Personal Finance

Lent money to someone - Help minimize the consequences

  • Last Updated:
  • Feb 12th, 2019 12:55 pm
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Deal Addict
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Feb 19, 2014
1758 posts
588 upvotes
Toronto
alanbrenton wrote:
Feb 7th, 2019 8:29 pm
I learned a few lessons:
  1. Obtain a collateral worth more than 100% of the loan
  2. Do not trust all women, no matter how cute and affectionate they are. I would trust @angryaudifanatic as an exception as she's been so helpful on RFD.
  3. Do not lend money to anyone with ill-repute/character or spendthrift qualities because the chances of getting paid back is very low. They can always tap their credit cards, LOC's or even Money Mart.
  4. Roll with the punches on RFD. Most are just pulling one's leg.

All the best OP. This is coming from a guy who got into a bind, borrowed from families and friends and paid off the obligations. I think character and some decent income / simple lifestyle are the primary determining factors whether debtors intend to pay down their debt.
Man, one of my good buddies got fleeced by his now ex-girlfriend. She was definitely a looker and he pretty much said himself he got seduced by her. He helped her pay off her credit card bill which was over $7,000 <-- Like are you serious man??? And she ended up moving in with him and wasn't paying for rent or food or anything for about 18months. Now my buddy makes about $80k a year, which is quite good, but still. She ended up breaking his heart and moved onto another guy, who seemingly had more money.

Personally, I think that was the best thing to happen to him. But, he was crushed at the time.
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Apr 21, 2004
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jellytime wrote:
Feb 8th, 2019 2:15 pm
Man, one of my good buddies got fleeced by his now ex-girlfriend. She was definitely a looker and he pretty much said himself he got seduced by her. He helped her pay off her credit card bill which was over $7,000 <-- Like are you serious man??? And she ended up moving in with him and wasn't paying for rent or food or anything for about 18months. Now my buddy makes about $80k a year, which is quite good, but still. She ended up breaking his heart and moved onto another guy, who seemingly had more money.

Personally, I think that was the best thing to happen to him. But, he was crushed at the time.
Maybe onto someone in the $100k thread, and then onto another one in the $250k household thread. :(

That sucks. Lots of people can play good actors/actresses nowadays. Hopefully he had lots of mini Happy Endings.
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Member
Jun 9, 2013
205 posts
64 upvotes
Surrey
max9505672 wrote:
Jan 25th, 2019 1:19 pm
Other quick question for my formal notice (mise en demeure).

I want to send the formal notice with a delay for the amount that hasn't been paid up to this date. For example, she owes 5000$ total, but the amount due up to now is 1000$.

Should I request 1000$ in, let's say, the next 10 days OR 5000$?

I am tempted to request 1000$ because I still have a small hope this formal notice will ''scare'' her and push her to start paying (which is what I'd prefer at the end of the day).

BUT, if I do so, and she doesn't pay, and I file for small claims, can I claim 1000$ or 5000$?

I think it's the whole 5000$. There's a part in my contract sayings (sorry for the poor translation) :

4. Default
In each and every one of the following cases:
(a) When the borrower fails to make a payment when due or fails to reimburse the lender for any other amount due or that may become due under this agreement;
(b) Where the borrower is declared bankrupt or insolvent, or becomes unable to pay his debts in accordance with the provisions of any law created for the benefit of his creditors, or where the borrower makes an assignment of his property for the benefit of his creditors in general or recognize his insolvency in any other way; or
(c) Where the Borrower fails, either by action or omission, to fulfill or comply with any of its obligations under this contract,
The lender and the borrower can contractually agree on new repayment terms.
If no agreement is possible between the two parties, the lender has the right, without notice or other demand, to demand the immediate repayment of any unpaid amounts due, or due to become due, by the borrower under the terms of this Agreement. contract, whether or not the borrower has been given time to repay these amounts.




this kind of demand letter doesnt really do anything, if she doesnt want to pay, she wont pay either way, if she cant pay, u cant get blood from a stone.




i feel like u should just call her bluff on bankruptcy.

you said its 4 digits loan. bankruptcy cost is at least $2000.. so what she saves a max of $7999 from you but get no lending products for the next 7 years?

call her bakruptcy bluff and force her into a settlement with u is the best route imo.

ie u loaned her $5000, bankruptcy cost $2000, settle with her for $3000, that way after weighting in the cons and costs about bankruptcy, she would be more likely to lean towards settling with u.
Jr. Member
Jul 25, 2018
164 posts
354 upvotes
Milton, ON
Tough situation.. I once lent a co-worker $500 for 10% interest and he came up with every excuse in the book. Ended up getting it all after chasing him for about a year so I can sympathize with you, albeit with much less money.

People who dodge debts rarely change and I think that this will cause you endless bouts of stress. You have to think about the value of time too, how many hours did you spend researching your legal options and what to do? I think an all-or-nothing approach is the best given the situation, i.e. go with option 1. Call her bluff and take the gamble on her declaring bankruptcy. If she's willing to go through that instead of paying you back, she was never going to pay you back in the first place. Someone else said it earlier but never lend money expecting it back.

Best of luck to you OP.
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Apr 16, 2007
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wow, can't believe this thread is still going... the statute of limitations has expired by now
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Aug 18, 2018
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JoelK22976 wrote:
Feb 11th, 2019 4:16 pm
Tough situation.. I once lent a co-worker $500 for 10% interest and he came up with every excuse in the book. Ended up getting it all after chasing him for about a year so I can sympathize with you, albeit with much less money.

People who dodge debts rarely change and I think that this will cause you endless bouts of stress. You have to think about the value of time too, how many hours did you spend researching your legal options and what to do? I think an all-or-nothing approach is the best given the situation, i.e. go with option 1. Call her bluff and take the gamble on her declaring bankruptcy. If she's willing to go through that instead of paying you back, she was never going to pay you back in the first place. Someone else said it earlier but never lend money expecting it back.

Best of luck to you OP.
+1!!!

Deadbeats will always be deadbeats. Never lend money to one unless you don't care about recovering a penny of it.
Riding the Mint Mobile 3 months for $20 gravy train until it derails!
Newbie
Nov 5, 2018
20 posts
17 upvotes
Once you lend money to a friend, you are no longer friends; You transform that relationship into creditor and debtor. Never makes sense!

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