Where do you draw the line? When do you consider cheating... cheating?

[mech9t5]

Not looking for advice, just want to see where people's opinions lie.

I have a friend, let's say Jane (not me), who has been dating a guy (also not me) for a couple years and according to her it has been going great. She goes on vacation with a group of her girlfriends (girls only trip) and meets a group of guys (on a guys only trip) and they all hang out for the whole vacation. Turns out they are all from the same city.

When Jane gets back, she texts one guy from the group, let's say Vacay Guy (not me either), every day till the wee hours of the morning. They also plan a few outings with the same group of people (clubs). During these outings, Jane and Vacay Guy are together most of the night. They didn't do anything except hold hands. But, the other people at the outing commented that they thought Jane and Vacay Guy were making out because they were talking so closely. They would be out till 5 or 6am talking and holding hands/sitting close.

These outings happened over the next 2 weeks since getting back from vacation and during those 2 weeks, Jane avoided seeing the boyfriend with various excuses.

Do you consider this cheating?

I'd like to hear your view point and also would like to know if you are female or male. It would be interesting to see if there is a difference in the genders.

Also, there are a few players here.
1. Vacay Guy - what do you think of him? what would you do if you were vacay guy and you knew Jane had a bf? what if you didn't know she had a bf?
2. Jane - what do you think of her?
3. the girlfriends - would you encourage your friend to go out with these guys (back home)?
4. the boyfriend - if you were the boyfriend what would you do?

[legendofxix]

So Sally contacts Vacay Guy, talks for hours on end, then Vacay Guy spends whole night with Jane?

[mech9t5]

So Sally contacts Vacay Guy, talks for hours on end, then Vacay Guy spends whole night with Jane?

yes. at least 2 times in 2 weeks since coming back.


I corrected... Sally/Jane is the same. I confused my fake names.

[Stock R]

Emotionally cheating. Physically no, although the lines are starting to blur here. I wouldn't be holding any girls hand aside from Mrs Stock.

[mech9t5]

Emotionally cheating. Physically no, although the lines are starting to blur here. I wouldn't be holding any girls hand aside from Mrs Stock.

yes. that's the question... I suspect people who say no, means they don't consider emotional cheating...cheating...

[d182]

repost - see below!

[d182]

Edit: Male - Cheating

Personally: If I found out, I'd feel like I was betrayed/cheated on. And it would hurt...a lot if I cared about the girl.

1. Vacay Guy - what do you think of him? what would you do if you were vacay guy and you knew Jane had a bf? what if you didn't know she had a bf?

Some guys like the challenge if they know she's taken. I don't think you should knowingly chase someone you know who's taken but to each their own. If he didn't know she was taken, and thinks there's a chance for something more, she's toying with him too.

2. Jane - what do you think of her?

Needs to dump the current boyfriend instead of stringing him along.

3. the girlfriends - would you encourage your friend to go out with these guys (back home)?

n/a

4. the boyfriend - if you were the boyfriend what would you do?

Dump her (assuming I found out)

[Tharnax]

Do you consider this cheating?

Nope, not as you described, however, it's odd but holding hands and spending time together isn't cheating. However, I'm guessing there is a lot more to the "vacation" story that you and the other non-participants in the vacation aren't aware of that likely would be considered cheating. Since, we don't know all the details what has been presented isn't cheating. My $.02.

[mech9t5]

Nope, not as you described, however, it's odd but holding hands and spending time together isn't cheating. However, I'm guessing there is a lot more to the "vacation" story that you and the other non-participants in the vacation aren't aware of that likely would be considered cheating. Since, we don't know all the details what has been presented isn't cheating. My $.02.

quite possible more happened that I am not aware of. But as it stands with the info presented, that's all I can say are facts.

Thanks for your opinion.

[vaportech]

if it was just for physical enjoyment i don't see a big issue, but it is an issue nonetheless.

if it was emotional, like they start developing feelings for each other then yes, that would be considered cheating imo.

[Simaahoy]

How is the guy cheating lol, he is not in a relationship.

The girl is clearly a cheater and avoiding her boyfriend after she comes back into town just makes this more complicating.

[Kohanz]

The real question should be: Would anyone in the boyfriend's situation have no problem with this?

[peanutz]

Girl is cheating and in my opinion as bad as or worse than having a one night stand she forgets about. Shadyyyyyy

[spintheblackcircle]

Ummm... She is obviously cheating. Both emotionally and physically.

- Making excuses not to see her boyfriend and hanging out with this dude?
- "Holding hands"? Really? Unless he is gay, this is physical cheating. I don't know any women in relationships who handhold with guys they just met. Holding hands in public is rather intimate. They have obviously done other physical stuff. Do you hold hands with female friends chronically in public? I didn't think so...
- Communicating until all hours of the morning is emotional.

Again, unless he is gay (and if he is, why the covertness?), she is cheating.

[d182]

[QUOTE=spintheblackcircle;14878708] Ummm... She is obviously cheating. Both emotionally and physically.

- Making excuses not to see her boyfriend and hanging out with this dude?
- "Holding hands"? Really? Unless he is gay, this is physical cheating. I don't know any women in relationships who handhold with guys they just met. Holding hands in public is rather intimate. They have obviously done other physical stuff. Do you hold hands with female friends chronically in public? I didn't think so...
- Communicating until all hours of the morning is emotional.

Again, unless he is gay (and if he is, why the covertness?), she is cheating. [ /QUOTE]

Bang on. Those "excuses" are borderline lying straight to his face.

Girl is cheating and in my opinion as bad as or worse than having a one night stand she forgets about. Shadyyyyyy

Said girl would never forget a one night stand with me