Careers

Have a lot of doubts about my future

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Sr. Member
Jul 8, 2006
631 posts
35 upvotes
+1 on this

I recently caught up with one of my really old friends who became an artist\graphic designer. I had a look at his portfolio and it looked really impressive, he even gets some decent contracts for logo and flyer design, but he still barely makes ends meet. Art is unlikely to meet the OP's criteria of making a lot of money while doing something he loves. I am glad my parents steered me away from the arts and social sciences.
ironbrah wrote: Unless you are van gogh, you would be at bloor station drawing people for a can of soup.

Stop buying into this fallacy that do what makes you happy... its more like do what you have to survive.

So suck it up. Finish ur degree get a good paying job.
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Feb 11, 2012
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CONCORD
FirstGear wrote: I'm 21 and I've spent just about 2 years in the workforce full-time now, went to university for 3 1/2. I was an early grad with clear goals, now I drive trucks, run different machines, and stare at gauges. Soon I will then be cutting and pulling cables too. I make triple now vs. what I would make starting out in my field in study, but my work schedule can be horrendous, sometimes I don't see home for months, and work numbs my head. Nowadays I go to bed every night with the dream of one day sitting on hundreds of thousands or more of dividend-paying assets while sipping a nice beer on a beach somewhere. Some nights I still dream about fighting for my 'dream' job.

Career 'advisors' and personality tests would describe me destined to be an engineer or something in computing. Over the years I was told countless times I was seen to be an engineer. I've always been socially awkward and held a stubborn and impatient attitude, but had the ambitions of the world, a working attitude, and far above-average analytical skills. I went to school for a math and economics degree. So it was always discouraging to see myself do something unrelated, but I was grateful for having work that paid well.

It's difficult to gauge exactly what you'll end up doing because you don't always get what you want in life. Soon you will realize that work is well, work. It feeds yourself and/or your family and allows you to do the things in life you love.

Most people seek a balance between doing something they can stand and making the amount of money they like. This is a balance you may find yourself searching for for years, and what's sufficient is going to be different for everyone. There was a news article a while ago about a couple living in Vancouver (most expensive region in Canada) on 30k income and very happy. Conversely I worked with plenty of miserable people making $200k+. For myself, I love money, but regardless of how much you paid me I would never be a surgeon or dentist.

Regardless, first of all you have to believe you CAN achieve something. You have the power, yes, to make a change in your life. Rid of the doubts you have, and then evaluate what logical options you have.

When I was younger, I was much more pessimistic. I believed that I was incapable of competing against the academic elites, some destined to become lawyers, doctors, investment bankers, analysts, etc. I believed I was an ugly and weak person, and gave up the gym. I thought cool cars were only meant for those 'lucky' enough to have. I thought pretty women were only meant for those 'born' good looking and charismatic enough to have them. I used to bicker with my head down all the time, and would say that __ and __ were only meant for smart and lucky people.

However through my experiences, I eventually learned that the above were not always true. I remember just begging to pass after my first round of exams in my 1st year of university studies, then after 1st year was up my average was 88%. To better my grades, I studied around 60 hours a week outside my classes. I went to bed every night telling myself I can become one of the best students, and that If the person beside me was smarter, then I must work harder than him/her. If buddy got 85%, then I must obtain 90. If he/she studied 4 hours a day after class, I must do 5+. Academically I was only above average; nowhere as near a prodigy. Following stereotypes, if a seasoned Asian student put as much heart and time into it as I did, he/she would run circles around me. It was my attitude and harder work that earned me higher academic merits at the time, not being 'smarter'.

Eventually I got myself a 83k MSRP car (though I bought used and paid nowhere as much, even if I could afford a new), was squatting 320lb while weighing only about 160, made around $10,000 after taxes a month on a good one, and give it a month or two and a new girl would come into my life at some point.

I told myself: i was always looking at cars, and if someone else was able to earn the one I wanted, then why couldn't I have one too?

I usually went to work at 7am, then got off at around 7pm. Then went to the gym after, and got home around 8:30-9pm. On one project, on night shift, I woke up everyday at 2:30pm. Trained to 4pm everyday, and then showered and ate. Got dressed, and off to work at 5:30pm. Came back to my room at 7am to eat, and then went to bed at 8:30-9am. I used phone apps to record my workouts and daily diets.

