Health & Wellness

Help with my sister, delusions, paranoia

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  • Mar 14th, 2018 4:22 pm
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[OP]
Newbie
Mar 9, 2018
2 posts
Guelph/Milton

Help with my sister, delusions, paranoia

Hello I am Jen. I am new here and not sure where to post this. Hoping someone can help.

My sister is in her 30s and has been living on her own for a few years now. Single no partner. A few months ago she mentioned about someone listening in on her conversations and possibly even following her. I brushed it off as nothing. Fast forward last 30 days she has been very quiet when she visits, she just looks down and quiet. Two weeks ago we were at a family function, our parents present and our aunt/uncle. She all of a sudden blew up and screamed at me. She uthered threats that she will eliminated me from this planet for ruining her life. She kept screaming at me and went after me to hit me. I kept pleading for her to tell me what I did but she said you know dont pretend.

This was obviously just insane, she stormed out and ran to the bus. Whole family is shaken. My mom is ready for the hospital. All of this came out of nowhere.

We met with her last week, family and myself. She is unable to articulate her thoughts, she gets visibly upset looking at me. Calls me a puppet. And that I am in on "it". She said "they" are following her, I asked who are "they" and she told me that I know. I told her to call the police but she said police is in on it too. She owns her own house, but she says its wired and can never talk inside it with someone because "they" are listening. She said she almost attacked another woman on the bus because I told that woman everything that happened.

She still goes to work, and seems to be taking care of herself, physically.

Family doesnt know what to do? We tried talking to her but shes refusing to accept that anything is wrong with her, and does not wish to seek medical care. We are reluctant to call the police as she will probably lose her job and will be unable to pay for her mortgage.
We are concerned she might hurt someone, or even come after me.
Any advice would be appreciated?

Jen.
19 replies
Sr. Member
Jul 7, 2005
793 posts
79 upvotes
If you believe she poses a risk to herself or others you need to speak with the police. Other than that, if she can operate well enough and is reluctant to seek help, all you and your family can do is to keep talking to her to convince her to seek help. Seek guidance from a mental health professional.

http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/health_i ... renia.aspx
Deal Guru
User avatar
Feb 24, 2007
13023 posts
1604 upvotes
linsook wrote:
Mar 11th, 2018 10:07 am
If you believe she poses a risk to herself or others you need to speak with the police. Other than that, if she can operate well enough and is reluctant to seek help, all you and your family can do is to keep talking to her to convince her to seek help. Seek guidance from a mental health professional.

http://www.camh.ca/en/hospital/health_i ... renia.aspx
This is your only and best advice and anything else is hypothetical.
Deal Fanatic
User avatar
Mar 9, 2007
9615 posts
4006 upvotes
Toronto
Yes, seek professional help ASAP before something bad might happen to her or someone else. Don't ignore this!

WOULD SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!
Deal Fanatic
Sep 16, 2004
7753 posts
1044 upvotes
Toronto
I agree with linsook about the posing danger part or craziness continues for an extended period, then intervene.
Otherwise sometimes you need to leave people alone to sort out their own affairs no matter how painful it might be for you looking on.
Love, compassion, tolerance and support are things you can give a lot of but control, unwanted advice etc, not so much.
Member
Oct 23, 2017
492 posts
244 upvotes
GTA West
Jenn1990 wrote:
Mar 10th, 2018 9:06 pm
Hello I am Jen. I am new here and not sure where to post this. Hoping someone can help.

My sister is in her 30s and has been living on her own for a few years now. Single no partner. A few months ago she mentioned about someone listening in on her conversations and possibly even following her. I brushed it off as nothing. Fast forward last 30 days she has been very quiet when she visits, she just looks down and quiet. Two weeks ago we were at a family function, our parents present and our aunt/uncle. She all of a sudden blew up and screamed at me. She uthered threats that she will eliminated me from this planet for ruining her life. She kept screaming at me and went after me to hit me. I kept pleading for her to tell me what I did but she said you know dont pretend.

This was obviously just insane, she stormed out and ran to the bus. Whole family is shaken. My mom is ready for the hospital. All of this came out of nowhere.

We met with her last week, family and myself. She is unable to articulate her thoughts, she gets visibly upset looking at me. Calls me a puppet. And that I am in on "it". She said "they" are following her, I asked who are "they" and she told me that I know. I told her to call the police but she said police is in on it too. She owns her own house, but she says its wired and can never talk inside it with someone because "they" are listening. She said she almost attacked another woman on the bus because I told that woman everything that happened.

She still goes to work, and seems to be taking care of herself, physically.

Family doesnt know what to do? We tried talking to her but shes refusing to accept that anything is wrong with her, and does not wish to seek medical care. We are reluctant to call the police as she will probably lose her job and will be unable to pay for her mortgage.
We are concerned she might hurt someone, or even come after me.
Any advice would be appreciated?

Jen.
This is heart-breaking. I think it would be useful to get some advice from a mental health professional to help you deal with this, and advise you on any steps that may become necessary to deal with your sister. Could you try contacting a local branch of the Canadian Mental Health Association for a referral? It seems unlikely that this problem will resolve itself.

We had a similar situation where our family was unable to help a family member who started to exhibit schizophrenic behaviour. He did not improve,and got much worse. He was eventually stabilized on medications that controlled his symptoms, but much damage had been done and he was never able to carry on with a full productive life.

