Parenting & Family

not able to provide the best for your kids....

  • Last Updated:
  • Jun 27th, 2017 2:49 pm
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Sr. Member
Jan 27, 2015
845 posts
288 upvotes
Edmonton, AB
Helloworld232 wrote:
Apr 19th, 2016 3:13 am
Thank you for all the replies. I understand what you mean by just loving your child and being there for them. We have no problem being with our child.. playing catch, going to the park,etc(thats not the problem). The thing is, there is only so much the child can expose to from these activities when comparing to ... let say.. an trip in Europe.

lets put it this way:

Family day at the near park < Family trip in Disneyland
Going to the Public local Library < sending your kids to private school
Watching your kids playing hockey with a well organized team-driven environment < watching your kids playing the swing with some random kids at your local park
I think it's your mentality that drives your feelings.

For me, having quality time with the kids is more important than the actual cost of a trip. I'm sure any kid would love to have a fun family trip with involved parents, whether it's at a local park or at Disney.

Public local libraries are a FUN place for almost any kid. They get to interact with other kids and you, as a parent, interact with other like-minded parents.

Don't over-think it. Just be there as a parent for your child and you'll be immensely happy.
Member
Aug 7, 2014
277 posts
73 upvotes
Helloworld232 wrote:
Apr 17th, 2016 8:50 am
Basically you are at stage where you can only afford to provide basic needs (Food, shelter) for your kids, any kind of expensive luxury is out of the question(oversea trip, expensive sport activity,etc).

Any parents out there experiencing something similar? do you feel like you are bad parents? what do you tell yourself/mentality to overcome this?
I do find that providing the best for your kids - as you said " any kind of expensive luxury (oversea trip, expensive sport activity,etc). - is over rated.

I was born dirt poor, and I was on my own immediately after high school. My two kids had the best I could financially provide and dreamed I had these luxuries when I was young: oversea vacations, overseas student exchanges, expensive sports activities, piano lessons, cars, 4 yrs out-of-town university education expenses paid for by me, etc.

I do find that they did not put much effort for things they do, and they thought they are entitled to many things in life with little effort on their part.

If I could do it all over again, I would provide less to them and require them to be more independent & responsible when young.

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Give a person a fish, he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, he will eat for life. - Lao Tzu
Sr. Member
Nov 13, 2013
601 posts
206 upvotes
psudolam wrote:
May 14th, 2017 8:58 pm
I do find that providing the best for your kids - as you said " any kind of expensive luxury (oversea trip, expensive sport activity,etc). - is over rated.

I was born dirt poor, and I was on my own immediately after high school. My two kids had the best I could financially provide and dreamed I had these luxuries when I was young: oversea vacations, overseas student exchanges, expensive sports activities, piano lessons, cars, 4 yrs out-of-town university education expenses paid for by me, etc.

I do find that they did not put much effort for things they do, and they thought they are entitled to many things in life with little effort on their part.

If I could do it all over again, I would provide less to them and require them to be more independent & responsible when young.

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Give a person a fish, he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, he will eat for life. - Lao Tzu
This is always my biggest worry as a parent. I never worry about not giving them enough. I don't think you can spoil them with lessons or even overseas trips as kids don't really appreciate how lucky they are to do these things. I think the day to day always getting what they want are more damaging in my opinion.

Cars and paying for university are along the same lines but I think there personalities are already formed by then so it probably doesn't do much damage. People say that students who have to pay for part of their education appreciate it more but I never really noticed that when I was in school.
Newbie
Jun 11, 2010
72 posts
16 upvotes
Halifax
The pas few years has changed drastically for me financially but it's made me realize that there is a lot to do without having lots of money. We'll take the kids to the museum, or g0 to the asian grocery and try new foods. Make something different for dinner and look up where the food came from and culture and stuff. You can expose your kids to a lot without leaving your area.
Jr. Member
Dec 23, 2008
157 posts
71 upvotes
Toronto
fogetmylogin wrote:
May 3rd, 2017 3:01 pm
This is an old thread I know but I can't believe this post only had one upvote. Very inspirational story and well written and I hope the bump allows some more people to read it.
Oh I didn't see this response. Thank you stranger :)

These are exciting times! So far I have brought my mother to Orlando (we are Disney nuts), a Cruise and we are staying in Times Square for 3 nights this week. Much like with my children, I get more excited about my mother's reaction than the actual vacation. I'm looking forward to seeing her reaction when we leave the hotel in Times Square at 11pm and she notices that it's as bright as day. Haha!

Have a good one folks!

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