However, much of my strength and muscle gains were as a result of my heart, not what 'secret' workout or diet I used. Every night before I went to bed, I thirsted for my next workout, knowing it would make me stronger and feel better. I wanted to look and be the best. I didn't care how tired Or in pain I was; I needed to be bigger, stronger, and feel better than the person next to me. If this guy can squat 180lb, then I made it my next goal to lift heavier than 180. If I saw someone with a good physique, I told myself that if he could look like that, then I can too. I would kick myself everytime I did miss a workout, thinking that was another workout away from my dream.

Throughout my ventures I had many frustrations, such as having to deal with someone I hated, or wondered why all the other Asian kids got handouts from their parents while I had to freeze myself in sub -40C cold staring at gauges and playing with levers and still have less money. I would take out such angers in the gym, using them as my strength.

As for the dating comment, whenever I saw a guy with a good looking girl, I always told myself that I was better than this guy. I was much more capable. This guy may had a pretty face, but I had much more heart, and was smarter than him. I believed that eventually I would look better than him. conclusively: "if this guy, not as good as me or is only better in the present, then why can't I have something like her too?"

Finding work was discouraging too. I was angry all the time at why this or that lazy idiot can make $100k+ while I felt I had to constantly look for work and work twice as hard to get a similar income. Some of them seem to always find the gravy paying jobs too because of who they knew. But such greviences only made me stronger, as I felt I had even greater of a reason to climb the social ladder higher than these people. And a funny side effect was that when we got laid off, these people were used to having it easy and couldn't fend for themselves in the hard times, as they did not go through some of the hardships I endured and developed from.

My first full-time job I made only $11.75/hour. I was very bitter, at why seemingly some lucky lazy kid with no direction in life but who knew someone got more than me and a better job to boot. Overtime I realized that if there was one person that could change such a fate, it was myself. A year and half after, I was making $38, plus 1.5x overtime every shift after certain number of hours. I did not know anyone to find that line of work- I kept my eyes open at the machines and trucks that I drove by on the highway to find the companies. When I saw one that I felt I could work for, I wrote down the name and googled their contact information, and either went in person to the office or gave them a call.

Now my EI payments alone could pay for an entire year of university with room and board. Theoretically I could have had that, my Class 1A, a blue book, and a Bachelor's degree and 2 years of oilfield & construction experience at age 22. You would describe me as very smart, but no- I am not very smart. I just wanted some things more than the next person.

Sitting at home telling yourself you can't is useless- don't say that you can't do something, but rather, ask HOW you can do it. Then don't sit around waiting for the option you deem the best, and go for it.
Who cares? Do you want a noble prize? Your life is not the life of others so if you're so proud of yourself, go open a self-help book and not flood the forum with your self-congratulatory crap
Get educated on how the world needs to work with the Venus Project
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Nov 2, 2013
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anyasok wrote: Who cares? Do you want a noble prize? Your life is not the life of others so if you're so proud of yourself, go open a self-help book and not flood the forum with your self-congratulatory crap
No one told you to read it.
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Jul 7, 2013
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Digital Gulag
Just keep doubting, before long...you'll be ready to retire with a dozen of degrees and a ton of debt.

Some people just need to be pushed to their limits sometimes. Learn what its like to make a living. School of course isnt easy but in my opinion, it is like a shelter away from the real world when you got your parents providing you shelter, food, clothes and transportation.
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Jan 27, 2004
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xblackrainbow wrote: Just keep doubting, before long...you'll be ready to retire with a dozen of degrees and a ton of debt.

Some people just need to be pushed to their limits sometimes. Learn what its like to make a living. School of course isnt easy but in my opinion, it is like a shelter away from the real world when you got your parents providing you shelter, food, clothes and transportation.
Thats when things get hard... I think sometimes you just have to be content with what you can achieve, try your best, and keep on chipping away towards achievement. Its always a series of steps that get you there... You either get an education and try to build a career, or be really successful at a business or trade.

