Personal Finance

Lost $700k in romance scam :(

  • Last Updated:
  • Feb 13th, 2019 3:56 pm
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Dec 27, 2009
6584 posts
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Ottawa, ON
Techiedude wrote:
Jan 23rd, 2019 3:46 pm
My exact thought, it went on for awhile, no one keeps there mouth shut for that long about something,
I could quite easily keep my mouth shut about something for years. There are things my daughter (and nobody else for that matter) will ever know about me and my life. What do you mean, nobody could? Dad kept it hidden - probably the sensible part of his brain knew on some level that anyone "outside" of the "love match" would be suspicious of the situation - even though he knew for sure it was true love (gag).
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Sep 24, 2018
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Chickinvic wrote:
Jan 24th, 2019 11:49 am
I could quite easily keep my mouth shut about something for years. There are things my daughter (and nobody else for that matter) will ever know about me and my life. What do you mean, nobody could? Dad kept it hidden - probably the sensible part of his brain knew on some level that anyone "outside" of the "love match" would be suspicious of the situation - even though he knew for sure it was true love (gag).
Men vs Women in this case, a woman secrets are like vaults with no doors, hidden at the center of the earth....under miles of magma. Men on the other hand, after a few beer share their PIN numbers and Credit Cards :)
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Dec 27, 2009
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Techiedude wrote:
Jan 24th, 2019 12:04 pm
Men vs Women in this case, a woman secrets are like vaults with no doors, hidden at the center of the earth....under miles of magma. Men on the other hand, after a few beer share their PIN numbers and Credit Cards :)
Haha!
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Oct 21, 2005
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London
hmm, the dad passed away and wondered how the son know about this ...:

"She coached Robert to tell bank employees that he was wiring the money to a family member, and to keep their relationship secret, saying she wanted to surprise his friends with him when she returned to Canada."

Either bad editorial (likely the case), or something is not quite adding up. Of course the son would be upset. I would. That would have been his beefy inheritance.
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Sep 24, 2018
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Chickinvic wrote:
Jan 24th, 2019 12:07 pm
Haha!
Didn't mean to sound sexist btw, but in all seriousness, women vs men in the secrets category, guys are terrible liars, always get caught, period. Women hold a special plaque to me for their ability to hold things in.
bfoot wrote:
Jan 24th, 2019 12:09 pm
hmm, the dad passed away and wondered how the son know about this ...:

"She coached Robert to tell bank employees that he was wiring the money to a family member, and to keep their relationship secret, saying she wanted to surprise his friends with him when she returned to Canada."

Either bad editorial (likely the case), or something is not quite adding up. Of course the son would be upset. I would. That would have been his beefy inheritance.
Yeah but the father had no obligation to give it :P be upset, but should have been a better son. I know my dad dated a lot of women after his divorce with my mom but he always said "no set of t**ts will get my kids money". To me, the dad wasnt close with his kids, hence why he reached out to some stranger over the internet, if people have a close family whom they all get along, that doesnt happen and as I said, the guys on the news making his dad look like an idiot........I WOULD NOT publicly soil my fathers name, period. The kid deserves nothing and i hope all he ends up with are bills.
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Feb 1, 2018
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Montréal
Seems to be an awful lot of victim-blaming in this thread.

These scamsters are professionals. They prey on vulnerable people at low periods of their life. They're experts in manipulation.

Imagine how you would feel if you lost both your parents in a short space of time, only to discover your father had been targeted by a scam to the tune of $700k before he passed?

People blaming the son for not having a good enough relationship with his father need to learn a little compassion.
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seriesofcontradictions wrote:
Jan 24th, 2019 1:13 pm
Seems to be an awful lot of victim-blaming in this thread.

These scamsters are professionals. They prey on vulnerable people at low periods of their life. They're experts in manipulation.

Imagine how you would feel if you lost both your parents in a short space of time, only to discover your father had been targeted by a scam to the tune of $700k before he passed?