But since your sister has been self-supporting up to this point, she probably has a much better outlook provided she is agreeable to get treatment.

Wishing you all the best and hoping you find the strength to get through this.
Sr. Member
Mar 3, 2018
545 posts
321 upvotes
GTA
Bipolar also can cause hallucinations and paranoia. Difficult situation trying to help someone who needs help but won’t accept it.
Member
Apr 29, 2017
250 posts
57 upvotes
If your sister uses drugs she may have had a minor break or it may have built up to this point. It may not be drugs either and may be some type of condition brought on by stress or too much time to herself.

Obviously the best thing is to convince her to get to a psychiatrist or hospital asap.

I watched my best friend turn from everyone's favourite person to paranoid schizophrenic (everyone of his friends abandoned him and I'm the only one who talks to him to this day), the worst case the psych ward had at the time he got treatment. It is very hard and stressful to watch, especially if she isn't willing to get help.

Hopefully it is as simple as needing a medication or even just therapy or abstinence from drugs (if she is using drugs).
[OP]
Newbie
Mar 9, 2018
2 posts
Guelph/Milton
I thank all of you for your advice. She does not use any drugs. I cannot be the one talking to her as it appears im a major trigger, and in her words im the "puppet" and im conspiring with "them". I will try to get the rest of the family to talk her into seeking medical help.

She has said that she will go to a doctor but changes her mind the next day. Its very scary.

Thank you once again.
Deal Expert
User avatar
Jan 27, 2004
39364 posts
3583 upvotes
T.O. Lotto Captain
You gotta try to convince her to see a doctor for this.
That only works with lots of support and if she realizes and agrees... you can't really force her.

Thats the way the system is...

This is heart breaking. But next time this happens call the cops so they come and arrest her. Just say your sistet is saying weird things and youre afraid she'l hurt herself.
I know this sounds terrible... but they will just take her to the hospital and under the mental health act, they can form 1 her.
That way she has to go under a psychiatric assessment.
But the reality of the situation is that they'll give whatever diagnosis. But they'll refer her for more treatment and let her go the next day... unless she shows shes a really big danger by actually hurting herself and others. But most of the time they'll let em go after a day or 2.
But thats the tough part. Seeing and sticking to treatment. But at least the forceful diagnosis and hospital stay might show her whats going on.
Sr. Member
User avatar
Sep 15, 2010
656 posts
186 upvotes
Kawartha Lakes
If you are a trigger, get someone else to tell her that they will go to a family doctor visit with her. ..for support. From there, the doctor will refer to a professional who will help her. She needs to know that someone will drop everything to be with her...at any time. It's the only way.
Penalty Box
User avatar
Apr 25, 2013
6939 posts
1206 upvotes
I've seen this symptom before, your description is spot on that someone or something is stalking them on the phone, fax machine, cellphone etc...
Normally it starts with workplace pressure and trying to catching up with the Jones that causes this symptom.
If she sees her siblings succeeding buying a new house, new car and happy family surroundings and receiving praise from family and friends and she can't.
I don't know about the your sister's outcome, but most of these cases I've known does not improve and requires life long attention.
Deal Addict
Feb 23, 2015
1893 posts
584 upvotes
Brampton, ON
How is her daily functioning? Can she dress approperiatly? Can she work? Can she cook and feed herself?

If non of you can voluntarily get her to see a mental health worker perhaps give the police a call. They can come, hopefully assess her, and perhaps apprehend her and force her to be assessed by a psychiatrist via a form 1. She will then of course be either a voluntary patient or involuntary depending on the outcome of the assessment. The forms can be extended indefinitely btw depending on how she functions.

All the best.
Penalty Box
Mar 6, 2018
74 posts
17 upvotes
Jenn1990 wrote:
Mar 11th, 2018 12:34 pm
I thank all of you for your advice. She does not use any drugs. I cannot be the one talking to her as it appears im a major trigger, and in her words im the "puppet" and im conspiring with "them". I will try to get the rest of the family to talk her into seeking medical help.
She has said that she will go to a doctor but changes her mind the next day. Its very scary.
Thank you once again.
Tell her that one of you are losing it and that to determine who both of you will go see a shrink.
Unless it is a brain tumor there is no real upside to her seeing a doctor now. Yes, I agree something is really wrong but you can't save those that refuse unless you are OK with lying and telling the police or medical person she threatened to harm herself or others on multiple occasions.
A good thinking process to practice "If you think you have a smart answer be smarter and come up with the right answer"
Member
Oct 23, 2017
492 posts
244 upvotes
GTA West
Jenn1990 wrote:
Mar 11th, 2018 12:34 pm
I thank all of you for your advice. She does not use any drugs. I cannot be the one talking to her as it appears im a major trigger, and in her words im the "puppet" and im conspiring with "them". I will try to get the rest of the family to talk her into seeking medical help.

She has said that she will go to a doctor but changes her mind the next day. Its very scary.

Thank you once again.
In the long term, I think it is unlikely that you will be the "only trigger" for these kinds of behaviours to emerge. By speaking to a mental health professional you may be able to get a better perspective on your sister's condition that will help you deal with her and your own feelings about her.

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