Parenting & Family

How to deal with trouble maker in child's kindergarten class

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[OP]
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Oct 1, 2004
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How to deal with trouble maker in child's kindergarten class

In her JK class there is this one trouble maker who misbehaves A LOT, pushed my daughter, taken her stuff, draw on her, cut her hair! She does not seem to single out anyone, just a trouble maker all around.

So far teachers had numerous "talks" with her parents, her parents apologized every time. However she seems to find new ways to get in trouble.

How would you deal with this? I don't want to Move her to another class since that's the equivalent of put my daughter In a bubble and think everyone is nice and kind, but still enough is enough.
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Jan 27, 2007
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Hold the teachers and principal accountable. Go to the board super intendant or media if they dont do their job.
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Sep 5, 2009
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Kindergarten is tough. I can only assume that this is a child that will later be identified as having special needs. The answer here is to put pressure on the principal to get more support in the classroom. An educational assistant can help manage the child's behaviour. In situations like this class size really matters.
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Jan 2, 2015
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dutchca wrote: Hold the teachers and principal accountable. Go to the board super intendant or media if they dont do their job.
I am assuming you are kidding?

I am guessing since its jk and the kids are about 4, this is not a public school. I could be wrong, but I thought most public schools start on K. That being said, there is no principle or superintendent. Maybe the owner or the administrator to the school at best. I would say that's a little bit of over kill at this age and depending on what teacher is doing about the situation.

Going to the media about a four year old misbehaving? That not very news worthy, in a private school setting, the other child has the same right to be there. If the OP feels really strongly, they could rally the other parents to have the child thrown of the school. then they will be known as 'those parents that had ganged up on a four year old'.

There must be better options.
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Jan 2, 2015
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greg123 wrote: In her JK class there is this one trouble maker who misbehaves A LOT, pushed my daughter, taken her stuff, draw on her, cut her hair! She does not seem to single out anyone, just a trouble maker all around.

So far teachers had numerous "talks" with her parents, her parents apologized every time. However she seems to find new ways to get in trouble.

How would you deal with this? I don't want to Move her to another class since that's the equivalent of put my daughter In a bubble and think everyone is nice and kind, but still enough is enough.

I would approach the situation from different angles.

First, i would be working with my child on developing strategies to deal with the child. Part of it is yelling stop, and defending herself to get away from the situation and notifying the teacher. I have always taught my kids, use words first, if that doesn't work do what you can to get away and get help. Teaching your child to be assertive but not agressive is a great lesson.

Second, is the teacher. What is the teacher doing? If the teacher is attempting to deal with it, then I would suggest that the child be watched more closely, and seperated from my child. I would also ask that next year, they are not put in the same class if there is more than one class.

Often, if there is a special needs, the teachers cannot tell you anyways. So, really you can only work with your child and your teacher.


Finally, there is only a few more weeks left, so I would just working on teaching your child strategies.

I would be teaching my child how to defend themselves, and setting appropriate limits.
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Oct 6, 2005
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greg123 wrote: In her JK class there is this one trouble maker who misbehaves A LOT, pushed my daughter, taken her stuff, draw on her, cut her hair! She does not seem to single out anyone, just a trouble maker all around.

So far teachers had numerous "talks" with her parents, her parents apologized every time. However she seems to find new ways to get in trouble.

How would you deal with this? I don't want to Move her to another class since that's the equivalent of put my daughter In a bubble and think everyone is nice and kind, but still enough is enough.
Considering everything that has happened (not an isolated case) and the child cut your daughters hair (serious) I would pursue it further. Depending if the school is treating the matter with the appropriate level of attention, how mad you are, you may want to threaten to file assault charges or calling child services...

Macx2mommy wrote: Going to the media about a four year old misbehaving? That not very news worthy, in a private school setting, the other child has the same right to be there.
It does not look like an isolated incident (pushing, stealing, etc.) and cutting hair is a serious attack on someone's personal well being. Also, looks like the child has a lack of self-control lashing out with scissors... most 4 to 5 year old know scissors are not playthings.
[OP]
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Oct 1, 2004
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dgnr8 wrote: Kindergarten is tough. I can only assume that this is a child that will later be identified as having special needs. The answer here is to put pressure on the principal to get more support in the classroom. An educational assistant can help manage the child's behaviour. In situations like this class size really matters.
What kind of special needs? It just seems the kid lacks serious displicine, and the parents seems to be trying hard at home so they say. I know some kids are easier to manage than others but this is a wild one for sure.

Not sure what the kindergarten ratio is in Ontario, it's jk/sk mixed class with 2 teachers and about 20 kids. They won't be in the same class next year for sure since the trouble kid is sk so she should be in grade 1 and my moves to SK. But should I insist on putting this incident in the child's record with the school so her future teacher is aware? I don't know if I want to make it a permanent record and scar the kid for life.
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Sep 12, 2007
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Macx2mommy wrote: I am assuming you are kidding?

I am guessing since its jk and the kids are about 4, this is not a public school. I could be wrong, but I thought most public schools start on K. That being said, there is no principle or superintendent. Maybe the owner or the administrator to the school at best. I would say that's a little bit of over kill at this age and depending on what teacher is doing about the situation.

Going to the media about a four year old misbehaving? That not very news worthy, in a private school setting, the other child has the same right to be there. If the OP feels really strongly, they could rally the other parents to have the child thrown of the school. then they will be known as 'those parents that had ganged up on a four year old'.

