I was 23 when my first was born, 26 with my second and 30 with my third. On the fence about a forth. At the time, 23 seemed young -- looking back we were more settled then that many folks in their 30s. My husband is a year older then me. We've had the pleasure of growing up with our kids in a way, it's been fantastic.
How old were you when you had your first born? Would you have waited?
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- Nov 20th, 2015 1:40 am
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- oddduck
- Member
- Apr 9, 2004
- 393 posts
- 158 upvotes
- London
- mocha'n'me
- Sr. Member
- Dec 12, 2007
- 771 posts
- 112 upvotes
I'm a parent, I still eat french fries and other junk food. I also enjoy both white and red wines(when not pregnant). We stay up late sometimes, and even regret it the next day. We have a travel bug, and are trying to instill the same in our daughter. Sure we aren't always traveling 5* but still having great experiences. Having a child or children is not a death sentence to your independence or social life, it's another opportunity to make the most of life and love.Yu_Qing wrote: ↑Thanks everyone. This isn't something I take lightly so I do think a lot about my age, health, and of course, whether or not I'm a fit parent. I still eat French fries. I don't smoke but I do like white wine. I stay up late to read and work which is a no-no. I have a travel bug and every year I think about where to go next. Not to mention I still have a lot of growing up to do. Yet I know that there's always consequences to any decision.
I appreciate everyone's candid responses.
Besides, best case scenario you get pregnant first try, you're very likely to have almost a year until baby is born.
- Redguard
- Deal Addict
- Aug 28, 2007
- 1743 posts
- 122 upvotes
1st child: Wife 23, Me 24
2nd child: Wife 27, Me 29
Happy with the timing. It was rough at first, but rewarding now that we have very independent children while we're in our mid 30s.
2nd child: Wife 27, Me 29
Happy with the timing. It was rough at first, but rewarding now that we have very independent children while we're in our mid 30s.
- kanewtz
- Deal Addict
- Apr 19, 2010
- 3071 posts
- 1585 upvotes
I was 29, wife was 27.
We were married when I was 27 and she was 25.
We both waited until we had our careers established with our designations and such.
Currently discussing expanding our family. Our son turned 2, a month ago.
We were married when I was 27 and she was 25.
We both waited until we had our careers established with our designations and such.
Currently discussing expanding our family. Our son turned 2, a month ago.
- bizcoach
- Member
- Jan 24, 2014
- 404 posts
- 86 upvotes
- Toronto
Both 24
Then 26,28,30.
4 kids by 30 was amazing
Then 26,28,30.
4 kids by 30 was amazing
- Magoo61
- Sr. Member
- Mar 19, 2013
- 728 posts
- 228 upvotes
- Prince Albert, Sask.
First, wife was 22, I was 24. Second, she was 24, I was 26. In my view it a matter of when you are ready. Parenting has many challenges and responsibilities, comes with many rewards and joy.
Having children early, became a grandpa at 51 and now at 54 have 4 grandchildren. Love it.
Having children early, became a grandpa at 51 and now at 54 have 4 grandchildren. Love it.
- Gutty96
- Deal Expert
- Jun 24, 2006
- 15769 posts
- 11167 upvotes
I was 31 for the first, wife was 29. 34 for the second, wife 31.
We are happy we waited for financial stability.
I have now been informed it is time for the snip.
We are happy we waited for financial stability.
I have now been informed it is time for the snip.
- Alekxqin
- Deal Addict
- Oct 15, 2015
- 2670 posts
- 2789 upvotes
- Montreal, QC
Hi, we both are 37. We have a kid in 31 and we are planning to have another kid. Like what you said above, we have been warning about being high risk as well.
Basically, a traditional experience tells us that we should have the first born in earlier age, ex. 25-33. But, we have no choice, right? :P
Basically, a traditional experience tells us that we should have the first born in earlier age, ex. 25-33. But, we have no choice, right? :P
- guysmiley8
- Member
- Jan 15, 2008
- 334 posts
- 121 upvotes
- Hamilton
I was 31 and my wife was almost 32 by the time of birth. We had been married for 6 years before the first-born came along. Experienced some fertility issues due to a medical condition but did not require intervention in the end. Still trying to decide if having #2 is right for us given all the circumstances of our situation.
You may never feel (and may never be) 100% ready, but it's a good idea to feel, I dunno, 70% ready before you go for it.
You will receive A LOT of unsolicited advice, judgment, etc. and some of it will even be well-meaning, but ignore anything subjective in nature. Every pregnancy is different, every child is different. There is no magic bullet or trick; there is nothing that "always works" in any aspect of child-rearing. Read and learn as much as you can and do what you feel is right (unless you are going against the medical or scientific consensus).
I have never been good with kids and I'm still not, at least with other people's kids. I am the younger sibling in my family and never had any experience in child care. I don't like holding babies. I was nervous as hell. But my one little data point says that as soon as my child was born in the hospital, it felt like a switch being flipped in my head. I was ready to be a dad...to my own child at least. It's different when it's your own, I guess.
Some perspective..."high-risk" when it comes to being older parents is relative. Baby Centre says for age 40, there's a 1/100 risk of Down's syndrome vs. 1/900 at age 30. Yes, the chances are 9 times greater, but 1/100 is 1%, that's still really small. Flip it around...99/100 or 99% is interpreted as being near certainty in other contexts.
If you are older and still want a child, I don't think you should let only the fear of birth defects or miscarriage stop you. Not to diminish the concerns; just to say that if fear of those is your only obstacle, then I don't think that's sufficient justification to NOT have a child that you desire to have.
You may never feel (and may never be) 100% ready, but it's a good idea to feel, I dunno, 70% ready before you go for it.
You will receive A LOT of unsolicited advice, judgment, etc. and some of it will even be well-meaning, but ignore anything subjective in nature. Every pregnancy is different, every child is different. There is no magic bullet or trick; there is nothing that "always works" in any aspect of child-rearing. Read and learn as much as you can and do what you feel is right (unless you are going against the medical or scientific consensus).
I have never been good with kids and I'm still not, at least with other people's kids. I am the younger sibling in my family and never had any experience in child care. I don't like holding babies. I was nervous as hell. But my one little data point says that as soon as my child was born in the hospital, it felt like a switch being flipped in my head. I was ready to be a dad...to my own child at least. It's different when it's your own, I guess.
Some perspective..."high-risk" when it comes to being older parents is relative. Baby Centre says for age 40, there's a 1/100 risk of Down's syndrome vs. 1/900 at age 30. Yes, the chances are 9 times greater, but 1/100 is 1%, that's still really small. Flip it around...99/100 or 99% is interpreted as being near certainty in other contexts.
If you are older and still want a child, I don't think you should let only the fear of birth defects or miscarriage stop you. Not to diminish the concerns; just to say that if fear of those is your only obstacle, then I don't think that's sufficient justification to NOT have a child that you desire to have.
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