Parenting & Family

Having children when older.

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  • Oct 26th, 2017 10:02 pm
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Jr. Member
Oct 20, 2016
166 posts
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had kids at 38 and 45.
life's good, i'm happy, the children are happy, go with the flow
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Jul 12, 2003
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Buster34 wrote:
Aug 22nd, 2017 1:37 pm
had kids at 38 and 45.
life's good, i'm happy, the children are happy, go with the flow
38 and 45, is that when your wife pregnant?
Conceive naturally?
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May 12, 2004
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We had our only child when i was 39 (wife 37) through IVF. Other than having a little less patience I see no inconvenience. Whoever blamed lack of stamina needs to get their ass in the gym.

The later in life the better off you are financially and emotionally with your spouse so that's a big advantage. We can bring our baby everywhere to see the world which we wouldn't have been able to do in our 20's or early 30's for that matter. We're able to put her in the better daycares etc...

We also have much more time to spend with our daughter. We're both in positions where we can take tons of time off work if we want, me being a business owner I would never have had that liberty 10 years ago when I was hustling 60-70 hours/week to become successful. Having the ability to call the shots work-wise is something many people don't have when starting their career.
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Jan 22, 2003
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MP3_SKY wrote:
Aug 22nd, 2017 2:25 pm
38 and 45, is that when your wife pregnant?
Conceive naturally?
My wife had our first kid at 39, natural conception.

When I opened this thread I was also thinking 40s. The OP is young! We might have another, will see...there's definitely pros/cons to each side. Delaying it was good for us because more time to party and be financially well off that we wouldn't stress, but obviously there's more health risks after 35.
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Newbie
Oct 17, 2013
84 posts
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Ontario
While I agree that there is a definite possibility for women to have a harder time getting pregnant in their late 30's and early 40's, that kind of thinking has gotten a lot of women unexpectedly pregnant when they thought they were done having children. There are many women who are still perfectly fertile in their early 40's. Use protection if you don't want a surprise Smiling Face With Open Mouth
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Dec 20, 2004
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Toronto
Um... what? You realize the average age of marriage in Canada is like 31. Having children at that age is certainly not "older"
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Mar 31, 2008
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springdays wrote:
Aug 22nd, 2017 1:27 pm
Yes - being responsible for loving a child and putting their needs before yours, being patient and loving. No small feat.
For sure. And harder when you have your kid younger and in a way, might have resentment that you yourself never got a chance to 'enjoy' that part of your youth and therefore are constantly trying to make it up at the expense of your kids.
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Dec 21, 2011
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You are not old. Go ahead and have kids, no regrets.
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Jan 11, 2008
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I don't think early 30s is considered at all late to have kids right now. I completely agree that waiting until you are ready is the best thing to do.

In regards to fertility problems, they are much more common than people realize with 1 in 6 having some problems conceiving. Some but definitely not all fertility problems are related to age and aren't always immediately noticed. One drawback to waiting can mean that by the time you realize there is a problem and start the referral process to a fertility clinic and start testing, etc. age related difficulties in addition to whatever the initial problem was can start to come into play as the process isn't always quick. Many problems won't require expensive and invasive treatment such as IVF but finding out what the problem is can sometimes take time and depending on when you started trying, age related issues can sometimes start to be a factor as well

Having said that, it is just something to keep in mind as most people won't have problems conceiving but some will. In my case we had success after many years of trying and multiple fertility treatments and finally a few IVF cycles.
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Deal Guru
Aug 2, 2001
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I guess I am one of the few that think you are having them "older". Based on the ages of people at our child's daycare, we are definitely on the older side (we had our first at your ages). There's nothing wrong with that, but based on my location I am one of the "older" ones. Perhaps it is based on where I live, but in my city it seems that more people start having kids under 30 than otherwise. We have some people that we know who seemingly waited until they were older than us and ended up having challenges conceiving.

There are pros and cons to having children in your 30's. Pros: you should be better set financially, you should have a solid relationship. Cons: more physically challenging for you and your partner (which gets worse as you age), more entrenched habits you have to break.


At the end of the day, it's a choice that you and your partner have to make and be comfortable with. If you truly want children then have children. But don't have children because you feel you have to or you think it will lead to a fulfilling life. Be happy with your life without children because having them doesn't magically fix problems / issues you have.
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Dec 19, 2001
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Fernando Po
Thirties is fine, don't wait till your in your late forties however as you increase the chances of Down's Syndrome (women over 40) and autism (men and women over 45 or so they believe). Learned that the hard way.
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Jul 27, 2017
489 posts
138 upvotes
GTA
Loved every second of being older parents, we were married at 20, first born we were 31, second child when we were 39. Never a dull moment, zero issues which I'm guessing comes from having children later

At age 70 we don't have any grandkids
Deal Guru
Dec 31, 2005
13198 posts
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We had our kids:

Kid 1: 31 and 29
Kid 2: 36 and 35
Kid 3: 41 and 40

Happy to answer questions...I'll write more later.
Sr. Member
Sep 20, 2008
919 posts
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Toronto
The only difficulty I see is if you have you children later in life, you may not get that much needed extra help from grandma and grandpa (depending on age). Not the case for all of course. But then again, if you're in your 40's, have a steady income, it's not hard to hire a FT nanny either.
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