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deciding about leaving a 50K 4 day remote job for a 80k+ 40 min commute 5 day job. looking for advice

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  • May 25th, 2021 5:25 pm
[OP]
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May 17, 2021
2 posts
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deciding about leaving a 50K 4 day remote job for a 80k+ 40 min commute 5 day job. looking for advice

UPDATE: I turned down the role and now actively looking only for WFH roles. Thank you all for your feedback. Im a long time lurker and this was my first post. It warms my heart that so many of you were willing to take time to share your advice. I appreciate everyone's feedback on the importance of Mental health as well as pushing me forward to the next step in my career. Im humbled by the comments and they helped me appreciate the privilege I have in my life, and it not to be taken for granted. It was a difficult decision, but I don't think I could do the drive in the end. I have struggled with mental health, and I think the stress of the commute would bleed into other aspects of my life and might limit our family's next step. Im lucky to have a extremely supportive partner who wants what I want for my career. If the job causes stress for me he rather I didnt take it (happy wife happy life). We live relatively frugal lives and we dont really need the money. My parents were working class immigrants so I was taught the value of a dollar so I big part of me wanted to take this and sock away the money. However I was in that pay band previously (and have a few big names on my resume) and feel I can easily go back to that range if I was willing to take on a bigger role. Today, I just applied to another WFH job in my industry in the 70K range. I feel the industry is changing and there will be more WFH roles coming. Im careful not to waste this opportunity, to enjoy the flexibility my current role gives me, while actively looking for a better opportunity with more stability.

The pregnancy comments made me laugh. Its something my dad would say because he wants more grandkids LOL

Im 32 with 10 years of experience in my industry (sales). Im currently making 50K a year, working 4 days a week. I also make commission but targets are so high, I haven't made it last year and will unlikely make it this year. I work remotely, however as covid passes, I will be required to make more client visits. I have been working remotely for the past 3 years, working for smaller companies and have really enjoyed the flexibility. However these past 3 years I've been making around 50K, while prior to this I was working at larger companies making 75K+. so I essentially taken a ~25K pay cut the last few years. I've had some interpersonal and mental health(anxiety and depression) issues in my roles at bigger companies. I think its a mixture of working in a high stress environment and needing to work with people in person (I dont really hide my emotions; something easier to do when working remotely). I got let go 3 times in my career but was always lucky to fin something shortly after. I think my industry has alot of turn over and I have good references.I just got a job offer, Im torn whether to take it or not. Its a more interesting job with potential to travel once covid is over, great learning experience and will open more doors in the future (more responsibility, new categories to sell). It is 80K a year plus ~10K bonus (discretionary). however It is 5 days a week and I require to commute by car for 40 mins each way. I've asked for remote work possibilities, they werent able to confirm either way but have tome me to consider it an office job for now to reduce resentment. They really prefer I go in to help with my learning. I've already negotiated the highest salary possible and vacation time and after a few back and forth, I think this is the best I can do with the company. I really resent driving and think of car usage as a money pit (prefer to cycle). I'v had another job that required a similar commute a few years ago, though it was great from my career ( it was a big company) I hated the commute aspect and it was a huge weight off my shoulders the day I sold my car. I've gotten into a minor car accident in the past. That being said, we do have a paid off car that my partner uses just for groceries and weekend trips, so the added cost would be adding me to insurance and gas. Its a relatively smaller company and the boss seems reasonable, so I dont think I'll face the same interpersonal stresses as I did previously.

