Pets

7 months and still not over his death

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  • Jul 18th, 2021 8:58 am
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[OP]
Deal Addict
Dec 28, 2011
1071 posts
630 upvotes
Midland

7 months and still not over his death

I’m still struggling everyday with the death of my dog and I’m not even sure if this is normal to still grieve 7 months later.
11 replies
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Oct 2, 2018
1333 posts
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Toronto
Not unusual, at times it has taken me 2 years to finally come to terms and begin the process of moving on. Take things very slow there is no time table everyone is different, the closer the bond the longer it may take to turn that memory into a smile before that tear comes to your eye.
Youth is the gift of nature, age is a work of art.
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Jul 25, 2008
1320 posts
773 upvotes
Richmond Hill
I have things around the house that remind me of my dog, his photos/canvases are up, little statues that look like him, a special cubby hole with his urn, collar and other items on display, a memorial garden that I have outside where I place flowers and treats for him on his special occassions. He passed away in July 2019 but having these things around the house allows me to think that he's with me spiritually and following me around like he use to always do.

I also have another dog which helps too... (they were housemates, not best of buddies)
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Jul 4, 2009
1262 posts
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Mississauga area
Grief is such a personal thing, every one handles it differently. If it's been 7 months and you have trouble getting out of bed or doing your daily things because of your grief, then it's time to seek help.
If you mean every time you think of your dog, you tear up or feel sad, then that's normal. I feel like I cried every day for a month straight when my dog died. Then it was every other day and now I just sometimes get chocked up when I think about the things we use to do together. My dog was such an integral part of my life for the 12 years I've had her. My schedule was basically centered around her. She was my first dog and I've never had to care for any being like I did for her, so it made a huge impact.

What helped me lessen my grief was when I got another dog. I'm not saying that's what you need to do - just that grieving for a lost pet can be just as devastating as losing a human companion. It's ok and it's normal as long as it's not all encompassing and you're still able to function your daily life.
Deal Fanatic
Mar 21, 2010
6351 posts
3330 upvotes
Toronto
kittypink wrote: just that grieving for a lost pet can be just as devastating as losing a human companion
I agree, and OP, that's okay. He wasn't a 'thing' that you've 'lost'. He was your friend, and everything that means.
Sr. Member
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May 12, 2009
806 posts
358 upvotes
It's been more than 5 years since we lost our Kelpie and we miss her and still talk about her all the time. Your darling has taken a piece of your heart and it will take as long as it takes to get used to that.
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Feb 11, 2009
315 posts
106 upvotes
Vancouver, BC
I agree. Everyone grief differently.

When my first cat passed away from cancer at 13 years old, it took me a very long time to not cry when I think of him. He had a buddy that grew up with him and the 2 cats were ALWAYS together. So with my other cat around, I thought of the death of this cat A LOT. I love both cats but I really missed not only the cat that passed away but the bonds between the cat brothers.

I waited almost 2 years to adpot another cat and this one is different. He is my husband's cat. I got my 2 cats before I met him so those were MY cats.

In 2020 Jan, the other cat passed away at 21 years old. I was sad but I didn't feel as sad since I think the 2 buddies are now together. And he was pretty weak at 21 years old. I still miss him today. I may get a tattoo of him one day. (still not sure) He is always special to me.

My hubby's cat is almost 13 year old now. I am not sure if we will get another cat when he's gone... but who knows. May be he will live till 22 or 23. That's 10 years to go.
Deal Fanatic
May 14, 2009
6603 posts
1338 upvotes
Grief doesn’t have to have an end point after which you should be expected to be ‘over it’. Nothing you feel needs to follow a timeline or a sequence.

It’s so hard, I know Disappointed But Relieved Face. If you’re on Instagram, @refugeingrief is a great account to follow.
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Apr 25, 2011
1408 posts
1090 upvotes
British Columbia
I just lost my cat yesterday, I've lost other animals my whole life and never taken it this hard; this was more unexpected. He was a special cat - I actually tamed him from outdoors.

I and my family have had a lot of cats our whole life and none of us have had a cat like him, we all agree he was unique and just the best - played fetch, hide and seek, loved his toys and packed them everywhere yowling, wrestled with the dogs, so gentle that he never used his claws, bit or hissed, friendly with even unknown animals which is very unusual in a cat (they're territorial), very chatty with so many sweet chirping vocalizations, would jump on my lap for nail trims, and just so loving, he even had seperation anxiety... what a character. He was the closest you could get to a dog in a cat's body. And to think he used to be feral ... I'll always have a scar as a reminder when he bit through my oven mitt while I was taming him.

He was a member of my family. Some people don't understand that, but grief is a process for loved ones no matter what species they are, and everyone processes their loss differently. I have other animals in my house, including other cats, but they all pale in comparison. I totally had a favorite and don't ever expect to find a replacement. With time, I do expect to be able to look back on the fond memories and smile. I hope you're able to get to that point too.
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Jul 4, 2009
1262 posts
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Mississauga area
I'm so sorry for your loss Karala.
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Feb 11, 2009
315 posts
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Vancouver, BC
Karala wrote: I just lost my cat yesterday, I've lost other animals my whole life and never taken it this hard; this was more unexpected. He was a special cat - I actually tamed him from outdoors.

I and my family have had a lot of cats our whole life and none of us have had a cat like him, we all agree he was unique and just the best - played fetch, hide and seek, loved his toys and packed them everywhere yowling, wrestled with the dogs, so gentle that he never used his claws, bit or hissed, friendly with even unknown animals which is very unusual in a cat (they're territorial), very chatty with so many sweet chirping vocalizations, would jump on my lap for nail trims, and just so loving, he even had seperation anxiety... what a character. He was the closest you could get to a dog in a cat's body. And to think he used to be feral ... I'll always have a scar as a reminder when he bit through my oven mitt while I was taming him.

He was a member of my family. Some people don't understand that, but grief is a process for loved ones no matter what species they are, and everyone processes their loss differently. I have other animals in my house, including other cats, but they all pale in comparison. I totally had a favorite and don't ever expect to find a replacement. With time, I do expect to be able to look back on the fond memories and smile. I hope you're able to get to that point too.
so sorry for your lost. He sounds very speical.
:(
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Jul 19, 2012
1942 posts
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Canada
7 months is not a long time

you may always grieve but it gets better with time.

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