How Long To Wait After Somebody's Breakup Before You'd Date Him/Her?

[iEyeCaptain]

Do you have a rule of thumb of how long after someone's breakup before you think it's "okay" to ask them out?

Consider the factors (a few of many..):

1) He/she may still have feelings for ex.
2) He/she may still be depressed, thus pouring his/her heart out to you, thus friend-zoning you.
3) He/she may think you're "swooping" in for "rebound coitus"
4) He/she may only date you to get "revenge" on ex.

This is considering you're actually interested in said person and not just there for the rebound coitus.

Conversely, do YOU have a rule of thumb of how long you wait after a breakup before you're "ready" to date another person?

Do you have any interesting stories/experiences/tips to share with RFD OT about this very topic?

P.S. first person to say "sloppy seconds" will receive a harshly worded PM from me.

[sylpherware]

You snooze you lose

[BluePhirePB]

Never. It's a bad idea.

[flashy_mcflash]

Never. It's a bad idea.

So you never date anyone that's dated anyone else?? What world do you live in?

[ji2o0k]

Probably keep your distance for 2-3 months....then start hanging out with a group of mutual friends and her around the 4 month mark...just to scope out her situation...

I probably wouldn't start dating her until close to 8 months later..

You also have to consider how long they have dated for....if they dated for a really long time (say greater than 2 yrs..you might want to wait longer...)

In my past, I started seeing this girl that I had a crush on for the longest time based on encouragement from my friends....they knew she broke up with her ex (I don't know how long) and said I should go...so we started hanging out and seeing each other but she broke it off shortly after...and went back to her ex!

After that, I never considered dating her and she never considered dating me...though we were both single at certain times....oh well...shouldn't have listened to my friends...

[cheapgeek]

Most women I know are good to go after a week.

[iEyeCaptain]

You snooze you lose

So... right after she gets home from the break up, you swoop in?

Never. It's a bad idea.

What flashy said.

So you never date anyone that's dated anyone else?? What world do you live in?

Singletown.

Most women I know are good to go after a week.

Please introduce them to RFD. Many needy souls here.

[Hairball]

A general rule to follow is minimum 1 month, and plus one month for every year they dated. Add 6 months if they were married.

[sylpherware]

So... right after she gets home from the break up, you swoop in?

Depends on how you define "swoop in". I'm not gonna force her into sex or having a relationship, but at least I'll let her know I'm interested and available. You want to provide her some comfort, but not so much that you become the "gay friend".

Also, while you're deciding how long you should wait, someone's making a move already.

[diggler649]

I only date women who have been untouched by human hands - unless they were their own.

[ji2o0k]

I only date women who have been untouched by human hands - unless they were their own or other women's.

fixed!

[007craft]

my friend broke up with her BF of 1.5 years this monday. She wants to get laid this weekend. So I wouldnt wait at all. Shes going to get laid this weekend im sure (shes attractive so it wont be hard for her) and im sure she will be in another relationship within a month.

I say its how it was broken off. In my friends case, it was the guy who wasent showing enough passion/attention to her, so now she probably wants to have fun. If its a breakup where like the guy cheated on the girl, then you probably have to wait a little longer.

[flashy_mcflash]

I only date women who have been untouched by human hands - unless they were their own.

Hopefully they have the same criteria for men, or you'd be batting zero huh?

[diggler649]

Hopefully they have the same criteria for men, or you'd be batting zero huh?

Well played, my friend. Well played.

[uber_shnitz]

Depends both on the woman and on the breakup. You can't really generalize a rule for all women cause they're all different. I've seen girls who hooked up a few days after they broke up and girls who were in ice cream and crying for 3 months after