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  • Jan 10th, 2019 4:46 pm
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[OP]
Member
Jun 23, 2006
316 posts
98 upvotes

Heckling

My kid was heckled by a couple of kids of similar age (6-8) when she was playing a interactive video game at a science museum. The hecklers were next in line and loudly said stuff to the tune of ‘wow, she sucks’, ‘do you even know how to play?’, ‘step aside if you suck so bad, it’s my turn’, etc.
Firstly I was surprised by the rudeness and my instinct was to ignore it. Upon seeing how my kid was affected by these comments, I felt compelled to step in and counsel her but felt really ill-equipped. I gave the kids a death-glare but didn’t find their parents around. Put on the spot, I told my kid to focus on playing the game and block out their hurtful words. Of course I want to instill the values of grit and resilience in my kids, and not be over protective. I was never on a sports team as a kid so I missed out of this aspect of life experience. So far, I haven’t had to dealt with this kind of stuff on my kid’s sports teams so it wasn’t even on my radar as a thing to learn in parenting. I seek your wisdom in how to deal with crappy moments like these. Thanks in advance.
4 replies
Deal Addict
May 12, 2014
1498 posts
941 upvotes
Montreal
stoppy wrote:
Jan 10th, 2019 4:37 am
Upon seeing how my kid was affected by these comments, I felt compelled to step in and counsel her but felt really ill-equipped. I gave the kids a death-glare but didn’t find their parents around.
How was your kid affected? What was her reaction to your words? What was the other kids' reaction to your death glare?

If the other parents were around, I'd always look to them first.

Otherwise, you might try talking to *your* kid in a loud voice and say "Oh my, some people are SO RUDE! You should just ignore them."

I would *not* directly interact with the other kids.
Deal Addict
Jan 2, 2015
1397 posts
657 upvotes
Things like this are pretty nuanced from each situation and will vary. If it looked like my kid was impacted negatively or was getting upset, and there were no parents, I would have looked at the kids firmly with obviously glare. If that didn’t work, then I would have said something like ‘enough, those rude comments are not necessary or appropriate. You will get your turn when it’s your turn, there’s no need for such rudeness’.

I find at that age, kids are still somewhat intimidated by adults they don’t know.

In this case, because your child is playing the gam, she can’t really engage with the other kids to deal with it, so I think it’s okay to step in.
On a 'smart' device that isn't always so smart. So please forgive the autocorrects and typos. If it brothers you, then don't read my posts, but don't waste my time correcting me. If you can get past the typos, then my posts generally have some value.
Deal Expert
Aug 22, 2011
24495 posts
10831 upvotes
Ottawa
If it were my kid, I would have encouraged her by saying "honey you are doing a great job"..."keep it up" don't mind the rude boys behind you.
I would talk as loud as needed to drown out the negative comments, to let her know she is doing nothing wrong.
Jr. Member
Oct 15, 2008
146 posts
55 upvotes
Windsor
I guess I'm the outlier. I first would reinforce that my child was doing well, then I'd turn and ask them to hold their comments until my child was done otherwise this would take longer. Depending, I'd also mention that they likely weren't experts the first time they tried things and that they wouldn't like this behaviour from others (most kids don't appreciate being labelled the bully, they've heard all about it in school, but someone needs to call out the behaviour for them to recognize it - they are 6-8 YO). Lastly, if needed I'd ask them to point out/take me to their parents so that I could talk to them about their children's behaviour. I'm much more a proponent of "it takes a village" - as a parent, if my child were doing these things, I'd rather be told about it than be oblivious. I think my child would rather see me stand up for them instead of exclusively being their cheerleader - it does 2 things for them: 1) they know that I'm willing to stand up for them anytime, anywhere in an appropriate manner using words to solve the issue, not talk over it 2) they hopefully learn that they can do the exact same thing in a respectful manner should I not be there. For those that indicated they'd talk over those commenting, I would be concerned about what that teaches your child about those in the future that will heckle them and the reliance of your child on you to "block" the inappropriate comments.

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