My current company is a sinking ship. 4/5 people that work at company quit in the last 2 months.. There have been late payroll payments, money issues and owners mis-management (stock not arriving when promised) . I've been at the company for over a year and it has been frustrating to be proud of my work when the company does not have the product to sell (broken promises to customers about lead times). I have slowly accepted this by trying to be as transparent as possible to my clients and accepting this job as one that pays the bills and allows me the flexibility to work from home. Most people that left and including me dont see the company improving in the near future. That being said I really enjoy the remote working lifestyle and am largely independent in my work. I enjoy spending time with my cat and doing house chores through the work day. I feel guilty to admit I probably only spend about 3-4 hours working per day in my current role. I just had a performance review and there was no mention of raises. I really think it will take an alternative job offer to increase my current salary. Im not sure if they will move at all due to their current money constraints. I've asked for higher salary previously (ever since I started) but especially since Im not making targets, I didnt feel I have the leverage to push for more.

On a personal note, my spouse current contract is expiring next spring and is currently looking for a new role. He is in Medicine and current makes 175K and will likely make 225K+ in the next role. He is definitely the bread winner our relationship. We dont have kids but might in the next 2 years. There is a 70% chance that we will need to move cities for him to achieve this higher salary. So now Im thinking I really should only apply for remote jobs and will likely need to quit this new job within 6 months. The alternative would be for us to live in 2 cities temporarily. I dont think my current role will still want to keep me on in another city as most of our clients are in the city im living now.



Covid has been tough in my industry and there hasn't been alot of job posted, so I have guilt in turning this job down (what I sell is somewhat specialized). I really think I would enjoy this new role if it was remote and think it would be great for my career. However Im not sure Im ready to give up my remote lifestyle to drive 40 mins and working in a office 5 days a week. I've already done the math of current role 4 days a week vs new job 5 days + commuting. its $30 vs 30.7 and hour, so not much difference. Its a bit frustrating how little im making now, and part of me thinks I should just suck it up and do the commute /office time for the higher salary. I can always quit if my partner accepts a job of the city.



what would do you?



I know that was long so thank you so much for reading!
Last edited by RE962123223 on May 20th, 2021 9:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
30 replies
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Nov 30, 2007
285 posts
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Sounds like your current role allows you to be pretty lackadaisical and you're trying to find all the reasons not to take it. You don't seem to need or desire any financial aspects (outside of maybe financial independence?) as your spouse is the breadwinner by a large margin. If your spouse is in that salary range he should should no issue finding another position after his contract is up. Unless you were downsized I'm assuming the 3x you were let go was because of performance. What makes you think that it will be different this time?

Payroll delays and high staff turnover are a huge red flag for any company and under normal circumstances would be reason to leave but given your situation I don't think you need to worry as much. I would relish in the fact you have options and search for roles that allow you to work from home but potentially pay less. There doesn't seem to be a rush for you to make more and it also doesn't make sense if you're anticipating relocation to begin a new position that requires you to be at the office. You will likely need to quit and start all over again.
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Oct 16, 2013
236 posts
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Toronto, ON
This one is a personal decision given the substantial income difference between you both. Since your spouse makes that much more, it seems like the decision would weigh in his favour (career path).

The way I see, you have two options:-

- If your career is crucial to you (as you are young) and the new offer gives you a substantial boost, you can take the risk of accepting the offer knowing you'll have to move eventually. Usually, if a company really likes you and you're a superstar, they will accommodate remote work requests. We've done that quite a few times for a number of good employees—especially those in sales (BDRs especially since they make a lot of outbound calls). Either way, it seems like a sinking ship. The old because of mismanagement and the new because they may not accept your location change. So with this option, you take the one that gives you the better career growth (salary is not a factor given your calculation). If they don't accept the location change, then when you're interviewing for your next role, you can easily explain that you had to leave due to a change in life circumstances. The new company should give you a good reference since you left on good terms.

- If it really is about your spouse's income, then I'm not sure why you'd even consider the new opportunity given that the current one let you work remotely and may hopefully be around once it's time to move. And even if it closes shop before then, because of the high income your spouse makes, it sounds like you'll be okay and you can search for a new gig after you move.

