Frats cost a lot of money, on top of the already high cost of attending elite schools. You're not Tiger Momming it properly if you are "letting" them choose their own university and letting him decide whether that cheque to the frat is worth it. You're new to the Bay Area though, a few more years there and you'll be mapping out his future at Stanford or Cal soon enough.peanutz wrote: ↑Aug 13th, 2017 3:51 amI wasn't saying that he said the label or identity was "useless", I was specifically disagreeing that it's mostly meaningless.
It's no more or less meaningless than any other generalized group identity, in my opinion. Let's say we broke down discussions into groups such as "The Koreans and Chinese" and "Indians and Pakistanis" and "Filipinos and Pacific Islanders"...you're still not going to be accurately reflecting each individual, or family, or community in each of these subgroups. You can do state identities, "Texans", or even go national, "Americans", or "young males", or "college students", you'll run into the same pitfalls and shortcomings of addressing every facet of every person who it might apply to. That doesn't make it meaningless, in my view.
a) I've been led to believe that not all initiation rituals are brutal. b) I'd hope that if I were to become a parent, by the time they've gone off to college I'd have taught them enough to make decently good decisions of their own. And that this is not a decision that comes down to me "letting" them. LOL
I wanted to add another thing...maybe this is splitting hairs but some racial (or gender, or group-identity-politics) discussions veer into uncomfortable territory for me because I think there is a fine distinction between individuals thinking of themselves as individuals who can belong to any multitude of generalized groups or broad labels...and individuals who define themselves by those labels.
We like to say that racism is wrong, or sexism, etc. because it's wrong to apply stereotypes to individuals, but people often label themselves, or build their identities around their group associations. I'm not sure if this is increasing due to contemporary aggressive identity-related sociopolitics, but it's definitely louder than I'm used to. I'm not completely on board with all aspects and permutations of it.
For example--the writer alludes to it--one of the accused reached out to him as an "Asian writer" and asked him to write something from "Asian perspective." But what the heck does that have to do with the members' gross negligence of a friend's medical situation? What is the "Asian perspective" on that?
Or, the "Black Lives Matter" movement vis-a-vis say, Affirmative Action debate. "Stop treating me badly by seeing me as a black person,", says one mission...yet the other debate involves grouping people into racial categories and giving certain unequal benefits out of it.
As for the "Asian perspective" in the news article, they might just be afraid of another Peter Liang incident (an Asian male taking the hit because the media just eviscerates him with no political movement to get behind them, unlike white police officers).
Not "all" aspects of society are open. The c-level executive suites are still closed off, especially in the tech sector where Asians are heavily under-represented despite their high % in non-executive positions. Law firm partnerships are rare. Media and Hollywood representation for Asian males is low. You're taking a very naive view of things if you think your race doesn't play a role in how people view you.Piro21 wrote: ↑Aug 14th, 2017 12:09 pmI find the concept of the 'model minority' to be a good thing to aspire to, but it's hardly an indication of how we should act. Trying to 'find an identity' as described in this article just seems to be code for 'develop a stereotype you think you should live by'. That's foolish. It shows that the people who seek that 'identity' still see themselves as the 'other' inside while complaining about exactly that on the outside. We are no different from anyone else here, which means that all aspects of this society are open to us. The only thing that says we need to act one specific way is the law, just like in the countries all our families came from, and that means we can do anything we want within the law just like any other citizen here.
Identity has to do with a lot of things. It's tough for an Asian to grow up thinking he can be an NBA player when there aren't any Asian NBA players (Jeremy Lin has talked about this). You're afraid to go into acting if you've never seen an Asian American actor successful in Hollywood as a romantic male lead, a role non-Asians play frequently (there's an entire RFD thread about this).
The thing is, it's not necessarily how you view your identity either or whether you choose to live up to a stereotype. A lot of it is how others perceive you, which is why problems like the bamboo ceiling exists. You can act like and believe you're executive material all you want, but if the board doesn't think Asians make good leaders, then you're out of luck.
I'm At The W, But I Can't Meet You In The Lobby, Girl I Gotta Watch My Back, Cuz I'm Not Just Anybody, I Seen Em' Stand In Line, Just To Get Beside Her, That's When We Disappear, You Need GPS To Find Her, Oh That Was Your Girl? I Thought I Recognized Her."