How to handle this situation?

[raps4lyfe]

Ok so I was talking with my 10 year old niece (grade 6), and she was telling me how ppl from grade 8 are bullying her. I told her to tell the principal and she will take care of it. She told me she did and the principal talked to the person but it didn't help. They call her a snitch, curse at her, take her to a corner to imitate her and randomly bump into her

now she is 10 and these group of girls/bullies are 13

I told her that I will talk to the principal with her, she said it won't work and she is scared that they will beat her up after. Half way through the convo she started crying, and this got my blood boiling, I told her to show me who these ppl are and I will deal with them.

So I'm 20 ad they are 13, should I go talk with them and give them my piece of mind or talk too the principal even though it didn't help in the past. i know the age difference and even the gender difference is very awkward but can i just tell them to back off or else ill personally talk to the principal, their parents and even the police.

What's happening to these schools, kids can't even feel safe and concentrate on studying.

thanks

[alamshahid]

I recommend you go and talk to the principal. Let the principal know that you'll be picking up/ dropping off your niece and when you're doing that keep any eye out for these bullies.

If you do come across any of them just let them know that you are aware of what they are doing and its going to stop. Don't threaten them as you wouldn't want the situation being turned back on you.

[3weddings]

Where are your niece's parents? This is their responsibility to address with the Principal.

They should immediately ask for a meeting with the Principal and insist that the course of action (likely redirect) is NOT working. All schools have ZERO TOLERANCE for all types of bullying. These children must be reprimanded and stopped immediately.

If the Principal does not solve the problem by day's end (after the meeting), I'd feel quite comfortable in calling the police and involving them since the child obviously does not feel safe at school.

As much as you want to help, and she obviously feels comfortable to discuss this with you, this is not your battle and the Principal will tell you so.

[mau77on]

definitely tell the parents to speak with the principal. I remember when i got threatened and assaulted in HS. Went to the principal and he dealt with it quick and smoothly. He basically told those that were messing around with me that if another incident happens again, they will get expelled. I don't know if it was the principal or my older bro that did the convincing .

Now i don't know if my situation is the same as hers but nevertheless the principal has the power to stop this and he should be able to exercise that.

[ruhroh]

The awesome thing to do would be to teach her self defense and martial arts and have her beat the crap out of them.

But 3weddings advice is best.

[AcidBomber]

Im guessing you're quite close with your niece as she's comfortable in telling you things. But I think you should speak to her parents about it first, then have them talk to the principal to resolve this issue.

[johnboy]

Long time ago, my uncle told me his little boy was being bullied at school. Solution: he bought him nunchucks. Worked! That was probably in the late 70's/early 80's. So that solution is no go anymore. LOL

[angekfire]

They should immediately ask for a meeting with the Principal and insist that the course of action (likely redirect) is NOT working. All schools have ZERO TOLERANCE for all types of bullying. These children must be reprimanded and stopped immediately.

All schools SAY they have a zero tolerance policy, even when I was in school, but it was more like a "75% tolerance" policy. I was deliberately tripped by someone and broke my arm in grade 7, and he said it was an accident. After 2 weeks he admitted he lied, and it was intentional. His punishment for deliberately injuring me, then lying about it: 1 day in-school suspension.

Yea, that really dissuades bullies alright. Zero tolerance my ass. And this was with principal involvement and everything.

[Takami]

Either I have been seriously out of touch with the youth generations, or your niece's story doesn't add up too well. It is extremely out of character for a group of teenage girls ruin your niece's life unless they have something to gain from it. Image and reputation is everything in the teenage world, and I don't think a bunch of 13 y/o girls bullying one 10 y/o who probably hasn't even gone though puberty is going to sit well in front of their other friends.

You are also wrong to think that a 10 year old girl cannot play games with you to benefit their own agenda. I remember when I was 10, we were playing at the park and two 9 y/o girls wanted us to leave. Of course we didn't leave because we were there first. So the 2 girls got their older brothers who were 13-14 y/o to beat us up by telling them that we bullied their sisters. The older boys came at us with a lot of anger and they didn't spare any punches. Some of us got really hurt from that incident.

The OP should talk to the principals to confirm the situation and not confront the girls directly. Try to get the full story first before you play hero.

[johnboy]

There was a bully back in grade 3 or 4. He bullied everyone for a long time and back in those days, teachers and principal couldn't care less. One day after school we took it upon ourselves to teach him a lesson. My buddy and I waited for him to leave after school to give him the beats. We got tired of waiting so my buddy went inside to flush him out and I was right there, a little guy throwing a bunch and hit him in the eye. I think my buddy caught up and started beating him down and I joined in too. Had black eye next day. He never bothered us again. It wasn't a serious beat. But I can't imagine what beating someone up nowadays would mean.

The sad truth of it all, when we're kids we fight to end a disputes when nothing else worked. Nothing changes when we get older. Bigger picture would be country X fighting country Y.

BTW, i don't recommend ganging up on the bullies... Talking to principal again is the right thing to do nowadays. LOL!

[Adams06]

Watch how the mall security guards handle the skater situation in the movie Observe and Report and then follow those guidelines.

On a more serious note, talk to the principal like everyone said. Otherwise, tell your neice she needs to grow some tougher skin. She may only be 10, but that's a good enough age to learn how things work. School is a place where you will get picked on and bullied unless you're one of the cool kids. She's going to have to learn to take it and ignore it. When you move on to the real world, there's no principal to go tell the bullies on.

[raps4lyfe]

Where are your niece's parents? This is their responsibility to address with the Principal.

They should immediately ask for a meeting with the Principal and insist that the course of action (likely redirect) is NOT working. All schools have ZERO TOLERANCE for all types of bullying. These children must be reprimanded and stopped immediately.

