lessons learned from 1st to 2nd. Lots of good tips here already..here are some additional thoughts:

1. Tell your wife to pick up a pack of Depends - yes the super absorbent undies. My water broke first in both pregnancies - and contrary to TV, you don't go to the hospital right away. Both times, I didn't go to the hospital until contractions were 5 minutes apart - which was 18-24 HOURS later. I wore Depends and was able to have a semi-normal day without leaving amniotic fluid everywhere. I also wore them the first few days after labour - where there's also lots of fluids - much more comfortable than the skateboard pads they'll give at the hospital.

2. +1111111 to having a lactation consultant lined up - get them in as soon as you can after birth to help you with breastfeeding. If you can, ask the nurses to help you latch the baby right after birth (during that initial skin-to-skin), that will also help with milk production.

3. Use Olive Oil for the first few diapers changes - the tar like poop is impossible to remove - olive oil helps. You can also use it to massage into their skin with all the skin peeling that happens.

4. +11111111 for the midwife. Had an OB/GYN for Birth #1 - midwife for Birth #2. Huge difference. Key benefits for me included:
- they come to your house for post-natal care for the first 10 days! It was -15 the week I had my baby, and I didn't have to leave my house for the first two weeks. Also reduces exposure to germs and no annoying doctors office waits.
- continuity of care - I saw the same midwife team for the duration of my pregnancy and had them at my labour
- continuity during labour - no waiting for OB/GYN to progress with your birth. During my 1st labour, I moved very quickly but the nurses didn't realize it - and I couldn't begin pushing until the OB checked me. However he was busy with another birth. That unnecessarily prolonged my labour for over an hour and that last hour was horrible. 2nd labour - midwives stayed with me and recognized all the signs when I was ready to push - there was no delay and no excessive suffering.

5. Hire a Doula - they proides support before/after and during labour. During pregnancy, she was available 24 hours for any questions i had. During labour, she knew pressure points and breathing techniques etc. to help reduce my discomfort. After labour, she did post natal visits and provided support. For my 2nd labour, I thought we didn't need one - but my husband LOVED having one - it made his job easier as you have someone who's done this before.
you had a doula and midwife at the same time?
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Apr 8, 2007
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greg123 wrote:
Jun 23rd, 2017 9:04 pm
you had a doula and midwife at the same time?
Yep I did. Would definitely do it again.

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