Who does not want to have children?

[Xtreme2001]

I ponder this question all the time.

Even with my last gf I thought to myself 'I think i'd like to have kids', but for all the wrong reasons. My ex would always say she wanted them before 30, so 5 years away. Maybe I felt pressured. I would comment that it is quite difficult to even think that far ahead because anything could happen.

Alot of happily married and miserable couples always say 'you'll grow to want one'.. but i'm having a hard time too. I work in the health care field and I deal with children ALL the time and for the most part, there is no feeling there. Maybe i'm selfish and want to live my life? Sure that could be a big part, another is that maybe I haven't met 'the one' to make me feel content with myself and settle and have children.


So what's your reason?

[vrus]

I wouldn't mind if the girl I'm with doesn't want em. I guess it's not a big priority to me when I think about it. I'm 21, so I don't know if I'll change my mind down the road.

[rc51]

I've never thought I'd want kids..and that thought process still stands true.

Been married now for 15 years..my wife originally wanted kids...but considering she wanted a career too and as many degrees she could earn...it wouldn't have been fair to the kids or us. I'm sure there's still a part of her that still wants kids, but when you are working 60 hours a week, doing your MBA, and travel a good 30% of the time for the job...would it really be fair to a child? We think not. We also don't live in a city with any familly and haven't done so in 10 years or so...and probably never will again, so it makes it tougher. And on top of that we have no idea where we're gonna be, we're very mobile with just the 2 of us...if she was offered a posting to Europe, South America, depending on the circumstances, we're gone in a heart beat...can't really be that spontaneous when you have kids.

[Junk Food Junkie]

I don't, I think I've always known. If it happens, so be it, but no plans.

[The_dream2k]

Speaking for guys, its harder to "want" children, but the first time you hear their heartbeat or the first time you see them, that when you will know that you want a child..

I dont have one yet

[sexpuppet6000]

i want kids.

[drucillica]

me0kat doesn't.

[i6s1]

I didn't really think that I wanted kids, and now I'm an uncle. Now I know that I don't want kids.

It's cause I'm selfish and I don't want to spend the time or money that kids cost.

[Nikita]

Maybe i'm selfish and want to live my life? Sure that could be a big part, another is that maybe I haven't met 'the one' to make me feel content with myself and settle and have children.


So what's your reason?

I didn't really think that I wanted kids, and now I'm an uncle. Now I know that I don't want kids.

It's cause I'm selfish and I don't want to spend the time or money that kids cost.

I've never seen my decision to not have children as selfish. In fact, I believe that if you recognize that your lifestyle wouldn't be great for kids, or you wouldn't be a great parent (cuz not everyone does), it's in fact very selfLESS to recognize that and not have them.

[gman]

I did not want any kid. I am very happy that I do not get what I want.

[sexpuppet6000]

so far it seems like most people here dont want kids.
or the ones who want kids or have kids haven't spoken up.

[i6s1]

I've never seen my decision to not have children as selfish. In fact, I believe that if you recognize that your lifestyle wouldn't be great for kids, or you wouldn't be a great parent (cuz not everyone does), it's in fact very selfLESS to recognize that and not have them.

But in my case, it's not because of lifestyle or lack of confidence in parenting skills, it's because I don't want to devote time or energy to someone else. You might not be selfish, but I am. Really.

[Feneant]

so far it seems like most people here dont want kids.
or the ones who want kids or have kids haven't spoken up.

Well, the question was who does not want kids so it might have kept some away.

For myself, I don't think I want any because it is an entirely new lifestyle to adopt for at least 18 years and with the way society stands, it probably would be a very longggg 18 years.

[mart242]

Speaking for guys, its harder to "want" children, but the first time you hear their heartbeat or the first time you see them, that when you will know that you want a child..

That sums it up pretty well.

I'm not sure that there are many mature adults (ie: no prego teenagers but folks 25 years old +) who say "I wish I did not have kids. I hate the ones I have".

[Bazooka Joe]

I'm in a similar boat. I see all those kids out there who turn out horribly and wonder what makes me any better a parent than those people.

However, if I ever got serious with a woman that really wants them, I would consider it.