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Why would she give me her # if she didn't want to chat?

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  • Dec 30th, 2012 8:13 pm
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Deal Addict
Jun 11, 2010
1195 posts
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Why would she give me her # if she didn't want to chat?

I'm in a bit of a curious spot right now. A waitress who works at a local restaurant where my band plays, and who I've had quite a few flirtations and conversations with, gave me her number on Thursday night. I didn't exactly ask for it either, I simply said, "How is it that we're not at least Facebook friends?" and she explained that she isn't into Facebook and instead said I could text her. I then gave her my phone and she put her digits in. Seems complicit enough on her end.

So I didn't text her that night because I was busy, but the following evening I simply said, "Hey xxx, this is xxxx, hope your evening is going well" and got no reply. I didn't fret too much, figuring it was Friday night, maybe she was working or was busy. Well when I didn't get a text back today, I figure she's either ignoring me or maybe something is up with her phone. I don't think she gave me the wrong number because we see each other a couple times a week, and I know enough of her friends that I think that would be a pretty stupid/awkward move on her part.

So anyways, I texted her again today saying, "Hey, just seeing if I have the right # and not texting into the void" hoping that she would at least have the decency to say, 'sorry been busy' or something. Still no response. So now I'm feeling pretty stupid for putting myself out there, getting what I thought was a positive cue, and being left to fall flat on my face.

Now I'm probably going to see her tomorrow and I will pretend like it's nothing (like a man) but inside I will be holding in my disappointment.

Can anyone think why a girl might do this?
259 replies
Member
Jan 20, 2011
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she gave her phone number to multiple guys, she only talks to her top 3 guys for quick lays
Sr. Member
Jul 7, 2005
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vaportrails wrote:
Dec 22nd, 2012 2:15 pm
Thanks everyone. Super helpful so far.
haha, man... if she doesn't reply then forget it about it. nothing to mull over.
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Nov 11, 2004
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Your first mistake was leaving a comment in your first text. You should always end your texts with a question to promote reciprocation. "hey hope your evening is going well" does NOT constitute a reply. Your second and even bigger mistake was coming across desperate with your "Hey, just seeing if I got the right number and not texting into the void". That just screams desperation and probably a turn off for her. You can pretend to be "like a man" all you want, but that's all you can really do - is pretend to be 'like' one.

EDIT: plus it's the weekend, she could just be busy.
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Jul 19, 2012
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it's only been a day, since she didn't respond back to your text

give it until the weekend is over, if you don't hear back.... move on!
[OP]
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Jun 11, 2010
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Well that's the thing, we see each other at minimum, twice a week. It's going to make for some pretty awkward standoffs to endure if she insists on hanging me out to dry like this. Is she going to avoid taking my drink order tomorrow, or send another waitress to do it? That seems unnecessary, all things considered.

I can think of a million better ways to handle this, where we can still be friends. Nothing has been established at this point. She can handle it any number of ways.
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Jan 27, 2004
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It happens... Even after they give you their number. If you got her # I'm sure you could get others.
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so maybe she'll respond back to you in person

or she could be put off, that you didn't ask for a date

your text seemed "open- ended"

a women likes a man with a plan.
[OP]
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Cafe_333 wrote:
Dec 22nd, 2012 2:27 pm
Your first mistake was leaving a comment in your first text. You should always end your texts with a question to promote reciprocation. "hey hope your evening is going well" does NOT constitute a reply. Your second and even bigger mistake was coming across desperate with your "Hey, just seeing if I got the right number and not texting into the void". That just screams desperation and probably a total turn off for her. You can pretend to be "like a man" all you want, but we already know that's all you can do - is pretend to be 'like' one.
Really, so because I didn't ask a question in my first text, it's game over? Are the laws of attraction so fickle that the future of two people hinges on whether a question is stated or implied? Also, I don't think my 2nd text was at all desperate. At this point, before we have exchanged a single text, it's perfectly reasonable to send a text making sure that the information is correct.

As for why you're insulting me, I have no idea.
[OP]
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bluenose2 wrote:
Dec 22nd, 2012 2:35 pm
so maybe she'll respond back to you in person

or she could be put off, that you didn't ask for a date

your text seemed "open- ended"

a women likes a man with a plan.
I agree, but can't I even get warmed up a bit? Do I have to rush in cold, saying, "Meet me here at 9pm on Saturday"? Can't we feel each other out a bit first over text?
UrbanPoet wrote:
It happens... Even after they give you their number. If you got her # I'm sure you could get others.
I'm sure I could too, but I'm pretty selective about these things. I have gone months without interest in anyone. It takes a special type of person to put me in this state.
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Feb 19, 2004
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oh man, your second text just makes everything much much worse
insert witty comment
[OP]
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manixc wrote:
Dec 22nd, 2012 2:44 pm
oh man, your second text just makes everything much much worse
Explain..
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