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Why would she give me her # if she didn't want to chat?

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  • Dec 30th, 2012 8:13 pm
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Deal Addict
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Jul 19, 2012
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vaportrails wrote:
Dec 22nd, 2012 2:42 pm
I agree, but can't I even get warmed up a bit? Do I have to rush in cold, saying, "Meet me here at 9pm on Saturday"? Can't we feel each other out a bit first over text?



I'm sure I could too, but I'm pretty selective about these things. I have gone months without interest in anyone. It takes a special type of person to put me in this state.
right! you have to get a feel for her first

just wait till you see her in person and see how she is with you

it's only been a day

you're getting way over your head :D
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Feb 10, 2010
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manixc wrote:
Dec 22nd, 2012 2:44 pm
oh man, your second text just makes everything much much worse
+1
U screw up with that second lame txt....looking desperate. Plus there are many reasons why she didnt txt you back specially on this busy season, you should relax and be patience and wait for her to reply.

Advice video for you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TmsrIjNgric
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May 2, 2010
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GTA
I had something similar happen...

I sent a message (not a question either). I didn't get a reponse. After 2 days, I stopped worrying about it and moved on. Then exactly 1 week after the first message, I finally get a response. Though she didn't acknowldge the long wait at all. I ended up finding out from her friend that her cousin died, so I'm assuming she was busy with grief/funeral stuff for that week.
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vaportrails wrote:
Dec 22nd, 2012 2:39 pm
Really, so because I didn't ask a question in my first text, it's game over? Are the laws of attraction so fickle that the future of two people hinges on whether a question is stated or implied? Also, I don't think my 2nd text was at all desperate. At this point, before we have exchanged a single text, it's perfectly reasonable to send a text making sure that the information is correct. As for why you're insulting me, I have no idea.
I never said it was game over in your first text - I was saying you shouldn't have been expecting a reply nor wait around for one when it never constituted a reply in the first place. However it doesn't change the fact that you came across as desperate in your 2nd text - and as you can see others have pointed this out too. No I was not insulting you, I was just calling it out like it is. An alpha male wouldn't have cared and just moved on. The fact you had to reach out to her with that 2nd text and then create a thread about it is very beta. Keep telling yourself how manly that looked - you can keep pretending, but you're not fooling anyone but yourself.

To be clear, I meant you can keep pretending to look manly to her. But it's already too late because you already came across as desperate. That's not me trying to insult you, i'm saying you shot yourself in the foot.
Innovatively Silent. :cool:
[OP]
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Jun 11, 2010
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A desperate 2nd text would be to simply try to start a conversation like the 1st text didn't happen.

My 2nd text was exploiting the reasonable doubt that we are connecting at all. For example, if next we met and she thought I didn't text her, I'd like to at least be able to say that I made an effort.

Sorry, but I think people are just trying to get a rise out of me by saying my 2nd text sounded desperate. Such is the internet. I'm able to put the shoe on the other foot and if someone came to me with a similar situation, I wouldn't think twice about them sending a 'confirmation of receipt' text. The carriers can be weird sometimes. I'm not into games. If she wasn't interested, I assume she would have figured it out before giving me her number.

