Parenting & Family

going to try and start a family in a few months, what advice can you give me?

  • Last Updated:
  • Mar 29th, 2018 11:42 pm
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Jul 5, 2004
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You can research the hell out of everything, but the second you bring that baby home from the hospital, you are going to feel lost and helpless. It's natural. A lot of what you need to know, you won't learn until the time comes. Parenting truly is a learning experience and a lot of it needs to happen as you go.

Vitamins are good and so is a proper diet and exercise, but there's not much else to prepare for. Yeah, get a baby room ready if you don't have one that will do, but the baby should be sleeping in your room for the first couple months anyway, so there's no big rush to do that. Besides, not everyone creates a true nursery, many people just use a spare bedroom.

An RESP can't be setup until after the baby is born.

We didn't go to prenatal classes. We both thought they were a waste of time. We did get a midwife, which I highly, highly recommend. OHIP covers it so you don't have to pay. You do need to book one early though as there's not enough.
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You don’t need to buy everything right away. Depending on when your baby is born, you can hold off on a few things. Both our kids were born later on in the year and in hindsight, we didn’t need to get a stroller immediately. Since it was cold, the only place we went was to the doctor’s appointment and the car seat was sufficient.

We knew what stroller we wanted and could’ve just waited until Boxing Day for a deal.

Same could be said about the crib, I think they recommend the baby sleep in the same room as you for the first 6 months. We had a bassinet which worked well for 4-6 months.

Start doing your research now on what things cost so you know when you see a deal. Amazon prime for diapers, if you’re a member, you get 20% diapers if you use their subscribe and save. Plus they delivery, nothing is worse than have to lug boxes of diapers from Walmart when you’re dead tired.

Good luck and enjoy!
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Gee wrote:
Feb 2nd, 2018 4:20 am
Don’t think abut it too much , it will put stress on the relationship.

Just do it, unless you have medical issues, it will happen. Once she’s pregnant, then start preparations. Prenatal classes etc.

The fun is in trying to conceive, don’t make it a chore.
+100 This.

The only prep we did was she took prenatal pills.

Just enjoy the ride. (no pun intended).
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Other than stop using condoms, I'd say go hard, go deep and dont pressurize yourself. Sometimes it happens immediately, sometimes it takes a few months.
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May 23, 2017
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amitdi wrote:
Feb 2nd, 2018 2:53 pm
Other than stop using condoms, I'd say go hard, go deep and dont pressurize yourself. Sometimes it happens immediately, sometimes it takes a few months.
your avatar made that comment even funnier lol
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Oct 15, 2008
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Have fun along the way. While you are loving the thought of having children, your life is about to change.....a lot. Enjoy the process.

Take any trips or get out any selfish stuff now - it soon won't be about you and your S/O at all. If you know you have a large financial expenditure coming (new house, etc.), you need to keep in mind what 3 or 4 of you will need, not just the 2 of you. Between kid 1 and 2, we had to get a van; the car wasn't working. Between kid 2 and 3 we moved because the house wasn't going to cut it longer term. Remember that everyone that has had kids knows everything - just ask them. Strike that, they'll tell you anyways. Politely take all of the advice and do what feels right to you and your S/O. Take prenatal classes with VON or whomever and be present when you take them (put the phone away - there is lots of great information but lots of people are there to check the box that they went and then have no idea what to do when things happen). Talk to your S/O about the big things - Birth plan or no? Doula/midwife or doctor/hospital? Will your S/O stay home with the kid? Will you? Will you juggle 2 careers? Who will take sick days off with the kid? Are you anti-vaxxers (and if so, our kids won't play together :)? Are you going to provide everything for your kids in terms of stuff or experiences? Got your will done?

Taking care of the big issues (or at least starting those discussions) will help you lay down a foundation of understanding that you won't have time for later. 4 in the morning arguing about whose turn it is for the feeding is not (contrary to my original plan) a great time to have a discussion about whether our kids were going to a public or Catholic grade school.

Enjoy your you two time and be selfish about it. You won't regret it later.
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Oct 18, 2005
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Finding an OB (Obstetrician) and Pediatricians could take a long time as well. Might want to start looking once she is pregnant.
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Read the story "The Man, the Boy, and the Donkey". :-)

When it comes to parenting it can't be any more true than that.
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ctc027 wrote:
Feb 2nd, 2018 5:02 pm
Finding an OB (Obstetrician) and Pediatricians could take a long time as well. Might want to start looking once she is pregnant.
And consider that you have options for care as well - Some family doctors have obstetrical practices. Midwives are an option in many parts of the country (and covered by provincial health plans). Again, family doctors can also provide care for infants and babies.
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sherman51 wrote:
Feb 2nd, 2018 1:24 pm
If you have the money and the time, go on a nice couple trip. Future trips will be more family oriented so if you are into trips that a kid won't enjoy and you've always wanted to do, now may be the time or you'll have to wait until 1 or both or your kids are teens.
Unless your idea of a nice couple trip is either to Hedonism or partying in Vegas until 3am, you can take your kids pretty much anywhere. You just have to set realistic expectations. For example, when we went to Paris, we only spent an hour or so in the Louvre...not 3. We took a side trip to Disney (we enjoyed it far more than Orlando MK). Another example: when we went snorkelling on the GBR we had to take a larger boat (quicksilver) vs the smaller companies and we only had 1/2 the time each. We've been around the world with our first and then first two kids...Now with the third it is just so very expensive.
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Jan 3, 2018
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You need to plan for space because children's items require a lot of space.

Anything you've wanted to do before (like a trip or starting a new business), do it now. A friend of mine said they put their lives on hold for 4 years per child. I can't verify this because mine are under 4 but I can say that life has been on hold so far.

riseagainstthemachine wrote:
Feb 1st, 2018 3:34 pm
So my wife and I have decided that in a few months it would be a good time to start a family. All jokes aside (don't do it ect) can you please share any advice or things that we should know before being blessed with a family of our own?

We are going to the doctor to get a preconception checkup and have carrier screening done on both of us. What else do we need to know? I know there are thousands of things and it will be hard to tackle all of the issues, but just throw some at me!

Thanks guys!
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LivHorton wrote:
Feb 7th, 2018 11:31 am
You need to plan for space because children's items require a lot of space.

Anything you've wanted to do before (like a trip or starting a new business), do it now. A friend of mine said they put their lives on hold for 4 years per child. I can't verify this because mine are under 4 but I can say that life has been on hold so far.
Or just realize that travelling with kids is just different. We planned to travel with our kids, and spent a month overlapping parental leave while renting a lovely apartment on an island off of Cancun :) Kids have travelled often, hasn't stopped us (my 12 year old has been to 6 continents). As nalababe also pointed out, travelling with kids is just different and expectations may need to be adjusted.
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Get as much rest as you can now, you going to need it. Be prepare to loose most of your social life! Oh, did I already say it, get as much rest as you can now. I love my kids infinitely but they really drain my energy.

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