Hilarious BBC website - and what a waste of money.

Woman wey take her hand, pack her poo-poo comot di toilet of man wey she dey friend because ''e no gree flush'' enter trouble, after she go try collect di poo-poo back.
The woman wey dey learn gymnastics, just start to waka with Bristol student, Liam Smith, for di first time, when she take fear troway di poo-poo comot for window.
Instead make di thing land for garden, di poo-poo come jam between two windows wey no dey open wide.
Di lady decide to carry her thing back; she use head enter the small space wey di poo-poo bin dey, but na so she come trap for there, and trouble start.
Mr Smith say im no get choice but to call fire service make dem help remove di girl, along with her poo-poo.

Hurricane Irma don kill seven people across di Caribbean; di tropical storm don wipe different island troway; authorities say di number of those wey don die, fit rise.
Dem say overnight, Irma don turn di small island of Barbuda to place wey nobodi fit stay, while St Martin, another Island, don almost destroy finish.
Irma na category five hurricane, wey be di highest level. E mean say Irma dey bring strong wind and rain wey fit comot tree, car and even house.
E first hit di two-island country of Antigua and Barbuda; Prime Minister Gaston Browne say one pickin die for Barbuda, where about 95% of all di building don damage.
"Di island don sink inside water," na wetin Mr Browne talk.

Japan tell im citizens on Tuesay to hide for inside strong building and for underground as North Korea missile pass Hokkaido Island for Japan before im land for sea.
Japan Prime Minister Shinzo Abe don call dis one serious threat against im country. Im say im don follow President Donald Trump talk and im say both of dem gree say dem must increase pressure on top North Korea head.
North Korea dey carry out many missile test, for 1998 and 2009 North Korea fire rocket pass Japan but dem say na to launch satellite. Dis na di first time dem go fire real ballistic weapon pass Japan.

''We want make Russia close their consulate and other buildings wey dem dey use before 48 hours," na wetin the U.S. State Department don talk.
The United States say before dem open eyes and 48 hours pass, make e be say Russia don lock their consulate wey dey for San Francisco, California and two other satellite buildings wey dey for Washington D.C and New York City.