Parenting & Family

Is parenting going to suck forever?

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  • Jan 10th, 2018 12:13 am
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Deal Addict
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Jun 24, 2015
1730 posts
287 upvotes
Woodbridge, ON
Shaner wrote:
Dec 27th, 2017 3:19 pm
I felt the same way when my little guy was very young. Considering I'm the father, I clearly didn't have PPD. We had a very high needs, difficult baby. Breastfeeding didn't work, bottles didn't go well, solids didn't go well, there was 7 weeks of colic, etc. It truly was a nightmare for the first year. I told numerous friends that I wondered if I was even cut out to be a parent. Then things changed. He developed more of a personality. He become more like a person and less like a helpless leach (if I can be blunt about it). The first year of his life all I wanted to do was go to work. Staying home made me miserable. Now, I can't wait to leave work and see him and spend time with him.

The stuff I'm saying sounds bad and a lot of parents could never understand what I describe, but it was my reality. I've realized that I didn't enjoy the infant stage at all and as a person, I wasn't cut out for it. As a result, I don't want a second child because I can't imagine going through the infant stage again. For me, it got 100 times better. Of course there are still challenges, and there are frustrations. Those will never go away, they will always be there, but I absolutely cherish spending time with my son now. Perhaps you're just one of those parents who isn't cut out for the infant stage. Or perhaps you're dealing with PPD. Or maybe it's combination of different factors. Either way, you should go speak with someone. What you're feeling isn't abnormal though
Well Spoken like a true Parent, A+ for you, Great Story, Glad it worked out in the end. I hope other people admire your dedication.
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May 8, 2009
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Surprised that OP hasn't responded to her own post. Many have contributed great insight to a first time newborn parent, would be great to see what OP thinks now that the thread kick-started a while ago...
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Deal Guru
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Mar 31, 2008
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Toronto
titaniumtux wrote:
Jan 9th, 2018 3:20 am
Surprised that OP hasn't responded to her own post. Many have contributed great insight to a first time newborn parent, would be great to see what OP thinks now that the thread kick-started a while ago...
OP probably posted at time of maximum frustration and may barely even remember posting (remember it like a dream). IMO, either things have gotten worse, so more isolated, exhausted or it has gotten more stabilized and comfortable so no need to even go back online and check. I have a hunch it's the latter.
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Mar 31, 2008
10123 posts
1471 upvotes
Toronto
Shaner wrote:
Dec 27th, 2017 3:19 pm
The stuff I'm saying sounds bad and a lot of parents could never understand what I describe, but it was my reality. I've realized that I didn't enjoy the infant stage at all and as a person, I wasn't cut out for it. As a result, I don't want a second child because I can't imagine going through the infant stage again. For me, it got 100 times better. Of course there are still challenges, and there are frustrations. Those will never go away, they will always be there, but I absolutely cherish spending time with my son now. Perhaps you're just one of those parents who isn't cut out for the infant stage. Or perhaps you're dealing with PPD. Or maybe it's combination of different factors. Either way, you should go speak with someone. What you're feeling isn't abnormal though
Being in more dense Toronto, and in the peer group all having kids, My wife is also the type to have many of those types of friendships with other moms, where she knows all the details of others experiences. I have heard many cases like this and believe me, it is far more common than you think. I dare say about 50% have similar type experiences. So don't feel any different or guilty at all. And believe me, alot of people put on that brave, best face and do not spill the beans or give the very "G" rated version of "Its rough but getting better". Another big thing, having marital adjustment issues or requiring 'the talk' regarding expectations/disappointments of each other is also 100% I would say but very few will actually say how bad it may have gotten.

My wife's sister is also not cut out for the infant stage whereas my wife is, yet they're very similar in personality with differences of course. So as with every person, each person is wired different (of course socializaton plays a big role, but it's still rooted in how one is genetically wired on how that socializaton impacted them).

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