If the Principal does not solve the problem by day's end (after the meeting), I'd feel quite comfortable in calling the police and involving them since the child obviously does not feel safe at school.

As much as you want to help, and she obviously feels comfortable to discuss this with you, this is not your battle and the Principal will tell you so.

thanks i called parents, they knew about it aswell and i told them to call the principal and tell her to look into it. The principal is looking into it and will get back to her

Either I have been seriously out of touch with the youth generations, or your niece's story doesn't add up too well. It is extremely out of character for a group of teenage girls ruin your niece's life unless they have something to gain from it. Image and reputation is everything in the teenage world, and I don't think a bunch of 13 y/o girls bullying one 10 y/o who probably hasn't even gone though puberty is going to sit well in front of their other friends.

You are also wrong to think that a 10 year old girl cannot play games with you to benefit their own agenda. I remember when I was 10, we were playing at the park and two 9 y/o girls wanted us to leave. Of course we didn't leave because we were there first. So the 2 girls got their older brothers who were 13-14 y/o to beat us up by telling them that we bullied their sisters. The older boys came at us with a lot of anger and they didn't spare any punches. Some of us got really hurt from that incident.

The OP should talk to the principals to confirm the situation and not confront the girls directly. Try to get the full story first before you play hero.

If you knew our family background and the girl who is complaining, you would know she wont go around picking fights and messing with ppl. Kids these days think since they are the most senior (grade 8), they can do anyhing they want and obviously they arent gonna pick on kids their own size to be cool.
This group of bullies dont only pick on my niece, they pick on her friends, other ppl in grade 6 and even some from grade 7.

So i went to pick her up at lunch since i wasnt busy and she seemed tensed and then started crying. I asked her what happened and she told me that she got picked on again and told the principal and now she is scared they will hit her. If it wasnt for the age and the gender issue, i would seriously teach them a lesson

anyways principal is looking into it and hopefully they end this soon

[CheapScotsman]

thanks i called parents, they knew about it aswell and i told them to call the principal and tell her to look into it. The principal is looking into it and will get back to her
.....

anyways principal is looking into it and hopefully they end this soon

While just about everywhere has a zero tolerance for bullying, some places aren't very effective in making it happen.

So .... one of the most important parts of 3weddings advice is to limit the time frame. If the principal can't "solve" the problem ASAP; tell them you are going to then actually call the police. Start making it official; write a letter to the school district / board indicating the actions taken and no results. Make waves.

[3weddings]

All schools SAY they have a zero tolerance policy, even when I was in school, but it was more like a "75% tolerance" policy. I was deliberately tripped by someone and broke my arm in grade 7, and he said it was an accident. After 2 weeks he admitted he lied, and it was intentional. His punishment for deliberately injuring me, then lying about it: 1 day in-school suspension.

Yea, that really dissuades bullies alright. Zero tolerance my ass. And this was with principal involvement and everything.

and this is WHY you have to continue to be the first message the Principal gets in the morning and the last one they see at the end of the day. Unless the parents are on these public employee asses, nothing WILL be done.

My 13 year old has been receiving negative attention from kids she's been in class with since kindergarten, and I put a stop to it immediately. My family IS very different from 90% of the families in our little town, and I strive to have these children learn compassion and tolerance. I am very outspoken when it comes to racially biased negativity since I grew up with it in Toronto. Not so for the new people moving in, they are moving here to 'get away' from 'those' people. Well I am one of 'those' people and have lived here peacefully since 1995, who is going to win?

Either I have been seriously out of touch with the youth generations, or your niece's story doesn't add up too well. It is extremely out of character for a group of teenage girls ruin your niece's life unless they have something to gain from it. Image and reputation is everything in the teenage world, and I don't think a bunch of 13 y/o girls bullying one 10 y/o who probably hasn't even gone though puberty is going to sit well in front of their other friends.

You are also wrong to think that a 10 year old girl cannot play games with you to benefit their own agenda. I remember when I was 10, we were playing at the park and two 9 y/o girls wanted us to leave. Of course we didn't leave because we were there first. So the 2 girls got their older brothers who were 13-14 y/o to beat us up by telling them that we bullied their sisters. The older boys came at us with a lot of anger and they didn't spare any punches. Some of us got really hurt from that incident.

The OP should talk to the principals to confirm the situation and not confront the girls directly. Try to get the full story first before you play hero.

you are seriously out of touch unfortunately. It's all about who is the meanest! Being nice, having good grades, being an athlete and not wearing the right clothing is cause for much turmoil these days.

I blame the parents for the most part. Too young to now have the time or understand their teenage children. How the hell can a child learn from an immature parent who lacks (and exhibits the same) social skills?

[CSK'sMom]

you are seriously out of touch unfortunately. It's all about who is the meanest! Being nice, having good grades, being an athlete and not wearing the right clothing is cause for much turmoil these days.

I blame the parents for the most part. Too young to now have the time or understand their teenage children. How the hell can a child learn from an immature parent who lacks (and exhibits the same) social skills?

Yep, absolutely! As the Mom to a 14 yr old girl I can tell you that girls are very different from boys. Girls don't generally fight with their fists, they fight with their words. That can range from a full blown argument with name calling to the subtle innuendo and snide remarks in passing or gossip. Everything is fair game as Steph said... clothes, makeup, activities, grades, friends can all be used as a weapon with girls. With Facebook and the like it's even worse now as they can be cyber bullied and stalked.

I too blame the bullies parents for lack of parenting. They have raised children that have no empathy or compassion let alone manners. The kids have obviously learned somewhere that behaving like this is appropriate and gets one what they want.... <sigh>.....