I think maybe you want me to be an insecure beta male, so you are trying to terrorize me with doubt. Not going to work. Even if I didn't send the 2nd text, you seem like the type of person who would look for some weakness to exploit in my post. I'm sure you would have found it regardless. You seem negative like that. I'm sure when you first read this post you got all excited about the prospect of ruining somebody's day.
[OP]
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Jun 11, 2010
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You also have to understand that there's a 100% chance I'm going to see and interact with her again. This creates a much increased expectation of reciprocity, if only to avoid awkwardness. It's not like I'm desperate to make contact because I'll never see her again. I'm not really in a position to look desperate. If I was, I wouldn't have send a 2nd text at all.
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Dec 15, 2011
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Your text messages to her didn't call for any action on her part. Maybe she doesn't like "chating" via texting. I would just ignore the texting thing and ask her out next time you see her.
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Apr 15, 2011
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aGincourt
It wouldn't have been that bad if you didn't send that 2nd text, damn
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vaportrails wrote:
Dec 22nd, 2012 3:23 pm
My 2nd text was exploiting the reasonable doubt that we are connecting at all. For example, if next we met and she thought I didn't text her, I'd like to at least be able to say that I made an effort.
She TYPED her number into your phone, what kind of reasonable doubt could there be? If you can't see how insecure it sounds to ask a girl "hey, just seeing if I got the right number", then I can't help you.
vaportrails wrote:
Dec 22nd, 2012 3:23 pm
A desperate 2nd text would be to simply try to start a conversation like the 1st text didn't happen.
Wrong. Your 2nd text screamed of insecurity because she didn't reply you and based by your own admission, you were insecure because she didn't: "I texted her again today hoping that she would at least have the decency to say, 'sorry been busy' or something.... but still no response."
vaportrails wrote:
Dec 22nd, 2012 3:23 pm
Sorry, but I think people are just trying to get a rise out of me by saying my 2nd text sounded desperate. Such is the internet.
You might have a point if only I thought this. But clearly others see this as well. Yet you seem to find it difficult to accept the truth. Yeah... it must be some kind of conspiracy theory that we're all out to get you.
vaportrails wrote:
Dec 22nd, 2012 3:23 pm
Sorry, but I'm not into games. If she wasn't interested, I assume she would have figured it out before giving me her number.
The debate here isn't whether she was interested in you to begin with. What we can establish however is that you came across as desperate.
vaportrails wrote:
Dec 22nd, 2012 3:23 pm
I think maybe you want me to be an insecure beta male, so you are trying to terrorize me with doubt. Not going to work.
Like I said, you can keep pretending all you want, but the fact you made that 2nd text and then create a thread called "why would she give me her # if she didn't want to chat?", and the fact that you admitted how insecure you were, is already proof of how beta you are.
Innovatively Silent. :cool:
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Dec 12, 2010
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Her boyfriend probably deleted the texts.
[OP]
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Cafe_333 wrote:
Dec 22nd, 2012 3:51 pm
She TYPED her number into your phone, what kind of reasonable doubt could there be? If you can't see how pathetically insecure it sounds to ask a girl "hey, just seeing if I got the right number", then I can't help you.
If I'm insecure about anything, it's about her having to be awkward about things next time we see each other. Like I said already, I'm not in a position to look desperate. If I wanted to see her, I could at any time, since we both frequent the same establishment. I could see your point if this was a cold pickup at a bar, but the situation dynamic is different.
Like I said, you can keep pretending all you want, but the fact you made that 2nd text and then create a thread called "why would she give me her # if she didn't want to chat?" is already proof of how beta you are.
.. and this is the crux of it. You're making a character judgment based on much more information than she has. Sure, if she knew I made a post online about it, I would feel absolutely gutted - but I enjoy the anonymity of the internet and as a result, can function as if this post doesn't exist. I assumed (perhaps wrongly) that other people would recognize this before responding to the situation. Perhaps I gave you too much credit in expecting that you'd be objective and judge the situation, rather than my character.
[OP]
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Xpwmata wrote:
Dec 22nd, 2012 3:57 pm
Her boyfriend probably deleted the texts.
Finally, a reasonable hypothesis.
[OP]
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Jun 11, 2010
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Could people stop taking all of the information from this thread, and just base it off the OP?

I know you probably think that how I respond to conflict in this thread gives you valuable information to base a judgment on, but it really doesn't. Any extra information I'm giving (whether it's my attitude or response to your posts) is just muddying the waters. I really just need an objective analysis - based ONLY on information that she has, not information that you have.

I realize that it must be much more self-gratifying to respond to a situation where you are a stakeholder, vs. helping someone you don't know or care about, but this is what I am requesting.

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