Parenting & Family

How many parents regret having a 4th child?

  • Last Updated:
  • Sep 19th, 2017 9:48 pm
[OP]
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Oct 1, 2004
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Toronto

How many parents regret having a 4th child?

Think in this day and age 3 kids is the norm, wondering how many parents out there regret having a 4th if money was not an issue.

We are early 30s first 3 are all spaced 2 years apart.
29 replies
Sr. Member
Mar 10, 2010
857 posts
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Friends of ours have 4. They probably wouldn't full out say that they regret it.. but they are brutally frazzled these days.
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Sep 21, 2010
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One good reason to go for 4 is to have 2 sons and 2 daughters, so they can all have the exp of having both a bro and a sis! GL.
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Aug 16, 2010
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Wow, 4! I would say in this day and age, 2 is more like the norm. We have one. I would think there would be logistical disadvqntages to 4, like a standard sedan typically seats 5 (2 parents, 3 kids). Also, you might need a 5 bedroom house. And (holy cow!) Imagine the cost of a family outing at Canada's Wonderland (assuming cost IS an issue). Making 4 school lunches when you're exausted at night. Perhaps a total of 6 bikes in the garage (space). Etc.
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Mar 18, 2005
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DiceMan wrote:
Aug 17th, 2017 11:31 pm
Wow, 4! I would say in this day and age, 2 is more like the norm. We have one. I would think there would be logistical disadvqntages to 4, like a standard sedan typically seats 5 (2 parents, 3 kids). Also, you might need a 5 bedroom house. And (holy cow!) Imagine the cost of a family outing at Canada's Wonderland (assuming cost IS an issue). Making 4 school lunches when you're exausted at night. Perhaps a total of 6 bikes in the garage (space). Etc.
Hey a minivan and make the kids share a room, problem solved.

I'm gonna stick with my one kid though, no way I could handle 3, nevermind 4.
Newbie
Nov 25, 2016
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DiceMan wrote:
Aug 17th, 2017 11:31 pm
Wow, 4! I would say in this day and age, 2 is more like the norm. We have one. I would think there would be logistical disadvqntages to 4, like a standard sedan typically seats 5 (2 parents, 3 kids). Also, you might need a 5 bedroom house. And (holy cow!) Imagine the cost of a family outing at Canada's Wonderland (assuming cost IS an issue). Making 4 school lunches when you're exausted at night. Perhaps a total of 6 bikes in the garage (space). Etc.
I'd agree that 2 kids would be the norm.

All the families I know with 4 kids have one stay at home parent and most of them also have a lot of hired help. With that said, I don't think any of them regret having the 4th.
Sr. Member
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Dec 12, 2004
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We had 2 and then after we were blessed by twins.
The amount of work does not multiply going from 1 to 2 to 4. 4 are more work for sure but not by much.
The only issue is cars. If you want something to be able to tow with and fits 6+ your options will be more limited and cost will be higher (I'm still avoiding van!).
Traveling and finding rooms willing to take that number is not as easy. Forget cruise ships too unless you want to spend much more.

People before us managed with ~double the kids we have now a day. Enjoy your kids and if you want more, "make" more :D
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Jan 2, 2015
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tranquility922 wrote:
Aug 17th, 2017 11:29 pm
One good reason to go for 4 is to have 2 sons and 2 daughters, so they can all have the exp of having both a bro and a sis! GL.
Because one can control that have two of each!?! What happens if the forth child is the 'wrong' gender.
On a 'smart' device that isn't always so smart. So please forgive the autocorrects and typos.
Sr. Member
Jan 2, 2015
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We have two, which is exactly what we wanted and planned. I wasn't ready to have the kids ever out number me Grinning Face

However, we know a few family's woth 4 and 5 kids. One said they only wanted even numbers, so two was their original plan, I think 3 was an oops, so they went with for the for. They are a busy family but now they are older things have calmed down.

Maybe it's just the people I know, but I don't know a single parent that we hang out with that has regretted they number of kids they had, no matter what that number is. I do know a few who regretted not having more.
On a 'smart' device that isn't always so smart. So please forgive the autocorrects and typos.
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Feb 5, 2009
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Newmarket
greg123 wrote:
Aug 17th, 2017 11:02 pm
Think in this day and age 3 kids is the norm,
In Canada, Since 1970 the replacement rate has been below 2, and hovering around 1.5 to 1.75 since the eighties, so no, the norm is 1 or two children, with some choosing not to have any children, and some choosing 3 or more. This is pretty much across all of the developed countries.
Hope India and such can join the trend.
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Dec 21, 2011
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Macx2mommy wrote:
Aug 18th, 2017 1:41 pm
Maybe it's just the people I know, but I don't know a single parent that we hang out with that has regretted they number of kids they had, no matter what that number is. I do know a few who regretted not having more.
Same here. In London I know far more families that have 3 than two so maybe while overall country average is two some cities have a higher average. My neighbours have 7 (1 his, 2 hers and 4 theirs - 5 boys, 2 girls) and our last tenants (all theirs, 6 and equal mix of boys and girls) do not regret a single one. My two closest colleagues at work have 3, girl boy girl for each, and think three is the perfect number. genuinely don't know anyone who regretted more than two, and some who had one I know wish they had at least another.
Newbie
Jun 11, 2006
85 posts
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I have 3, and would have seriously considered a 4th if I was younger (didn't start until I was in my 30's). The early years are a lot of work, but it does pass. As someone said earlier, the work for each additional child isn't that bad if you already have some.

Now that they are older, I find they have alot of fun together. Sure, there's also alot of bickering, and they can get loud and rowdy, but I'm happy they have each other. I think you're more likely to regret *not* having a 4th, then having one.
Sr. Member
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Mar 9, 2012
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KITCHENER
My ex now has 5 kids, though two are mine and live with me. At home she has 4. I am doubting that she is done...lol.
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Mar 9, 2012
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KITCHENER
greg123 wrote:
Aug 17th, 2017 11:02 pm
Think in this day and age 3 kids is the norm, wondering how many parents out there regret having a 4th if money was not an issue.

We are early 30s first 3 are all spaced 2 years apart.
Ontario Income Tax Reduction, Trillium, HST and CTB FTW! If someone can manage to have 4 kids with an income of $50,000 or so, taxes are almost non-existent, and the benefits would be close to $2,000/month...at least in Ontario.
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Sep 21, 2010
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Macx2mommy wrote:
Aug 18th, 2017 1:38 pm
Because one can control that have two of each!?! What happens if the forth child is the 'wrong' gender.
I'm trying to be +ive for the OP. The right # to have is 0 imo. Once you have kids, you can forget about freedom lol.

Ofc one can choose if they have the means a la designer babies, having both sex twins at one shot is the 'best' way, over and done. :D

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