OP might feel better finishing schooling that he's currently in. You might just be feeling some setbacks because its difficult right now. But its currently a really good chance for you to find some sort of career. Once you start making some good money you might feel better about yourself... Because you achieved something! But your first step can be finishing school. Thats an achievement! And go on from there...

You're smart enough to get into university... You're smart enough to get to this point... I'm sure you can be smart enough to take advantages of good opportunities.
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UrbanPoet wrote: Thats when things get hard... I think sometimes you just have to be content with what you can achieve, try your best, and keep on chipping away towards achievement. Its always a series of steps that get you there... You either get an education and try to build a career, or be really successful at a business or trade.

OP might feel better finishing schooling that he's currently in. You might just be feeling some setbacks because its difficult right now. But its currently a really good chance for you to find some sort of career. Once you start making some good money you might feel better about yourself... Because you achieved something! But your first step can be finishing school. Thats an achievement! And go on from there...

You're smart enough to get into university... You're smart enough to get to this point... I'm sure you can be smart enough to take advantages of good opportunities.
I agree with most of what you said but what I am implying is that going to school is much like learning how to ride your bike with the training wheels on. You're never really going to learn how to actually ride a bike without falling down a couple times and getting hurt. This is how working towards making a good living in the real world is like. I just think OP should stop bickering about finding his true passion and his dreams at the age of 29. Maybe he'll find his passion and dreams once he goes into the work field and sees a career path that he is interested in and believes he is capable of working towards that. It is clear that the amount of time he spent in school hasnt sparked and real passion and I doubt it ever will.

There are smart people in university, no doubt about that. But there are a ton of dumb people too. Universities nowadays accepts everyone. Going to University doesnt mean you are "smart enough to take advantages of good opportunities". Believe me, I know a ton of university grads that are doing min wage jobs at the mcD's / retail. With that said, it is true that some university degrees can open doors to amazing opportunities, but this doesn't seem to be the case for OP.

@UrbanPoet, I know it sounds like what I said is opposite from your point of view but I believe we both agree on one thing and its that OP should become more motivated and proactive in improving himself instead of finding alternative solutions (ie...another unrelated school program) and excuses.
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Mar 29, 2012
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xblackrainbow wrote: I agree with most of what you said but what I am implying is that going to school is much like learning how to ride your bike with the training wheels on. You're never really going to learn how to actually ride a bike without falling down a couple times and getting hurt. This is how working towards making a good living in the real world is like. I just think OP should stop bickering about finding his true passion and his dreams at the age of 29. Maybe he'll find his passion and dreams once he goes into the work field and sees a career path that he is interested in and believes he is capable of working towards that. It is clear that the amount of time he spent in school hasnt sparked and real passion and I doubt it ever will.

There are smart people in university, no doubt about that. But there are a ton of dumb people too. Universities nowadays accepts everyone. Going to University doesnt mean you are "smart enough to take advantages of good opportunities". Believe me, I know a ton of university grads that are doing min wage jobs at the mcD's / retail. With that said, it is true that some university degrees can open doors to amazing opportunities, but this doesn't seem to be the case for OP.

@UrbanPoet, I know it sounds like what I said is opposite from your point of view but I believe we both agree on one thing and its that OP should become more motivated and proactive in improving himself instead of finding alternative solutions (ie...another unrelated school program) and excuses.
he needs to stay in school. he can learn how terrible the world is afterwards.

i learned the hard way and i still don't know what to do with my life. i've worked my *ss off through 12 different companies in many different positions since i was 15. i became the top worker in a lot of companies and gained a lot of leadership positions, and i even got offered to be a store supervisor at RCSS. however these jobs all only offered less than $20/hr. its incredibly hard to get over $20 without any schooling. and if I went through school at least I would have direction. hell, I don't even know how college or university works.

i'm making $50-60k/yr right now without any education but this job i'm working at is driving me mentally insane with the stress. i want to quit now, but i would have to go to school because i doubt i could ever find a $50k-60k/yr job again.
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Jan 27, 2004
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xblackrainbow wrote: I agree with most of what you said but what I am implying is that going to school is much like learning how to ride your bike with the training wheels on. You're never really going to learn how to actually ride a bike without falling down a couple times and getting hurt. This is how working towards making a good living in the real world is like. I just think OP should stop bickering about finding his true passion and his dreams at the age of 29. Maybe he'll find his passion and dreams once he goes into the work field and sees a career path that he is interested in and believes he is capable of working towards that. It is clear that the amount of time he spent in school hasnt sparked and real passion and I doubt it ever will.

