Pearl Harbor Homework.. Revisited

[N1QUE24]

As you might've remembered, I posted a topic on my Pearl Harbor research not too long ago for feedback and suggestions.. now I'm actually going ahead to write it.. but before I do, I need to know whether my thesis is effective enough and if it holds some weight.. my teacher told me my previous thesis was unclear

Old Thesis:
On the morning of Dec. 7th 1941, the Japanese Navy initiated a surprise attack on Pearl Harbor. Japan should be condemned for their unprovoked actions on the United States, a country that remained neutral and wanted no part of WW2.

New Thesis:
Japan's actions in WW2 were blasphemous. They seeked world dominance and masked their true intentions. They bombed Pearl Harbor and ultimately dragged America into WW2. Their actions were unjust and showed the whole world that the country of Japan was only interested in expanding their colony, not for the interest of peace.

I know my argument is weak as hell.. I ran out of ideas.. my head is hurting

ANY HELP WOULD BE APPRECIATED

[atforum]

Did not US sell arms to the allied forces even before they officially entered the war

Edit: You say america wanted to be neutral. I am sure that was not the case. Even though they did not formally announce a war, the ppl and govt was more towards helping the allied forces.

[atforum]

"Their actions were unjust and showed the whole world that the country of Japan was only interested in expanding their colony, not for the interest of peace."

This is a weak statement. Almost all European countries including US were interested in explanding their imperialistic influence. They were exchanging countries within themselves as if they were exchanged a hoard of sheeps. They Allied forces wanted to keep their colonies intact, while the axis wanted to get control of more colonies and also conquer the european and american countries. The later part caused the problem. I am sure if Hitler and japanese were attacking african colonies WII would have been averted. Both were not intersted in the welfare of the rest of the world. The allied were a little bad compared to the inhuman nazis

[N1QUE24]

thanks for the help!

Right now.. I just need a good thesis so I can start my f'n essay that's due on Tuesday.. I just want to start it and I dont know how without a good thesis

If anyone has msn and wants to talk Pearl Harbor (yay!).. pm me

[atforum]

thanks for the help!

Right now.. I just need a good thesis so I can start my f'n essay that's due on Tuesday.. I just want to start it and I dont know how without a good thesis

what is the title of the thesis??

[N1QUE24]

It could be anything really.. I just need to show Japan in a dark light

[N1QUE24]

I just need a thesis that preferrably centralizes around these points:

1. Japan believed that it was their destiny to rule the Pacific so in turn, they annexed it.
2. The Japanese thought of themselves, the people as the master race and that one day they would dominate the world.

[atforum]

1. Japan believed that it was their destiny to rule the Pacific so in turn, they annexed it.

You are wrong. I quote from WIKI the real reason why japan attacked them

The intent of the attack was to protect Japan's move into Singapore and the Dutch East Indies, executed to secure her access to natural resources (mainly oil), by preventing intervention by the U.S. Pacific Fleet (in the fashion predicted by war plans on both sides);[2] the Japanese Navy high command was certain any attack on British colonies would inevitably bring the U.S. into the war.

Japanese thought of themselves, the people as the master race and that one day they would dominate the world.

Yes this is a reason for their blind nationalism

[N1QUE24]

Umm.. werent the Japanese and America involved in conflict pre-WW2? Japan attacked China and massacred hundreds of thousands of Chinese in an attempt to further expand their colony and as a result, America stepped in and slapped embargoes on Japan thus weakening their economy..

Japan was stuck between a rock and a hard place.. and this was forced to bomb Pearl Harbor as a sign of retaliation..

I mean.. that's what I heard

[atforum]

Umm.. werent the Japanese and America involved in conflict pre-WW2? Japan attacked China and massacred hundreds of thousands of Chinese in an attempt to further expand their colony and as a result, America stepped in and slapped embargoes on Japan thus weakening their economy..

I donno much about that.

[N1QUE24]

nvm, i just checked my research notes.. u are right in a way

Japan thought by attacking America, they would be down and out paving the way for an uninterrupted attack on Great Britain (or wherever).. America had other plans though and declared for war.. completely blindsiding the Japanese..

[IronMac]

Japan thought by attacking America, they would be down and out paving the way for an uninterrupted attack on Great Britain (or wherever).. America had other plans though and declared for war.. completely blindsiding the Japanese..

The Japanese knew that there was no way that the US could be down and out for more than a few months. Yamamoto (author of the Japanese strategy especially with regards to Pearl Harbor) knew that because he did attend school and travel through the US. What they wanted to do was to drive the US to sue for peace or show the US that they could not prevail in the Pacific without significant loss of men and materiel.

This is due tomorrow?!

[bionicbadger]

New Thesis:
Japan's actions in WW2 were blasphemous. They seeked world dominance and masked their true intentions. They bombed Pearl Harbor and ultimately dragged America into WW2. Their actions were unjust and showed the whole world that the country of Japan was only interested in expanding their colony, not for the interest of peace.

its not "seeked", its "sought"

[danfromwaterloo]

New Thesis:
Japan's actions in WW2 were blasphemous. They seeked world dominance and masked their true intentions. They bombed Pearl Harbor and ultimately dragged America into WW2. Their actions were unjust and showed the whole world that the country of Japan was only interested in expanding their colony, not for the interest of peace.

1. Do not use blasphemous. Its dead wrong. To blaspheme means to do something to insult God. Use something less religious in context - like "outrageous" or "overagressive" or even "arrogant".

2. Find a new phrasing of the third sentence. Duplicating how a sentence starts twice in a row ("They") shows poor vocabulary and grammar.

3. Don't say they were interested in expanding their colony, but rather, expanding their empire. Japan was an empire, and it sounds more "evil" if you say empire than colony.

4. "not for the interest of peace" sounds awkward. Revisit.

[Valek]

The best advice I can give you would be to sit down (again if necessary) with your teacher/professor and ask exactly what he or she wants in the essay. Was there a grading ruberik as well? Usually re-reading your requirements and then going over your work helps *a lot*. If you've already sat down with your teacher and still have problems (as with most essays), try working out a good Essay Outline/Plan first and see if your thesis can be supported by your points (briefly). If not, you have a weak thesis. Keep on doing this until you can fully support your thesis with points. I've written enough history essays (History major) to tell you that this method really helps out a lot. If you really want to wow your teacher, provide background information for pretty much everything and assume the reader knows absolutely nothing, aka "why".

Example:
Thesis: Japan took advantage of the fledgling Leage of Nations (Invasion into China).

Point 1: Provide context: What was happening during this time? Appeasement for Germany, the League couldn't do what it was made to do.

Point 2: Why Japan made the decision to invade.

Yada yada etc. Mind you its a really bad example as I don't know exactly what your assignment is. But if you provide *context* for EVERYTHING and make a good outline first, you're bound to do good. Remember to source everything: citationmachine.net and also, keep the outline handy to hand in with your essay, to show the teacher that you actually planned everything out. It might help improve your mark as the teacher wants you to gain and apply the skills to the paper. I hope this helps.

Edit: Though wikipedia is a hotbed for information, remember ANYONE can put information on there so do not rely on the details. It's good to use if you just want the whole gist of it, but that's about it.