tacky wedding techniques

[mlc2000]

Ummm. Back from the dead?

Hey - its wedding season again!

[thelefteyeguy]

**QUOTE=dolphie a wedding is NOT a fundraiser.**

if this quote was directed to me...let me respond...i agreed that it is not a fundraiser....no point in directing it to me

**QUOTE=dolphie THAT is exactly what is wrong with people these days. If you can't afford to throw a 35K wedding, don't. Don't throw one anyways, then expect the guests to finance it.**


I got married with 300 people for under 10K. Evening wedding, midnight buffet and no dinner. I'd have LOVED to tell every single guest of mine that i only wanted money, but I wasn't going to be a cheesy, tactless ass. The problem is more people forget their manners...one person sees another doing it and thinks it's okay. then the chain of arseholness goes on and on.[/QUOTE]

Are you non asian? well I am asian and it is tradition to have a dinner at night (i.e. prime time) ~ to not have a dinner at night is a slapped to the face of every relative you have as an asian. It is also a slap to the face of your parents. For asians, the dinner is the pinnacle of the wedding where you celebrate with your family. In fact this tradition is not only instilled in asian weddings but also european tradition.

There are many ways of communicating to your friends that you prefer a monetary gift. For example, you can on your invitation card have a small note on the bottom that states you prefer a monetary gift so you don't have the communicate this issue after the present is purchased (like the situation on the initial post). I have seen the note before and it didnt look tacky at all.

btw i think the point is if you can't afford a wedding and you have lots of family and friends...you have 2 options: elope or just don't have a wedding.

btw...most wedding (asian) couples know that they will be losing money on their wedding...they don't expect their weddings to be "financed", I prefer the phrase "supplemented"

[Absolute]

Hey - its wedding season again!

True, already been to one so far, although they only had a gift registry, no requests for money.

[dolphie]

There are many ways of communicating to your friends that you prefer a monetary gift.

you're right....but there's no way in the world to do it without looking like money hungry wedding fundraisers....it's called tact.

Are you non asian? well I am asian and it is tradition to have a dinner at night (i.e. prime time) ~ to not have a dinner at night is a slapped to the face of every relative you have as an asian.

right again. i'm not asian. Maybe it's something about my white culture that makes my family understand i can't go into bankruptcy to pay for them to eat at my wedding. Again though...i don't think it's culture...i think it's tact.
my mom would rather eat a hamburger and fries knowing it wasn't putting me at financial unrest, than the lobster if she knew i couldn't afford it.

[mochachicka]

but we were BOTH invited to the other fundraisers (ie. jack and jill "fundraiser" etc).

um..what's a "jack and jill fundraiser"?

[thelefteyeguy]

yeah i've heard of ppl contributing to a honeymoon fund but not a jack and jill fundraiser

[Rogue_77]

um..what's a "jack and jill fundraiser"?

Another name for Stag & Doe party

[UrbanPoet]

you're right....but there's no way in the world to do it without looking like money hungry wedding fundraisers....it's called tact.


right again. i'm not asian. Maybe it's something about my white culture that makes my family understand i can't go into bankruptcy to pay for them to eat at my wedding. Again though...i don't think it's culture...i think it's tact.
my mom would rather eat a hamburger and fries knowing it wasn't putting me at financial unrest, than the lobster if she knew i couldn't afford it.

haha burger and fries... silly infidel Americans!

[gabng]

Hey - its wedding season again!

yep, after 2 years, it's finally wedding season again, lol