In either option, just make sure you're saving for that rainy day!
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"If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That'll do them in."
Deal Fanatic
Feb 4, 2010
5124 posts
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Based on what you wrote I would take the job offer to get the experience and network. If/when your partner gets their next job and you have to leave, you can either ask your current employer for remote work or quit (on good terms). You seem to be able to find a job pretty quickly and money doesn't seem to be an issue given your partner's high income, so if it takes you a while to find your next job it's not a huge burden (or so it seems based on your post).

I already think you know the answer to your question but you need a kick in the butt lol.
Deal Fanatic
Mar 21, 2010
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I wouldn't take it. You're making $50k for 20 hours of (actual) work a week, rather than $80k for 41 hours a week (assuming 35 + 6 hours commute), as well as the additional costs (coffee, lunch, gas, car wear and tear) of commuting.

Clearly right now there are more important things to you than work and making money - which is fine, assuming your spouse is fine with it too. Yes your company sounds kind of bad, but it also sounds like you're likely not going to be there (or with the other company) for more than the short term anyway. That time horizon isn't long enough to learn, build a new network, all those things that the other job claims to offer. I would settle that part first, get more clarity around whether you will be moving, and then think again. The part about whether you will be moving to another city far outweighs the difference between the two jobs, in my opinion.
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Dec 27, 2009
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You clearly don't really need or want this new job, so don't take it. You have a pretty sweet deal with your current employer, and if they are going under then look for another remote opportunity. You are lucky enough to have a high income spouse, so don't sweat it over this one. Find a better opportunity, that still works for your life. Spending 40 minutes twice a day, 5 days a week commuting doesn't sound like a fit for you.
Deal Fanatic
Feb 4, 2010
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Interesting responses to stick with the deadend job just because it offers a higher rate/hour rather than join a company to develop new skills (especially people's skills in OP's case), gain experience, get out of comfort zone. If you want to go the lazy way, sure stay at your current job. But not everything has to be about more $$, which I suspect is the reason OP asked to begin with.

Also if they're having issues with late payroll, that's a red flag. You might be working for free.
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Dec 27, 2009
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hierophant wrote: Interesting responses to stick with the deadend job just because it offers a higher rate/hour rather than join a company to develop new skills (especially people's skills in OP's case), gain experience, get out of comfort zone. If you want to go the lazy way, sure stay at your current job. But not everything has to be about more $$, which I suspect is the reason OP asked to begin with.

Also if they're having issues with late payroll, that's a red flag. You might be working for free.
I was basing my advice because it is clear from OP's first post that this new opportunity is not what she wants to do (with the commute, 5 days in office, etc). Nobody really said to stick with current job long term. In OP's situation, making this move does not sound like the right fit. OP is not desperate and can afford the luxury to continue looking for a better situation as opposed to grabbing at something that is sure to make them unhappy.
Deal Guru
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Mar 23, 2008
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Chickinvic wrote: I was basing my advice because it is clear from OP's first post that this new opportunity is not what she wants to do (with the commute, 5 days in office, etc). Nobody really said to stick with current job long term. In OP's situation, making this move does not sound like the right fit. OP is not desperate and can afford the luxury to continue looking for a better situation as opposed to grabbing at something that is sure to make them unhappy.
I'm with this. The OP knows before even starting that the commute is going to be a sore spot, and at 1.5 hours per day, it's not a small issue. If it was someone I knew, I'd say hang in there at the current job until things are more finalized for the partner, and then figure out what to do then. The other option is to stick with their guns on the remote work with the prospective new company, even if it means taking a slightly lower salary. Got nothing to lose if they say no, as they can just stay with the current job. But at 70% likelihood of needing to move in 6 months, jumping to another company only to have to quit because of relocation isn't going to earn them many "rave reviews" anyway. Be lucky to get a "Yeah, they worked here. For 6 months."

C
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Jan 4, 2021
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hierophant wrote: Interesting responses to stick with the deadend job just because it offers a higher rate/hour rather than join a company to develop new skills (especially people's skills in OP's case), gain experience, get out of comfort zone. If you want to go the lazy way, sure stay at your current job. But not everything has to be about more $$, which I suspect is the reason OP asked to begin with.

