*UPDATE* At what point do you go from dating to "exclusive"?

[spike1128]

So...I asked the question this weekend regarding exclusitivity and I got SHOT DOWN!!!

She said that I was way more into her than she was me and didn't want to commit to a long term relationship. She said there is not enough of a "spark" between us to make her commit. So we effectively "broke up" and would just be friends. I'm upset but I accept it. I leave and I go home and log into my online banking to look at my billions of dollars because it makes me feel better. She then texts me later on in the evening and asks if I want to come over. I go over because I have nothing else going on. We cuddle on the couch, just hanging out, we start kissing and that eventually led to sex, which was the best we have ever had at this point.

Now I'm confused. When I went over, it was like the events earlier on in the day never happened. WTF? Twilight Zone. I slept over that night. Next day, we go out again and spend the whole day together like a pretend couple. Ran some errands, hung out on the couch, joked, cuddled, kissed and all that other crap that normal new couples do.

At this point, I don't know what she wants, nor do I bring anything up. I'm not sure if this is a short term dating thing, an FWB thing or just dating with no roadmap as to what the future will bring (I'm pretty sure she doesn't want a future with me) This normally doesn't happen to me. I am usually the one that's aloof in relationships. Karma? Perhaps.

My dilemma is if I continue on with this, she will eventually hurt me. I know it. But I don't want to end this right now either because I'm crazy about her and there might be a chance of something more later on. I should just stick with Asian chicks and forget the white chicks. Asian chicks seem to have their isht together.

Goddamn it!!!!!!!!!!!! FACT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry Diggler, I can't help but to start rolling on the ground laughing.

My friend once told me he did exactly what you did. He get to play around and all that a lot of times. Next time they met, the girl give him the cold shoulder. That's how the local population deal with relationship. They don't exclusive anything. She knows you are into her more than she is into you, that's why she won't commit. The girl will be only into you more than you are into her, when she gets old and can't find anyone. Mark my word, if you break up with her and stayed friends. One day she would pick up the topic about commiting with you, but then it will be so many years after she hurt you. By then you will be over her already.

I don't see why it's a bad thing, you get to play around with someone. Meanwhile, you can look for another who you can commit to. Keep this girl as your backup for fun.

[boonjaca]

If it's clear that it's an FWB, then I can totally accept it. I Googled the definition of FWB, and most points it being an F-buddy. It seems like there's more to it than that. We like to hang out. We make plans to do things a week in advance. Not just a random 2:00am booty call. She wants me to meet her parents at some point. This is like a fake relationship. Maybe it's called "dating with no reasonable prospects of a future".

Wow, if she wants you to meet her parents then to me that's definitely not a booty call. Could be that she's afraid to call it a relationship in the event that it might jinx the way things are going now. I know some people that are like that, just go with it and don't question it again. Maybe things will work out for the better this way.

[iEyeCaptain]

Wow, if she wants you to meet her parents then to me that's definitely not a booty call. Could be that she's afraid to call it a relationship in the event that it might jinx the way things are going now. I know some people that are like that, just go with it and don't question it again. Maybe things will work out for the better this way.

I agree.

[diggler649]

Sorry Diggler, I can't help but to start rolling on the ground laughing.

My friend once told me he did exactly what you did. He get to play around and all that a lot of times. Next time they met, the girl give him the cold shoulder. That's how the local population deal with relationship. They don't exclusive anything. She knows you are into her more than she is into you, that's why she won't commit. The girl will be only into you more than you are into her, when she gets old and can't find anyone. Mark my word, if you break up with her and stayed friends. One day she would pick up the topic about commiting with you, but then it will be so many years after she hurt you. By then you will be over her already.

I don't see why it's a bad thing, you get to play around with someone. Meanwhile, you can look for another who you can commit to. Keep this girl as your backup for fun.

I just got out of a marriage and this is exactly what I wanted. For one year, I wanted an FWB. No committment. Just sex. Move on. But this girl was different and made me want more. I am open to meeting others but I know I would probably still end up gravitating back to her.

Wow, if she wants you to meet her parents then to me that's definitely not a booty call. Could be that she's afraid to call it a relationship in the event that it might jinx the way things are going now. I know some people that are like that, just go with it and don't question it again. Maybe things will work out for the better this way.

I think what she wants is to take it day-by-day without labelling what we have right now. I'm sure if she met some other dude down the road, she'll give me the boot. But she also says that she has a connection with me that she has never felt with anyone else before. And that it's crazy because she's only known me for a month, but she would be devastated if I was not in her life anymore. Not sure if this is BS.

[iEyeCaptain]

Real talk:

Hope for the best, be ready for the worst.

Good luck, billionaire.

[Mr.Sea]

Doesn't seem like a FWB situation to me based on everything you're doing together, sounds like you're dating even though she denies it. Tell her you've met someone and interested in her to see what she says.

You must be a girl.

If there was no sex involved, I would probably run like hell. But little head is overpowering big head at the moment. She also left the door open for something possible down the road, but I know that's BS talk.

Fine, you're getting something out of it. But she got to dictate the terms. I would advise you to assert yourself a little bit more, so you resemble more of a man. Thats what women are looking for at the end of the day. Someone to boss them around like their fathers did when they were younger.

[Russell]

This thread is awesome.

I wish I had a woman who wanted to use me for my penis and my company.

[Phantom]

Does this person know that you are recently divorced? If so, then she knows she is your "rebound" relationship and it makes sense to be cautious before jumping too fast emotionally into a relationship with you. If a relationship is going to become more serious, inevitably she's going to want to know why your previous marriage ended (so the same thing doesn't happen with her), or if you've got financial commitments or baggage that is going to mess up this new relationship. Without knowing those things, better to keep you at arms' length. That's assuming, of course, that she's not bringing a whole bunch of baggage to the table herself.

[manixc]

You are the "back up". She will drop you like a brick when she finds someone better. Hit it while you can and hide your money.

[ultran00b]

Better go out and put a $888k ring on that. It doesn't guarantee exclusivity but at least you have a better chance brother.

[spike1128]

Better go out and put a $888k ring on that. It doesn't guarantee exclusivity but at least you have a better chance brother.

This only apply to Yao416 and Biee.

[RolandCouch]

Is this p.o.s. thread still going? Just go out with her and don't worry about 'labels/titles' and everything will work itself out.

[Nook]

Yes I have a picture of her. She is hot and I will not post on the internet. Lol.

PM it to me?

Also, why bother falling into a relationship and having to deal with all the stress + obligations? Just relax, keep hanging out and doing your thing. If she ever brings it up, only then bother entertaining the thought.

EDIT: Nevermind, you f'ed up.

[Royalsoldier]

I just read all 8 pages.

I've been in the same situation as you, however it was vice-versa

Not happy about my past decision - I've met my fair share of GOOD women, and at the time I lacked commitment. Now, I have no one and it has destroyed me inside.

I would recommend you look for someone while continuing the FWB if commitment is what you desire.

Dropping her immediately will only result in being depressed and alone until you can find "the one".

[renoldman]

Dating in 2012 is never exclusive.

It's all a business transaction.

If you have something she wants, she will likely give you what you want.

If you don't have ..... you will not get any.

No such thing as love anymore.

I think we should confirm it and put out a tombstone.

R.I.P. Exclusivity in Relationships and Love
Sometime after the creation of the world to 2008

I think the internet spread its demise, but ultimately I think its over.