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how to dispose your deceased pet? (and share some thoughts on final days with your pets)

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  • Mar 3rd, 2021 12:45 am
[OP]
Deal Addict
User avatar
Apr 30, 2005
3230 posts
913 upvotes
Mars

how to dispose your deceased pet? (and share some thoughts on final days with your pets)

could never figure out how to use the search function here - I remember seeing some posts like this before but could not dig them up.

the reason I'm asking this is one of my cats - almost 20 now, his day is counting. I'm preparing any time to take him to vet to end his pain when the time is coming. And I would like to know the ways to dispose my deceased pets just as a backup plan. (the vet I mentioned below retired and closed clinic 2 or 3 years ago.)

about seven and half years ago, one of my cats, this 20-year-old cat's brother (same mother same litter) died from something called "uronephrosis". it was too late when we found it - one day my wife noticed him laying on his side, the middle body part waving heavily when he breathe, I took him to the vet on the very next day, the vet told me it'd better if I euthanize him on spot to end his pain - needless to say that was too much a shock I could take on spot, because he seemed "normal" to us just the day before. of course later on in retrospect, there were signs, he was trying to hide himself a week or 2 before, he sometimes suddenly yelled loudly without obvious reason, etc. my wife was sick at that time, I could not make that decision by myself - F***, i still feel like crying when I type this. A grown-up man called his wife and crying over the phone in the patient room. it was too much for her too. So i told the vet that I will take him back to let my wife see him for the last time - because she had no idea that was the last time she would see him leave home and not coming back, and I will take him back again the coming monday to euthanize him if he was not getting better. (it was a friday when I visit the vet)

it was a huge mistake.

once he got back home, the situation deteriorated fast and evident within hours, and it was too late to go back to the vet, the office closed, and then it was a weekend. A painful story in short, I stayed up all night with him, watching him struggling breathing more and more difficultly, and I just could not keep from crying seeing him in pain and i could not do anything - had I had the medication and the needle, I would definitely put him down myself at that time.
On early Sat morning, i put him on our bed, he "jumped" in his best effort towards my wife, breathe hardly, peed uncontrollably on bed and gone. My wife was totally devastated.

I took him back to the same vet, who charged me $25 then.

3 lessons/questions to share with all pet lovers:

A. Would you think I love my cat more if I was happy to pay for $250 or even more to the vet or any vet to dispose my cat, or I paid only $25 made me a person not love my pet so much?

B. On the very first day when we take them home, we all know, at least subconsciously that day of good-bye will come some day. I know it's HARD, and even HARDER to do the right thing during HARD time - do something, the last thing that is good for them, end their pain, even when this means more pain for you.

C. Stay rational, that's probably the HARDEST part during emotional trauma. I will adamantly refuse to be ripped off and taken advantage of during the painful time, not because I'm a RFDer - yes, as I said in other posts before, call me cheap - "you are saying i'm smart (as a deal hunter)" (russell peters), but I never cheap on my pets, I always give them the best I could - however this does NOT mean I will let the vet rip me off using my pets as hostages or emotionally manipulate me - to let RATIONALITY PREVAIL during such difficult times is for the GREATER good for all, now and future, pets and pet owners - do NOT inflate the fees and costs and do NOT spoil the vets and the profession.
3 replies
Newbie
Dec 10, 2007
17 posts
1 upvote
Vancouver, BC
Hi forgetpwd,
First off, sorry to hear about your cat. It's never easy to lose a loved one.

You can drop off a deceased pet at an emergency clinic or at your vet clinic. In my experience, if you choose to do a private cremation, the emergency clinic will send the urn with the ashes to your vet clinic.
There are two types of cremations: communal (many different animals mixed together, you do not get ashes back) or private (only one animal is cremated and you get ashes back in an urn) Latter is more expensive, for obvious reasons.

As for your questions:
A. Would you think I love my cat more if I was happy to pay for $250 or even more to the vet or any vet to dispose my cat, or I paid only $25 made me a person not love my pet so much?

This is only something you can judge yourself on. I know it is a hard decision but ultimately you will be the one that has to live with the decision. If you choose to euthanize or let your pet pass at home, it really is up to you. Sounds like your cat was in serious pain and euthanization would've end your cat's suffering sooner- but we are well human and want more time with our loved ones.

I'm confused about this:
"but I never cheap on my pets, I always give them the best I could - however this does NOT mean I will let the vet rip me off using my pets as hostages or emotionally manipulate me - to let RATIONALITY PREVAIL during such difficult times is for the GREATER good for all, now and future, pets and pet owners - do NOT inflate the fees and costs and do NOT spoil the vets and the profession."

What inflated fees and costs? If you choose to euthanize your pets, there is a higher cost which accounts for the drugs and the vet's time. However, you are choosing for a more humane approach to death, and your cat would suffer less. I'm guessing the $250 vs $25 cost is for that, but by no means it is an inflation to costs or fees.
If you're referring to the other thread about the 19 year old cat- we don't know the full story. There might be more on the bill than just the euthanization/ cremation fees but the OP did not receive an itemized bill so we are uncertain what OP was charged for.
Deal Addict
User avatar
Feb 20, 2015
1044 posts
645 upvotes
Southern Ontario
Drive to the country, bring a shovel. Find a piece of land, dig a hole and have a small ceremony.

Cost is Free.

I lost a lot of pets growing up on a farm near a major highway, I had the job to bury them. I made peace with it and they are where they should be. Outdoor cats don't live long lives with predators and dangers outside. Yours lasted a long life, we all go back to the earth sometime.
Newbie
Feb 25, 2021
33 posts
12 upvotes
Sorry for your loss. I lost my dog a few years back. She struggled years with an autoimmune disease. She passed 6 years after her first diagnoses in our arms at home. With that being said, we did have connection with the local Emergency Clinic, so we chose to cremate her as pp said. I tried searching for a pet cemetery but there's none close by to where we are. We have kept her ash in an urn with us at home since.

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