Parenting & Family

Dealing with bullies in jk and SK.

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Oct 16, 2018
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Toronto

Dealing with bullies in jk and SK.

My 5 year old has been getting bullied by a very aggressive jk. He has complained a few times of this kid hitting him and taking his markers etc. How do you parents deal with issues like this? I've arranged to speak to his teacher and principle. Your input will be greatly appreciated.
62 replies
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Nov 13, 2013
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Personally I think it is good to talk to your kid and give them strategies to deal with it themselves though if they are getting hurt intervention is needed. The school system should be good about physical bullying so your talk with the teacher should have them bring in the other kids parents and come down on the kid. Problem is in JK the other kid might not really care what his parents say and probably couldn't control himself if he could.

Bullying is a fact of life in elementary through high school so good for kids to learn to deal with it when young and relatively harmless.
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Dec 4, 2016
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It depends on the school. If it's a rough school and the teachers had their hands full of much worse problems, you are better off moving. If it's a good school, perhaps speak to the parents of the kid doing the bullying and speak to the teacher.
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Aug 22, 2011
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I am very lucky that I enrolled my kid early on in martial arts, as they focus heavily on bullying.
Walk away, yell STOP and if you are being physically harmed, defend yourself.
This has worked wonders, as my kid was involved in an incident on the bus and was able to push the "bully" out of the seat and moved away.
With that being said, continue to support your son, so that he does not feel alone.
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Jul 18, 2012
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I would talk to the teacher about it and have them talk to the other kids parents. Hopefully your son has a good teacher and is able to handle it properly and the other parents aren't jerks. Escalate to the principal if it continues or gets worse. 5 is too young to handle it by himself. When he gets older, he has to deal with it himself without mommy/daddy getting involved.
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Jul 18, 2012
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100% agree with putting him in martial arts. My son (he was 8 when he started) has been doing muay thai for almost a year and he loves it. We put him in it because of bullying. He wasn't getting picked on, but my daughter's friends kept asking him for help because kids were picking on them. He would go up to the bullies and get them to stop by talking to them. We were proud, but worried. He's on the smaller side and would have gotten the crap kicked out of him if they wanted to fight.
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Sep 24, 2006
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I don't mean to derail the thread but what type of martial arts do you recommend? I also want to enroll my kids but I'm confused between the various kinds.

Thank in advance
vkizzle wrote: I am very lucky that I enrolled my kid early on in martial arts, as they focus heavily on bullying.
Walk away, yell STOP and if you are being physically harmed, defend yourself.
This has worked wonders, as my kid was involved in an incident on the bus and was able to push the "bully" out of the seat and moved away.
With that being said, continue to support your son, so that he does not feel alone.
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Aug 22, 2011
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hank755 wrote: I don't mean to derail the thread but what type of martial arts do you recommend? I also want to enroll my kids but I'm confused between the various kinds.

Thank in advance
Karate seems to be more appropriate when starting off young, as it focuses on self defense (counter "attacks", block, push, scream and run etc...)
With that being said, the place of enrollment is key, a the Dojo where I send my kid teaches them discipline and more importantly to build self confidence.
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Jun 26, 2005
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Everyone's being super PC here. Talking to teacher, is useless. They also are bound by laws and can't do much. I know friends who are teachers.

If a kid doesn't stop, after all the talking by everyone's then talking more is useless.

If a kid hits your kid, tell your kid to hit back. Hit properly. Learn self defense. Physically bullies respond to nothing else. You know it, I know it. I know many co-workers who's high school kids were picked on and only after their retaliated, it stopped. Billy moved onto another victim.

Some bullies may change and stop bullying (unlikely), if not, they will continue, cause it's fun for them. So the only solution for your kid is force the bully to move onto another victim.

The only way is to fight back. So bully will move on.

The main reason a kid that age is a bully is because parents either do nothing, have bad parenting skills or they tried everything and it doesn't work. I've met all these examples.

Those kids will continue and grow up to be a big issue in high school. Get expelled later, other victims will get hurt.
Last edited by rfdrfd on Nov 15th, 2018 11:41 am, edited 1 time in total.
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rfdrfd wrote: Everyone's being super PC here. Talking to teacher, is useless. They also are bound by laws and can't do much. I know friends who are teachers.

If a kid doesn't stop, after all the talking by everyone's then talking more is useless.

If a kid hits your kid, tell your kid to hit back. Hit properly. Learn self defense. Physically bullies respond to nothing else. You know it, I know it. I know many co-workers who's high school kids were picked on and only after their retaliated, it stopped. Billy moved onto another victim.

Some bullies may change and stop bullying (unlikely), if not, they will continue, cause it's fun for them. So the only solution for your kid is force the bully to move onto another victim.

The only way is to fight back. So bully will move on.

The main reason a kid that age is a bully is because parents either do nothing, have bad parenting skills or they tried everything and it doesn't work. I've met all these examples.