There are smart people in university, no doubt about that. But there are a ton of dumb people too. Universities nowadays accepts everyone. Going to University doesnt mean you are "smart enough to take advantages of good opportunities". Believe me, I know a ton of university grads that are doing min wage jobs at the mcD's / retail. With that said, it is true that some university degrees can open doors to amazing opportunities, but this doesn't seem to be the case for OP.

@UrbanPoet, I know it sounds like what I said is opposite from your point of view but I believe we both agree on one thing and its that OP should become more motivated and proactive in improving himself instead of finding alternative solutions (ie...another unrelated school program) and excuses.
I don't doubt ya man! I was just trying to put it nicely... Suck it up, finish school, get a job, earn some money, find a gf and buy some fun toys. Enjoy life! Theres more to life then just school and trying to figure out what to do... Sometimes you just gotta do something, so you can enjoy other things. Theres more out there like family, friends, hobbies, and finding that special someone <3 =) ... But it'll be hard to do that if you're in and out of university programs till your mid 30s... Unless you bust a Van_Wilder. lol!

I'm sure the OP will do well if he applies himself. The only difference is that he needs to be content with the best possible options for him. In his cases... Its finishing his current program.
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Dec 28, 2005
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Well it looks like the decision has been made for me by the school. I received a pdf letter from the school saying I'm required to withdraw from the program because I failed one component. There is an academic appeals process but I'm not sure if I should go ahead with appealing the decision. This totally blows, especially since I've worked my ass off for years to get into the program and then even harder for nearly 2 years while in the program. Not sure what to do now.
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wolf30 wrote: Well it looks like the decision has been made for me by the school. I received a pdf letter from the school saying I'm required to withdraw from the program because I failed one component. There is an academic appeals process but I'm not sure if I should go ahead with appealing the decision. This totally blows, especially since I've worked my ass off for years to get into the program and then even harder for nearly 2 years while in the program. Not sure what to do now.
Appeal it and if it doesn't work out, life goes on- move onto something else. It sucks, I know.

I went to UBC and they had a similar system, where you required to make a certain cutoff in GPA for certain programs, and you couldn't re-take courses to raise your grades unless you've failed them. And, if you were in a certain program and didn't have a certain minimum average that year to advance to the next year, you were SOL also.

e.g. Top 250 applicants for Economics major, and not permitted to apply until you were finishing up Year 2. 80%+ required score in Mathematical Proof course to take a long list of upper-year math courses.

For the former, what would happen is even if you spent those 2 years preparing for ECON, if you were not the top 250 they'd tell you to pick something else. It was ironic as in my time I was admitted to BCOMM but not ECON.

UBC Law was somewhat similar- they account for your entire undergrad grades bearing your worst 12 credits (30 credits was an academic year). So in Arts you had all these students busting their nuts trying to get the best GPA, just for the sake of being able to study law there one day- but if they scored too low on too many courses there was no way to improve them. Then they would grad with an Arts degree they couldn't do anything they wanted with.

Though remember that though we can talk all day about majors, in the end all this just becomes one line under the "Credentials" section of your resume. You can still minor in some studies if they don't let you major. On your resume it'd still say that you studied x subject. Some employers will only care that you have university experience also and are more concerned that you can well, do your job and make them money. I met a credit underwriter once local to me who was a 4th year like myself but never graduated.

There are also a lot of graduate-level programs that care less about what you studied in your undergrad, as long as you had specific pre-req courses, and some just care you had an undergrad. My cousin was a CMA and she had a UBC BA to begin with.

e.g. CFA, CA, CFP.