Also if they're having issues with late payroll, that's a red flag. You might be working for free.
this is the best post in this thread.

no decision to be made.

go to the new place.
drive the 40 minutes each way.
learn a new skill
listen to pod casts
get out of your comfort zone.

the other people suggesting you can "keep looking" for the best fit.... it will never come.. you wont find your dream job.. and to be frank, you're making $50k right now... Going to an $80k-$90k job is a SIGNIFICANT jump and will make you far more marketable.
Deal Expert
Aug 22, 2011
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You've been slacking for a lack of a better description the last 3yrs... can you handle a 5day/40hr work week plus commute going forward?
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Mar 21, 2010
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hierophant wrote: Interesting responses to stick with the deadend job just because it offers a higher rate/hour rather than join a company to develop new skills (especially people's skills in OP's case), gain experience, get out of comfort zone. If you want to go the lazy way, sure stay at your current job. But not everything has to be about more $$, which I suspect is the reason OP asked to begin with.

Also if they're having issues with late payroll, that's a red flag. You might be working for free.
I completely agree about the payroll part, I think whatever happens, this is probably not a long term role for OP.

My opinion about the rest is - what's your goal? Where do you want to get to? What you're suggesting is definitely the traditional goal, for sure. Work is, when it comes down to it, selling your time, ideally for more and more money each time - which is where developing skills, gaining experience, etc. comes in. But I feel like that's not OP's goal and that they don't really need the money. If you don't really need the money, and will always be the #2 in the household because your partner makes more than enough for both of you (big assumption - that the partner is happy with this situation), why not keep more of your time? To prove you're not lazy? It doesn't feel like a strong enough reason to make yourself miserable when you don't have to. OP may not be in a position to never need to work again, but they're at least in a position to be a lot more selective about what work they do than most of us.
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Aug 27, 2020
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It sounds like money is not the driving factor for you family at this point in time. Your physical and mental health are not worth 30K a year considering that your husband makes great money. I would not accept that job offer and find something that you are passionate about that allows you to continue to improve upon your physical and mental health.

Good luck with your decision and remember money doesn't mean much if you don't have your health.
Sr. Member
Dec 15, 2017
511 posts
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Manatus wrote: I wouldn't take it. You're making $50k for 20 hours of (actual) work a week, rather than $80k for 41 hours a week (assuming 35 + 6 hours commute), as well as the additional costs (coffee, lunch, gas, car wear and tear) of commuting.

Clearly right now there are more important things to you than work and making money - which is fine, assuming your spouse is fine with it too. Yes your company sounds kind of bad, but it also sounds like you're likely not going to be there (or with the other company) for more than the short term anyway. That time horizon isn't long enough to learn, build a new network, all those things that the other job claims to offer. I would settle that part first, get more clarity around whether you will be moving, and then think again. The part about whether you will be moving to another city far outweighs the difference between the two jobs, in my opinion.
bingo. We're in a similar situation where I earn about 175k and spouse earns 35k. I tell her to take as few shifts as possible because her time is worth more to us taking care of the house and running errands that I can't. It sounds like the same would apply to you because you only have 3 hours of legitimate work per day. You need to put a price tag on the 21 hours of free time you have while making 50k year. If I was in your position I would rather take a second PT sales job WFH if you're really desperate to supplement your income.
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Feb 3, 2005
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My initial gut thought was... stick with what makes you happy and sane (ie. the current job)... BUT... you did throw in a wrench that your current company seems like a sinking ship.

This new job offer may be just the catalyst you need to kick yourself into gear and start to push yourself a bit and Grow. You are young and this is the time to figure this stuff out and not "settle" and cement a rut and limit on what you are capable of. Will it be a challenge... of course!

