• Last Updated:
  • Mar 27th, 2017 9:34 pm
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Jr. Member
Aug 5, 2008
150 posts
91 upvotes
Her family shouldn't treating her like that ESPECIALLY if she has Post-Partum.
Deal Addict
May 22, 2003
2299 posts
1047 upvotes
Vancouver
I strongly suggest you guys see a couples counsellor. IMHO, going straight to separation/divorce without seeking a professional's help first is not a good idea, especially now that you have a child together.
Deal Addict
Aug 19, 2013
2394 posts
974 upvotes
Evil Baby wrote:
Mar 1st, 2017 6:37 pm
Gosh, this is going to come across as incredibly rude but I'm just going to throw this out there. Are you sure you're not suffering from Post Partum Disorder?

I mean, I have zero idea who you are as a person or who your husband is, but I can't imagine for the life of me of a father willing to walk away from his 15 day old child, especially after trying to conceive for 5 years. That just does not add up to me at all.

That being said, the two of you should go speak with professionals, especially before you decide to separate.
She may be suffering from some sort of postpartum depression. But that's even more reason as to why the grandparents need to leave if they are making things worse
Deal Expert
User avatar
Mar 18, 2005
16624 posts
1039 upvotes
Niagara Falls
Momof3cuties wrote:
Mar 3rd, 2017 11:15 am
She may be suffering from some sort of postpartum depression. But that's even more reason as to why the grandparents need to leave if they are making things worse
If what the OP is saying is true, then yes, they should not be there. My fear is, OP is seeing things in a much different light because OP might be suffering from postpartum depression. I still can't imagine a scenario where a father who has tried for 5 years finally has a child and is willing to walk away after 15 days. Something does not seem right about that and we are only hearing 1 side of the story.

Really, the only advice that should be followed here, is to go see a professional.
Sr. Member
Mar 19, 2015
627 posts
120 upvotes
Canada
Why not ask them to leave earlier?

If they stay, just pretend that you are listening to their advice or complaints and nod your ahead a lot.

They are probably of a culture which COMPLAINS AND CRITICISES A LOT / NON-STOP.

You can accept this and grin and bear it.

Maybe they do have some good advice.

Also, they are old and old people can be annoying (dementia???).

Unfortunately, you married a wimp (Mama's boy).
Surely, you must have noticed this before you married him.

Being a single mom is hard.
Sr. Member
Jun 11, 2004
769 posts
39 upvotes
TrevorK wrote:
Feb 24th, 2017 2:27 pm
I do not think that either you or your husband are in a position to realistically talk about separation if you have a 15 day old child. I would wait until you have both recovered a little more (emotionally) from the birth of your wonderful child which you worked so hard for over 5 years, before making any sort of life altering decisions.

I would personally recommend that you contact your provincial health services department to ask about what resources they have for new mothers. They should be able to provide you with professionals that you can talk to about what you are feeling and help you gain clarity on the situation.
Can't agree more.

Currently father of a 6 weeks old and 19 month.... first few weeks are very hard with the new born in terms of adjusting, especially if it is your first.

You both are exhausted and cranky.
Sr. Member
Mar 19, 2015
627 posts
120 upvotes
Canada
Be grateful if the grandparents or grandma is willing to change diapers, cook and clean.

Just sit back & let them do the work.

If their cooking is bad, you can eat other things like bread, desserts, ice cream, cereal and yogurt, fruits, muffins, salad, chips, etc etc.

You can go out, go shopping, eat in restaurants, go to botanical gardens, the zoo, art gallery, museum, sleep, watch tv, etc.

Or the grandparents can go out, drive themselves to places or the husband can drive to places, shopping mall, supermarket, restaurant, etc.

If they wake up at a certain time, you can wake up much earlier and you will have the kitchen to yourself.

Sit and hold your baby while listening to music.

Two month visit will go by fast.

When they leave and go back home, you should thank them and give them a gift. Something useful.
Deal Addict
User avatar
Dec 27, 2009
3436 posts
1355 upvotes
Ottawa, ON
Do not make these kinds of rash decisions when you have childbirth hormones raging through your system. Seriously? You just had a kid. Give things time to calm down. You will almost certainly regret making a permanent decision about your marriage at this point. You just had a baby! This is also a tough adjustment time for men too, lots of change, lots going on. Give it a chance.
Deal Fanatic
Oct 7, 2010
7911 posts
727 upvotes
Husband here. Parents interfere with my wife. I told my parents to GTFO of my house :).

In the meantime, it might be hormone imbalance talking/depression talking. Some women have this during pregnancy before and after.
Sr. Member
Jan 16, 2007
621 posts
103 upvotes
Toronto
I don't know about other cultures, but this sounds like a typical Chinese family where everyone is expected to respect their elders, right or wrong.

I'm just glad my Chinese parents weren't the type to boss around us adults and actually did help alot with the baby and house work.

I do notice this trait with my wife's parents though and my wife's brother did get divorced/separated.
Deal Expert
User avatar
Jun 9, 2003
23383 posts
1101 upvotes
Markham, ON
Evil Baby wrote:
Mar 1st, 2017 6:37 pm
Gosh, this is going to come across as incredibly rude but I'm just going to throw this out there. Are you sure you're not suffering from Post Partum Disorder?
+1 and get off this forum. Get professional help. Not a bunch of random comments from strangers
Sr. Member
Jan 14, 2010
514 posts
102 upvotes
Strange thread, initial post suggests this is the mother posting, however OP history suggests ANDREWSWAP is the husband? Black Question Mark Ornament

Anyway, whoever this is, please get some psycho-social help that is very available to new parents (and or cultural communities). You're not even back to a normal human being yet at 15d post-partum... please don't make rash life decisions.

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