People blaming the son for not having a good enough relationship with his father need to learn a little compassion.
So you blame the bank? Scammed i mean were not talking about someone showing up on your door step level stuff here, were talking about someone, over the internet. Trust me I feel bad for the father, but what made the father feel that this lack of physical anything, over the internet was that important? Anyone can message anyone and ask for money, if someone did that to you and you decided to send money back well it's hard to proclaim "you've been scammed" when you made a personal judgement call to send someone money, as I said, people join cults, people give income to their church, people donate money, someone somewhere is making that logical decision to give up something of theirs to someone else.

There's millions of these stories, its not like adding an extra one brings anything to light (Except the amount is higher than most), but the father seemingly gave up everything he had for a stranger vs thinking about his own kids. For all you know, he knew he was dying and his decision to eliminate his money was his choice, why do most people donate money? To feel better about themselves, he did this because obviously it brought him some sort of happiness, we cant explain it, some people like S&M, some folks give away money, some people like yogurt while others like ice cream....the guy just sounds like a bitter p***k who wanted his fathers money, didn't get it and nows hoping for something for free, well our parents purpose ISNT for US to gain, its up to our parents to do what they want with their money, I to this day, haven't spent a dime of my inheritance from my dad on a single personal item.....invested it all and left it, collects interest, someday my kids i hope do the same :P self expecting pos people out there is all i can say (Parents die WHERES my money).

BTW if my dad gave away, drank or BURNED his money, it was his business, Id be missing my father, not looking for his money, thats just a pos scum bag imo, my dads business what he did with it, not a nickle of mine
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Feb 1, 2018
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Montréal
Techiedude wrote:
Jan 24th, 2019 1:30 pm
So you blame the bank?
No, I never said I blame the bank. I said stop throwing stones at the son. He's grieving and upset and it's understandable.

I blame the scammers. Unfortunately, the chances of them being caught or prosecuted are slim to none, and even if they were, some other scam ring would just take their place.
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Sep 24, 2018
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seriesofcontradictions wrote:
Jan 24th, 2019 1:34 pm
No, I never said I blame the bank. I said stop throwing stones at the son. He's grieving and upset and it's understandable.

I blame the scammers. Unfortunately, the chances of them being caught or prosecuted are slim to none, and even if they were, some other scam ring would just take their place.
I blame no one, as I said, whats the difference if that dad joined the Church of Scientology and decided to leave all his money to them, same s**t different pile, the dad knew he was dying, his choice to me sounded like "im giving it all away before I die and not leaving it to my kids".

Grieving over money he didn't inherit over "losing his dad", I lost mine, I work with folks that's lost theirs, I never once recall ANY of them even getting to the banks for a month or two, this guy was on the new in a week, tells me he REALLY wanted "something" and to figure it all out to such accuracy DURING the grieving process. The guy seems more upset about "NO FREE MONEY" vs "MY DAD DIED" thats my issue with it. As I said, I knew my dad wasn't poor but I never asked him about money till a day I got a call "So yeah we need to discuss your dads accounts" my response for about 2 months over these calls "F off and call me after I've had time to grieve". Then again, I'm not some scum bag rat trying to find scraps, made it on my own in life and don't look forward to people dying so I can pocket from it.

I agree though, probably no chance, it will keep happening, I feel bad for the dad in that case, then again if I found out I was dying of cancer Id be finding ways to sneak myself on a rocket to the ISS or Mars lol :D
Sr. Member
Feb 1, 2018
806 posts
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Montréal
But saying that it was someone's CHOICE to be scammed out of $700k ignores the very real predatory psychology behind these scams. The dad was a victim of this, surely as he would have been if he'd been taken in by Bernie Madoff, or a cult, or an IRS scam.

It's your opinion that the son cared more about the money than he did about his father. I don't have any basis to determine whether that's true or not, but I can definitely imagine a scenario where this is just how his grief is expressing itself.