There must be better options.
FYI, JK is in the public (and catholic) school system.
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Jun 8, 2008
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greg123 wrote: But should I insist on putting this incident in the child's record with the school so her future teacher is aware? I don't know if I want to make it a permanent record and scar the kid for life.
No, you have no right to determine what goes on another child's permanent record; if the school thinks its warrants it, they will. There are three weeks left in class, just leave it and move on and enjoy the summer!
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May 28, 2012
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The teacher should be doing something about the matter, particularly when personal safety is at stake. Kindergarten is more for about routine and learning socialization than academic skills...some children are behind. It helps for your child to learn strategies for dealing with conflict, and not simply going to the teacher because she won't always be around when these incidences happen. At that age, a disruptive child will often see themselves isolated...no on wants to play with them...they can get worse at this stage.
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greg123 wrote: What kind of special needs? It just seems the kid lacks serious displicine, and the parents seems to be trying hard at home so they say. I know some kids are easier to manage than others but this is a wild one for sure.

Not sure what the kindergarten ratio is in Ontario, it's jk/sk mixed class with 2 teachers and about 20 kids. They won't be in the same class next year for sure since the trouble kid is sk so she should be in grade 1 and my moves to SK. But should I insist on putting this incident in the child's record with the school so her future teacher is aware? I don't know if I want to make it a permanent record and scar the kid for life.
There could be a variety of issues and I could be wrong. But if the parents have tried a variety of things and these issues have persisted all year there usually is a deeper issue.

As for the ratio, in kindergarten it is a guideline, not a cap. What that means is that there are some classes with over 30 kids in them because the principal doesn't have a hard cap to work by. In your case it is about 20 kids. Anyone with 2 or more kids can tell you that one is a handful they monopolize your time, the same is true in a classroom. The greatest immediate impact is extra support in the classroom.

I agree with a lot of the above posters, you should work with your child on how to deal with difficult people. Building a relationship with the 'disruptive' child may have a positive impact.
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Feb 25, 2015
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greg123 wrote: What kind of special needs? It just seems the kid lacks serious displicine, and the parents seems to be trying hard at home so they say. I know some kids are easier to manage than others but this is a wild one for sure.

Not sure what the kindergarten ratio is in Ontario, it's jk/sk mixed class with 2 teachers and about 20 kids. They won't be in the same class next year for sure since the trouble kid is sk so she should be in grade 1 and my moves to SK. But should I insist on putting this incident in the child's record with the school so her future teacher is aware? I don't know if I want to make it a permanent record and scar the kid for life.
Sounds like the kid has behavioral issues and the school can't or doesn't want to pony up for an extra EA which is normal since they have no money. The kid requires extra support and the school is failing her.
There is no perfect bubble and I don't think anyone wants their kids to live in a bubble so all you can do is express your concerns to the teacher and teach your daughter how to be tolerant of everyone and figure out how to avoid "evil children" with special needs I guess...
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Jun 9, 2003
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there is only 3 weeks left...if you have that much of a concern...just pull your kid out for the last 3 weeks.

if you are concerned about next year...you can always think about private schooling for SK (ie pre grade 1 Montessori).
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May 10, 2011
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There isn't really much that the school and the teacher can do. Their hands are tied due to all the policies.

The best way is to teach your own kid how to deal with it. Also works with other parents in her class. Set up a play date and invite a few other "good" kids and their parents. Bring the topic up with them when the kids are playing. There isn't any silver bullet, but sometimes all it takes is to tell your kid and their friends to "gang up" when the bullying happens. Works pretty good when the bully is a single kid.
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Jan 19, 2004
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I have a different POV. It seems the teachers and parents are aware of this situation and nothing seems to improve.

Is there a way you could "teach" or speak to your child about how to react to those type of situations?

Such as: responding with a loud STOP to the culprit. I have a 4yr old in JK and this is how he deals with bullies. He has responded a couples times and the other child no longer mess with him.

We can't solely placed all the responsibility on the teacher. We need to arm our child with appropriate responses and not expect others come to the rescue.

Goodluck.
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wirebound wrote: There are three weeks left in class, just leave it and move on and enjoy the summer!

Till next year when the problem child pokes some other kid's eye out with a pair of scissors.
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May 10, 2011
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Dragon120 wrote: We need to arm our child with appropriate responses and not expect others come to the rescue.
Exactly. Telling them that they can't/shouldn't deal with it themselves is the reason why they got bullied in the first place.

As Dragon120 said, your kid doesn't need any special skills or crazy martial arts. There are lot of ways: a simple but firm verbal response, or just tell your kid to tickle the other kid if the bullying is physical, or ask her to help other kids out when they got bullied so the bully know not to mess with the pack, etc.

Be creative and stay within the rules. Don't hide them in a closet or take the matter into your own hand.
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steve-0101 wrote: FYI, JK is in the public (and catholic) school system.
Didn't know that. In AB, Public starts at K, JK is all private.
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Dragon120 wrote: I have a different POV. It seems the teachers and parents are aware of this situation and nothing seems to improve.

Is there a way you could "teach" or speak to your child about how to react to those type of situations?

Such as: responding with a loud STOP to the culprit. I have a 4yr old in JK and this is how he deals with bullies. He has responded a couples times and the other child no longer mess with him.

We can't solely placed all the responsibility on the teacher. We need to arm our child with appropriate responses and not expect others come to the rescue.

Goodluck.
Well said.
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Macx2mommy wrote: Didn't know that. In AB, Public starts at K, JK is all private.
don't worry that will change soon with the new govt that AB voted in ;)

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