Theory of letting a baby cry. Why?

[nelsonmp5]

New parent here.
What's the latest theory about letting a baby cry.
I've heard to not let newborns get to that hard cry but the little eh eh stuff and little cries are ok.

[Whiplash7828]

in my opinion it all depends on the age and the situation. If it's the middle of the night go see them immediately...if you just left the room after feeding them you can wait it out...My rule of thumb was if I knew it was nothing urgent, I'd wait 10 minutes. If he was still crying I'd go see.

You'll learn your baby's patterns in no time.

The older he/she gets the easier it will be for you to differentiate the "need" cry from the "want" cry.

my 2 cents

[BlueMax]

Sensible advice above.


I really don't like the idea of "teaching baby independence" at only a few months... baby can't fathom such a concept, only "I need comforting". Any cry that goes on for very long is more than a "brush-off". Letting baby cry for hours because you want to "train" it to sleep all night is downright cruel.

(I know that statement is going to anger the parents who DID subscribe to that method... noone likes being called "wrong".)

[thelefteyeguy]

we let our baby cry it out at 6 months...prior to that we attended her immediately.

letting her cry it out has successfully allowed us to sleep thru the night 5 out of 7 nights on average...(ie baby has 10-11 hours of sleep thru the night)

[mrsenator]

May want to look at


Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child

or

No Cry Sleep Solution

Both available from Chapters/Indigo and elsewhere

[volan]

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child

That's the book I recommend.

I think that newborns should be attended to quickly. We let our kids cry after 5 months. By then they're a little bigger, a little heavier and at around that age they are mature enough to learn to them to sleep by themselves.

[getmail99]

There is no good reason to let your baby cry.

[gman]

There is no good reason to let your baby cry.

IMO, there are many good reason to let my babies cry. No, you should not let them cry for over 10 minutes. Just don't jump to them, the first moment they cry. Wait a short period especially you know you have just attended them. If they had a long sleep already, you should attend them because you probably need to change them or feed them.

1. crying a short period of time allows them to sleep better afterward. If you want to have a good night sleep, let them cry a bit.
2. crying is their nature. Consider that as an exercise. Just like anything, too much is always bad.
3. They won't cry for attention after a while.
4. Let them cry does not mean you should not check them out just don't let them to see you. If they stop crying suddenly, that is the time you should worry.


I have 2 daughters and I don't have these crying problem after 2 months. People may say you can't train baby that way but it worked for me and for people I know.

[getmail99]

1. crying a short period of time allows them to sleep better afterward.

any reference please?

If you want to have a good night sleep, let them cry a bit.

a good reason for you, not your baby.

2. crying is their nature. Consider that as an exercise.

any reference please?

3. They won't cry for attention after a while.

include adult.

4. Let them cry does not mean you should not check them out just don't let them to see you. If they stop crying suddenly, that is the time you should worry.

I would rather not let them cry in the first place.

[Whiplash7828]

There is no good reason to let your baby cry.

You don't have any children do you?

[3weddings]

IMO, there are many good reason to let my babies cry. No, you should not let them cry for over 10 minutes. Just don't jump to them, the first moment they cry. Wait a short period especially you know you have just attended them. If they had a long sleep already, you should attend them because you probably need to change them or feed them.

1. crying a short period of time allows them to sleep better afterward. If you want to have a good night sleep, let them cry a bit.
2. crying is their nature. Consider that as an exercise. Just like anything, too much is always bad.
3. They won't cry for attention after a while.
4. Let them cry does not mean you should not check them out just don't let them to see you. If they stop crying suddenly, that is the time you should worry.


I have 2 daughters and I don't have these crying problem after 2 months. People may say you can't train baby that way but it worked for me and for people I know.

Precisely why we did it. I'd like to add that all 3 of my dds exhibited the desire for independance at an early age because we didn't jump everytime they cried.

Remember there is crying and there is wailing.

There is also no right and wrong, it is what works for you and your partner and what you are comfortable with.

I absolutely loathe when sides are taken and one insists they are right even with snide comments such as

(I know that statement is going to anger the parents who DID subscribe to that method... noone likes being called "wrong".)

[Whiplash7828]

I'd like to add that all 3 of my dds exhibited the desire for independance at an early age because we didn't jump everytime they cried.

+1 for my son.

[mart242]

+1 for my son.

And I think that parents who always attend to their baby as soon as they cry will do the same later on when they get older. That makes for kids who think they are prince / princess and deserve everything / have everything.

Similar thing: when kids fall. The worst thing you can do is say "oooohhhh" with your eyes wide open, a scared look because the child will start crying as soon as he sees you like that. If you act like nothing happened and just say "are you all right", they'll sometimes cry (if it hurts) and the rest of the time you'll get "no, I hurt my <...>" or "yes, I'm ok". Much better than kids who cry with every little fall or accident.

[thelefteyeguy]

any reference please?
a good reason for you, not your baby.

any reference please?

include adult.

I would rather not let them cry in the first place.

references?

the references are from the experiences of parents.

after 6 months, my wife and I believe that we should let her cry a bit (ie 10-20max, first time was about 45mins)...now usually after 5-10mins...she goes to sleep on her own.

[knapper]

We did the let cry approach at about 6 months, and it should be noted that it was at the recommendation of our pediatrition friend. Since that time our daughter has been a great sleeper, and I personally believe there is a direct link. You can say I am an uncaring/unloving parent, but my daughter is a very happy kid and has never mentioned a week of hell from her past. Remember that crying is their only form of communication, it does not mean they are hurt or need something. Also, at 6 months there is no physical need for your child to wake up and eat at night. Learning to sooth themselves and sleep by themselves is a good thing.