All I'm saying is, people need to stop acting so smug and realize that scams can target anyone. And it's not the fault, or the informed choice, of the victims.
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Mar 21, 2010
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Techiedude wrote:
Jan 24th, 2019 12:22 pm
Yeah but the father had no obligation to give it :P be upset, but should have been a better son. I know my dad dated a lot of women after his divorce with my mom but he always said "no set of t**ts will get my kids money". To me, the dad wasnt close with his kids, hence why he reached out to some stranger over the internet, if people have a close family whom they all get along, that doesnt happen and as I said, the guys on the news making his dad look like an idiot........I WOULD NOT publicly soil my fathers name, period. The kid deserves nothing and i hope all he ends up with are bills.
I agree that the dad has no obligation to give money to anyone. But I don't think the fact that they're not close (which really, is just an assumption we're making) makes the kid a bad son, or the dad a bad father. It's not even necessarily bad at all.

Personally I think it's natural to not want to see someone get scammed whether you're very close to them or not. Speaking personally, I'd be very angry if my dad lost all his money to a scammer. I wouldn't be angry at all if he said he was going to spend his remaining years on luxury cruises until all his disposable savings were gone, or if he just decided to leave it all to charity or whatever else. Sure, there's possibly some self-interest from the son's perspective, but the counterpoint is maybe he's angry that his dad could have spent his hard earned money on things that he actually enjoyed, and now that can never be remedied. I think that's just as valid if we're throwing scenarios around.

Without knowing whether the dad knew the truth and legitimately enjoyed having a pretend online girlfriend (totally possible), or whether he was scammed or even blackmailed (also totally possible), or something in between, I don't think we can really say much other than that at least from my perspective, it seems reasonable to be angry that someone you knew gave a lot of money to a fake internet person.
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Manatus wrote:
Jan 24th, 2019 1:56 pm
I agree that the dad has no obligation to give money to anyone. But I don't think the fact that they're not close (which really, is just an assumption we're making) makes the kid a bad son, or the dad a bad father. It's not even necessarily bad at all.

Personally I think it's natural to not want to see someone get scammed whether you're very close to them or not. Speaking personally, I'd be very angry if my dad lost all his money to a scammer. I wouldn't be angry at all if he said he was going to spend his remaining years on luxury cruises until all his disposable savings were gone, or if he just decided to leave it all to charity or whatever else. Sure, there's possibly some self-interest from the son's perspective, but the counterpoint is maybe he's angry that his dad could have spent his hard earned money on things that he actually enjoyed, and now that can never be remedied. I think that's just as valid if we're throwing scenarios around.

Without knowing whether the dad knew the truth and legitimately enjoyed having a pretend online girlfriend (totally possible), or whether he was scammed or even blackmailed (also totally possible), or something in between, I don't think we can really say much other than that at least from my perspective, it seems reasonable to be angry that someone you knew gave a lot of money to a fake internet person.
I agree with that. We don’t know what went through the dads head but we’re leaving out, this was a screen name and he didn’t give a few thousand. Any woman could convince a desperate guy to do this, there’s more to it, as the amounts....the guy gave away a fortune, not a few thousand. So he was either mentally unfit or it’s what he felt his money was best for. I mean you say cruises, my dad liked watching tv, hated people, hated heat, liked drinking beer :P the guy had the money, and didn’t do those things so we know that wasn’t his priority

Edit - and as I said, The son went looking for money and figuring the story out awful fast for someone who I would think is grieving.
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May 22, 2003
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We don't know what was going through the father's head. In his mind, he probably wasn't thinking it was a scam, and actually thought that he was "helping" someone in need. I hope it at least gave him a sense of fulfillment (even if it was false). He knew he was dying, maybe he was looking to feel needed for his last few months alive? Try googling "findomme", there are people who will literally give away money (sometimes thousands!) to someone because they enjoy feeling financially dominated!
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Sep 24, 2018
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notenoughsleep wrote:
Jan 24th, 2019 2:38 pm
We don't know what was going through the father's head. In his mind, he probably wasn't thinking it was a scam, and actually thought that he was "helping" someone in need. I hope it at least gave him a sense of fulfillment (even if it was false). He knew he was dying, maybe he was looking to feel needed for his last few months alive? Try googling "findomme", there are people who will literally give away money (sometimes thousands!) to someone because they enjoy feeling financially dominated!
This is my thinking.

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