Those kids will continue and grow up to be a big issue in high school. Get expelled later, other victims will get hurt.
Not all kids are physically strong enough to fight back. Joining a gang for protection would also not be ideal. If teachers don't do anything, perhaps moving and changing schools should be considered.
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BlueSolstice wrote: Not all kids are physically strong enough to fight back. Joining a gang for protection would also not be ideal. If teachers don't do anything, perhaps moving and changing schools should be considered.
Yes but we are talking JK and SK here. How BIG can the bully be.

How about the bully change school? As they say, if someone wants to hang themselves (like at work), then give them more rope. Meaning, if this kid wants to keep on hitting people, then cause him and his parents to need to go see the principal. Keep on doing this and eventually, he will get expelled.

IMO, hitting bully back is one sure way to get both parents to come see the principal. Then you ask the principal "so, yes I can tell my kid to not hit the bully, but what if bully keeps hitting my kid? What are you going to do about that?" Evnetually, that conversation will bring up expulsion.

I bet the bully won't stop...... expelled..

Also, if your kid is small, then all the more reason to learn proper martial arts. Small sized kids are much more likely to get picked on in their future.
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rfdrfd wrote: Yes but we are talking JK and SK here. How BIG can the bully be.

How about the bully change school? As they say, if someone wants to hang themselves (like at work), then give them more rope. Meaning, if this kid wants to keep on hitting people, then cause him and his parents to need to go see the principal. Keep on doing this and eventually, he will get expelled.

IMO, hitting bully back is one sure way to get both parents to come see the principal. Then you ask the principal "so, yes I can tell my kid to not hit the bully, but what if bully keeps hitting my kid? What are you going to do about that?" Evnetually, that conversation will bring up expulsion.

I bet the bully won't stop...... expelled..

Also, if your kid is small, then all the more reason to learn proper martial arts. Small sized kids are much more likely to get picked on in their future.
A school that tolerates bullies is a school with the wrong environment to raise a child. I'm more inclined to believe that my child is not the first one to be bullied, and the school admin has better things to do than to deal with bullies. Fighting back is a noble choice, as you're effectively trying to "fix" the school by teaching the bullying kid good morals. Personally, I'm too selfish to fix other people's children.
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Jul 30, 2003
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rfdrfd wrote: Yes but we are talking JK and SK here. How BIG can the bully be.

How about the bully change school? As they say, if someone wants to hang themselves (like at work), then give them more rope. Meaning, if this kid wants to keep on hitting people, then cause him and his parents to need to go see the principal. Keep on doing this and eventually, he will get expelled.

IMO, hitting bully back is one sure way to get both parents to come see the principal. Then you ask the principal "so, yes I can tell my kid to not hit the bully, but what if bully keeps hitting my kid? What are you going to do about that?" Evnetually, that conversation will bring up expulsion.

I bet the bully won't stop...... expelled..

Also, if your kid is small, then all the more reason to learn proper martial arts. Small sized kids are much more likely to get picked on in their future.
I don't think kids can be expelled for more than 2 weeks.
School will have to take him back in.
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School won't do shit!
Fight back or take it up with the bully's parents.
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Think of the Childre…
Teach your kid about kicking the family jewel when needed.

WOULD SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!
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Jul 18, 2012
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It doesn't seem like the teacher is taking it seriously. If they haven't seen anything serious, it's not a priority. OP, have you talked to the teacher about it and explained the situation? If you have and the teacher or school hasn't done anything, then it's unfortunately up to your kid to defend himself.
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Cheapo-Findo wrote: Teach your kid about kicking the family jewel when needed.
LOL
As funny as that sounds, 100% do not teach your kids to do that. Sooooo much lawsuits can come of that. Excessive force, harming sperm, potential progeny procreation loss..... I'd be suing for millions if someone kicked my son's family jewels

I'd teach my kids to do exactly what the other bully did to you. Equal and opposite force. Newton's law
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PrinceMS wrote: I don't think kids can be expelled for more than 2 weeks.
School will have to take him back in.
Useless Canadian school system. We are so weak. Back when I was a kid in Hong Kong, everyone respected teachers. They had power, if the teacher asks for a meeting with the parents, its a BAD thing, means your child was not behaving in school or marks are low. Parents are responsible to ensure children keep up the grades and behave. if you get called into the Principal's office, BIG issue. Expulsion is probably coming.
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Feb 10, 2006
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If your child has to deal with being bullied at such a young age, you must teach them to learn with coping mechanisms on how to deal with such situations. You need to instill in them self confidence and empower them stand up for themselves.

I would make sure to address it early, as you don't want your child to be exposed to it for so long that it could affect them. The positive side is that your child is at least telling you what they are experiencing. Keep at it.

To me moving away would send the wrong message to your child, you can't always run away from your problems in life. This is an opportunity to parent Smiling Face With Open Mouth
Sr. Member
Jun 11, 2006
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I think since it's happened several times, it's good to at least have a conversation with the teacher to see if she is aware of it.

Besides that, I would reiterate to your child that it is not ok to be treated like that and reassure him that it is ok to defend himself. You might want to give him useful things to say such as "Stop that" or "I don't like that" (in a loud voice) and maybe go through some scenarios with him about what he can do when/if it happens again.

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