I have grown through each roll I have had and the challenges it gave me... sometimes I Hated it... but... the next place I was, it was easier because I had a reference where things were worse, etc.... and I learned better coping skills, etc.

Ultimately, trust your gut. But, if you may need a new job soon anyway... maybe take the leap and see if you can fly in the new role. You can always find another if it isn't the right fit for you? Are you career driven / money driven in any way? If so, this can be the start of trying to climb up to the higher paying sales roles... On the other hand, if you like a low commitment job that lets you be comfortable... and pay isn't important... go that route.
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Nov 13, 2010
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Staying onboard a sinking ship is not wise....get out and save yourself
Deal Guru
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Mar 23, 2008
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dealhunter69420 wrote: this is the best post in this thread.

no decision to be made.

go to the new place.
drive the 40 minutes each way.
learn a new skill
listen to pod casts
get out of your comfort zone.

the other people suggesting you can "keep looking" for the best fit.... it will never come.. you wont find your dream job.. and to be frank, you're making $50k right now... Going to an $80k-$90k job is a SIGNIFICANT jump and will make you far more marketable.
The OP already had jobs for 75K/year in the past, and were ok with giving that up for the 50K job, so money doesn't appear to be the primary driver. The flexibility, lack of commute, etc were all factors, and they aren't going to magically go away with this new possibility.

You're entitled to your opinion, just like everyone else. It comes down to valuing your time vs money. And considering their partner is already making well over the RFD average salary of $100k/year, they may value time more. Entirely up to them to decide.
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Aug 19, 2018
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RE962123223 wrote: My current company is a sinking ship. 4/5 people that work at company quit in the last 2 months.. There have been late payroll payments, money issues and owners mis-management (stock not arriving when promised)
Kinda stopped reading when I saw this. Even if it is the same pay, you leave. From the look of it, you have no future at your current job, anyway. Leave, and if you don't like the new job, no way you are going to regret leaving a sinking ship. You can always find a better job. You are in sale. nobody bat an eye with someone who jump ship in that career.
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Aug 31, 2017
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No need to feel guilty. 3-4 hours of work with no concerns on your quality means you're productive. 8 hour workdays is an arbitrary number, and I assume you're using it strategically well.

Disclaimer: I am making some assumptions here
The new job sounds like it's bringing worry and anxiety = aversion to uncertainty. As mentioned, you've experienced this before. I recommend you first speak with a therapist if you have one (or reach out to one). Why? Because, let's say 2 years from now your company does cease to exist and you still struggle with anxiety, then you'll be in a worse spot. On the flip side, if you take the job, and realize it's too much to handle all at once, then again you can end up in a worse spot which may affect future prospects/network/contacts. I say if you're not already, use this downtime to work through the anxiety and worry with a therapist, and the next time you apply for a role, you will be more confident.

There is solid advice in this thread, but it's based on our own experiences, and some of it is motivated by what society tells us to do. I think working through the anxiety first is the best step. They may very well suggest you take the job, or ease up on the exposure and take a more measured approach. At best you'll have a neutral person who can help guide you better.
Last edited by MyNameWasTaken on May 19th, 2021 1:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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May 10, 2021
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This is really depending on what you value most.

This is the break down :

You are currently working ~ 50K for 16 hour
This new job offers ~90K for 45 hours (with bonus and including commute)

This is roughly 3 times your current working hours for roughly double your current salary.

You have an opportunity for growth in this new role that you may not be able to hold after 6 months, Makes this a invalid point.

You also have mentioned, current company doesn't offer growth, in trouble financially and may not be a place to stay.

Is short term finance important to you? If your partner has identified the city he wants to move, are you able to search a similar job there in advance?

Really think about what you do value most for next 6 months and beyond. Will you regret the commuting hours? Would you like to socialize, create visibility in office setting? The new employer is top in the industry? More learning? Possibility of hybrid - Remote/Office settings will suit you better? More $ ? If you had to quit in 6 months, is it worth taking this job now? etc

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