Lastly, once you live in the real world and are trying to find ways to feed yourself and get ahead, your attitude towards career will change, especially the notion of "dream job". For a lot of people, it's feeding their families that they love and seeing their smiles while doing something that they don't dread.
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Oct 13, 2013
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You need to finish school and find a job. I think you're chasing a feeling that doesn't exist. People are not designed to be happy, the grass is always greener on the other side. Work is work, you're supposed to clock in, do your work, innovate, buddy buddy with people, clock out, go home and enjoy your family and hobbies.
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wolf30 wrote: Well it looks like the decision has been made for me by the school. I received a pdf letter from the school saying I'm required to withdraw from the program because I failed one component. There is an academic appeals process but I'm not sure if I should go ahead with appealing the decision. This totally blows, especially since I've worked my ass off for years to get into the program and then even harder for nearly 2 years while in the program. Not sure what to do now.
Appeal it. Don't walk away now without giving it one last fight. You have worked so long and so hard and like FirstGear said, if they then don't let you back in, move on.
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Jan 20, 2010
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Brampton
jacobe wrote: Appeal it. Don't walk away now without giving it one last fight. You have worked so long and so hard and like FirstGear said, if they then don't let you back in, move on.

^^This right here ^^

Don't be so petrified as to not move on in your life either.

Thanks for letting us know the outcome of your exam. All the best.
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Thanks for the support guys. I've been trying to figure out whether or not I want to appeal the decision since receiving the bad news yesterday. I think I'm going to make a decision on monday. This is the link I was given by the graduate coordinator in the email http://www.sgs.utoronto.ca/calendar/Pag ... olicy.aspx. Do you guys think I should correspond with her? I can't tell if this women is on my side or is deceiving me. She was very quick to try and get me to take a leave of absence last year and this year as well.
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Aug 4, 2013
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I would agree that you should appeal the decision considering that you are very close to earning the PT degree. It is not uncommon for trainees in the health care field to have doubts about their career choice/future. However, I think that once you have your degree you will have a lot more flexibility in terms of the setting you want to practice in (e.g. hospital vs. outpatient clinic). If you still dislike the field after being in practice as a PT for a while then you could consider alternative career options =)

It sounds like a tough time for you now OP but I hope you can persevere through and give yourself/this field another chance =) Considering how far you've gone I believe you have what it takes to make it through!
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Dec 28, 2014
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Mississauga, ON
You need to appeal. You have to show fight. No one can battle for you in this world but yourself.
Sr. Member
Jan 17, 2006
594 posts
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Definitely appeal. You may be suffering from depression so make sure you get documentation.

I'm kind of surprised at how strict U of T is (or the PT department). They kick you out after 1 failed test?? :|
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rocheapplied wrote: Definitely appeal. You may be suffering from depression so make sure you get documentation.

I'm kind of surprised at how strict U of T is (or the PT department). They kick you out after 1 failed test?? :|
Ya I never would have expected that. I emailed my prof last night about my grade on my written final exam, guess what I passed it. So overall I passed the unit except for failing that one practical exam due to not being confident enough wtf. I'm definitely going to appeal this. I ran into another classmate on friday at the gym. He is also getting kicked out because the internship coordinator screwed him over. He passed his placement but they put down they had concerns, and so he goes to bitch to the coordinator about how *****ty the place was, and the coordinator ended up failing him even though his supervisor at the placement passed him. This is the first time I have ever had to appeal something, does anyone have any experience with appeals?
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Dec 9, 2007
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wolf30 wrote: Ya I never would have expected that. I emailed my prof last night about my grade on my written final exam, guess what I passed it. So overall I passed the unit except for failing that one practical exam due to not being confident enough wtf. I'm definitely going to appeal this. I ran into another classmate on friday at the gym. He is also getting kicked out because the internship coordinator screwed him over. He passed his placement but they put down they had concerns, and so he goes to bitch to the coordinator about how *****ty the place was, and the coordinator ended up failing him even though his supervisor at the placement passed him. This is the first time I have ever had to appeal something, does anyone have any experience with appeals?
If you want your appeal to be successful I would show a bit more humility and a concrete plan of what your deficits were and how you plan to succeed in the program if you are given another chance. You also already knew that passing the practical test is non negotiable for passing the unit, particularly as your national practical exam to be licensed as a PT will be much harder than any of your school practicals.

It's also a very small world out there and for all you know someone involved in the decisions may read this forum.

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