Parenting & Family

How old were you when you had your first born? Would you have waited?

  • Last Updated:
  • Nov 20th, 2015 1:40 am
Tags:
None
Member
Apr 9, 2004
393 posts
158 upvotes
London
I was 23 when my first was born, 26 with my second and 30 with my third. On the fence about a forth. At the time, 23 seemed young -- looking back we were more settled then that many folks in their 30s. My husband is a year older then me. We've had the pleasure of growing up with our kids in a way, it's been fantastic.
Sr. Member
Dec 12, 2007
771 posts
112 upvotes
Yu_Qing wrote: Thanks everyone. This isn't something I take lightly so I do think a lot about my age, health, and of course, whether or not I'm a fit parent. I still eat French fries. I don't smoke but I do like white wine. I stay up late to read and work which is a no-no. I have a travel bug and every year I think about where to go next. Not to mention I still have a lot of growing up to do. Yet I know that there's always consequences to any decision.

I appreciate everyone's candid responses.
I'm a parent, I still eat french fries and other junk food. I also enjoy both white and red wines(when not pregnant). We stay up late sometimes, and even regret it the next day. We have a travel bug, and are trying to instill the same in our daughter. Sure we aren't always traveling 5* but still having great experiences. Having a child or children is not a death sentence to your independence or social life, it's another opportunity to make the most of life and love.

Besides, best case scenario you get pregnant first try, you're very likely to have almost a year until baby is born.
Deal Addict
User avatar
Aug 28, 2007
1743 posts
122 upvotes
1st child: Wife 23, Me 24
2nd child: Wife 27, Me 29

Happy with the timing. It was rough at first, but rewarding now that we have very independent children while we're in our mid 30s.
Deal Addict
Apr 19, 2010
3071 posts
1585 upvotes
I was 29, wife was 27.

We were married when I was 27 and she was 25.

We both waited until we had our careers established with our designations and such.

Currently discussing expanding our family. Our son turned 2, a month ago.
Member
User avatar
Jan 24, 2014
404 posts
86 upvotes
Toronto
Both 24

Then 26,28,30.

4 kids by 30 was amazing
Sr. Member
Mar 19, 2013
728 posts
228 upvotes
Prince Albert, Sask.
First, wife was 22, I was 24. Second, she was 24, I was 26. In my view it a matter of when you are ready. Parenting has many challenges and responsibilities, comes with many rewards and joy.

Having children early, became a grandpa at 51 and now at 54 have 4 grandchildren. Love it.
Deal Expert
Jun 24, 2006
15769 posts
11167 upvotes
I was 31 for the first, wife was 29. 34 for the second, wife 31.

We are happy we waited for financial stability.

I have now been informed it is time for the snip.
Deal Addict
User avatar
Oct 15, 2015
2670 posts
2789 upvotes
Montreal, QC
Hi, we both are 37. We have a kid in 31 and we are planning to have another kid. Like what you said above, we have been warning about being high risk as well.
Basically, a traditional experience tells us that we should have the first born in earlier age, ex. 25-33. But, we have no choice, right? :P
Member
Jan 15, 2008
334 posts
121 upvotes
Hamilton
I was 31 and my wife was almost 32 by the time of birth. We had been married for 6 years before the first-born came along. Experienced some fertility issues due to a medical condition but did not require intervention in the end. Still trying to decide if having #2 is right for us given all the circumstances of our situation.

You may never feel (and may never be) 100% ready, but it's a good idea to feel, I dunno, 70% ready before you go for it.

You will receive A LOT of unsolicited advice, judgment, etc. and some of it will even be well-meaning, but ignore anything subjective in nature. Every pregnancy is different, every child is different. There is no magic bullet or trick; there is nothing that "always works" in any aspect of child-rearing. Read and learn as much as you can and do what you feel is right (unless you are going against the medical or scientific consensus).

I have never been good with kids and I'm still not, at least with other people's kids. I am the younger sibling in my family and never had any experience in child care. I don't like holding babies. I was nervous as hell. But my one little data point says that as soon as my child was born in the hospital, it felt like a switch being flipped in my head. I was ready to be a dad...to my own child at least. It's different when it's your own, I guess.

Some perspective..."high-risk" when it comes to being older parents is relative. Baby Centre says for age 40, there's a 1/100 risk of Down's syndrome vs. 1/900 at age 30. Yes, the chances are 9 times greater, but 1/100 is 1%, that's still really small. Flip it around...99/100 or 99% is interpreted as being near certainty in other contexts.

If you are older and still want a child, I don't think you should let only the fear of birth defects or miscarriage stop you. Not to diminish the concerns; just to say that if fear of those is your only obstacle, then I don't think that's sufficient justification to NOT have a child that you desire to have.

Top

Thread Information

There is currently 1 user viewing this thread. (0 members and 1 guest)